“I didn’t operate but I was there,” I said. “Poor woman was pretty badly beaten. Broken rib just missed her lungs.” My stomach tightened as the words soured in my mouth. It was a good thing she’d arrived by ambulance. Alone. If I laid eyes on the scumbag that did that to her, who knows what I would have said, or done. “She’s still in ICU,” I continued. “If we’re lucky she won’t lose the baby she’s carrying but its touch and go at this point.”
“Frequent flyer, ya know. I’ve seen her before.”
“That so?”
Doctor Carver rubbed his chin. His eyes were bloodshot. I remembered seeing him on the roster seventeen days straight. “On second thought, I can’t be sure. They all look alike to me,” he said.
Prejudiced jerk.
“And how’s that?” I asked, trying to control my rage.
“What?”
“You said they all look alike to you. All who exactly?”
“Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s the way of the world. I can’t even count the number of people that come in here from that shelter. Half the time there isn’t a damn thing wrong with them.”
“They can’t get medical care anywhere else,” offered Harvey. “We are doctors, after all, Carver. Or did you forget that?”
Carver clamped a hand on Harvey’s shoulder. “But we can’t fix the world, son. Mark my words, that lady who is a train wreck... She’ll go back to the bastard she’s married to, soon as she can. They always do.”
“Not if I can help it,” I said, not really knowing how I would prevent such a thing.
Doctor Carver scratched the grey hair on his shaved head.“Ah Steven, you can’t save the world either.”
“He’s gonna try,” Harvey added.
AFTER TAKING A SHOWER and changing into street clothes, I met Harvey in the Cafeteria. I wasn’t hungry but I knew I had to eat. If I waited until I got home and collapsed from working a double shift, more than twenty-four hours would go by before I woke up.
Harvey handed me a cup of coffee. “Black. Two Splendas. Just the way you like it.”
“Thanks.” I took a seat across from him dropping my backpack below the table.
“You need to eat, Russo,” he said.
“I know.”
For some reason, my cousin always felt the need to look out for me. As if I were one of his kids. He didn’t have any of his own, but he was fiercely protective of his patients. As we all were.
“You aren’t going to the wedding, are you?” It was a statement more than a question, which I didn’t answer because I didn’t have one. He pushed a bagel with cream-cheese across the table. “I also got you yogurt. You need some of those cultures in your diet.”
“I hate yogurt.”
“Eat it.”
I took a bite of the bagel.
“So you’re not going to the wedding. That’s fine. I have something better in mind,” Harvey said with a grin.
“Why do I feel like you have something up your sleeve?” Trying to distract myself, I scanned the dining room while sipping my coffee. Two nurses were over by the juice machine. When they caught my eye, I glanced down at the table.
“Just hear me out,” Harvey continued, his plump cheeks bursting with Lucky Charms Cereal. The guy even ate like a little kid. Tipping his head back, he gulped the milk straight from the carton as if he were a man dying of thirst, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and then said, “You know that new Intern that just started?”
“Yeah, Baker or Quaker Something or other.”
“His name is Fisher actually. Anyway, it’s his birthday and a bunch of us are going to that new bar that just opened up.”
“You know I don’t drink, Russo.”
“So have tonic water. Milk. Whatever. You’re never going to meet a woman if all you do is work.”
“We work with women every day. I’m sure if I wanted...”
“Wrong setting, man. You can’t date someone you work with.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you don’t shit in your own backyard.”
“It’s don’t shit where you eat,” I corrected.
“Whatever. Forget that. Is there a special lady that’s caught your fancy around here?” Spotting the two nurses who now had taken a seat by the coffee machine, he tipped his chin in their direction. “Because if you do, I’m dying to know who it is.”
“No.”
“Then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t go out with us.” He picked up the bowl of cereal and poured what was left into his mouth, then—and without swallowing—drained the rest of the milk.
“You are disgusting; you know that?”
Ignoring me, he dabbed his mouth with a napkin. “So yummy.” He chuckled from across the table.
“Don’t you have something you should be doing right now? Like cleaning bed pans or making rounds?”
“Funny, Russo. Nope. I’m off shift at the moment.”
“Lucky me.”
“Say, got a question for ya. How long did you know Kathleen before you asked her out?”
This conversation was going nowhere and I had rounds to make, people to call, a long list of test results to go over.
“I don’t remember,” I muttered, simply to shut him up.
“Well, I do. It was too goddamn long. That’s what it was. Didn’t you know each other since you were kids or something? Yeah, I remember now. If you take that long for the next one, your dick will never see the light of day. You need a push my friend or you’re going to end up a lonely old man.”
“Don’t tell me. You’re just the one to push me, right? Well, forget it. I don’t like to be pushed.”
“I get that. You’re used to taking it slow. Talk a lady’s ear off first. Probably a few dates, Graduate to meeting her parents, and.. Hells bells, this is the twenty-first century, Steven. It doesn’t have to take that long anymore. Ever hear of the internet?”
“I am not discussing my love life with you another minute.”
“Or lack thereof you mean. I’m just saying if you step up your game, you never can tell what will happen. Some pretty lady could fall right in your lap.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Stranger things have happened.”
