by Kari Gregg
“All wolves need to stretch their legs, especially omegas, whatever the rest of you might choose to believe.” I squared my shoulders. “I’ve explored our territory for years without an escort too. Requiring a companion is absurd. I can take care of myself.” Hackles rising, I stiffened and snarled at him. “I run and hunt, but I also come back. I don’t run away.”
Dr. Bennet harrumphed. “Don’t dismiss that, Dio. You’ve pushed and pushed him these past weeks. I have too. Meeting with his brother is no small matter, either. Add in the medical tests and I think everyone can agree Nox has been under a tremendous amount of stress.” His eyes narrowed. “Episodes of regression are understandable. Also predictable. As long as he continues to return to his human form to address his problems as a man, I don’t recommend curtailing the one coping mechanism he’s counted on until he’s taught other tools to help him manage his anxiety. That he hasn’t entirely reverted to the feral state he embraced after the murders is a positive sign.”
Damn right! I preened.
“He’s sleeping in his new workshop. On the floor.” Dio’s glower clearly indicated his feelings about it too. He’d tried cajoling me. He’d tried bribery. He’d even tried grabbing me to haul me into his den at night, only to end up with an armful of viciously snapping wolf. “When I tried to drag him into the house, he nipped at me.”
“How’s the leg?” I asked with an evil smirk.
Dio arched a cool eyebrow at the human doctor. “Are you hearing this?”
“I’m afraid I am.” Dr. Bennet glared at us both. “Violence is unacceptable in any relationship, which is as true among shifters as it is for humans.” His beady eyes focused on Dio. “You know his history. You shouldn’t have manhandled him. When he feels threatened, he’ll defend himself by whatever means he believes necessary.”
I chuckled, chest swelling with wicked satisfaction. Maybe Dr. Bennet wasn’t bad, for a human.
“And you,” the doctor said, shifting his disapproving stare to me. “Biting is not okay.”
I was wrong. Dr. Bennet sucked. “Shifters bite. A lot.” I scowled. “It’s what we do.”
“Love bites during sex and casual nips while at play are different.” The human thinned his lips. “This is no joke. I can’t condone any suggestion of domestic abuse and the both of you devolving to these kinds of behaviors sets off grave alarm bells.” He tapped a folder on the surface of his desk. “I scheduled a conference call with Dr. Gabot, the leading shifter fertility specialist in the county, during our session. We intended to review some results with you from the battery of tests we ran, help you both begin to process what we discovered, but…” He sighed. “Personal safety takes precedence. Always.”
“That’s why I agreed to counseling.” Dio nodded his solemn agreement. “Nox’s infertility is a side issue. We need healthier ways to interact with each other.”
“Unless you want another chunk taken out of that leg, you need to not grab me. I won’t be dragged anywhere. By anybody.” Conveniently forgetting I’d once balked at physically challenging Dio and only days ago too, I sneered at him. “Lay a finger on me again without my permission and, alpha or not, this omega will put you on your ass.”
“Nox,” Dr. Bennet said, voice low in warning. “Threats are destructive. We need to focus on constructive words and actions.”
“Not a threat.” Self-righteous indignation flooded me. “It’s a promise.” I glared venomous hate at my supposed mate. “I won’t be bullied by you or by Joth.” I cut a sharp hand through the air and stared pointedly at Dr. Bennet too. “Not by humans, either. It’s long past time you and everyone else learned omegas aren’t helpless.”
When Dr. Bennet opened his mouth to speak, Dio lifted a silencing palm. “No, don’t yell at him. This is my fault.” He sighed, his shoulders rising and falling dispiritedly. “After the murders, the pack failed to see to adequate living conditions for him, and alphas surprising omegas with courting gifts is traditional for us. I wanted to improve his life, but I understand now that moving him to better housing took away the one place he felt safe. He’s been angry and lashing out since.”
“My den didn’t make me safe.” My forehead furrowed. “I make me safe.”
Dio grimaced. “Your pack should provide safety and security.”
Rage shot through me. “My pack tried to kill me!”
