Lush

by Beth Yarnall

  He let out a frustrated growl. “You’re injured.”

  “I’m fine. Let me do this for you.”

  “No.”

  “Cal…please. I want to.”

  “Stop looking at me like that. Both you and Poppy give me that same look. I’m outnumbered here.”

  “What look?”

  “That look. I can’t resist you when you look at me like that.”

  “Then it’s settled. Dinner tomorrow night at six with the Gleasons.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Lucy made Cal go into the office the next morning, wanting everything to go back to normal. Their new normal. The normal they should’ve had all along. She knew Cal didn’t understand why she wanted to keep their dinner plans with the Gleasons, but she refused to let their lives be dictated by Kevin, even in his death. It would be back to the business of living their lives.

  Besides, she had a pregnancy test to buy and take. She didn’t want Cal around for that just in case it came back negative. There was no need to give him another reason to worry about her unless it was absolutely necessary. She thought she’d been nervous taking the pregnancy test when she got pregnant with Poppy, but this was a whole new level of nervousness. So much was riding on this test. A small part of her wished for a negative result. They’d been through so much and had barely started their lives together as a married couple. Did they really need the added stress of having another child so soon? Wouldn’t it be better to wait until they decided they were ready?

  She had Sam drive her to the store and wait in the car with Poppy. She really shouldn’t have been out. The doctors had diagnosed her with a mild concussion, and she had a big bruise on her shoulder from when she had hit the edge of the sink. She was lucky considering what could’ve happened.

  As soon as she got home, she went straight to their bathroom upstairs to take the pregnancy test. Locking the door behind her, she stared at the box in her hand. She read the directions twice to make she sure she didn’t do it wrong. Pee on the stick. Wait three minutes. Seemed pretty simple, except there wasn’t anything simple about whatever the results would be.

  Three minutes was a long time.

  She thought back to that first moment when she turned and saw Kevin in the bathroom… It was as though she’d been hurdled back in time to when she’d lived with him and the horrible things he’d done to her. Not just the physical damage. Bruises and cuts healed, pain faded. No, it was the way he got inside her head, the way he twisted everything so she didn’t know which side was up. He’d thrown her into a mental pit of despair she didn’t think she’d ever be able to climb out of let alone recover from.

  The darkness of being so alone, so totally and completely wrong about Kevin when she’d first met him, crawled over her like a fungus, coating her from the inside out. It chewed away tiny bits of her until all that was left was the thin and holey fabric of the person she’d once been. Where she’d gotten the strength to leave, she’d never know. She couldn’t even pinpoint the one thing he’d done that had drawn the line for her. One day she got up and got out. Walked right out of the house when she’d been so terrified to go anywhere without him or without his permission.

  Maybe it was that something that had made her leave that had also made her stand up to him in that bathroom and fight back. She wished she could say she felt good about killing Kevin. Mostly she just felt sick. And sad. The sadness surprised her. Of all of the emotions she’d thought she’d feel when she was finally free of him, sorrow had to have been the very last, if it was even in the mix at all. Why should she grieve for him? He didn’t deserve to be mourned.

  She was furious with herself for wasting sorrow on a man who hadn’t given her a thought unless it was how to torture her in new and continuously inventive ways. If he were here now, he’d laugh at her stupidity. She’d been so stupid where men were concerned. Cal included. She’d read that situation wrong. Twice.

  The first time was in her thinking that she could be the one to change Cal. That somehow her love could change him from a billionaire playboy to a family man. The second time was in not recognizing that he had changed. He’d reinvented himself in the time they were apart. She guessed she could say that he’d grown up. Now he was every bit the family man she’d wanted him to be the first time around. But a small part of her still didn’t trust that change. She had a feeling that the real test of their relationship was yet to come.

  These were her thoughts as she waited for the timer to go off for the pregnancy test. She didn’t know what to hope for—a negative result or a positive one. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine it coming back negative. Nothing would really change. But what if it was positive? So much would change. She’d get big and fat. Maybe Cal wouldn’t like her pregnant. She hadn’t lost all of the weight she’d gained from being pregnant with Poppy, and packing more weight on top of that would make it even harder for her to lose after a second pregnancy.

  The stretch marks. And the gas, the bloating. The swelling. She’d felt like a giant bowling ball with arms and legs the first time around. What if Cal didn’t want another baby? He’d seemed open to the prospect during the only discussion they’d ever had on the subject. There was a big difference between the possibility of a baby versus the reality of one.

  At the sound of the ding, she hesitated. Her fate lay in the absence or presence of one tiny blue line. She crept over to where she’d left the test on the counter, took a deep breath, and looked down.

  *****

  Cal hung up the phone and stared off at nothing. Lucas had asked the question that had been hovering at the back of Cal’s mind for months. How had Walker known when and where Lucy would be? He’d been ahead of them at every turn. The gun shop. The ball. The party. He knew where to be far enough in advance that he set that fire in the hotel. He’d dressed as one of catering staff at the party at the station. Someone had been tipping him off. There was only one person who knew exactly where Cal would be and when.

