“I want this. Me and you,” she whispers.
“Me, too.” My mind is racing. I may be older than this woman, but she makes me want to jump up and tell the whole damn world that she’s mine. To act out of my character. Silly, goofy, and wildly in love.
This incredible human who has been through hell herself is on her way to destroying my fears and demons without even knowing it.
46
Amelia
I’m scared out of my mind. Every part of me is shaking. Dread fills my veins. Worry anchors my heart. And if I didn’t know for sure that Zeke loved me, I would run right back to the streets and hide or beg someone to fill those veins with the poison to drag me under. To make me forget that I’m in love with a man who packed up our picnic, grabbed hold of my hand, and tugged me behind him after we sat in silence watching the sun go down. It was a beautiful sight. Almost as perfect as hearing him say he loved me back. The way the dark orange sank into the ocean, causing sparks to fly and shades of red to float effortlessly across the sky. I’m going to paint that scene in my new room. Give it to Zeke. Because just like he said I’ve giving him everything, he’s given me more.
The will to survive. The knowledge that I can love myself. I can be free. Do anything I set my heart on and not have to worry out of fear someone is going to say or do something to stop me.
I’m nervous with excitement and dreading at the same time what I know is coming. Sex. It’s always been dirty to me, and I can’t seem to wrap my thoughts around how beautiful this is going to be.
“We’re home,” Zeke announces.
I open my eyes. Blinking rapidly. My thoughts are weighing heavily. I try and swallow my fear, but it’s there. Lingering in the back of my mind. I’m bummed out. I had no idea I had missed the entire half-hour drive here.
“I love how you say ‘home.’” I open my door, step out, and he’s right there lifting me in his arms.
“It is your home. Don’t ever forget it. Can you push the button for the garage to go down? My hands are kind of full with the most precious thing I’ve brought into this house.”
My God, his words swoon me. He’s a dream come true. A fantasy I’ve had since I was a little girl who found out she was different than a boy. Never did I expect to fall in love with the man who saved my life. Who made me open my eyes to a world full of color when all it’s ever been was the deepest, darkest shade of raven black.
“I want you, Amelia. All of you.” He lays me down on the bed. Those deep eyes are blazing a new kind of fire behind them.
“I want you, too.”
“I won’t hurt you. Just like the other times we’ve fooled around. If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so.” I nod, knowing I won’t stop him.
My words seem to be stuck in the back of my throat along with fear and dread. My breath, though, it escapes out of me in a whoosh when Zeke lifts his T-shirt over his head, undoes his shorts, and exposes his entire God-given body to me. He’s not one bit ashamed, and he shouldn’t be. It’s a temple of perfection. Everything solid, defined, and hard. I mean, everything.
I take my time studying, cherishing, and memorizing everything about this moment. The sight before me as well as the mixture of emotions racing through me, ranging from delightful happiness to sheer terror. I place them all in the same box of reminders of how all my days are coming full circle. This is living. Feeling. I’m thankful to be alive.
“Are you okay?” His voice is deep and husky, filled with a desire that sets me on fire.
I nod, unable to speak, not wanting to curse the magic of the moment.
“You have to talk, baby girl.”
I shake my head from side to side then crook up a finger telling him to come closer. He thinks about it for a moment but must sense the determination in my eyes. Just like on the beach when we watched the sunset, I spread my legs so he can settle between them.
The feel of his flesh on my thin shirt sizzles. Not even layers can even keep us apart. We have a habit of peeling back all those different layers until we find each other’s core.
I whisper in his ear, “I don’t want to talk. I need to remember all of this. The feel of you, the sight of you, and the smell. I need it all, Zeke.”
He pulls his head up with a look in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. It’s as if he can sense that in a way, this is the first time for me. And it is. It’s the first time my clear mind has wanted a man to make love to me.
He presses his body into mine. Passion ignites down to the depths of my bones. Bringing in new emotions, happy ones, and eliminating all my fear. My body starts screaming that this can’t happen fast enough, while my mind wants it to slow down in order to remember every single touch.
