by Ashley Croft
Molly sighed. ‘I’m not sure anyone will ever be made for each other, even with the Love Bug’s help. I’m not sure we should even try to do it …’
‘You don’t mean that. But are you sure about his wife being back?’
‘I don’t know for certain. He looks like hell … I suppose I should talk to him about Anna but to be honest I’m dreading what I might hear.’
‘Oh, hon. You must be brave and talk to him. Look what happened after I spoke to Niall about the baby …’
‘That was different. I’m so happy everything’s OK for you and Niall and the Bump.’
Sarah heaved a sigh. ‘Yes … I don’t know what … My God, is that who I think it is?’
Sarah tugged Molly’s jacket. ‘There over by the entrance to the open-air pool. It’s Ewan.’
‘What?’
‘Is that her? His wife?’ Sarah pointed at a petite woman with a ponytail standing by the pool a little way down the towpath. Ewan was holding her hand.
‘I don’t know. It must be. Quick, let’s hide. I don’t want him to see me.’
‘Not easy to hide,’ said Sarah looking at her bump but Molly pulled her under the fronds of a willow on the bank. They hung around in the leaves while Ewan and Anna walked past. They weren’t holding hands anymore and were talking too far away for Sarah and Molly to hear what was being said.
‘That’s it, then,’ said Molly gloomily after Ewan and Anna had disappeared by the side of the bridge towards town.
‘You have to talk to him.’
‘Right now, I don’t want to.’
‘Molly, you have to be brave. Confront him. We all have to be honest from now on, even if we hear stuff we don’t want to. Talk to him. Right?’
Molly nodded. ‘I’ll do as you say but whatever happens to me, at least your life’s back on course.’
It was dusk when Niall came home. They ate dinner and Sarah went to bed early, leaving him watching a Jason Statham film because he had the next day off. She tried to read a Parent and Baby magazine and practise her deep-breathing exercises but nothing helped.
She must have fallen asleep because when she came downstairs the next morning, Niall was crunching toast at the table over a copy of the Sun.
‘Morning.’ He kissed the top of her head and handed her a mug. ‘Have you thought any more about getting an engagement ring?’
Sarah felt sick. ‘Not yet.’
‘I don’t want to rush you but I think we should do it. We could go into town this morning, babe.’
‘I don’t know. I’m so busy with commissions. It’s prime wedding season.’
‘Busy? Too busy for choosing a ring and planning our wedding? Come on, Sarah, what’s holding you back? If you feel you can’t trust me, I swear on our baby’s life that I will never let you down again. You do believe me, don’t you?’ He was pleading and Sarah told herself not to be such a coward.
‘I believe … I believe that you really believe that you won’t let me down again.’
‘What? What’s that supposed to mean? I love you, and I can’t think of a better way to prove it than to ask you to marry me.’
‘Proving you love someone takes a lot more than putting a ring on their finger. It takes time.’
‘Well, for feck’s sake, I can’t see into the future. I don’t know what else I can do.’
‘I think,’ said Sarah slowly, ‘I think that I need to spend some time on my own.’ Even though every word was agony, Sarah knew she was doing the right thing. For her, her baby and ultimately, for Niall. She didn’t love him in the way she had but she loved him enough to be honest with him.
Niall screwed up his face in disbelief. ‘What?’
‘I think I should be on my own for a while, with the baby.’
‘What are you trying to say? That you want to leave me?’
‘I want you to move out, Ni, and after the baby’s born, I want to put the cottage back on the market.’
He jumped up, holding his head in his hands. ‘You can’t be serious? You were desperate for me to come back, you were feckin’ devastated when I left. Don’t try and hide it. I knew it. Vanessa knew it. You’d have done anything to get me back.’
‘Not anything – and I couldn’t care less what Vanessa thought.’ Niall stared at her. Her heart literally ached at the shock and misery on his face. She hated to hurt anyone that much; the responsibility of having that much power over any human being – the power to deal the cruellest blow to them – was horrible. He’d lost everything when he thought he had it all. She knew exactly how he felt.