“That happened half a dozen years ago and under the leadership of a different alpha. Who was also dealing with a shit ton of grief and regrets of his own.” At my growl, Dio beetled his brows. “I’m not excusing what he did or the choices he made. If Farron had asked for help then… The tragedy disoriented him and the rest of the pack alongside him. Once they realized you weren’t dangerous, Farron called off the hunt.” Next to me, Dio finally gave up his relaxed pose on the couch. He straightened his spine. “You need to forgive them.”
I scowled at him, the hurt I’d felt as raw for me as the very first day my pack had preyed on me. “Would you?” Bitter and furious, I laughed when his unsmiling mouth snapped shut. “Didn’t think so.”
“You returned to your pack, Nox. You chose that. No one forced you. You left the pack lands altogether by several reports. You could’ve gone anywhere, but when the danger lessened, as soon as you could bear it, you returned home.” Dio blew out a weary breath. “Was it to punish them? Because that’s what you’ve been doing.”
“An issue we will revisit in future sessions, I’m sure, but we need to focus on the two of you.” Dr. Bennet settled back into his office chair, hands loosely clasped in his lap. “Most importantly, how you manage anger and handle your disagreements.” He waved when Dio and I both stiffened in our seats. “Shifter and human culture differ. I grasp that and respect it. I won’t, however, relent on this. Manhandling, pushing, grabbing—none of that is acceptable. Biting is unacceptable.”
“I didn’t hurt him. I could have, but I didn’t.” Head down, I squirmed. “I just wanted to make him to stop.”
“Dio’s aggression frightened you.”
“I wasn’t scared.” I jerked my stare up. “Shifters believe omegas are weak, but we aren’t.”
Dr. Bennet winged up an eyebrow. “Do you believe fear is a weakness?”
I ignored his question. “Everyone expects omegas to cower from confrontations. I didn’t and won’t. Ever.”
“After the tragedy you endured, none of us think you are weak.” Dio chuckled, but the sound wasn’t amused or happy. “You’re strong, Nox. So strong. But Oliver is right. I keep trying to be a proper alpha to you and I screw it up every time. I shouldn’t have jumped on you like I did. No matter how often we fuck, you and I barely know each other. Of course, I scared you, and you responded aggressively to my perceived threat. That makes you a smart survivor, not weak.” He rubbed his calf through his blue jeans where I’d bitten him. “I deserved it.”
The human frowned. “No one deserves to be attacked or hurt.”
Dio shook his head. “He was defending himself.”
Swiveling in my seat, I gawped at him. Shock at Dio’s abrupt pivot jarred me from my self-righteous indignation. “You were furious at me for biting you, like, ten seconds ago.”
“Admitting a mistake doesn’t come natural to me.” The alpha jerked one shoulder in a tense shrug. “I don’t want Oliver faulting you for a reaction I provoked.”
I narrowed my eyes, my distrust soaring. “You are the strangest alpha I’ve ever known.”
He grunted. “That’s part of the problem.”
“Gentlemen,” Dr. Bennet said, and when he had both our attention, his mouth formed a tight smile. “While I’m pleased the two of you appear capable of talking through your disagreements, you are still avoiding the central issue.” His eyes glinted, hard and uncompromising. “Domestic violence and abuse will not be tolerated.”
I gulped, my gaze lowering. Perhaps the human doctor had some shifter blood in his family tree because his disapproval clenched my stomach.
“I
learned my lesson.” Next to me, Dio fidgeted. “It won’t happen again.”
“Excellent. Nox?”
Biting my lip, I shook my head.
“I need you to promise you won’t resort to—”
“He won’t.” Dio patted my knee. “Nox is struggling to adjust, but he isn’t an aggressive wolf. His first response will always be to follow, and when he can’t do that, he runs away.”
“I didn’t run.” I yanked my stare up, my lips curling into a fierce snarl. “They drove me off.”
“I apologize. I was speaking figuratively, but I chose my words poorly.” The insufferable bastard stroked my thigh. “I’m also sorry for grabbing you the other night. As I said, I won’t do it again.”
My anger ranged like a wild beast inside me, hungry and spoiling for a fight. He believed me passive? Ha, fat lot he knew. I could be as sly as any other shifter, though.