Zeke’s heart thumps rapidly against my chest. When he pulls back, I feel naked even though I’m fully dressed.
My shorts and panties are pulled down in one swoop. Zeke’s broad shoulders brushing the inside of my thighs. I feel his breath on my throbbing core then his lips delicately kissing me. Fingers drag through my folds, causing me to buck up, silently asking for more.
He answers by sliding a finger inside me, his mouth sucking hard on my clit. I choke on my own emotions and desire that erupt inside of me. He circles his tongue around my nub, driving me insane until my back is bending, my voice is shattering, and everything inside of me falls into a drop zone of unknown territory.
I’m screaming out my favorite and most treasured word in the English vocabulary. Zeke.
He crawls back up my body until we are face-to-face again. His lips hovering above mine.
“I’m a greedy man, Bluebird. Your taste is so addictive and sweet. Get used to my face being in between those sexy little thighs.”
I know exactly what he means. I feel the same way about him.
Reaching up, I seal our lips together, drinking my taste. I’ve never experienced anything as erotic in all my life. I push up on his shoulders only smiling when Zeke sits up with no question or panic in his eyes.
“I want to explore,” I say breathlessly while pulling my T-shirt over my head. Then unclasping and sliding the straps down on my bra. I toss them aside, while Zeke flips onto his back and takes the last bit of breath out of my lungs with his manly beauty.
I never thought sex or any act associated with it would make me feel powerful instead of a victim. Zeke has given that to me. I mimic his actions from moments before, crawling down his body until I’m nestled between his thick thighs.
My hand wraps confidently around the base of his cock. Zeke jerks upright, throwing his head back, letting out a growl. The simple act sends pride through my veins, giving me the courage to move forward. My tongue darts out, licking from head to base and back up again. His dick is pulsing in my hands. My cheeks flame bright red with excitement.
I need to have him in my mouth.
I wrap my lips around him, taking him deep in my throat, my teeth lightly grazing. The melody of his groans and grunts power me on until I’m sucking him hard from base to tip over and over until I see his stomach contract. His head lifts and his dark, haze-filled eyes lock onto mine.
I reach up searching for one of his hands, and once I find one, I guide it to my hair.
Zeke follows my silent instruction, tangling both of his hands in my hair, guiding my pace.
“Teeth,” he growls. “Teeth.”
I skim my teeth up and down his silky, rock-hard shaft, going from grazing to nipping to sucking.
“Amelia.” Zeke pulls me from my world, his cock dropping from my mouth. I want to pout, except when I’m face-to-face with him, his next words that leave his mouth have me beginning to shake inside.
“Want to come while inside you.”
Even though I’m not standing, those words make my knees go weak.
He pulls me up further until he’s able to capture one of my nipples in his mouth. He sinks his teeth around the sensitive bud. My hips roll against his pubic bone, getting just enough friction to feel another b
uild-up inside of me ready to explode. I’ve never come so hard in my life as I do with him. The truth is, it’s been so long since I honestly have. The way he touches me soothes me and makes me feel as if I’m the most important person in the world. He makes me soar.
Zeke moves to my other nipple, talking before he pulls it in his sexy mouth. “There’s nothing more than me wanting to be bare inside you, feeling your pussy gripping my dick. We are going to have to use a condom this time.”
I nod, gazing down at him as he wraps those lips around my nipple, feeling his cock slide up and down my ass. I pull back before all of this sends me straight into another orgasm, because I want the next one to be when he’s making love to me. I roll off him and lie on my back.
Zeke reaches over to his nightstand pulling out a condom. His pulse fluttering out of control in his neck. He tears it open quickly and settles on his knees between my spread legs. I grow wetter watching him stroke his cock before rolling on the condom.
“Zeke,” I whisper, not wanting my past to taunt this moment, but it’s the right thing to do. “I’m sterile.”
He snaps his attention to me, concern in his eyes.
