by Aly Martinez
“I think I want to tell you,” I admitted.
He curled his hand around the back of my neck and leveled his gaze on mine. “Then I’m gonna listen.”
I nodded and took a minute to rinse my hair while gathering my nerves. “I used to sleep with a knife under my mattress. I remembered it when he left the room to get me some ice for my face.”
He closed his eyes and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, his hands tensing at my hips.
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked in a whisper.
He turned his sad, blue gaze back to mine. “What I want is for you to have never been in that house with him.”
I slid my hands up his chest. “Me too. But I’m okay, honey.”
His eyebrows pinched together. “Are you? I mean…are you really?”
I wasn’t. But I knew I would be. And the promise of that was more than I’d had in years.
I found the bar of soap and lathered it in my hands before setting it aside. Silently, I went to work cleansing his hard planes and straining muscles of the blood I’d transferred all over him.
When he was finally clean, I found the courage to continue. “I asked him to lie down with me.” I peeked up at him through my lashes. “And, when he turned to set his gun down on the nightstand, I stabbed him in the neck and screamed for Elisabeth to run.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he stared down at me—despair marring his handsome face.
“He struggled at first, gurgling blood as he fought to get the knife.” My voice broke.
“You don’t have to do this,” he whispered.
I shook my head, needing him to hear me. “I don’t know how many times I stabbed him. I couldn’t stop until he was dead. Even if the police had swarmed in to arrest him, I would never have been able to escape if he was still alive.” My voice hitched. “I couldn’t stop. I would have been stuck in that house, living under the weight of his captivity, for the rest of my life regardless of if I got out or not. I needed him dead. And, honestly, I’m afraid of what that says about me as a person.”
He blew out a ragged breath and cupped each side of my face. “It’s okay to be confused about this right now. You’ve been through a lot. And we’re gonna get you someone to talk to who can help you through this.” Tipping my head back, he swept his lips across mine. “But you need to hear me now and really take this shit in. You did what you had to do in order to survive. And, as pissed off as I am about you taking that risk, deep down, I’m so fucking proud of you.”
My breathing shuddered. “You’re proud of me for killing a man?”
Palming the back of my head, he tucked my face into his neck. “No, Clare. I’m proud of you for being strong enough to bring my woman home to me when I couldn’t.”
My nails dug into his shoulder as I murmured a sad, “Heath.”
“Shhh. That’s enough talking for now. We need to get out of here and let a doctor check you over. While they’re doing that, I’ll give Devon a call and have him bring Tessa up.”
My whole body sagged in his arms. “That sounds amazing.”
He stood there for several beats before saying, “You gotta let me go, babe.”
“I know,” I said without releasing him.
And then Heath being Heath muttered, “Whenever you’re ready.” And then stood in the water that was starting to chill for at least another five minutes.
“I said back the fuck up,” Heath growled.
Lifting his hands in the air, the young emergency room doctor backed away, his eyes wide. “Sir, it’s just a sedative,” he defended.
Heath took another angry step toward him. “Yeah. And she said she doesn’t want it.”
That wasn’t exactly what I’d said, but I figured he was paraphrasing.
I wasn’t scared of needles, and I desperately needed something to help slow my racing heart, but I’d yet to mention that I was pregnant to anyone.
And weren’t we a fucking pair, because the second I lost my shit, Heath lost his too.
Only my shit had been clawing up the bed, repeating, “Wait, wait, wait.”
Heath’s was much scarier.
“Do not make me repeat myself,” he snarled, taking another step forward.
I grabbed Heath’s arm. “Okay, let’s just take a deep breath.” I turned my gaze to the doctor. “Can I have a minute alone with my…um…guy?”
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever.” He pocketed the shot as he headed for the door, peering over his shoulder as if he were afraid Heath was going to attack him from behind.
And, as I looked back up at Heath, I understood the man’s fear.
“Honey,” I purred, tugging on his arm.
His irate gaze jumped to mine.
“Breathe. There’s no reason to be upset.”
“Bullshit. I’m pretty sure the word wait means the same as it always has. You don’t want that medicine—he does not get to continue. Plain and simple.”
I grinned and scooted over in the bed. “It’s just—” Shit. Why is this so hard? “Come here, Heath. We need to talk.”
He folded his tense body to sit on the edge of the bed and stared at me expectantly.
But I said not a single word.
I could have danced around this conversation for nine months. Part of me was nervous to tell him. Part was excited for him to know. Part was terrified that there was nothing to know.
“What do you need, Clare?” he whispered when I started chewing on my thumbnail.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted.
His already tense shoulders turned to stone. “I’m sorry. What?”
“I’m pregnant. Well, at least I was this morning.”
His face paled. “How…how do you know?”
I wrung my hands in my lap. “I ordered a test on Amazon. Also, coincidentally, I stole your credit card to buy a test on Amazon.”
“But we used protection,” he argued.
“Except for those couple of times in the shower. And I’m pretty sure that still counts.”
He shot to his feet. “Oh, Jesus.”
“Heath, it’s okay. We don’t even know if it will stick.”
