Now he stood by as Bennett had grew more and more relaxed, his smile had become more and more genuine, and his words flowed. Who knew that Bennett was a chatterbox?
“Hey, B.” Mac tapped Bennett on the shoulder to get his attention from one of the Anderson girls—who knew which one since that family had like ten girls all with brown hair and brown eyes— that stopped and talked to him. “We gotta get moving if we want a good seat for the fireworks show.”
Bennett never stopped waving and saying hi to people as they made their way down the main street toward the hill with the best view of the fireworks display. Most importantly, his gorgeous smile never left his lips. Mac had a thing for those lips.
Mac tentatively grabbed for Bennett’s hand as the crowd thinned on the path leading up to the town lookout. Just as his fingers brushed the palm of Bennett’s hand, Bennett linked their fingers without missing a beat. Out of the corner of his eye, Mac saw Bennett’s cheeks flush a little pink and the corner of his mouth lift up. His once unrequited crush was not so unrequited anymore. That thought, and knowing whose hand was in his, made his heart thump hard against his ribs for a couple of beats.
Mac had no idea what they were doing but he didn’t want to question it. If things continued this way while Bennett was here, Mac would be a happy guy. When Bennett left…well, he’d go back to life as it was before Bennett arrived.
It was dusk by the time they sat down. The sky was still bright enough to see each other, and the small battery operated lanterns the attendants carried helped light the way for those still finding their seats.
When they sat down on the big picnic blanket Danny brought for them, Bennett sat shoulder to shoulder with Mac. “Having fun, B?” Mac asked as he leaned close, his lips nearly touching Bennett’s ear. Most of the town had turned out for the fireworks show, making the noise level loud and the ability to speak at a normal level nearly impossible. Unless you were Danny, who had such a deep voice that, even at what he considered a normal level, it was booming. The man had no idea how to whisper.
“More than I thought I would. Thanks for kidnapping me.” Bennett playfully bumped his shoulder against Mac’s, making him chuckle.
“Yeah, okay. If you weren’t so stubborn…” His words trailed off at the sound of the air horn being blown—the ten-minute warning that the show would be starting—making everyone jump and numerous people scream.
“Shit, I forgotten they did that,” Bennett grumbled.
“Yeah, we keep telling them to just have someone with a fucking loud speaker announce it, but I think the mayor secretly enjoys making people shit their pants,” Allie complained.
“The mayor is your Dad,” Danny replied incredulously.
“Yeah, well, just because I’m fantastic, doesn’t stop him from being a jackass who likes to scare people.”
“No one can be perfect, Allie,” Mac deadpanned.
“I know. He’s lucky I love him, because he isn’t good for my stellar reputation,” Allie quipped.
As the fireworks lit up the sky, other than the occasional ooohs and ahhhs, a hush fell over the crowd. Mac made sure to stay right next to Bennett during the show, and Bennett didn’t seem to mind. During the hour that the show went on, Mac felt like they were in their own little bubble. Holding hands, sharing smiles and comments about the beautiful fireworks. With each smile, he felt a little string pull at his heart.
At the end of the show, everyone stood and clapped and cheered for the great job that the town had done. Then they all made their way back down the path toward the main street where their cars were parked, so they could head home.
Just as they left the path and started down the road, Mayor Granger and his wife called out. “Allie!” Allie turned to see her dad about fifteen feet behind them.
“Why does he have to be so embarrassing?” Allie grumbled as she made her way over to her parents. But before she got too far, he yelled again, “Bring your friends, Kitten.”
Mac could’ve died a happy man right then at the look of horror that had come across Allie’s face. No one but Mac had known—and he was sworn to secrecy—about the nickname Mayor Granger called badass Allie. Danny was the one to start the round of laughter but very quickly Mac and Bennett joined him.
“Stop the fucking laughing right now or pain will be visited upon onto your persons!”
“Sure, Kitten,” Danny replied mockingly as he rushed past her to get to the Grangers.