‘You can see the baby as much as you want. I want you to be part of her life,’ she said gently.
‘Well, thanks a lot!’
‘Niall, I know it’s hard but I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I’m really really sorry it hasn’t worked out for us.’
‘Jesus. Is it him? Is it that Liam? I knew he was a tosser, sniffing around, after you.’
‘No, it’s not Liam,’ said Sarah, horrified at the way Niall was unravelling before her eyes.
‘I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it. I’m going around to his bloody big office now to sort him out.’
He grabbed the car keys.
‘It’s nothing to do with Liam. Don’t be stupid.’
Ignoring her, Niall rushed out of the kitchen and the front door slammed so hard, the walls shook.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Molly wheeled her bike next to Sarah as they walked along the Backs causeway towards the city centre. Sarah was wearing a pretty tunic that showed off her growing bump. Her hair was thick and shining. Molly thought she had never looked more beautiful, despite the dark smudges under her eyes. Sarah hadn’t been sleeping well since her split from Niall a few days before but despite the bump, there was also something lighter in the way she walked, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
They stopped on the bridge over the river. Punts glided beneath them and the brown water was scattered with blossom. Ducklings trailed behind their mums, making Molly think of her new niece or nephew. Perhaps, now, despite all the pain, they could look forward to the event with joy and pleasure.
For a while, they watched the boatloads of tourists and listened to the laughter and popping of corks from students who had finished their exams.
Sarah turned to her, regret in her eyes. ‘Are you angry with me for causing so much trouble?’
‘Why would I be angry?’ Molly replied. ‘You’ve done what you thought was right, what’s in your heart. It must have been tough to tell Niall you wanted to split up.’
‘It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. No matter what’s happened between us, and although there have been times when I wanted him to hurt like I did when he left me … in the end, I hated telling him. It cut me like a knife.’
‘What happened at Liam’s office?’ she asked.
‘Niall ranted for a while but he calmed down eventually. I was so worried he’d start a fight but Liam quietened him down.’
‘Is Ni still staying at his mum’s?’
‘Yes. She’s very upset too. She called me and said I was being a selfish cow not to stay with Niall for the sake of the baby. It was horrible.’
‘I’ll bet, but Niall’s mum hasn’t got to spend the rest of her life with him.’
Sarah gazed out over the river. ‘Have I done the right thing, Mol? I wondered if I should have given it longer before I told him how I felt. I wondered if time might make a difference …’
‘Or it might just have prolonged his agony.’
‘Yes. I suppose so. Living a lie would only have made things worse.’
‘So you are moving out of the cottage?’ said Molly.
Sarah nodded. ‘Yes. After the baby’s born. It’s too much to try and move out now but after that we’ll have to find somewhere else.’
‘You’re always welcome at mine.’ Molly smiled and pointed at the bump. ‘Both of you.’
‘Th
anks, hon, but won’t Ewan have something to say about that?’
‘I don’t care. It’s none of Ewan’s business. We’re still not sharing a bed at the moment.’
Sarah winced. ‘Is his wife definitely back with him?’
‘I don’t know for certain but I think so, judging by the rumours and the fact he’s hardly been in the lab. He’s taken a few days off.’
‘Why don’t you ask him straight out?’
‘I want to call him but not if Anna is there. I’m done with chasing a lost cause and it’s up to him to tell me what’s happening between us, not for me to go after him.’ And Molly didn’t want to face up to the truth.
‘I don’t blame you but do speak to him. Be brave, Mol, it’s the only way.’
‘I will. I promise.’
But Molly didn’t. She went back to work and sat at her desk in the office, staring out of the window. Blossom had drifted from the trees and hedges onto the statue of Isaac Newton, giving him a very fetching pink and white hat. While she tried to focus on all the positive things about her life at the moment and remind herself how great it was to be alive, a pigeon landed on the statue’s head and pooped all over his face.
