In the Heart of Forever (A Heart Story)

by Jo-Anna Walker

  He stopped in front of my bed, considered what to do next and then flung himself at me. He shook me, grabbing my wrists but I continued to scream. He back handed me.

  But a power came over me as I continued to scream with all my might. The sound came out huskier and huskier as I tried to get it out. My voice hurt but I still screamed at the top of my lungs as best as I—

  Hands tightened around my neck, squeezing, drowning me in pain.

  My screams turned muffled as the hands gripped my neck, choking me. I gasped for air, my mouth opening and closing, but no air would come in. I couldn’t breathe. Oh God. Allan was going to kill me.

  He released his grip, knowing if he left noticeable marks on me, someone would call the police on him.

  "Keep screaming little girl. No one will come for you. You know who I am. Remember that."

  Chapter 9

  My body stirred to the sound of birds chirping. I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. I sighed wishing just once I could wake up somewhere else.

  Allan didn’t squeeze the life from me. He wanted to though. The dark cold hatred in his eyes would be permanently etched into my mind.

  I rolled over when a sharp pain erupted behind my ribs. My throat pulsed, making me wince. Clearing my throat didn’t help either.

  I grabbed my clothes and went into the washroom, locking the door behind me. My body felt heavy and my muscles ached. I looked at my reflection in the mirror…Oh God…I looked like I died. In a haste, I pulled my shirt up over my head and saw fading shadows coating my skin. If someone saw these bruises, they would know instantly what caused them. My lower ribs jutted out, showcasing my bony frame.

  My muscles quivered. Allan was smart when it came to hitting me. He was an alcoholic and he was high up on the food chain in a law firm. I didn’t know how that was possible. He was a lawyer and had everyone convinced he was a good guy. I scoffed. If they only knew.

  Not even bothering to take a shower, I quickly got dressed, grabbed my bag and ran out of my room. I heard Allan move around in his room as I neared the bottom of the long staircase.

  “Girl!”

  I didn’t even wait to find out what he wanted. I ran out of the house and hitched my bag up higher on my shoulder, breathing a sigh of relief. After a couple of minutes of walking faster than normal, I slowed down my walk. Allan wouldn’t chase me.

  I pulled out my phone and went to place an ear bud in my ear as a black car drove up beside me. I jumped at the loud rumble and stopped walking. My heart sped up when I realized it was Rave. The car stopped and I opened the door.

  Rave didn’t say anything as I slid into the seat beside him. He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles.

  We drove on in silence, heading for school. His hands gripped the wheel. He wanted to ask me. Tension rolled off of him in waves.

  I couldn’t tell him that my step father beat me. My throat closed up, no words formed on my tongue. Even if he asked me, what would I say? Allan blamed me for everything. Was it all my fault? Oh God…my heart beat loud in my ears and my breathing labored. My palms became sweaty, cold chills running down my back. “Rave…”

  I couldn’t breathe.

  Rave pulled the car over. “Jesse. Breathe.”

  “I…I can’t…” Tears streamed down my face, my lungs burning with lack of oxygen.

  Rave grabbed my face in his hands and took a deep even breath. “Breathe with me, baby.”

  I looked up into his deep green eyes, our faces inches apart. His term of endearment calmed my racing heart as I copied him.

  “That’s it. Breathe…deep and even,” he inhaled slowly and placed a light kiss on my mouth.

  I mirrored his breathing, grabbing onto his wrists and held on. Like he was my safety raft and I was holding on for dear life.

  Something shifted in his eyes. A dark shadow crossed his features.

  “Please…” I begged. “Don’t ask me. Just...kiss me, please...”

  His jaw tensed and then he covered my mouth. The kiss was slow. Hot.

  I pulled at him, gripping his shirt. Wanting to feel him. I never wanted something so bad in my life.

  "Jesse."

  "Don't. Just kiss me," I breathed against his mouth. I licked my way in between his lips, pulling a deep groan from him.