She turned her glare on Mac, who lifted his hands in surrender. “I’m saying and doing nothing.” She harrumphed at him and stalked over to her parents.
Just as Mac and Bennett started to walk over to the rest of them, Sally Naber, one of his mother’s old classmates, accompanied by her own mother called him over. He turned toward Bennett. “You go on over to them, and I’ll catch up to you guys soon.”
“Are you sure, I can come over with you.”
“Nope. The elder lady is not a pleasant person to be subjected to. It’s fine. Go over and talk and I’ll join you soon.” Mac gave him a reassuring smile when really, on the inside, he was dreading having to talk with Sally’s mother. Bennett nodded with a smile and walked away.
Mac took one step toward Sally and her mom then looked back over his shoulder at his friends laughing, wishing he was laughing with them.
“Mac, it’s wonderful to see you. We were sorry to hear your parents couldn’t make it to our little celebration this year.” He’d always liked Sally Naber. She was just one of those people that loved people, loved being around crowds and making people smile. How she ended up that way was something he’d never understand.
Her mother—he had no idea what her first name was because no one was allowed to call her by it—was the biggest jerk an old person could be. Danny had always told him to try to understand where she was coming from because she was in her late seventies, and it was a different time in White Acre when she grew up. Mac called bullshit. It was the person, not the time period, because if that was the case, Martin Luther King Jr. wouldn’t have been the great civil rights activist that he was.
“Yeah, they were unfortunately busy with a charity function and couldn’t make it. They felt terrible letting down the mayor, but you know…life.”
“Well, young man, if you weren’t such an embarrassment to your highly respected parents, you could have stood up for them at the celebration.” Mrs. Addington said condescendingly. He wished to be anywhere but having the conversation she clearly wanted. Mac wasn’t in the mood. He’d been so happy, just hanging out with his friends and being with Bennett.
“Mother!” Sally’s shocked voice didn’t surprise him. She never got over how crass and judgmental her mother was.
Mrs. Addington continued, “No, don’t you hush me, Sally.” She raised her chin with defiance, as though what she was doing was somehow her duty. And honestly, it wouldn’t surprise Mac if she thought it was. “If you did as your parents instructed as a young man, you wouldn’t be stuck fixing people’s windows and toilets for a living. I don’t know what it is with you young people thinking you know more than your parents. How you disgrace them. They tried to give you everything and look at you now.” At the end of all her condemnation, she shook her head and looked away from him as though she was truly disgusted.
“Mac, I’m so sorry—” Sally started.
“It’s okay, Sally.” He nodded at her with a small smile, but inside, it was like the older woman’s words were the key that opened that door he thought only his parents could get into. It let all the hurt, guilt, pride, and anger out. It poured into his body, it didn’t matter that he wanted nothing more than to keep it locked away. This was why he never talked to his parents and was glad each time they couldn’t come back to his home and gloat around town about how great their lives were.
“I’m sure you’re right about that, Mrs. Addington. I could be doing more than fixing windows and toilets, but then again, I wouldn’t be happy doing anything else. I love giving new life
to the old and broken parts of this town. Making it better for the next generation to come in and live and prosper, so that maybe more children will grow up in loving homes with rich history, instead being stuck in the past where the older generation thinks they don’t have to have polite manners.”
“Listen here you heathen—” Just as she started speaking, Mac’s phone rang with a familiar ringtone.
“If you’ll excuse me, that would be my mother calling now.” Mac wasn’t sure he was up for the one-two punch he was about to get.
“I’m so sorry, Mac. Happy fourth.” As Sally walked her mother away, Mac answered his cell knowing that what was to come was going to be more of the same he just got from Mrs. Addington.
“Yes, mother?”
“Mitchell Alexander Campbell!” Mac rolled at his mom’s use of his full name. He hated that she refused to call him Mac.
“What did I do now?”