He began to pace. With one hand on his hip, he raked the other through his hair, repeating, “Oh, Jesus. That’s not better.”
Oh shit. So maybe Heath didn’t share my excitement about us having made a baby in love. I guessed it was pretty quick for us to be starting a family. And I had just killed my husband after having been kidnapped.
Okay, so it was definitely bad timing.
“With my history…it’s probably nothing.”
He stopped and blinked at me. “Probably nothing?”
“I just mean, I’ve never gotten pregnant without medical intervention. Maybe the tests were wrong.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Tests? How many did you take?”
“Well, they came in a two-pack. So….” I bit my lip and squeaked around it, “two.”
He gripped the back of his neck.
And, just as I decided to crawl under the blankets and never show my face again, he boomed, “That motherfucker. Took my woman while she was pregnant with my baby!”
Alex came barreling in the room. “Everything good?” he asked, surveying the otherwise empty room.
Heath stormed past him and out the door. “Yep. I’m just about to light a body from the morgue on fire.”
“Heath, stop!” I scrambled after him. “Stop him,” I told Alex.
But Heath was gone.
I’d barely made it to the door when he reappeared, his arm around the bicep of the same frightened doctor.
“Tell me if my baby’s okay,” he ordered at the doctor as if he had ultrasonic vision.
“You’re pregnant?” the doctor asked, snatching his pencil-thin arm from Heath’s grasp.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologized to him before turning to scowl at Heath. “You have to calm down. My nerves cannot take this.”
“You can forget about calm. You’re carr
ying my baby. That ship has officially sailed,” he smarted back.
“You get back in bed while I grab an ultrasound cart.” That order had come from the doctor.
I apparently didn’t obey fast enough, because Heath started herding me to the bed.
Grabbing a chair from the corner and dragging it over, he ordered, “Pull your dress up.”
“It’s not a dress. It’s a hospital gown, Heath,” I snapped because, really, my nerves were shot.
I was beyond frustrated. However, it all melted away as I felt his hand land on my stomach. His touch was gentle but his finger flexed, biting into my flesh.
“Oh, Jesus,” he whispered.
Only then did I notice the tiniest tremble of his hand.
“Talk to me,” I urged, covering his hand with mine.
He cleared his throat. “If anything happened because of him…” He shook his head as he trailed off.
I intertwined our fingers. “Then we’ll deal.”
“Fuck. I don’t want to deal,” he growled. “Not about my child. I want everything to be okay.”
And God, I wanted that too, but life didn’t always work like that.
But, then again, as I stared down at the nervous man I didn’t deserve but was selfishly going to keep for the rest of my life, I realized that, sometimes, it did.
We sat in silence until the doctor came back in with an ultrasound machine and a nurse.
I giggled at Heath’s appalled face as the doctor prepared the internal ultrasound wand.
And then, minutes later, we both gasped as a whooshing sound flooded the room. Tears pricked my lids as I witnessed my rock, big, tough Heath Light’s eyes become watery too.
“Is it okay?” he asked urgently.
The doctor kept his eyes on the screen but smiled. “It’s got a strong heartbeat.”
I laughed, and the tears finally escaped.
Heath rocked in his chair, muttering, “Oh Jesus.”
I laughed even louder and squeezed his hand.
The doctor finished up and then turned to face us both. “I’m going to send you over to ultrasound for a full workup, but as far as I can tell, everything looks good. I’d put you at around nine weeks, but they can give you a better estimate on your due date over there.”
“Nine weeks?” Heath exclaimed then raked a hand through his hair. “Oh Jesus.”
I laughed again.
“I’ll give you two a minute alone. I’ll be back shortly to finish my exam on the rest of your injuries.”
“That’d be great. Thanks,” I said, sitting up and pulling the blanket over my lower half.
Heath remained frozen at my side. His face filled with so many emotions that it was almost unreadable.
“You have to talk to me, honey.”
“How the hell am I going to ever relax with you pregnant? And, if it’s another girl… Oh Jesus.”
“Should I chase down the doctor and see if he’ll give you that shot of sedative?” I teased weakly.
He grunted something that sounded like a laugh, but he went back to staring off into space.
I decided to take a move from his playbook. It had always worked so well for me.
“What do you need, Heath?”
His gaze bounced to me, and a familiar grin pulled at the side of his mouth as he replied, “You.”
“Then get over here and take it.” I smiled, lifting the sheet in invitation.
It was an offer he did not refuse. His large frame barely fit in the small bed, but he wound his arms around me and held me to his chest.
“You’re having my baby,” he murmured reverently against my temple.
I was.
It was the most perfect moment of my entire life.
Well…almost.
There was a short knock at the door before it swung open and our girl came running in.
“Mama!”
“Hey, sweetie,” I choked.
Heath sat up and scooped her up off the floor, placing her in my arms before dragging us both back down to the cramped bed.
My body was aching. I had a little girl’s knee in my ribs and my head resting awkwardly on Heath’s elbow.
But, on the flipside, I was alive. Free. My little girl was safe in my arms, a baby safe in my stomach, and the man who had made it all possible holding me safe in his arms.