“I’m sorry I bit you,” I said through clenched teeth, struggling to make my tone sound marginally sincere.
Dio laughed. “Liar.” His boyish grin and the squeeze he gave my knee indicated he didn’t judge my duplicity alarming or hold it against me. Weirdo.
Dr. Bennet glanced at his phone. “Regardless, I need him to commit to nonviolent methods of addressing friction in your relationship before we proceed.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Fine.”
The human arched an eyebrow. “No more biting?”
I shrugged a stiff shoulder. “No more biting.”
“Fantastic.” Dr. Bennet leaned forward. “We have enough time before Dr. Gabot’s conference call to review tools to help you both prevent physical confrontations when you argue.”
Rolling my eyes, I pretended to listen to a lecture I didn’t need on deescalating aggression and respecting each other’s personal boundaries. Timeouts? Why did they think I disappeared into the woods? My thrice-daily constitutional? Regardless of my anger, despite my hurt, I didn’t want to rip out Veradek’s throat or Odday’s. Or Maise’s. I would not be my brother and regardless of the overtures the pack had made, I didn’t dare exhibit behaviors that could call down their collective wrath again. When I worried I might snap, I retreated by taking a break as my wolf. I didn’t need the pontificating Dr. Bennet to tell me to do it, but I nodded when the human seemed to require a response and murmured occasionally in vague affirmation. I didn’t yank my hand away when Dio threaded our fingers, either. The human convinced him to stop his attempts to coerce or pressure me into joining Dio in his den, to let me freely make the decision myself. That’s all I cared about.
Dr. Bennet rubbed his hands together and beamed at us both. “I feel we’ve made definite progress.”
I smothered my amused snort.
The phone on his desk rang and Dr. Bennet smiled. “Right on time.” He tipped his head at us. “But if either of you would like a short break…?”
Squaring his shoulders, Dio sat up. “I’m all right.”
I eyed the noisy telephone as though it were a viper poised to strike. The fertility specialist. The tests. My toes curled inside my sneakers, eager for the soft loamy earth of my pack lands.
“I’m okay,” I lied.
“Good, good,” Dr. Bennet said, already snatching the telephone receiver from the cradle.
While he greeted the human on the other end of the line, Dio bent his head. “Deep breaths,” he whispered, his lips tantalizing close to the shell of my ear. “I want you to remember whether or not we can have kids isn’t important.” He chuckled at my disbelieving sniff. “I chose to mate you before the tests. Remember that. Reassessing your fertility was never about or for me.”
I turned my head to gawk at him. “You’ve been trying to knock me up since day one.”
“You genuinely see it that way, don’t you?” One corner of his mouth kicked up in a self-depreciating smile. “I’ve led this pack for half a year, since before your father’s death. I gave you a period to acclimate to me as your new pack alpha and to mourn. As hard as waiting has been for me, I didn’t begin mating you until you swam up from your grief and convinced me you could emotionally handle a mate.” He squeezed my hand in his. “Day One was six months ago, Nox, the night Farron introduced us.”
I blinked at him. “What?” I asked, but I knew he was right. “You didn’t court me then,” I argued anyway, my nerves jangling.
“I spoke to your father about my mating you that same night, but he died soon after…As fractured as your relationship with your dad might have become, you fiercely grieved his passing, as intensely as you mourned your mother and brothers. Regardless of what your dad and I negotiated, you weren’t in any condition to begin mating after he died. I didn’t press the issue.” He shook his head. “I’m not a monster.”
Yet, I’d treated him like one.
“Gentlemen,” the human doctor interrupted, his jabbering at the fertility specialist apparently at an end. He replaced the handset in the phone’s cradle, nudging his opened laptop to the side to reveal a surprisingly young blonde wearing a doctor’s white coat and wire-framed glasses on the screen. “Please permit me to introduce Dr. Francine Gabot, a leading expert in the field of shifter reproduction at the Cornell Medical Center in New York. Dr. Gabot was kind enough to take time from her busy practice to review your case.”
