by Aly Martinez
It took me over a week to get my security system updated. Our new security plan came complete with DEA surveillance on the outside of the house. We didn’t have agents waiting at the door anymore, but they were still in and out a good bit. We were keeping things tight without being overt.
As I’d expected, Tomlinson fired me. Or, really, he told me he was going to fire me as soon as Noir was behind bars. He couldn’t risk assigning someone new to Clare’s case.
With the information Clare had provided the department, they were able to take a large chunk of Noir’s operation down. And, slowly but surely, they were making great strides at bringing him down completely. After his little stunt with Elisabeth, he’d gone back into hiding. All it was going to take was one of his men who were now in custody to give up his location and we’d be home free.
“Oh my God, it’s so cute!” Clare exclaimed, bouncing with excitement in the passenger’s seat of my Explorer.
I hadn’t stayed at my house in weeks, but even with the lingering unease I felt about bringing Clare and Tessa there, I had to admit that it felt really fucking good to be home.
“Heaf, dis you house?” Tessa asked.
My whole body jerked, and Clare’s hand slapped down on my forearm.
“Did you hear that?” she whispered.
Oh, I’d heard it. Never had my name been so sweet.
It made me a bitch, but a lump lodged in my throat. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized that I actually cared what Tessa called me. Luke was a façade, but with a simple syllable, she’d made me something real in her life. And, if I had anything to say about it, something permanent.
“Jesus,” I breathed. After clearing my throat, I managed to speak. “Yeah, sweet girl. This is our house now.”
Clare squeezed my arm and offered me a smile.
Fuck, Walter Noir was insane. That man had had it all.
An amazing wife.
A gorgeous daughter.
A beautiful life.
But, for some reason, he hadn’t been able to get his shit together enough to hold on to it.
And thank God for that.
Because, now, she was my woman.
My girl.
My life.
Before I was forced to hand my balls over, I turned the car off and shoved the door open, saying, “Let’s go in.”
Tessa squealed as I unbuckled her from the car seat and again as I planted her on my shoulders.
Clare rounded the hood and took her place under my outstretched arm. “I have to confess, after seeing your yard, I’m even more excited.”
I chuckled and looked down. “You’re frothing at the mouth to get your hands on those bushes, aren’t you?”
“Yes! I know it’s January, but that’s just sad. They’re never going to bloom this year if you don’t trim them back.”
“Have at it, babe. The backyard should make you damn near orgasmic if this got your motor running.”
She draped her arm around my hips, tucking her hand in the back pocket of my jeans as we strolled up the sidewalk to my front door.
I released Clare long enough to use my key to open the door.
But, after I’d swung it open, the world stopped turning.
“Take her,” I growled, passing Tessa off to her mother before racing into my house.
The alarm beeped in warning as I spun in a circle, my heart slamming in my chest and ice coursing through my veins.
“You have got to be shitting me!” I growled, storming over to the bar that divided my kitchen and my living room. A vase of flowers sat on the granite countertop. I plucked the card off, read it, and then threw it on the counter. “Son of a…” I trailed off as I snatched my phone from my back pocket.
“Heath?” Clare called cautiously, her gaze flashing around the room.
“Put your code into the alarm, babe,” I ordered.
I dialed my phone as I listened to the chirps of her dialing her numbers into the security panel.
“Do I need to hit the green button?” she asked.
“Yep,” I snapped, lifting my phone to my ear.
He answered on the first ring.
“Leblanc? Put Elisabeth on the phone.”
“She’s in the shower. Everything okay?”
I gritted my teeth. “No. Everything is not fucking okay. I just got home and there are goddamn floral throw pillows on my couch.”
He barked a laugh.
“This is not funny! I have a coffee table, Roman. It has coasters on it.”
He continued to laugh.
I turned in another circle, taking in the explosion of patterns that had most definitely not been there when I’d left the day before. My gaze landed on Clare, who was biting her lips to hold her laughter back.
I pointed at her. “Did you have any part of this?”
A giggle escaped as she shook her head.
“Oh, Heaf, you house is beautiful!” Tessa exclaimed, rushing over to what could only be described as a massive vase filled with petrified branches covered in glitter.
My stomach actually churned at the sight.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and turned away only to find a table with a wicker basket next to the door. A matching pair of motherfucking sconces were mounted on the wall above it.
“Roman, put your wife on the phone,” I demanded.
“You know Elisabeth had help. Maggie was more than willing to let the delivery people in.”
“Of course she did,” I grumbled.
“Maybe you should have stayed here?” he said, his voice thick with amusement.
“Is that what this is? Payback for leaving?”
“No, that’s Elisabeth’s way of making sure Clare and Tessa are comfortable and not living in a bachelor pad. However, when you get upstairs and find all of those scented candles in your bedroom, that’s your payback for leaving.” He laughed again before saying, “Call me if you need anything,” and then he hung up.
I fisted my hands on my hips and turned to the kitchen only to wince when I saw pink-and-white-striped dishtowels hanging on the door of my oven.
Clare’s arms wrapped around me from behind. “I think it looks nice.”
I raked my hand through my hair. “This isn’t going to work out. I think we need to get a divorce.”