“Your father and I got a call earlier this evening from Mrs. Granger, the mayor’s wife, informing us that you and Bennett Cole are together.” Mac could hear the excitement in her voice, and he couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d ever been happy about anything regarding him.
“Together? If you mean as in here, at White Acres celebration with my friends and me then, yes.” He knew that’s not what she meant, but he never gave into her crazy ideas if he could help it.
“Do not be deliberately obtuse, Mitchell. You know what I meant.” Her crisp words always had the ability to cut right through him. He was just so tired of it all. He was starting to feel like isolation was better than her finding ways to still try to mold his life to her ideals.
“I’m not sure where—” His mother voice cut him off before he could finish.
“If things go as well as we hear they are going, you could marry him dear! You could finally sell that silly little company of yours and move with him to Boston for his new job and get a better job yourself!” Her words were fast, like bullets, hitting every mark.
Mac had to believe that they loved him, but as he got older, he couldn’t see where. What part did they love? Why couldn’t they love all of him? Silly company? Get a better job? “Marry him? Move to Boston? What are you—No. What do you get out of this plan?” Mac was past tired. Now, he was just angry.
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say to me, Mitchell, but all I can say is that it would make both your father and I very happy for you to finally settle down and with someone…worthy.” He knew his mother didn’t mean worthy of him. It was more that the “someone” had to be worthy of them and of want they wanted. “And Bennett Cole is the best. You cannot do better than someone of his education.” She continued. Her elated voice grated on his every last nerve. He would never be good enough. Not unless he turned into Bennett Cole.
His voice resigned, he replied, “Why do we keep doing this? Keep going back to this same argument. I swear neither of you ever listen to me.” He felt so defeated, but the anger and hurt he often felt was bubbling right below the surface. “You know what Sally Naber’s judgmental old mother said to me tonight?” He could hear his mother trying to admonish him for the name calling, but he powered right through her words. “That I’m an embarrassment to my family. Is that how you see me, mother? An embarrassment?” He probably didn’t want to hear her say the words. But…he knew them in his heart.
“Mitchell—”
“No. Maybe someday you’ll hear me when I explain this to you, or maybe someday I’ll realize that I am an embarrassment, and you’ll get your every dream come true, but today is not that day. I’m done with this conversation. Bennett is not an object that you can move around on the chessboard to win a game, he is a person. A great man, and if I was to ever end up with him, it would be because he’s just a good person not because it would make you finally love me as you should.” Mac hung up the phone. The silence that followed caused ringing in his ears.
When he was finally able to calm his racing heart, he pocketed his phone and looked around, breaking the bubble he was in. He needed to get to his car. The tiny cracks that he always had, the imperfections that his parents hated, were beginning to widen. He needed his studio. That would help. His place of safety and comfort to work through this until he was back to his normal self.
He walked blindly, not looking at the people milling about. He didn’t want to get stopped by anyone, because polite conversation was beyond his capabilities at that time.
Mac heard his name a couple of times but ignored the unfamiliar voices. Until a familiar angry one broke through his racing mind, and when he turned, he came face to face with his best friend.
“Mac, why are you ignoring me?” He could hear slight annoyance in her voice but there was also concern in her eyes that she wasn’t hiding. Allie knew what was happening with him, what would have caused this shutdown. Allie had witnessed it too many times before to not know.
It was the face that stood a few feet behind her that didn’t know. The one face that he wanted to see but at the same time hated seeing.
Bennett was the issue.
He was the cause.
If that man wasn’t always so damn perfect all the time, so great that his parents bragged about his accomplishments, maybe Mac would be accepted and loved by his own parents.
Mac shook his head trying to stop that train of thought.
“Sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you. I just didn’t hear you,” Mac said in a hollow voice. Maybe he was so full of emotion that he couldn’t find just one that he felt strong enough to give it voice. Mac felt them all swirling inside of him, trying to find purchase.
“Okay, Mac. Let’s get to the truck and get home.” Danny stepped forward, his deep voice breaking the stare down that Allie and he were locked in as he gripped Mac’s shoulder firmly.