“Bars are not my style. You know that.”
“Can we at least get you laid then?”
“Something wrong with not wanting to jump in the sack on the first date?”
“Not at all. Come out with us. Do some celebrating. Will do ya good, buddy. If you don’t meet anyone, at least you got your foot out the door.”
“I don’t know. A bar is filled with drunks. You know how I feel about alcohol.”
“I do but look at it this way, a bar is the perfect place to have a conversation with a lady. No expectations. No pressure. Just clean, open and honest.”
I nodded my head, seriously thinking it over. The whole wedding invitation had me thinking a lot of things over. “I’ll see if I have time. First I need to check the patient in post-op. Make sure we were able to find a blood donor, consult with Doctor Fitzgibbons in OB, see if the woman has any relatives and...”
“All done, Russo.”
“What are you talking about? She just came out of surgery.”
“Doctor Fitzgibbons came in early. He’s talking to the husband as we speak.”
I took a deep breath, my heart suddenly beating like a bass drum, hands clenched into fists. The last thing I needed was to lay my eyes on the sort of bastard that would hurt his pregnant wife. My cousin knew it. To everyone else on the unit I was calm and cool under all circumstances. What they didn’t know was I’d almost killed my own grandfather for putting his stinking drunk hands on my grandmother once.
Harvey laid a hand on my arm. “I know, Steven, but there’s nothing you can do for her right now. Come with us. Like I said, it will do you good.”
I shook him off. “There have to be other places a man can go to meet women.”
“Pr
obably, but where else are we gonna go at this time of night?”
He had a point.
Chapter 3
Steven
The music assaulted me, as we walked into the dim noisy bar and I almost turned around. They call that music? Country or was that reggae? Did it matter? The place was hopping with mostly women dancing with each other on the dance floor and nearly every space at the bar taken up. Men in cowboy hats, denim and beards, plus one rather large guy with a collar that looked like it belonged on a dog. Shit, what kind of a bar was this? Or were all bars like this? This time I did attempt to turn on my heel, but Harvey pushed me forward.
Just like he said he’d do.
I rubbed my clean-shaven face, tucked in the preppie button-down shirt I was wearing inside my Chinos and glanced at my peers. What a lot we were. All of us doctors. Dressed like we were going to a church social.
Talk about sticking out like sore thumbs, I thought to myself.
Why the hell was I here again? I was a busy man. Too busy, according to Harvey but then again, he of all people, should know my time is not my own. Yeah, he pushed me and I let him. Was that because I was desperate? Nah. I needed to keep my temper in check. I didn’t trust myself where that abusive husband was concerned.
“Over there,” Harvey said, leading the way toward the back of the bar. “We’ll get some munchies and hey, there’s a jukebox. I haven’t seen one of those since I was a kid.” We sat as far away from the music as possible. “ This is nice. Right?” Harvey asked, staring straight at me. “Just try to have fun, Steven. Okay?”
“One hour,” I said. “That’s all I have, Russo. One. Hour.”
“Yeah, yeah. Keep your scrubs on, Cuz. We all know you’re off shift.”
“One hour,” I repeated.
“Okay, okay.” He threw a twenty on the table as a waitress delivered our drinks, then took a sip of his beer. Swiveling around in his seat, he studied the room with the same intense glare I noticed him use when talking with his kids. Easy. Happy to be alive. Not a care in the world. It was only a matter of time before he found someone to talk to. He was the same around women. Never had to stop and wonder if he was saying the right thing. Sometimes I wondered if we were related. I was a good doctor. A good man, but making small talk wasn’t something I excelled at.
“Well, look what we have here?” I heard beside me while I nibbled the chips and queso. I pretended that I was listening Doctor Carver describe his latest appendectomy with one of our interns. No one would be able to tell that I was really more interested in a certain woman on the other side of the room.
Harvey nudged me.
“What?”
“See that woman at the bar?”
“I think that’s a guy,” I said with a chuckle.
“Not that one. Over there. The blonde. Don’t tell me you don’t see that sweet little blonde.”
I pretended to search the bar but actually I had noticed the blonde alright. Or parts of her. Soft-looking, pink puckered lips. Tight skirt. Slender legs. A pair of cocoa brown leather boots that just about hit her knees. I could imagine those knees wrapped around my hips. Or my ears for that matter.
Down boy!
“She’s staring right at you, Steven.”
“No, she isn’t.”
“Yeah, I definitely think she is.”
“Okay maybe she is. So what?” I hung my head, tried to think of a reason I shouldn’t talk to her. She looks too young. Definitely with someone. Not my type, but how could I possibly know if she wasn’t my type if I didn’t talk to her? She was gorgeous though. That much I did know.
“I think you should go say hello,” Harvey said. “At least introduce yourself.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s how you meet women, Russo. Man, don’t you know anything?”
“I know plenty about women,” I said.
“Yeah, right. When’s the last time you got your rocks wet?”
“None of your fucking business.”
He threw his hands up at my raised voice. “Okay, okay. But if you don’t take the horse out of the barn, he’ll never get to the oats.”
