by Tia Siren
“I can’t believe this!” She felt anxious and excited at the same time. Could her dream possibly have come true? She moved carefully down the stairs, completely unused to the layers she was now wearing and the high-heeled lace-up shoes she had never worn before. She giggled, thinking she would look like a clumsy fool. She straightened her back and when she stepped out of the stairwell, she tried her best not to look shocked by what was around her.
It was beautiful, grand and elegant. The furniture, the draperies, the walls, it was all so new and different from what she was used to. She tried not to stare around her at the taller ceilings, the bigger rooms. The renovations that her family had made over the years had completely transformed the home from what it had looked like.
She wondered what year it was. There were a few people wandering in the huge hallways and she glanced up at them as they passed, catching fleeting glimpses of them as they went by. They smiled at her but there was something in their smiles that made her pause. Their smiles weren’t in their eyes. They were like masks. She smiled back, noticing that hers was also not in her eyes. She didn’t know them. But they knew her. So why weren’t they genuinely smiling?
She went toward the music. It was a waltz. She didn’t recognize it.
One of the large double doors opened, and the music became louder. The gentleman who came through the door looked up at her and stopped, holding it open.
“Good evening, Miss Helen,” he said. “How are you feeling tonight?”
It was the first friendly face she had seen. She smiled at him. “I’m feeling good. How are you?”
“I’m doing well, also.” He bowed slightly, but she saw the changed look on his face. He was surprised. She wondered why. She lowered her head and passed him, entering a room that was filled with laughing, dancing, talking people. There were ladies in fine gowns all around her and men dressed to the nines. She looked down again to make sure she was dressed correctly and watched closely how the ladies around her were behaving. She saw a lot of flirting, but she saw a lot of haughtiness, as well. When the men looked at her, they had mixed reactions. She could see mostly negative looks. It unnerved her.
She pulled in a deep breath and swept into the crowd, picking up a fresh glass of wine as she moved. She wondered who she should approach and searched the faces for one that looked friendly like the man at the door. Most of the people were already involved in conversations and averted their gazes whenever she caught their eye. Finally, she spotted a young man and woman by a nearby table. They were waving frantically at her. She avoided bumping into a couple that swirled right next to her and hurried to join the waving couple.
“Helen! Helen, dear, where have you been?” The woman stood up and grabbed her shoulders, air kissing her left cheek and then her right. “We’ve been waiting ages for you to return! What were you doing?”
“Maybe she found a nice suitor in the hallway and decided to stop and have a chat!” The young man nodded at her. “How are you feeling now, Helen?”
“Oh, Richard!” the woman said. “You can be such a tease! Our Helen isn’t going to simply stop and chat with a strange man. Are you, Helen.”
“I’m sure I wouldn’t do that.” Eve tried to sound like the people around her. How would she ever fit in, knowing what she knew about the future? It was a good thing she had read so much about this time but even with her love for it, she was noticing a few negative things as well. The ballroom was extremely hot. She wondered how she would go to the bathroom with no running toilets anywhere. The large window doors that surrounded the ballroom were open, letting in a night breeze that was extremely refreshing.
“Have you lost your fan, Helen?” Richard asked. “You look a bit peaked.”
Eve nodded. “I have. I feel like I should go home. But…” She stopped. This was her home. She felt like an idiot and couldn’t escape the looks of confusion on her friend’s faces. She wished desperately that she knew the woman’s name and the names of all the people in the room. “I was wondering…” She lowered her voice and leaned toward the two of them. “Would you two like to play a little game?”
The confusion was taken over by surprise. Richard’s eyes widened, and he sat back. “A game? You want to play a game, Helen?”
Eve was beginning to think her ancestor had not had many friends and was not an outgoing person in the least. Perhaps that was why she never found love again after only one failed attempt.
“Yes.”
Richard looked at his companion with wide eyes. “Virginia, would you like to play a game?”
Virginia’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. Eve could tell her smile was real. “I would!”
“Wonderful!” Eve smiled at them both and sat back. “Let’s go around the room and you two tell me who you think I should dance with. I am having trouble with my own opinion. I would like to hear yours.”
“Who you want to dance with?”
“Oh Richard, you keep repeating what she’s saying! I think it sounds like a fun game! We should play!”
“But…” Richard shook his head. “I didn’t think you were interested in any of these men, Helen. You’ve talked to and danced with a number of them and had nothing but negative things to say of the experience.”
“Perhaps not,” Eve responded. “But that’s why I said I don’t trust my opinion and would like yours. Do you not have my best interests at heart?”
“Of course I do, cousin!” He responded, jolting her memory. One of the branches on her tree of the family held the name, Richard Webb. She assumed this was that cousin and smiled at him.
“Well, then, give me your opinion of these fine gentlemen we are surrounded by.”
Richard laughed. “Fine gentlemen! You are a laugh, dear cousin. All right, let’s play this game.”
He and Virginia sat forward, putting their elbows on the table and smiling wide. “Okay,” Eve turned and looked behind her. She pointed to a group of three men standing nearby. “Let’s start with them.”
