He gets up now. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure that you know I’m not going anywhere.” He kisses my hands. “Knowing that you have this fear breaks me. I want to put all your pieces back together again. Let me be your glue.” He kisses me. “Let me be the one who puts you together again.” I don’t have to answer him because he picks me up and carries me to my bedroom, holding me the whole time.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ethan
“Why are you crying?” I ask when she walks into the house on the last day of school. I walk to her and take her in my arms as she quietly sobs. “Sunrise,” I say, kissing her head. I had just finished in the shower when she walked in. Slowly, over the past four days, I’ve been leaving a lot more of my things here. I don’t have much stuff anyway, but most of it is here now.
“I’m going to miss them so much,” she says, and I get it now. It was the last day of school for her, and half of the students that she teaches are graduating. It’s been four days since we’ve woken up together, four days that I’ve made her dinner every single night. Four days of surprising her with a birthday surprise.
“It’s going to be okay,” I say. “You get to see them all tomorrow at the carnival.”
“What is going on here?” She finally looks around and notices all the balloons all over the place. “It’s the fourth birthday I missed.” She puts her hands to her mouth as she looks around, seeing a hundred balloons that I had delivered. “Oh my god,” she says, seeing the box on the table. “What in the world?”
“This is your fourth birthday gift,” I say when she walks to the table. I wrapped it with white wrapping paper, and there is a big pink bow on it. “Open it.” I smile at her, and she just looks at me. Her blue eyes light up now so much that I have no choice but to lean over and kiss her neck. She waits for me to stop kissing her before slipping the bow off and ripping open the paper. The box she gave me not too long ago sits in front of her. She looks at the box, knowing it’s hers and then looks at me. “Open it.”
She slides open the box except this time, it’s different. She picks up the shirt and brings it to her nose. “You washed it?” She laughs and cries at the same time. “I haven’t washed this in five years.”
“I know,” I say, and she throws her head back, laughing while she holds the shirt to her chest.
She puts the shirt down next to the box and takes out the first frame with a picture of us on the beach. “You put it in a frame.” She smiles through the tears, and then she takes the other one out. “You put them all in a frame.”
“I did,” I say. “I thought we could put them up around the house instead of keeping them in a box.”
She puts the picture down and then walks away to her bedroom, and I stand here in the kitchen waiting for her. She comes back with another frame, and I smile at her. It’s the picture I’ve kept in my wallet the whole time. “This one I want to keep by the bed.” She shows me. “And this one.” She picks up the one of both of us on the beach. “This should go on the mantel.”
“I like that,” I say, and that night, she cooks side by side with me. It takes longer than it should, but every time she comes close to me, I have to stop and kiss her. I often wake in the middle of the night, afraid I’m going to have a nightmare and scare her. When I see her lying there, I just have to touch her.
That night, we slip into bed, and I get lost in her, her kisses, her touch, everything about her. We’ve been good about going slow, and I refuse to push her. She’ll have to be the one to take that next step.
I’m making her tea the next morning when she slips her arms around my waist and kisses my back. “Good morning,” she mumbles. “When did you get up?”
“About an hour ago,” I say, looking at the clock. “I was just coming to wake you. What time do we need to be at the carnival?”
“In about an hour,” she says, going to the counter. “There are so many balloons,” she says, looking around. We carry our drinks outside and sit watching nothing, her feet in my lap. “How do you want to handle this?” She takes a sip of her tea and looks at me.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Us at the carnival.” Her eyes are on me. “Like, are we going to tell people we’re a couple, or do we keep it to ourselves?”
“If it was up to me, everyone would already know,” I say. “I don’t have anything to hide.”
“I don’t have anything to hide either, but,” she says, and my stomach drops, “I was just engaged and …”
“He’s dating someone else,” I say, “and he’s been seen with her more than once.”