  He released me a moment later. "God, Jesse. You're gonna kill me."

  "I love the way you make me feel."

  He smirked. "I love the way you make me feel but in my car is not a good place to continue this."

  I nodded in agreement and sighed. As much as I wanted to keep going, I didn't want my first time being in a car. My first time. I never thought I would actually meet someone I wanted to lose my virginity to. I closed my eyes as his soft warm lips touched my forehead.

  “You need to talk—”

  My eyes snapped open. “No, don’t tell me what I need. Please."

  He looked down at me, concern filling his eyes. "Jesse..."

  I pushed him away, releasing myself from his grasp. “Don’t look at me that way. Please. I can’t deal if you look at me with pity too.”

  “Jesse,” his voice filled with sympathy…not pity but it still hurt. He wasn’t supposed to feel sorry for me. He was supposed to like me for me. Not because I was broken and he wanted to fix me.

  “Just take me to school. I’ll be out of your life and you won’t have to worry about me anymore,” I said, looking out the window.

  “Jesse, damn it,” he snapped, punching the steering wheel.

  I jumped.

  "Don't push me away. Please."

  I turned to him. The pleading in his voice breaking my heart. "I can't talk about it."

  “I know something's going on,” he confessed.

  “Really? Wow. And here I thought I was miserable for nothing," I snapped not really understanding what had come over me.

  His eyes flicked to mine, anger filling the beautiful green depths. “Lay off the sarcasm, Jesse.”

  I held back an eye roll and met his stare head on. “Why did you approach me in the library originally? Did you feel sorry for me, Rave?”

  “Not everyone feels sorry for you, Jesse,” he bit out.

  Wow, that was harsh. “You don’t have to be an asshole, Rave.”

  He huffed. “I approached you because I thought you were cute. I wanted to get to know you.”

  I didn’t believe him and this time, I let myself roll my eyes.

  He sighed, turned back around and started up his car again. “You scared me last night when you hung up on me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

  “Stop apologizing!” He yelled. “You have nothing to apologize for. It’s not your fucking fault.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. “Yes, it is. Everything is all my fault.”

  His nostrils flared with anger. “Is that what he told you? That it’s your fault?” his eyes darkened, turning deadly.

  A lump formed in my throat and I looked away, not answering his question.

  “Answer me, Jesse,” he demanded.

  I crossed my arms under my chest, ignoring him.

  “Answer. Me,” his voice lowered, turning cold.

  I angrily wiped the tears away and that’s when I realized I forgot my glasses on my dresser, making me cry harder. God, how dumb was I?

  “Jesse,” Rave placed his hand on my shoulder.

  “Don’t touch me.” I shoved out of his grip.

  “Answer me. Did he tell you it was your fault?”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Did he tell you that you deserve it?” he asked, his voice filling with malice.

  “Fuck you, Rave,” I gasped at my outburst, slapping a hand over my mouth.

  Shock etched his features.

  My cheeks heated. I hardly swore but I hated being backed into a corner. “Rave, I’m so sorry.”

  His jaw clenched and unclenched. His deep green eyes bored into mine.

  “Just drive me to school please and I und
erstand if you never want to speak to me again,” I whispered. God, I was such an idiot.

  Rave pulled out onto the street. His eyes glued to the road before him. His jaw was in a hard line, the muscles flexing in his temple.

  My throat closed up. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, I packed up my things and reached for the handle when a warm hand cupped the back of my neck.

  I turned to Rave.

  He reached out and brushed his fingers down my cheek, rubbing a thumb over my bottom lip. Before I had a chance to process, he leaned down and covered my mouth with his. The feeling of his lips on mine again was becoming familiar. I needed it. He released me and kissed my forehead.

  "Rave, I'm sorry for snapping on you."

  His lips parted as he skimmed his fingertips along my jaw line. "I'm sorry for pressuring you. I just want you to talk to me."