Richard shook his finger in their direction, pointing each one out as he spoke. “You have no affection for Lord Sadler there, I know. What with his big bulging eyes and his groping hands.” She could tell which one he was talking about when one of the men turned to pick up a glass from the tray as the server passed him. His eyes were big, brown and bulging. She could tell why Helen had not been attracted. “Our fine gentleman,” He said the word sarcastically. “Lord Wentworth there, well, we all remember what happened when you danced with him.”
Eve couldn’t think of a good way to ask what had happened with Lord Wentworth, but she didn’t pursue it. If he said it like that, it couldn’t have been anything good.
“That’s for certain.” Virginia nodded, a disapproving look on her face. Eve was surprised but stayed quiet. Virginia looked at her, glancing at the three men. “And you can’t forget Lord Barnaby, either. He’s not the one for you. You nearly sank into the floor when he began to do that spinning dance for everyone, you know, the one he learned when he visiting Peru?”
Richard and Virginia burst out laughing, so Eve followed along. She was curious to see what this dance looked like. It had made quite an impression on her friends. She listened as her companions went around the room, pointing out various other gentlemen she had danced with.
“And here we have Lord Halley, look out, Helen, he’s right behind you, you might need to…”
Richard said the sentence very quickly but interrupted himself when Lord Halley was close enough hear them. “Hello, Lord Halley! How are you?”
The young man nodded at them and bowed to Helen. “Are you free to dance, Lady Helen?”
Eve was glad she had taken dancing lessons. There was no way she would know how to waltz otherwise. She stood up, and Richard stood up when she did. “You aren’t a little tired, are you, dear cousin?” Richard lowered his head and Eve could tell he was unhappy that she was considering the dance. She felt like he was telling her with his eyes that she shouldn’t go.
“I’ll be all right, Richard,” she said, nodding.
“But-“
“She said she’s all right, Lord Webb. Don’t worry, I will take good care of her.” The tone of Lord Halley’s voice made Eve hesitate. She wished a different gentleman had approached her, but she took the lord’s hand and moved onto the dance floor with him anyway.
“How are you tonight, Lady Helen?” He asked.
“I am well, Lord Halley,” she responded, instantly disliking how close he was to her and the fact that she was pressed up against him, spinning around the room in a dizzying fashion.
“Now, Helen, you know you may call me Thomas. We settled this before, didn’t we?” He smiled at her, and she noticed he was wavering a little, as though he’d had too much to drink.
“Oh, yes, I remember.”
Thomas laughed, throwing his head back and guffawing as if she had said something hilarious. She thought it was awkward and forced. “You are quite a handsome woman, Helen. We really should take a ride sometime. I have a fine carriage, you know. You would fit very comfortably in it. With me.” He gave her a sly smile. She felt a little sick to her stomach. Suddenly, she felt anxious and a little scared. This was not modern day. What would it be appropriate for her to do to get out of this situation? Surely the women didn’t have to put up with obnoxious men they didn’t want to be around. Did they?
Chapter Three
Eve suffered through the dance. It made her dizzy, and she felt slimy after Lord Halley’s hands had pawed all over her. She wanted to throw the dress away and never see it again, but she didn’t even know where her room was in this huge house to change and was worried if she did anything to the dress, she might not be able to return home. She wanted to return home.
She nodded to her cousin and Virginia upon returning to the table. “I…I am feeling out of sorts.”
“I am not surprised by that after having to dance with that man. I told you to say you were tired, Helen. You should have listened.”
Eve nodded at Richard. “I agree. I should have listened to you. What an obnoxious man!”
“You knew that already, my dear,” Virginia said, standing up. “You do look a bit off color. Shall I walk you to your room?”
“Oh, that would be lovely, Virginia, thank you.”
Virginia nodded and turned to Richard. “All right, I will be back in a few minutes, Richard. You behave yourself.”
“Yes, dear.”
The three laughed, and Virginia took her arm. “Your father is a dear for throwing this ball for you tonight, Helen,” she said as she led Eve away from the table and toward the doors. “He’s so generous to you and your sisters and your brother. You are truly lucky.”
“Oh? I’m glad to hear that.”
Virginia giggled. “What does that mean? You are acting so strange tonight, Helen. You don’t seem to be yourself.”
“And how exactly am I acting differently?” She asked.
“You are normally so quiet and not outgoing at all. What on earth made you think to play that game, naming off all your previous suitors and what you thought of them, looking for newcomers. Who are you, my dear?” Again Virginia laughed and Eve knew she wasn’t being serious.
“Perhaps I am tired of being quiet and spending time all by myself.”
“Oh? You have decided to join the rest of us in this world and really create a family for yourself? Leave your heartache behind?”
“I’m not sure. So far, I am not impressed with my life.”
“Well, I must say you haven’t made much of it so far.”
I just want to see Helen’s room, Eve thought to herself. Then I will go home. She can have this life. It’s not for me.
She’d come to the conclusion that reality was not quite like the books she had read. She was actually quite disappointed by it. She had hoped for chivalry, respect and all the delightful things she read about in her Jane Austin books. Right now, she just wanted to go back home and break up with her boyfriend and find someone new.