“I know, but just because he’s like that doesn’t mean I have to be like that,” she says. It bugs the shit out of me that she doesn’t want people to know we are together, but I have to respect her. I don’t say anything to her, the conversation just stops, and when I slip on my blue jeans and gray shirt, I run my hands through my hair, and for the first time, it feels long. I walk out of the bedroom just in time to see her in blue cutoffs and a gray shirt tied at the waist.
“You ready?” I ask, and she slips on her white sneakers while I do the same. “Do you want me to meet you there, or do you want to take one car?”
“I know that you’re angry,” she says, standing and looks at me. “And I get it. But …”
“But nothing, Emily,” I say. I’m not angry, and I’m not mad. I’m disappointed, but I also know she is the one who is going to decide what happens in this relationship. I lost that right when I left. “I’ll just meet you there. That way, no one says anything.” I turn to walk out the door and feel like an asshole, but I’m stubborn enough not to turn around and go back to see if she is okay. Instead, I wait in my truck, seeing her come out with her head down as she walks to her car. She takes off without saying anything to me, and I drive right behind her, and when we pull up to the carnival, I’m shocked. This looks like the state fair and not just a school carnival. I get out of the truck and look over to see that she is already walking in. “Fuck,” I say under my breath, and before I can chase after her, I’m joined by Quinn, Keith, Toby, and Reed. “Boys,” I say to them, and they all smile at me. “This is insane.”
“Have you known my mother to do anything normal?” Reed says, and I just shake my head. “There are legit carnival games where you can win stuffed animals.”
“You know that this is the state fair, right?” Quinn says. “She called and begged them to come this weekend and paid for it.”
“I don’t even have a car,” Toby says. “I’m going to go and see if I can get Laura to ride the Ferris wheel with me.” He walks away to the group of girls that are waiting at the ticket booth.
We walk through the fair, and Reed was right. Olivia blew this shit up. There are so many people here that it’s hard to walk. I spot Beau and my mother walking along, hugging them both, and it bothers me that I’m not with Emily. It bothers me so much that I walk around the whole place looking for her. I finally catch her with her students, and she laughs at something one of them said.
I watch her, my chest full of love, and just as I knew she would, she feels me staring at her and turns to look around and spots me. She raises her hand this time and calls me over. I walk over to her. “Have fun, girls,” she tells them and then turns to walk my way. “Where have you been?”
“Around,” I say, wanting nothing more than to kiss her lips like I do at home.
“I’m sorry,” she says softly, and the wind comes now blowing her hair everywhere, and she turns to take it away from her face. “I didn’t know how to handle all of this. I let my fear get to me.”
“It’s okay,” I say, looking down myself. “I’m sorry for taking off and being a giant ass.”
She smiles and looks down now. “Do you want to walk with me?” she asks shyly, and I just smile.
“Lead the way,” I say, and she turns to walk. I walk next to her. “Did you go on any rides?” I ask, and she shakes her head. I’m about to ask her to go o
n a ride when I feel her fingers graze mine. I try not to think too much of it, but then her fingers slip in mine, and I look down at them.
“Are you sure?” I say with her hand in mine.
“I’m sure that I want to hold your hand,” she tells me. “I’m sure that my day will be better with you by my side.” She looks up, and it’s as if the seas part because when we both look up, we see Drew.
I’m expecting her to let my hand go, but she doesn’t, and it could be that she’s in shock. He’s there at the fair with a woman standing next to him, holding his hand. That isn’t what gets us, though. What shocks us, or maybe just me, is the little bump that the lady is definitely carrying. “Oh my god,” I mumble, trying to turn us the other way. Instead, we come face-to-face with them, and I know that eyes are on us. I take one look around to see that, but it also takes me that one look around to see my family closes in on us—Mom and Beau to the left, Casey and Olivia to the right. Standing right behind Drew and his girl are my father and Kallie. All my sisters and brothers are lingering close by, too.
“Well,” Drew says, smiling, and I want nothing more than to throat punch him. “Fancy meeting you guys here.”
“Fancy, my ass,” I say, laughing. “You knew she was going to be here.”