She laughed musically. “We aren’t married.”
“Then, for the love of all that’s holy, please tell me why my house looks like we just celebrated our tenth anniversary.”
Her chest shook against my back. “Maybe I can talk to Elisabeth and see if we can switch some of it out for something a little more…uh…gender neutral.”
Tessa shoved past me and went straight to the fridge. “Heaf, you got chocolate milk?”
I sighed. “I don’t know, sweet girl. But, from the looks of the place, I’m betting there is probably some rose water in there.”
Clare laughed so loud that my smile broke before I could even stop it.
She slid around to my front. “Breathe, honey. They’re only decorations.”
I looped my arms around her hips and brushed my lips with hers, admitting, “I’m scared to go upstairs.”
She smiled against my mouth. “How about I go up there first and get rid of anything that could possibly be construed as feminine?”
“No. My guys cleared the house right before we got here, but I should still check it out first.”
Her eyes grew wide as her hands drifted under the hem of my shirt. “I won’t lie. I knew she was up to something. She asked me to help her pick out a new duvet. But I remembered she’d just gotten a new one.”
I curled my lip. “What the fucking hell is a duvet?”
“It’s like a comforter. And…let’s just say, the one I told her I liked had big magnolias on it.”
I closed my eyes and groaned. She, of course, giggled at my pain. If I didn’t love her so damn much, I would’ve been offended.
Gathering up all the courage I could muster, I headed for the st
airs. “Pray for me.”
She smirked. “Do I get the house if you stroke out?”
“Don’t look so excited. It’s not paid off.”
She covered her smile with her hand.
I took the first step up. “Tell my family I love them. Well, except Melanie. She’s pissed at me right now for calling her job and leaving a message with her secretary that her gonorrhea test had come back positive. Maybe wait a week before contacting her.”
Her mouth gaped. “You did not!”
I took another step up. “You’re not praying.”
“Oh, right.” She folded her hands in front of her and closed her eyes.
Only then did I allow myself to smile.
Huge.
I was lying on my stomach on his bed, in nothing but one of Heath’s T-shirts and a pair of panties. My knees were bent, my ankles crisscrossed in the air above me as I flipped through the pages of a huge plastic binder.
I’d spent over an hour soaking in his bathtub while Heath had taken on the task of getting Tessa settled in her new bed in his bright-pink guestroom that looked like Kid’s Pottery Barn had thrown up all over it. I hadn’t been sure Heath would survive that one. But, of all the rooms Elisabeth and Maggie had decorated in the house, that was the one that bothered him the least.
He’d peeked his head in the doorway and grunted, “Looks like her.” Then went on to obsessing about the new yellow and black chevron in his bathroom. “Georgia Tech colors,” he’d muttered just seconds before stripping the shower curtain down and throwing it in the trash.
“I can’t decide how I feel about this,” I called out to him when he came sauntering into his bedroom.
Maggie had not been lying. My man did, in fact, have a collection of Pokémon cards in the top of his closet. He also had baseball cards, football cards, and some weird Olympic cards that had apparently been popular at some point.
I knew Heath well—or so I’d thought. But being in someone else’s space is telling on a whole new level. I’d learned that Heath was a bit of a packrat. He was super neat though, so all of his random collections were organized in shoeboxes or binders and stacked alphabetically in his closet.
Yes. Alphabetically.
So perhaps neat wasn’t the right word. Anal was probably more fitting. But it was cute.
Other things I’d learned:
He didn’t play video games.
Loved Chuck Palahniuk novels.
He had a penchant for old guns.
And he had the most random assortment of spices I’d ever seen. Apparently, he was an experimental cook. But he hated almost all of it and ate sandwiches instead of whatever failed meal he’d attempted.
“You feel incredibly turned on and are fighting the urge to jump me,” he replied, crawling up the bed on all fours until he hovered over me.
“She asleep?”
As his lips pressed behind my ear, I moaned and turned my head so he could kiss my neck.
“Yep. She was almost out before I finished the first page of the book.”
“Thanks for putting her down. Your bathtub is amazing.”
“That’s because you’re small. I tried to get in there one time and I swear my heels were touching my ass. I instantly regretted the garden tub upgrade the builder had sold me on.” He kissed my neck again. “At least, now, I can consider it money well spent.”
I rolled over underneath him and slid my hands up his chest. “How long have you lived here?”
“Three years. When Maggie first moved in with me, I had a little two-bedroom apartment. But, let me just tell you, that shit got small. Women are a nightmare to live with.”
I bit my bottom lip. “You do know I’m a woman, right?”
“What?” He feigned surprise. “No way.” He shifted his weight onto one arm, using his other to pat down my breasts. “Well, what do you know?”
I glided my hands around to his ass and dragged his hips down to rest between my legs. The friction of his denim against my barely covered core lit my system up. “I promise not to be a nightmare—all the time, anyway.”
He kissed me chastely and whispered, “Liar.”
“Probably,” I murmured back, seductively rolling my hips off the bed.
He pressed down against me and cussed, but then he suddenly shifted to the side and propped himself on an elbow. “Before we get to that, I need you to talk to me. And I need you to be honest.” He arched a sexy eyebrow. “Can you do that?”