When they reached his truck, Mac went to open the driver side door but was stopped by a gentle hand on his arm. He turned and saw it was Bennett with the other two standing a bit away. “What?” He snapped, his voice sharp and biting.
“I’m going to drive, Mac. You just sit up front and relax.”
“I can drive my own damn truck home,” Mac replied, his words angrier than he thought they’d be.
“No one is saying you can’t, but think Mac. Should you really be driving?” That time it had been Allie that voiced what he was sure the other two were thinking.
“Fine.” He stalked around the truck and climbed into the passenger seat. Danny and Allie sat in the back which was normal, but what wasn’t, was Bennett sitting in his seat.
They ended up dropping Allie and Danny off at their houses first, even though Allie tried to argue about going home with him. He would not budge on that. Mac didn’t need her babysitting him. He just needed his painting and some quiet.
When Bennett pulled his truck into the garage and shut the truck off, the sound of silence filled the small cabin. Mac needed to go, but somehow, he felt stuck to his seat. Weighed down by everything which made no sense, because it wasn’t like that was the first time shit hit the fan with his parents.
“You’ve been quiet, and I don’t know what I did to cause it. Whatever it was, I’m sorry. I know I can be thoughtless with my words sometimes, but I honestly don’t know what it was I said.”
Great, now he had to make sure Bennett felt better when he felt like shit himself. “Stop. It’s nothing. Let it go, Bennett. Go home. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Mac finally climbed out and made his way to the door that led into the house from the garage. He turned to make sure Bennett was fully out of the space before he closed the garage door, only to find Bennett standing right behind him. What had made it worse was the look of pure determination on that stupidly beautiful face. Mac couldn’t deal with this.
“Go away, Bennett. I told you it’s fine.” Mac couldn’t lie and say it wasn’t him. Because it kind of was.
“Yeah, and you said, ‘I’ll talk to you soon’ which means not tomorrow.” Bennett replied, hurt lacing his st
rong voice.
“You’re reading too much into my words.” Mac said it, but he knew it was a lie. Bennett was smart. Mac had no intention of seeing him tomorrow. Just seeing his face now hurt.
“Don’t play that game with me. Why can’t you just tell me what I did wrong?” Bennett paused. “I thought things were…good between us tonight.”
“I’m done with this conversation. Just close the garage door on your way out.” Mac opened the door that led to the mud room only to be stopped by Bennett’s voice once again.
“You have to talk to me!” Bennett stated loudly, his voice echoing off the walls of the garage.
Mac turned on him, fast and intimidating. “I don’t have to talk to you because this is all your fault. If they had never met you, they wouldn’t hate me so much.” Mac hadn’t meant to say that. Not out loud. How did he get away from this? There was no way for him to do this. Not with Bennett. “Just go, Bennett.”
“No, Mac. Please. What is my fault? Who hates you?” Bennett was pleading with him. He was asking for Mac to give up words that hurt too much to say.
His parents didn’t want him.
He took a deep breath to try to loosen his lungs that felt so tight. What could he do? Mac has been telling Bennett to live outside his box. That words may not heal, but they could be the first step to healing, and here he was, zipping his goddamn lips and holding it all in again.
“Mac?” Bennett touched him. Just a hand on his shoulder, but it felt like a lifeline. He turned to look at Bennett, but suddenly, everything was blurry. Mac refused to cry over his damn parents.
Mac sighed and replied, “Fine.” He walked into the house, straight to the kitchen, grabbing two beers out of the fridge knowing that Bennett would follow him. As he walked out of the kitchen into the family room, Mac passed Bennett, who was stopped in the entryway of the room. Mac handed one beer off to him and continued on his way.
They both sat quietly on the large sofa, one on each end. Bennett thankfully seemed to be giving Mac time to gather his thoughts. Or maybe just to get the balls to say what he needed to out loud.
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