He looks at our joined hands. “Wow, that didn’t take you long,” he says, bitterly pointing at our hands.
“You can’t be serious right now,” Emily hisses, and I look over at the girl. She’s the total opposite of Emily. Her hair is bleached blond. Her fake eyelashes are on so thick I can’t even see her eyes. She wears a tight one-piece skirt with a flannel shirt tied under her belly.
“It’s a great turnout.” Drew ignores my question and then turns to his girl. “Baby,” he says, “this is Emily and Ethan.” The girl has no idea who we are, and I have to shake my head. “Guys, this is Mandie.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” She smiles at us and then looks at him.
“It’s good to put a face to the voice,” Emily says from beside me, and Mandie looks confused. “How long have you guys been together?” she asks her.
Mandie is quick to answer. “Almost eighteen months.”
At the same time, Drew says, “A couple of weeks.”
“Eighteen months!” Emily shouts out a bit too loud, and whoever wasn’t looking at this scene unfold is now looking. “Wow, definitely dodged that bullet.” She laughs and turns to me, then looks back and sees Mandie all confused.
“We were engaged,” she tells her. “Broke it off when he pocket dialed me banging you in the car.” I roll my lips when I see Drew turn red, and Mandie puts her hand on her stomach. “Well, if you’ll excuse us.” She looks up at me. “I’m in the mood for a funnel cake.”
I smile at her, being so brave and not letting this get to her. Knowing that everyone is watching, she is powering through. “Let’s go get you a funnel cake,” I say and then look at Drew and Mandie. “Congratulations on the baby.” I turn and walk away from them, and when I look over at her, she’s smiling. “Are you okay?” I ask almost in a whisper.
“I’m shocked,” she says honestly, then stops and looks at me. The noise of people talking is all around us. “I’m not going to lie. Fuck eighteen months.” She shakes her head. “He’s having a baby with someone. How was that going to work?”
“I have no idea,” I say, and she looks down and then up again. “We can go if you want.”
“Um, I want a funnel cake,” she says. “Then I want to ride the Ferris wheel.” She steps in a touch closer. “Where we can make out like we did the first time.” I smile at her, and she looks around. “Then you are going to win me a bear because that is what I want, and after that, I’m going home, and I’m going to unwrap my fifth birthday gift.” She winks at me.
“Sunrise,” I say. “I didn’t get you anything for your fifth birthday gift. I was going to …” I start to say, but she puts her finger over my mouth to stop me from talking.
She gets on her tippy toes. “You’re my present.” She tilts her head just a bit. “Now, give me a kiss and get me a funnel cake.” I don’t wait a second more before I push her hair away from her face and kiss her, letting everyone know I’m back, and she’s mine.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Emily
He kisses me, and I don’t even care. When he left the house, it hurt that I hurt him. I didn’t want him to ever feel like he didn’t mean anything to me or that we didn’t matter, so walking the carnival without him felt wrong. I kept looking for him, and finally when I saw him, I knew that I didn’t care what anyone said. All I knew is that I wanted him beside me.
I called him over, not thinking anything, and when I saw Drew with his girlfriend, who was pregnant, I waited for the hurt to hit me. I waited for my chest to feel tight, and the tears to come, but none of that happened, and I finally admitted to myself that I never really loved him like that. I walked away, holding Ethan’s hand, and I knew that the next step would be mine to make. I knew he was waiting for the green light, and it was time. I wanted all of him. I wanted to give him all of me.
“You taste like sugar,” he says softly against my lips. “You had a funnel cake already.”
“I did,” I admit. “But I wanted another one, and I wanted it with you.”
“I love you,” he says to me and turns to order me a funnel cake. Handing it to me, he grabs some napkins. We walk away and come face-to-face with most of his family. “Hey,” he says, looking around. “Thank you, guys,” he says now, and I look over at him, confused. “You guys saw what was going down, and you had my back.”
“Always,” Beau says to him, slapping him on the shoulder. “Now, does this mean you two are back together?”