“I fell pregnant, and my stepdad took me to his office had some of his buddies come in and perform an abortion, then they told me they made sure I was sterile to avoid any further fuck-ups.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, feeling my chest grow lighter with the admission, but the entire weight of the world is settling on my shoulders. He’ll never want me now. Who would?
“Gonna be real blunt right here, Amelia.” He cups my face, forcing me to look up at him. “I know everything. They were playing fucking head games with you. You have all your reproduction organs. When you were in the hospital, we had to run tests. Baby, the only thing you walked out of there without was knowing that I was falling for you back then. You can be someone’s mother. When that day comes, he or she will turn into beauty like everything you touch.”
“You know?” I whisper.
“Please don’t be mad.” He kisses me deep and hard like it might be his last time. “I overheard you telling Ronan one day.” He winces.
“Why didn’t you run then?” I ask.
“Because I was falling in love with and no smart man would ever run from that. Even if you couldn’t have kids, I would still be right here, Amelia. Right the fuck here.”
“I love you,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him. I don’t know how I became so lucky.
“I don’t want them in this bed, Amelia. It’s just me and you in here. You get me?”
His movements are slow and deliberate as he removes my hands, lays me back down, and covers my body with his.
“Grab my cock, Bluebird.”
He stills when I reach down, grabbing him at the base.
“This is all for you. Always,” he whispers at my ear, kisses down my chin, and stares into my eyes. “Take charge, baby girl. I want you to guide my cock into you.”
I gulp. Then slowly thread him inside me. The man is very well endowed.
We both still when he’s deeply rooted. Filling me more than I ever thought imaginable. I want to squeeze my eyes shut. But I can’t. Not with this man on top of me for the first time, looking into my eyes and beginning to move slowly.
His lips graze mine, causing my entire body to quiver. I writhe underneath him, begging with my hips for him to move. It’s the sweetest torment I’ve ever experienced.
A live wire full of need races up my spine when he begins to move faster.
Goose bumps race over my skin. There’s a tug of war battling inside of me of one side wanting to release with Zeke deep inside of me, while the other side wants this to last forever. The freedom of the whole situation strikes me hard, allowing me to experience all of it. The gratification of moaning out his name while feeling an intimate connection with him takes over my body. I can’t breathe. And yet here I am with a man who wants me for me despite all my wrongdoings. All my insecurities and a lifetime of baggage that comes with it.
He loves me. I can feel it with every thrust, every groan. I feel it everywhere.
“Zeke, faster,” I beg. “Oh, God. Oh, God. Please.”
He groans into the side of my neck and then bites down on the sensitive flesh while he begins to pound into me. Each time he hits deep inside of me, the swell builds higher with waves that are bound to crash down.
“I’m there. Zeke. I’m there,” I rasp out so loudly I could wake the dead. In a way I have, or I should think we have. My heart has been dead for so long that I can feel it finally beating.
“Let go, Bluebird.”
His words send me over the edge. My world spins. All the darkness is gone, and a burst of light fills my vision as the wave crashes down on me hard. So hard that for a moment I’ve forgotten my name.
Zeke’s arms grow taut as he growls out his own pleasure. His dick thickening inside of me. He collapses on top of me taking in heavy gulps of air. I’m not pleased when he rolls off me, because I want him to stay there forever. I know he can’t. I just never knew sex could feel like that. That it would clear my mind as the time it clouded my vision. I throw my leg over his thigh and my arm across his chest. We lie there for long moments.
“Th…”
Abruptly, I cut myself off. There’s no need to thank him. We weren’t exchanging anything. The act was out of love.
I shake my head on his chest. “I love you, Zeke.”
He tilts his head down, kissing the top of my head. “Love you, too, Bluebird.”
The long moments of silence between us speak louder than any words can. Zeke moves first, getting out of bed to go clean up. He returns with two bottles of water and a mischievous grin on his face. It’s something I’ve come to detect quite easily with him. Funny how he used to be a stranger and now I can read him like an open book.
“What are you up to?” I ask, perching up on my elbows.