That was the most perfect moment of my entire life.
Well…almost.
“Heaf, move! You too big!” Tessa complained, squirming between us.
“Son of a…” Heath grunted as her foot caught him in the balls.
I stifled a laugh as I lifted my head to see over Tessa. “You okay, honey?”
He shook his head and coughed out, “Never been better.”
And, even as he writhed in pain, I knew he was telling the truth.
“Wake up, baby,” I murmured, sweeping her long, blond hair off her face.
We were still up at the hospital, and even though a night had passed since I’d seen her running out of Noir’s house, my pulse had yet to return to normal. I wasn’t sure it ever would.
I hadn’t thought that anything could ever be more terrifying than finding Elisabeth on the bathroom floor after Noir had put a bullet in her Rubicon vest.
But, when I’d found out she was missing and once again in the hands of a lunatic, a terror rooted so deep inside me that I knew I’d been permanently changed.
There was no recovering from something like that.
But all I could do was make sure she did.
When we’d gotten to the hospital, Elisabeth had been a wreck—understandably so. After two hours of me trying to comfort her, Clare, Heath, and Tessa had stopped by. They’d hugged and cried as it seemed Elisabeth and Clare did all too often when they were together. But, within minutes, as Tessa sat in her lap, pressing buttons on the hospital bed, while Clare sat close beside them, I saw Elisabeth smile.
And, finally, the pressure in my chest started to ease.
I’d died a thousand deaths over the last few months.
But, with Walter Noir in a body bag, it felt like we could finally take the first step on the road to recovery.
And, for me, that first step was finishing what I’d started years earlier.
I pressed my lips to her forehead then sat on the edge of the bed and repeated, “Wake up, baby.”
She moaned sleepily, stretching her body before curling around me. “Mmm,” she purred.
“I’ve got a surprise for you, but I need you to wake up.”
“If it’s hospital food, I’d rather sleep. The nurses were in and out all night.”
She was not wrong. Thanks to Clare, Elisabeth hadn’t sustained any substantial injuries during her ordeal. The doctor had only kept her overnight for observation as a precautionary measure. Thankfully, the nursing staff seemed to have missed that memo. It was usually my job to be overprotective when it came to Elisabeth. It was nice to finally have a team at my back. She argued with me about damn near everything, but she was too polite to argue with them. So I’d gotten to sit back and watch them do my dirty work.
“The doctor will be around in a little while to sign your release papers, but first, we have to take care of something.”
She pried one eye open. “What kind of something?”
I smiled and ran my finger through her hair. “Making you Elisabeth Leblanc—with an S and a lowercase B—again.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “What?”
“Reverend,” I called over my shoulder.
“What?” she repeated louder, sitting up.
“Ms. Keller,” the hospital chaplain greeted from the doorway, a Bible tucked in his hands in front of him.
“I’m sorry. Who are you?” Elisabeth said in a sugary-sweet tone before turning an angry scowl on me.
“I’m Reverend Potter. I understand you’d like to get married today?”
She blinked once.
Twice.
Thrice.
And then she o
pened her mouth to speak only to close it and blink again.
Closing her eyes, she shook her head and said, “Can you give us a minute, Reverend Potter?”
“Of course,” he replied, backing out of the room.
I remained impassive, sitting on the side of the bed. I knew what was to come. I also knew how’d it end. And that was the only part I cared about.
“Roman,” she started in the faux calm she used so often right before she lost it.
“Lissy,” I purred back in a real calm I used so often when I knew she was gearing up for an explosion.
“Why is there a reverend in my hospital room at six thirty in the morning?” More of her faux calm.
“Well, I didn’t expect him to be here at six thirty, but I guess you get VIP treatment when you donate two hundred thousand dollars to the hospital chapel.” More of my real calm.
Tick.
Tick.
Boom!
“Two hundred thousand dollars?” she accused. “What the hell, Roman!”
“Calm down. It’s not a big deal. I needed a last-minute chaplain. Besides, I can write it off on my taxes.”
“Your taxes?” she scoffed. “You think I’m concerned about your tax shelters right now?”
So fast that she didn’t have time to react, I thrust a hand into the back of her hair and then I hauled her toward me until our mouths were less than an inch apart. Her breathing sped, and her eyes flashed wide. I rued the day she’d lose that heated surprise every time I got close. The way her mind fought the attraction but her body melted at the first touch.
I nipped at her bottom lip. “I figured it had to be the money because I know you couldn’t be upset about becoming my wife again.”
“This isn’t the right time,” she whispered, her attitude already fading.
“No. It’s the perfect time,” I replied. “I could have lost you yesterday, Lis. I never would have recovered knowing all of the memories I missed out on with you. I wasted two years I could have been waking up with you. Holding you. Living at your side. Two fucking years I can never get back. Two years I will regret for the rest of my life. Two years I will spend a lifetime trying to make up for. And the first step in that is not wasting another second without you being my wife. This is a new day. And we’re starting a new life. When we walk out of this hospital, we’re doing it together—the way we were made to be. Marry me, Lissy. Right here. Right now.”