“It means that I want her, and luckily for me, she wants me back,” he says, grabbing me around my shoulders. “Now if you all will excuse me, my girl wants to make out with me on the Ferris wheel.”
“That’s so gross,” Chelsea says while Amelia scrunches up her nose.
We walk away from them, and we get on the Ferris wheel. “Are you sure that you’re okay?” he asks when the wheel starts turning.
“I didn’t love him,” I admit. “Like I loved him as a person, but …” I don’t say anything else when I feel him put his arm around me, and his thumb rubs my arm up and down. “It’s you.” I look at him. “It’s always just been you.” I lean in and kiss him, my tongue sliding with his as he holds my face with his free hand.
We make out like a couple of teenagers, and when we get off the Ferris wheel, he walks over to a booth that has teddy bears. He wins me the teddy bear on the first try, too. I don’t know why I’m surprised, but when he hands it to me, I squeal and hug it to my chest. We walk around the fair holding hands. No one looks at us, and no one points at us. We’re just Emily and Ethan. He stops when he sees his brothers, and they challenge him to a shooting game. I just shake my head and watch him do his thing. The sun goes down, and the lights come on, and it’s just magical. It’s honestly the best day ever when he turns around and tosses me another bear while his brother asks for a rematch.
Seeing him rebuilding that bond he had with them so long ago makes it so much more. Knowing how far he’s come, I could not love him more. When we walk out of the carnival, he looks at me. “Are we leaving your car here or mine?”
“Why are we leaving any of the cars here?” I ask, and he looks around. “Amelia!” he calls out to his sister. “How did you get here?”
“Mom and Dad,” she says, and he grabs my keys. “Take Emily's car home. We’ll pick it up later.”
She laughs. “Later or tomorrow?”
“Monday.” He winks at her, then grabs my hand and drags me away from her.
“Oh my god,” I say, laughing, looking over at Amelia cringing. He gets me in the truck, and before I can even say anything, he is racing out of the parking lot. I laugh so hard when I look over at him. “Five years, Sunrise,” he says, and I lean over and kiss his neck, sucking in a little
bit. He groans, and I smile, knowing he can’t do anything because he’s driving.
“All week,” I tell him, whispering in his ear and then licking his lobe. “Lying by you, all I wanted to do was jump you.” My hand falls to his lap, and I cup his cock.
“Sunrise,” he hisses out between clenched teeth. “I am on the edge right now.”
“Why?” I ask, sucking in his lobe. “I want you,” I say, and I’m about to say something else when the truck comes to a stop. He’s out of his seat before I can look around. My door is ripped open, and he picks me up like a rag doll. My legs wrap around his waist as his mouth finds mine. His tongue fights with mine as he walks up to the front door. My hands are already ripping off his shirt as he pushes me into the door and attacks my neck. My back arches, and I hope to fuck he rips off my shirt soon. “Ethan,” I say his name as he attacks my neck.
His hand flies to my waist as my shirt rises, and I feel his hands on my body. Five years ago, they were soft. This time, they are rougher, and I need him to touch all of me. I don’t know how he does it, but the door opens, and we are inside. He walks straight to my bedroom and tosses me on the bed. I get up on my elbows in time to see him reach behind his head and pull his shirt over his head. At the same time, he kicks off his shoes.
“Last chance,” he says. I sit up, reaching out to unsnap his button. Taking off my shirt, I toss it with his discarded one, then kick off my shoes with his.
“I hope that answers your question,” I say, and his eyes change as he looks at me in my gray lacy bra.
“I pictured this moment,” he tells me, sliding his finger under my bra strap. “Every day.” He peels the strap off my shoulder. Leaning down, he moves the cup aside and takes my nipple into his mouth. I close my eyes as he rolls his tongue around and then he bites down like he knows I like it. My hand goes to his head as I moan out. “Fuck, still as responsive as the first time,” he says, going to the other side and pushing the cup aside to take the other nipple in his mouth.
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