She returned to her computer screen, thinking over Sarah’s advice. Perhaps the near disaster with the Love Bug had helped Sarah realise that she could live without Niall. It had definitely tested her feelings for Ewan and his for her – but she still didn’t know where she stood. Sarah was right. She knew she had to confront him, but she hated the idea of walking into some shitty embarrassing love triangle. And even if she had the wrong end of the stick about Ewan’s wife, there was still the small question of him taking the job in Switzerland.
She returned to reading through some new papers on primate bonding while she waited for the results of her latest test to be processed. She had to stop mooning about and get some work done. Ewan was right about one thing: relationships did distract you from your work.
‘You must be Molly.’
Molly glanced up to find a woman smiling at her.
‘I’m Anna Baxter, Ewan’s wife.’
I know, thought Molly, her heart beating hard. Anna wasn’t wearing a security lanyard. She wondered how she’d got into the lab.
‘Actually, it’s Dr Baxter,’ said Anna, coming further into the office. ‘You are Molly I presume?’
The hairs on the back of Molly’s neck prickled and she looked around for Ewan but there was no sign of him.
‘Yes, I am but … where’s Ewan?’
Anna shrugged. ‘No idea. At home, I suppose.’
‘You mean he doesn’t know you’re here.’
Anna sat in Ewan’s desk chair. ‘I don’t really care. Mm. This is a nice cosy office you two have here.’ She started to rifle through the papers on his desk.
Molly’s skin prickled and she thought about calling security. Her fingers itched to pick up the phone right now. ‘I don’t really think you should be here, Anna, without a pass.’
Anna snorted. ‘I don’t care, Molly. I take it you’re the girlfriend?’
‘I’m not his anything. We’re colleagues.’ Molly’s fingers crept towards the desk phone.
Anna laughed. ‘Oh, come on. We’re both adults. I know what’s been going on.’
‘Then you know more than me. Look, Anna, I think you should leave now. This isn’t the right place or time to talk about personal and private stuff.’
‘Oh, I think it’s the perfect place since Ewan likes to take his work home and vice versa.’ Anna picked up a mug that belonged to Ewan and rolled her eyes. ‘Did you buy him this?’
Molly glanced at the mug, which was actually from the paper towel supplier.
‘No.’ She stood up and tried to sound assertive and in control even though her stomach was turning over and her palms were sweaty. ‘I’d like you to leave my office, please.’
Anna shook her head and let out a sigh. ‘I don’t think I will until you tell me what it is about you that my husband finds so irresistible.’
Molly couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Husband? Even if I had any idea what you’re talking about, you’re not married to Ewan. You’re …’
‘Divorced? Actually, no.’ Anna positioned the mug carefully in the centre of Ewan’s desk.
‘Anna? What are you doing here?’
Ewan ran into the office. His face was red and he was breathing heavily. Molly’s shoulders sank in relief.
‘Ewan … I hope you don’t mind me dropping into your office. I have to say I’m not impressed by what I’ve found.’
‘That’s enough.’ Ewan glanced at Molly and back at Anna. He spoke softly. ‘Come on, let’s talk somewhere else.’ He took Anna’s arm.
She shook away his hand. ‘Get off me,’ she said. ‘I’ve every right to be here.’
‘This isn’t the best idea, Anna.’ Ewan let her go, but two of Molly’s colleagues must have heard the noise and were standing in the doorway.
‘Is everything OK in here, guys?’ one of the technicians asked, looking very worried. ‘Do you need us to call security?’
‘No!’ Ewan snapped then softened. ‘Thanks, but I’ll sort this out.’
Molly flashed her workmates a pleading look and they stayed outside the open door, watching. They were joined by one of the research associates from the adjoining office and a moment later, Molly heard Pete’s voice asking what was going on. Molly cringed as the audience grew.
‘Anna, you can’t do this here. Come on home,’ Ewan said gently.
She sneered. ‘No way. I bet you’d like to see me dragged off by security, wouldn’t you?’