“I can do a lot of things,” I replied breathily.
He grinned. His large, callused hand brushed my damp hair off my face. “You gonna be able to sleep with her in the other room tonight?”
I cut my gaze over his shoulder as a bucket of ice water doused my mood. “Um.”
No. No, I wasn’t going to be able to sleep a single wink with her in the other room. But he didn’t make me admit that.
“That’s what I thought,” he said. “So listen. Me and you, we’ll hang out. Do our thing. And when you start to fall asleep, I’ll go get her and put her in bed with you. I’ll sleep on the couch. My dick might shrivel if I sleep in that neon-pink room of hers.”
My heart lurched. I didn’t want him sleeping in another room, either.
Sure, I was playing the part. Putting a brave smile on and pretending I wasn’t scared out of my wits. But the fact of the matter was we were somewhere new, and only a week earlier, Walt had killed a good man in order to send me a message. I trusted Heath implicitly, and I believed with my whole heart that we’d made the right decision by leaving Roman and Elisabeth’s. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t still worried.
“It’s a king-sized bed, honey. We’ll all fit,” I said.
His face turned soft. “Clare, I love you. And you gotta know by now that I love Tessa too, but I don’t think it’s in anyone’s best interest for her to wake up in a bed with me and her mom. Yeah, she’s seen us hugging and kissing, and I’m okay with that because I want her to know that love can be gentle. And I want her to see how much you trust me because then she’ll trust me more too. But, a couple of months ago, you were in Noir’s bed—the man she called daddy.”
I opened my mouth to object, but he talked over me.
“I know you didn’t want to be there. And I know you were mine even back then. I’ll be damned if she ever calls him daddy again. But she doesn’t understand that shit. I think we need to give this thing between us a little more time to grow before she wakes up in the morning snuggled into my chest.”
I sat up and crisscrossed my legs between us. “Because that’s exactly where she’d be. Snuggled into your chest. Heath, I love you for the way you make me feel. For the way I come alive under your touch. I love you because you’re smart and funny and thoughtful. You’ve gone through hell and even sacrificed your own job to be with me. You look at me like I’m the only woman you’ve ever seen. And hold me like you never want to let go. You laugh with me. And challenge me to be a better person, but at the same time, you remind me that there is nothing wrong with the person I already am. But that’s why I love you.”
He cupped my face and lazily trailed his thumb over my cheek. “Jesus, Clare.”
I covered his hand at my face. “But, Heath, honey, Tessa loves you because, from the first day she met you, you were always kind and gentle with both of us. When she was terrified on that driveway, watching her daddy beating me while Roman yelled at her from the gate, chaos swirling all around her, she ran to you because she knew you’d make it okay. And you did.” I sucked in a shaky breath as my vision got blurry. “For both of us.”
“Come here, babe,” he murmured, hooking his arms around my waist and pulling me down to lie beside him, my head resting on his bicep.
“She’s young, but if you think for a single second she doesn’t know what you’ve done for us, you’re crazy.” I smiled, and a tear slid down my cheek.
Using his thumb, he wiped it away.
“So, yeah,” I said, “she’s a kid who’s been
through hell in her short life, and she might be confused about a lot of it, but waking up between her mom and a man she trusts and loves is probably exactly what she needs.”
“Fuck,” he breathed, his mouth pressing against mine for a deep closed-mouth kiss.
I broke it all too soon. “But, if you don’t feel comfortable with her sharing a bed with you… That, I’ll understand. It’ll suck because you two are my life. But you’re right. She’s not yours—”
“Yet,” he quickly corrected.
My head jerked back. “What?”
“She’s not mine yet. She will be eventually.”
Oh.
My.
God.
My nose started stinging as my face contorted into that dreaded chin-quivering, scrunched-up, on-the-verge-of-an-ugly-cry expression.
“When this is all over, it’s still going to be me, you, and Tessa,” he said. “We’re making a life together. And, in that life, she’s gonna grow up. It’s gonna be me teaching her how to ride a bike. Me bandaging her skinned knees. Me interrogating her first boyfriend. Me teaching her how to drive a car. Me grounding her for sneaking out. Me building bookshelves in her college dorm. And me walking her down the aisle one day when she’s at least forty years old.”
I hiccoughed a laugh through my tears, and he shot me a smirk.
“Right now, she’s your girl because I haven’t earned the right to call her mine yet. But I will. And, when I do, she’s gonna be our girl. So, if you’re good with her waking up with me now before I’ve earned that role, then I’m good with it, too.”
God, he was going to make such an amazing dad, even if he was just Heath to her for the rest of her life.
And, with that realization, something dawned on me.
“Do you want kids of your own?” I sniffled, nerves fluttering in my stomach. “Because I…I don’t know that I can give them to you.”
“I do,” he replied curtly. “And I want them with you.” He gripped the back of my neck and gave it a reassuring squeeze as he rested his forehead against mine. “You’re twenty-eight, Clare. We’ve got a lot of years ahead of us. If a baby comes in that time, great. But, if it doesn’t, that’ll be okay too. I’ve got you. And we’ve got Tessa. The rest is just bonus.”