But first, she wanted to see more of the home she remembered so differently. She wanted to see her ancestor’s room, see her brushes, her hair barrettes, her pens and inks and writing papers. She let Virginia lead her, feigning exhaustion and a headache. Virginia stopped in front of the door to the room that was across from what Eve remembered as her grandmother’s room. She couldn’t help glancing back at the door and wondering what it was like on the other side. Virginia mistook her glance and said, “Do you want me to go find your father or mother? They aren’t in their room right now, you know. They are down there with the guests.”
Eve looked down at the shorter woman. She hadn’t looked directly at Virginia before and noticed that her face was long and narrow, and she had a thin straight nose that pointed like an arrow on the end. It actually fit her other features quite nicely. She smiled.
“I know. Yes, if you want to get my father for me, I would love to talk to him for a moment.”
“I will do that, Helen! Now you get some rest. I’ll send him right down.”
“Thank you, Virginia, you are really sweet.”
Virginia laughed, giving her a peculiar look. “You are so strange tonight, Helen! When did you start calling me Virginia? Even your dear cousin calls me Ginny. Why did you stop?”
Eve giggled. “I am not myself when I am this tired, Ginny. There. Is that better?”
Virginia laughed again. “Yes, quite! All right, honey, I’ll go fetch your father.”
Eve nodded and turned the knob on the door as her friend hurried back down the hallway in the direction they had just come from. She bit her lips together as the door swung open, moving her eyes slowly over the contents of the room.
As soon as she stepped across the threshold, she felt better. She recognized the dressing table where Helen put her makeup on and brushed her hair. In her time, it was in the attic with a thick blanket over it to protect it. She walked around the room very slowly, touching the items she saw around her. They were so new. Dust free. She ran her fingers over a soft sweater laying over the back of a chair.
She stopped at the double doors to the closet. She bit her bottom lip and opened them. She pulled in a deep breath, her eyes opening wide. The closet was filled with beautiful gowns. She fingered through them, feeling the fabric, lace and silk. They were so pretty.
“Someone has good taste,” she whispered.
A few minutes later, she sat on the bed and waited for her father. Helen’s father. She smiled. She was comfortable. The bed was soft. The pillows were fluffy. She laid back on it and spread her arms out wide.
A knock on the door drew her attention away, and she sat up abruptly.
“Come in.”
The door opened, and an older man stuck his head in. “Helen?”
“Hello…father.” She said hesitantly.
He came in with a smile, and she immediately felt comfortable with him. His face was warm and welcoming, his love for his daughter apparent. He came directly to her and sat next to her on the bed.
“Are you all right, dear? Ginny said you were acting strange, and I must say, it’s been some time since you’ve called me ‘father’.”
He put one arm around her shoulders and squeezed, giving her a kiss on the side of her head. She giggled. “I’m sorry, papa,” she said, hoping that was the right thing to say.
“There you go. Now what’s wrong, dear? What are you worried about?”
“I’m not worried, papa. Just a little tired.”
“Well, you need to get some rest then.” She loved the deep resonance of his voice. “Ginny is right, you look different.”
“I do?” She felt a bit of fear run through her chest.
“Yes. You look…happier. Your voice has a lift to it that wasn’t there before.”
“I’ve only sai
d a few words to you, papa.” She enjoyed calling him her father. Back home, she had only her grandmother and siblings. Her parents had already passed. She missed them every day. It was nice to have a father again.
When he didn’t respond, she looked up at him. The look on his face was so kind, she wanted to cry. “It’s more than you’ve said to me for a long time, honey.”
“Why?” The question slipped out before she could stop it.
He smiled softly, but the look of confusion on his face was obvious. “That would be something I would have to ask you, dear. Are you done being mad at me?”
“I don’t remember being mad at you, papa,” she replied, honestly.
He stared at her. “You don’t remember why?”
She bowed her head and lowered her eyes. He touched her chin to lift her face back up so he could look at her. “Helen, you know I would never want to hurt you.”
“I know, papa.”
“You must learn to trust me when I say that someone is not good enough to be with you.”
It was about a man. She thought, forcing herself not to roll her eyes. Probably the one her grandmother had told her about. “I’m over it.” She wondered if they said things like that in the time she was in and quickly went on as if she didn’t say it in the first place. “I am happy with your decision, papa. I am not thinking about that anymore.”
She could see why Helen was miserable. From what she’d seen of the men at the ball, she wasn’t highly impressed. Their behavior had not been chivalrous and kind. It had been wild and unruly. The only man she’d truly been impressed with was her cousin.
“I’m so glad to hear that, Helen. I am glad you want to talk to me again. I am glad you are happier now.”
“Thank you, papa.”
He grabbed her and pulled her into another hug. “I want you to be happy, my girl. I really do. But you must find a man who is worthy of your love. You know I will not force you to marry an Earl or a Duke. We don’t need the money. You aren’t desperate for love. You will find the right man.”
“Yes, papa.”