‘No. I’d hate it but that’s what will happen if you don’t leave right now.’
‘What about you, then, Little Miss Angelic?’ Anna pointed at Molly.
Molly felt sick to the stomach. ‘I promise I wouldn’t like to see you thrown out of anywhere. Ewan’s right: go home and talk about this.’
Anna folded her arms. ‘I’m not leaving.’
‘But I am,’ said Molly. ‘I think it’s better if I do.’
‘Molly …’
‘Sorry, Ewan. You need to deal with this.’
Molly walked out of the office, feeling very shaky. Her colleagues stared at her and mouthed “wtf?” Ignoring them, she headed for the bathroom but behind her voices were raised even louder. Anna had changed tactics and was shouting, crying and begging Ewan to take her back. That thing in movies where the heroine is triumphant and delighted when the mad ex finally gets her comeuppance wasn’t true. In real life, it was embarrassing, distressing and not funny at all.
Molly took a few deep breaths and splashed her face with water before walking back into the corridor. To her great relief, she spotted Ewan, with his arm around Anna, leading her out of the office and through a fire door into the garden. A security guard followed them out. What a bloody god-awful mess. Molly steadied herself with a hand on the wall. She hadn’t thought Anna would hurt her for a moment but the scene that had been created would be the talk of the lab and Anna must be in terrible distress to barge in like that.
And Ewan was still married to her. Of course he was – but she’d assumed they were divorced …
With her head held high, Molly forced herself to walk back into her office. A few of her colleagues asked her if she was OK but most were too polite and contented themselves with sympathetic glances.
‘Molly?’ Pete spoke to her. ‘Anything I can do?’
‘Not now, Pete,’ she said haughtily, dying inside.
Despite the façade she knew that word would have spread round the department faster than an infectious disease. Everyone in the lab would soon be talking about the juicy love triangle involving Anna, Ewan and her.
She tried to do some work in the lab but she couldn’t help replaying the scene from earlier, the desperation on Anna’s face and voice. Here was Ewan hitting the roof because she’d told a white lie about the Love Bug – and yet he’d neglected to mention the fact t
hat he was still married. She remembered how much in love he’d been with his wife once. So in love and so devastated when it had gone wrong, that he’d broken down in tears in a meeting. While Anna was clearly upset and vindictive, Molly couldn’t help but wonder if she’d been the cause of putting the final nail in the coffin of a marriage that still had life in it. Did he still have strong feelings for Anna and was Molly only a distraction?
*
Molly was curled up in a chair trying to read a scientific paper on Neanderthal STDs, when Ewan buzzed the door of the flat. Unshaven and rumpled, he looked even worse than he had earlier in the lab. She braced herself for what she might hear: no matter how upsetting, she had to have things out with him.
‘How’s Anna?’ she asked as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.
‘Gone. Her sister came to fetch her. She’s agreed to see her GP and get some help.’
‘Oh no. I’m very sorry she’s unwell. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.’ Molly felt guilty.
‘Me neither but we’re going to support her through some treatment. You must have been wondering what the hell’s been going on …’
‘I decided it was up to you to tell me.’
He shoved his hands through his tangled hair. ‘She’s been living with this guy in London. The one she left me for – but that’s all gone tits up and he threw her out, the bastard. I don’t really know why he did it but she’s very down, understandably.’
‘Poor Anna,’ Molly said quietly and really meant it.
Ewan groaned. ‘You know, at one time I would have been ecstatic for them to split up. I prayed for it, and I don’t even believe in that stuff but now, well … it was just horrific to see Anna in bits. No matter what happened between us, I hated seeing how that shot hurt her. I’m sorry you were dragged into this, Molly, with the business at the lab.’
‘It’s OK. I can stand a few whispers and snarky looks … but is Anna right? You’re still married to her?’
‘Yes. People just assumed that we were divorced and I thought it was none of their business and why the fuck should I talk about it anyway? I know I said Anna was my ex and she is but I can understand I should have been more honest about the technicalities.’