  "I...just...please...kiss me again," I didn't have to ask him twice. I pulled him towards me as he crashed his mouth to mine. If we were standing, I would have crawled up him. I wanted to feel him everywhere.

  My heart beat loudly in my chest and shivers ran up my spine. My lips parted at the impact causing my tongue to peak out. The kiss was gentle at first but when my tongue touched his lips, it was like an explosion.

  His lips opened, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth.

  “Rave.”

  A soft moan bubbled up from my throat as our tongues touched.

  His hand moved to my nape, pulling me towards him. Our mouths moved together, massaging, dueling for ownership. The kiss became faster and hotter. More intense. I needed him.

  They say when you’re a teenager, you don’t know what you want or need but I knew. I needed Rave Black. I fisted his shirt in my hands. I never needed something so bad in my life I wanted him to take control. Devour me from inside out. I wanted to give myself to him.

  He ran a hand down my back, his hand brushing under the hem of my shirt as his fingers grazed my skin. A shiver of warmth ran through me but then he released me.

  My eyes fluttered open and I looked up into his deep green eyes. They were glassy and dark with hunger. I did that to him. Knowing I had that kind of control, made pleasure course through my body.

  Rave's gaze heated, blazing with desire. He licked his kiss swollen lips. "Let's go before we both do something that...well..." he smirked and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “Regret isn't the right word."

  I giggled, my face heating.

  We both left the car and Rave held my bag for me. As we walked to the entrance of the school, Rave put an arm around my shoulders and kissed my head. My heart swelled and I sighed, happily. Maybe this was the beginning to a new chapter of my life where I would be free of pain and finally have my own happily ever after.

  In the Heart of Now

  Part 2

  Jesse Dawson

  Chapter 10

  Rave’s fingers were warm in mine as we walked hand in hand towards the school. Kids milled about but since there was still a half an hour until homeroom, not a lot of people were there yet. We trudged up the steps, not even noticing anyone around us.

  “Hey four eyes.”

  My stomach clenched at hearing my nickname. I turned my head and saw Melanie headed towards us with her posse and a couple of guys from the football team.

  Rave kept walking, ignoring the impending crowd.

  “Rave.” I tugged on his arm.

  “Ignore them, Jesse,” he grumbled, pulling me along behind him.

  “Four eyes, don’t be rude. I just wanted to say hi,” Melanie added. The Triple M’s continued following us with the football players hot on their heels.

  I turned back to Rave and ran a hand down his arm. “Rave?”

  He looked down at me and then over my head. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and we continued walking down the hall to my locker. “I haven’t been here for long, but I hate this damn school already.”

  We ignored the catcalling coming from behind us but it was hard. Thankfully we reached my locker quickly. “I’ve had to put up with it for ten years.”

  Rave leaned against the joining lockers and crossed his arms under his chest, watching. It was like he was waiting for something to happen. He shoved a hand through his shaggy black hair, his dark green eyes going cold. “I don’t like how they treat you.”

  I opened my locker door and grabbed my books. “They’ve always been mean to me, Rave. I’m used to it.” I shrugged.

  He cupped my cheek in his hand and leaned down and kissed me softly. A spark ignited between us making me jump. He laughed. “Electrifying.”

  I giggled and slapped his arm lightly when I saw the Triple M’s headed our way. They stopped in front of us, looking between Rave and I. The football players laughed as they walked by. The one known as Alex “Tank” Archer, dropped his gaze over me, making my skin crawl.

  My heart beat loudly in my ears. These girls made me nervous.

  “What do you want?” Rave asked Melanie as she sidled up to him.

  She looked down her nose at me and glared. “We just wanted to see if you were free this weekend?”

  “Why?” he bit out, taking a step closer to me.

  “Melissa’s parents are out of town and we’re throwing an epic party. We wanted to know if you’d come.” She ran a finger up and down his arm, pushing her chest into him.

  Jealousy flared through me and I had to look away.

  “Is Jesse invited?” he asked, shrugging out of her grip.