  Felicia.

  It wasn’t enough that she’d bugged his office. She’d used her knowledge of his schedule to tip off Walker so he could get to Lucy. It was all he could do to stay in his seat and not go out to Felicia’s desk and confront her. He could kill her for what she’d put Lucy through. She’d helped a potential murderer find his victim. Lucy could be dead right now because of what Felicia had done.

  He got up and paced, trying to work off some of the murderous rage he felt. There was no way to prove any of it. He had nothing except the bug to hang on her. Unless he got her to confess to what she’d done, there was no way to confirm her involvement. The longer he paced, the more solid his plan became. He knew exactly how he’d trap her—by using her attraction to him. It was the only motivation she had for doing what she’d done. So he’d use it against her.

  He went over to his desk and pressed the intercom. “Felicia?”

  “Yes, Mr. Sellers?”

  “Can you come into my office please?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He set the cameras in his office to record their conversation, then leaned back against his desk, placing his hands on either side of him, and tried to look casual. He could do this. He could make her believe he was into her to get her to confess. This was for Lucy.

  Felicia came in with her tablet, prepared to take notes as she always did, and sat in one of the chairs. She pushed her arms together so that her breasts lifted, trying to get him to notice her. “What can I do for you, sir?”

  “How long have we worked together, Felicia?”

  “Almost two years.”

  “In that time have I ever told you how much I appreciate your hard work and dedication?”

  “Well…no.”

  “I do. I want you to know that. I’ve recently realized some things about my life and the people in it.”

  She slid forward in her seat.

  “You’re one of the few people who I feel like I can really trust,” he said. “You’ve become an important p
art of my business…and my life. Thank you.”

  She set her tablet on the chair and stood. “It’s my pleasure, sir.” She put a little extra sway in her hips as she closed the distance between them until they were mere inches apart. “I mean that. I’d do anything for you.”

  “I know you would. And I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

  Running a finger along his jaw, she leaned in so that she was between his thighs. He could smell her perfume—something heavy and cloying. “You’re one of the most handsome and powerful men I’ve ever known. So sexy.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” He gripped her finger and held it between them. “You said you’d do anything for me. What exactly would you do?”

  “Anything you want.”

  “I’m a married man. That doesn’t bother you?”

  “Why should it? You can’t be happy. I mean, I get that she had your baby, but she’s also brought you a lot of problems.”

  “And if I wanted to be rid of her…that’s something you’d do for me?”

  “In a minute. You don’t even have to ask. In fact…” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’ve been working on that problem. I know how unhappy you’ve been. I see it on you every day. So I did a little digging.”

  “That’s very perceptive of you.” He put his hands on her waist and drew her in closer. Touching her made him sick. She didn’t feel like Lucy or smell like Lucy. She didn’t do anything for him except disgust him. “What did you find out?”

  “I’m very disappointed in you.”

  “In what way?”

  She moved away. He followed, hoping to get what he needed out of her.

  Standing behind his desk, she ran a finger over one of the business awards he’d received. “I’ve always admired your business sense. You’ve always seemed so smart and capable. Except where she was concerned. What is it about her that makes you lose all perspective?” She whirled on him, her eyes narrowed. “What is she holding over your head? What is it she has that I don’t?”

  “We have a history together, a daughter.” And so, so much more. He tamped all of that down to do what needed to be done. If she saw his true feelings for Lucy, she’d know this scene for the charade it was.

  She wandered around the other side of the desk, her hips swaying. He stuck close to her. She glanced back at him, a sly smirk on her face. She liked him chasing her. If that’s what it took to get her to confess, he’d follow her wherever she went until she told him what he needed to hear.

  “Her husband stopped by here one day while you were out.” She leaned back against the desk in a seductive pose. “He was very anxious to know where she was.”

  “You wicked, wicked girl, keeping secrets from me.”

  She grabbed his tie and pulled. He stumbled into her, catching himself on the desk so he didn’t tumble her down across it. She wrapped his tie around her hand, and he could tell she liked pushing him around. It turned her on. He’d play her game.

  “I was hoping he could convince her that they belonged together.” She pulled him closer and whispered, “The way you and I belong together.”

  Just a few more minutes...

  “Do you think we belong together, sir?”

  “I want you to call me Cal.”

  “No. I like calling you sir.”

  He spoke next to her ear. “So damn sexy.”

  She pushed him away from her, still gripping his tie. “You didn’t answer my question—do you think we belong together?”

  “Without a doubt.”

  She yanked him close again. “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”

  Sliding her leg up his, she caught the back of his knees. He lost his balance, grabbing her to keep from taking them both down.

  “I’d do anything for you, sir, anything to make you mine.”

  Closing his eyes, he pretended she was someone else—anyone else—and pitched his voice low, seductive. “Tell me what you’d do.”

  “I’ll help you, but first tell me what you would do…for me…to me.”

  “Whatever you want. What is it you want, Felicia?”

  “Call me honey the way you used to before her.”

  “What do you want, honey?”

  “I want you all to myself.”