I startled at the high-pitched voice that rang from the computer. “Nox, Dio. I’m pleased to finally meet you.” The human on the laptop screen guffawed. “I apologize for consulting via Skype. I realize shifters loathe technology that leaves them nose-blind, but I can’t leave my patients. Oliver indicated travel here is out of the question so…”
With his free hand, Dio patted our clasped hands. “Skype is far less unnerving than driving to New York would’ve been to Nox. I won’t add more stress to his life than absolutely necessary.”
“I agree,” Dr. Bennet said. “We appreciate the teleconference.”
“Nox?” the human specialist prompted, her voice gentling. “While I appreciate your mate and therapist approve of Skype, I won’t proceed unless you are completely comfortable.”
Bewildered, I shifted my stare down. “It’s okay.” Not being able to smell the human made my skin crawl and the realization maybe Dio’s mating of me hadn’t been as abrupt and cold as I’d believed still shook me. I wouldn’t be the one to halt the intricate arrangements Dio and the humans had organized to make this meeting possible. I was no wuss. I hated the uneasy shiver of trepidation that worked up my spine and the tense bunch of my muscles as I struggled to absorb the bitter truths of the past several minutes, forget whatever new revelations awaited me, but I’d manage. Somehow. “I’m okay.”
“Outstanding.” Gabot rubbed her hands together. “Oliver, do you have your copies of the scans and blood panels ready?”
Bennet tapped on his tablet. “Let me know which result to access first.”
“Let’s start with last week’s MRI.”
Staring at the flecked beige tile in Bennet’s office, I tuned them out as best I could, but the human on the computer screen spoke to me frequently, demanding I acknowledge her.
This human was much more dangerous than Dio and Bennet combined. They let me fade into my mind, couldn’t prod me to attend them once I’d decided to ignore the world at large. Gabot didn’t suffer such nonsense gladly. She made me examine snowy images marked with blue triangles on Bennet’s tablet to show the blip Gabot assured me was my womb. Surrounded by scar tissue and roughly half the size it should be according to the fertility specialist, but still present, which was a marked improvement over the MRI images of my pelvis shortly after the attack. I wasn’t permitted to turn my attention away from the screen lit with scattered red dots concentrating at the same spot, proving my blood flowed normally throughout my damaged reproductive system either.
“Not a starfish,” I grumbled under my breath.
“You haven’t regrown your womb.” Gabot grunted. “Your initial scans focused on organs necessary for sustaining life. Cl
ear images of your womb weren’t a priority, but your doctors should have ordered more tests once you’d stabilized. Despite that glaring failure, I’m confident even then follow-up imaging would’ve shown—”
“Nox vanished from the hospital before subsequent tests could be performed.” Dr. Bennet’s mouth thinned to a disapproving line. “No one believed him physically capable of running away, but security was inexcusably lax.”
“We failed him too.” Dio sighed. “Shifters should have anticipated his instinct to shift to grieve and heal, posted an elder to be at his side when his father couldn’t be.”
“They did.” I bent, shoulders hunched. “Farron assigned Odday to guard me.”
“You didn’t need a guard.” Dio growled. “You needed emotional support, someone to help manage your pain and ground you in your human form.”
“I’m not interested in assigning blame.” Gabot harrumphed. “The point is I’m confident early scans would have shown Nox’s womb once the doctor’s attention expanded from simply keeping him alive. The assault damaged his reproductive system. There’s no denying it, but the initial prognosis of sterility was premature, ill-advised, and—in my professional opinion—mistaken.”
Blood roared in my ears. I shut my suddenly burning eyes and concentrated on my breathing. Deep breath in, slow on the exhale. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words dried up in my throat.
“He can breed.” Dio gripped my hand, squeezing my fingers in his. “That’s what you’re saying.”
“He can conceive,” Gabot said from the laptop, stopping my heart. Her eyes narrowed. “Dr. Bennet, the blood panels?”
Behind his desk, the human tapped at his tablet, then turned the device to display the results to Dio and I.
“Shifter females produce a distinct hormone that differs only slightly from hCG, which is only produced during pregnancy and used to identify pregnancies in human females.” Gabot squared her shoulders. “Labs developed tests for the shifter variation, ShCG, but no hormone identifier had been found for male omegas.”