  My eyes shot up at Rave’s question. There was no way that I was going to one of their parties. “Rave, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  Melanie scoffed. “You cannot be serious.” She looked back at Melissa and Miranda and they laughed.

  He didn’t answer and grabbed my hand. He linked his fingers with mine and ran his thumb over my skin.

  Melanie saw the movement and frowned. Her blue eyes turning cold. She no doubt wanted to dig her claws into him but there was no way that I would ever let that happen. “No, of course she’s not invited.”

  “Then I’m not going,” Rave stated matter-of-factly.

  Melanie’s eyes widened, like she never expected him to say no. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish and with her gloss-injected lips, I had to stifle a laugh.

  “Rave.” I gently tugged on his arm. He looked down at me. “You can go if you want to,” I mumbled.

  Rave shook his head. “Not without—”

  “Fine, she can come.”

  We both turned to Melanie’s voice. The Triple M’s were glaring at us. Melanie licked her full lips and placed a hand on Rave’s shoulder, whispering something into his ear.

  Seeing her that close to him set my blood boiling. My cheeks heated and my lips pursed.

  Rave’s cheeks flushed with color and a moment later, Melanie winked at me and walked away, the rest of the trio following.

  Chapter 11

  After the Triple M’s left us, we headed to the library. Mrs. Johnson was sitting at her desk, typing away on her computer. She looked up as we walked by and smiled brightly.

  We said good morning to her and headed to the corner. When we neared it, Rave threw my book bag on the ground. The whole walk there, I could sense something was wrong.

  He ran a hand through his hair and sat on the floor.

  I joined him and placed my hand in his. “What’s wrong?”

  He looked down at me and ran his fingers down my cheek before kissing my forehead. “I don’t think we should go to this party.”

  I frowned. “I wasn’t planning on it but what did Melanie say to you?”

  “Nothing important.” Rave continued to stare at me, his eyes glancing down at my lips every so often.

  My neck heated and I rose to my feet, searching through the books that I had read many times before. Unable to ignore the intense attraction I felt towards Rave, I closed my eyes when I felt his warm body come up behind me. I looked up at him. “Rave.”

  He sm
irked and cupped the back of my neck.

  I tilted my head to meet the impact of his warm lips. No matter how many times he kissed me, it would always be like the first time.

  He pressed his body into me and pushed me up against the stack of books, not caring in the least that we were in public. A tantalizing thrill ran down my spine at the thought of someone seeing us at any moment.

  Our tongues danced and dueled as he ran a hand down my back.

  I gripped his shirt, pulling him against me, deepening the kiss. He pressed his lower body into mine and the feel of his thigh against my core excited me.

  He released my mouth and trailed kisses down my jaw as he squeezed my hip. “I’ve never made out in a library before.”

  My cheeks heated and I breathed deeply, easing my racing heart. “I’ve never made out with a boy, period.”

  A smug grin formed on Rave’s face as he ran a thumb over my kiss-swollen lips. “Seems like I’m your first for a lot of things.”

  My breath caught and the sound of my phone interrupted our heated conversation. I walked back to my bag and saw that it was Allan. My stomach dropped and I thought of ignoring it but decided I’d better not. “Hello?”

  “Where are you?” Allan growled, slurring his words.

  I frowned. “Are you drunk? I’m at school.”

  “Just making sure you actually went to school today. I’ll be home late so I expect dinner when I walk into the house, brat.”

  “Fine.” God, I hated it when he called me. “Good bye Allan.” I disconnected the line and turned off my phone. I tensed when a hand touched my back and relaxed when I realized it was Rave. “I almost forgot you were there.”

  “Why?” The circles he ran on my back soothed me.

  “You’re so quiet.” I turned my head to him.

  He smiled softly. His lips were darker from our passionate kiss and knowing that I wanted to do that again made my body heat with an unexpected desire.

  “Who was that?”

  “Someone I wish would leave me alone.”

  Rave gave an understanding nod and lightly stroked my forearm.