“What?”
“You know. Play hopscotch. Bang the drum. Ring Around the Rosy.”
“You’ve been hanging around kids too long.”
“I get that a lot. Just talk to her. You don’t have to propose marriage or anything.”
I licked my lips, watching how the blonde bounced her tiny foot like she was waiting for something important.
Me.
She wore a teasing smile that gave me an urge to throw her over my shoulder and carry her the hell out of this stinky bar. Beautiful. Most lovely thing I’d seen in a long, long time. Or maybe my eyes were just open for a change. I hated to admit that Harvey was right but Harvey was right. I was tired of being single. Tired of having nurses gossip behind my back. Tired of being alone every night of my boring life. The next time I let myself glance in her direction, I swear she winked. A big smirk spread across her face next.
“See. See,” exclaimed Harvey. “Go talk to her.”
What the hell would she want with a wallflower like m?
“She’s with someone,” I said trying to hide my disappointment. Something in my gut twisted and I swallowed hard. Strange. I didn’t even know this woman.
“Well if she is, she’s about to lose her date because he’s chatting up the bartender more than he’s talking to her.”
“So.”
“So I think he’s giving her his number. Either that or she’s giving him hers. Hard to tell from way back here but they’re definitely writing something down.”
“And I care because...?”
“Because it appears that they aren’t together. Or they won’t be after tonight. He’s totally not into her, man. Pick up the ball, Cuz. Run with the fucking ball!”
He was right and I hated it.
A vein inside my temple throbbed. Protective as fucking hell. A woman like that deserved to be treated like a princess, not like shit. “He’s still her date,” I reasoned. “Not starting a fight in some sleazy bar. If I wanted to start a fight with someone I would have decked that husband that beat up his wife.”
“Dude, she doesn’t like her date.”
“What makes you think that?”
“She’s not even looking at him. She’s looking at you. And smiling, I might add.”
“Maybe she’s staring at you. Ever think about that.”
“Christ! How the fuck did a guy like you ever end up married?”
“Sometimes I wonder about that myself.” I turned back toward the rest of the guys, intent on joining their conversation which now had turned to which interns they’d deduced were going to make great doctors and which ones would faint when they experienced their first surgery.
Behind me, Harvey let out a breath and muttered, “Someday your dick is gonna fall off from misuse.”
Ignoring his insults, I ate half the bowl of chips myself and three glasses of ginger ale while nonchalantly keeping tabs on the date. If that guy made a wrong move toward her, he was toast. Fucking toast. My hands clenched into fists.
It hadn’t escaped me that she still glanced in my direction from time to time, but I was waiting for a sign. Unbeknownst to my cousin, I’d been trying to get up the nerve to talk to her for the last two hours. Yeah, I stayed past the one hour because—God help me—Harvey was right. I needed to relax. I was even having fun. Maybe I would talk to the blonde after all. When the need to visit the men’s room overpowered me, I figured this was my chance. I would have to pass her on that cute little stool at the bar on my way by. If she shot me down, I’d be okay with that. I needed to get out of here anyway.
Excusing myself from the group, I stalked off to talk to a certain beautiful blonde before I lost my nerve.
“Go get her, Russo,” I heard at my back.
Chapter 4
Mattie
Switching to beer was the worst thing I could have do
ne. It made me silly, then chatty and recently very, very, weepy.
“Kyle, what’s wrong with me?”
He turned to look at me, frowned, and then wiped the tear on my cheek with the back of his hand. “Oh my poor sweet Mattie. Try to have fun. You need to let the past go, baby girl.”
He was right. For some stupid reason, all the failed relationships in my life, the guys who never called when they said they would, the ones on dating sites who passed my name, boyfriends I’d thought were the one, kept clamoring for attention inside my head. And then there was Prom night. I never got asked to Prom so I went alone. I’d been so proud of myself. Never thought in a million years it would lead to my most humiliating moment of my life. For awhile, it seemed I’d actually pulled it off too. Then it all went to shit, when someone spiked the punch and I made a fool of myself on the dance floor. I did not know how to dance. Not even a little and that was super important back then. My classmates gave me a nickname. Crazy Mattie. That nickname followed me all through my senior year.
“Maybe you should switch to ginger ale,” Kyle said. “And by the way, there isn’t anything wrong with you, except you’ve had way too much of that stuff.” He jutted his chin toward the glass in my hand.
I stuck my bottom lip out. “It makes me feel better,” I whined. When he tried to reach for the glass, I yanked it out of reach.
“Fine. Suit yourself, but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you tomorrow morning when your head is pounding like a brass drum.”
“Let me worry about that,” I said. “Tonight I want to have fun.”
“If you say so.” He sipped his drink, something respectable: tonic water and lime. Who the hell drinks tonic water and lime? Kyle does, that’s who.
“Kyle, you’re my friend, right? Tell me the truth.”
“About...?”
As if I didn’t already know the truth. Actually, what I wanted was for Kyle to lie to me. Lie so that I can feel better.
“Why does every guy I meet, eventually break my heart?”
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