  “You said you didn’t mind that I was married.”

  “I lied.” She licked along his jaw, her breath hot in his ear. “I won’t share you. I’m going to be the only one you fuck.” She jerked on his tie. “Got it?”

  “Yes, honey.”

  “It wasn’t very smart of you to marry Lucy without a prenup. I’m very disappointed in you for that. A divorce would cost you a fortune.”

  “I wasn’t thinking. My daughter—”

  “Now it makes sense.” She pushed him away again, his tie still in her grip.

  She liked the power play, got off on it. He’d give her what she wanted to get what he wanted.

  Licking her upper lip, she ran her gaze over him. “She has you by the balls.” She moved fast, cupping his junk.

  He grabbed her wrist and twisted, forcing her to let go of him, and brought her hand to his chest where he could control it. Son of a bitch, this woman was a piece of work.

  “Something like that,” he answered, trying real hard to remember he was supposed to be letting her seduce him.

  “Hmm. I was hoping her ex-husband would take care of your little problem, but unfortunately she killed him, ruining all of my plans and hard work.”

  “You were willing to do that…for me?”

  “I told you. I’d do anything for you.”

  He stroked the inside of her wrist. “What was your plan?”

  “It was rather clever really. I’d tell him where she’d be, gave him the security codes or whatever he needed, and he was supposed to convince her to go away with him. He was either too stupid or he overestimated Lucy’s desire to be a rich man’s wife. But I’m not like her. I don’t care about your money. All I want is you.”

  She jerked on his tie, at the same time wrapping her legs around him, knocking him off balance. He landed on top of her on the desk, her mouth fastened to his.

  “Oh, my God.”

  Lucy.

  He shoved at Felicia and rolled off her to find Lucy standing in the doorway, one hand over mouth, the other fisted over her belly.

  “It’s not what it looks like,” he said.

  “It’s exactly what it looks like.” Felicia pressed herself against him and ran a hand up his chest, making a grab for his tie, but he caught it and flung it away.

  He moved toward his wife. “Lucy, you’ve got to believe me.”

  Lucy shook her head. “I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I trusted you. Again.” She spun on her heels and ran out of his office.

  “Lucy!”

  He started after her, but Felicia jumped into his path. “Let her go. We can finally be together.”

  “Shut the fuck up.” He pushed past her and ran down the hall. The elevator doors closed before he could hit the button and call it back. “Goddamn it!”

  He bolted for the stairs, running for his life. The look on her face—exactly the same expression she had the last time she caught him—shock, pain, and then hatred. He’d never forget that look, he’d never get out from under it. He would always be the man who broke her in two. She’d told him that if he ever cheated on her again, they’d be over. Really over. The fact that he hadn’t cheated this time meant nothing up against the visual of him lying on top of Felicia on his desk.

  He had to find her, had to somehow make her see that what she’d witnessed in his office wasn’t the truth. He wasn’t that man anymore. He hadn’t betrayed her.

  By the time he got to the lobby, Lucy was climbing into the car with Sam. They drove off before he could stop them. He raised his hand and flagged down a cab. Climbing in, he gave the driver directions to follow Sam’s car. He called Lucy, but she didn’t answer so he tried Sam.

  “Hello?”

/>   “Sam, it’s Cal. Let me talk to Lucy.”

  There was some muffled mumbling and then Sam came back on the line. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

  “Put me on speakerphone.”

  He could hear Sam asking Lucy if she wanted to hear what Cal had to say. And then Lucy’s emphatic “No.”

  “Tell her that Felicia was the one who was helping Walker get to Lucy.”

  “I don’t think that’s going to help your case, man.”

  “I was getting Felicia’s confession when Lucy walked in.”

  More mumbling.

  “She says that’s exactly what it looked like to her—taking down a confession.”

  “Damn it, Sam! I’m not having an affair with Felicia.”

  “She’s crying,” Sam whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m going to have to hang up now.”

  “Goddamn it!”

  The driver glanced at him in the rearview mirror. “Lady troubles?”

  “Yeah.”

  The driver pointed at his lips. “You got some lipstick… You should probably wipe that off before we catch up to that car.”

  Cal swiped a hand across his mouth. The pink of Felicia’s lipstick streaked his skin, a damning reminder of what an idiot he was and how big a task he had ahead of him. “Shit.”

  *****

  Lucy couldn’t believe how stupid she was. Almost two years later and she was right back where she’d ended things with Cal the first time. She’d taken a chance on surprising him at his office to invite him out to lunch. Things with them had felt off kilter, and she thought maybe spending some time together might help. She’d planned for Sam to wait for her with Poppy just in case Cal wasn’t available. It was a good thing. Otherwise she’d be having her breakdown in the back of a taxi.

  “I’m sorry, Lucy.” Sam patted her hand in her lap. “Men can be real assholes sometimes.”

  “I can’t believe I trusted him again. I’m such an idiot. What am I supposed to do now?”

  “Now you go home and have a good long cry and then you think about what you want to do.”

  “I can’t. It’s not my home, it’s Cal’s.”