He places the bottles of water down on the nightstand next to us still in his naked and very glorious state.
“The truth?” he questions.
“Yes.”
“I think I need to get you on birth control, fast,” he replies
“I can make an appointment to get on the pill.” I smirk.
I bite down on my tongue, not spilling out the fact I’m clean, because let’s face it, this man knows better than anyone else that I am. It may be the one tiny miracle in my life. It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact after the life I lead for so many years.
“I know a doctor.” He wags his eyebrows and then pounces on the bed, crawling underneath the sheet with me.
“You do?” I play along.
“Yes, he’s very smart and sexy.” He kisses my cheek. “But in all seriousness, I can write you a script for birth control if that’s something you’d be interested in.”
I don’t have to think twice about it. My answer spills from my lips. “Yes.”
“Yes?” he asks.
“Absolutely, yes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, yes. I want all of you, Zeke.”
He rolls me completely onto my back, his hard body coming along.
“A girl could get used to this, you know? Her guy taking care of her.”
“My girl should.”
He sneaks down my body, vanishing underneath the sheet.
I pick up the sheet and peer down. “What are you doing?”
“The doctor’s in the house, baby. Need to do an examination.” He kisses the inside of my thighs then nuzzles his nose lightly against my flesh.
“Zeke,” I squeal as he begins tickling the inside of my thighs.
“This is serious business. You need to hold still.”
I get my full examination, all right. With teeth, tongue, and fingers.
47
Zeke
“She’s not ready to talk about her family, Saxon. Until I feel she is, I’m not asking. Neither are you.”
Jesus. If I didn’t want those fuckers bur
ied, I would say fuck this search for these people. I know I won’t rest peacefully until I have the word they are dead. Dicks cut off and shoved down their throats, then tossed out to sea will be a sufficient enough death for me.
“I get that, brother. But what the fuck do you want me to do? You're sitting here telling me you're in love with her and you haven’t the balls to find out where these fuckers are? On top of that, you haven’t even filled me in as to why you want them dead. I’ve backed off from asking you, because I see how much she means to you, but fuck, man. Give me something here.”
I’m beginning to fucking snap. I get why he’s asking. He’s been riding my ass to tell him for the past week. The one constant thing that’s been dragging me down when everything else happening in my life is lifting me up.
Amelia and I have reached an entirely new level in our relationship. I won’t lie to anyone, not even myself. I can’t keep my hands off her. It’s nearly impossible to try. The woman has completely unmanned me, and I couldn’t give a fuck if she carries my balls around in her hands.
I’ve never been one to talk much after sex. I mean, what’s the point when both of you know you're never going to see each other again, or it’s plain to see all you both want is sex. The only two people I’ve ever talked to or slept with more than a few times are Marissa and Daniella, and they were clearly out of convenience. So, for me to be vastly interested in every word that comes out of Amelia’s beautiful mouth is proof that she’s it for me. And God, does she love to talk. It’s as if she’s blossomed the way I wanted her to overnight. It’s exhilarating and frightening at the same damn time.
“You gonna sit there and daydream or answer my Goddamn question? I know you have Katch looking for her family, brother, but more details are needed,” he states. Loudly and rudely.
“Lower your voice, asshole,” I seethe.
I’m pissed off over a shit ton more than him hounding my ass. I do not appreciate him calling me and asking to meet him outside the same restaurant where Amelia was attacked. I mean, what the fuck? I would much rather be home right now. Although Amelia isn’t there. She went to spend the night with Renee. Girls’ night. She misses her, and I get it. I also get that both of them are worried about Zoe. I am, too. When I asked Amelia a couple of weeks ago if she thought something was going with Zoe, she simply shrugged. Told me at times she thinks there is and other times she thinks that’s simply Zoe. Amelia loves her but claims she’s sort of flighty. Now, for whatever reason, Zoe has canceled once for coffee and another time to go shopping with Amelia. Which has Amelia worried. So yeah, this bullshit trip down here does not sit well with me at all.
When Opposites Collide Boxset Page 36