Bah.
"Were you worried I'd be mad about Buddy?"
Oh, that. She forgot about that. Yeah, probably, but there was no need to admit that. Besides, part of her plan involved not letting Evan forget how desperately he yearned for her. Deep breath, Josie. Be strong. "Because I figured it would distress you to have to look at me, want me so much, yet know that you had to save me for your brother." Ah, much better answer. Got the innuendo in there so he had to think about her, while still managing to make herself sound like the strong one.
She was good. So good.
"Is that so?"
Was the jerk actually chuckling? As if it was funny that his heart was broken because he couldn't have her?
Laughter hides pain.
She had no idea where she'd heard that, but it sounded good and it was a useful contribution to her ongoing distortions of reality.
Poor Evan. So torn up by not being able to have her. "Did you talk to Buddy last night after I left?" Might as well stroke her ego by asking for details on the brilliantly successful reunion.
The laughter faded. "No."
"No? Are you kidding?" She rolled onto her back so she could face him, careful to rotate beneath the animals so they didn't end up on the floor. "You've been trying to find him for years and I put you two together and you don't even talk?"
Evan shrugged and stroked Max's head. "Didn't know what to say."
"How about 'Hi?' How about 'I missed you?' What about all the things you've been wanting to say to him? The guilt?"
"Didn't feel like saying them."
"Why not?" Didn't he realize his reconciliation with Buddy was all part of her master plan? There was no way he'd get over his guilt if he didn't reconcile with Buddy.
"Because I was worried about you."
She groaned. "Me? That's why I left. So you could have some alone time with each other."
Evan looked at her finally, and she was shocked to see heaviness in his eyes. "I think you should move out."
No! This wasn't how it was supposed to be working! "Why?"
"Because yesterday, I missed a chance to talk to my brother because I was worried about you. I can't think straight with you around. I need to get grounded again. Focus."
"Focus on what?"
"Family."
She wondered idly what would happen if she started screaming like a madwoman, ran around in circles, vaulting over furniture while she waved a voodoo doll of Evan over a flame. "The entire point of last night was your family. Without me, you never would have even seen Buddy. I'm helping, not hurting."
"Last night, when Buddy put his arm around you, I didn't like it."
Whoa. Struck by lightning. "Really?" As if she should be surprised. Hadn't she been telling herself that all along?
"Yes." But he sounded really annoyed. "For the first time in my entire life, I wanted to put myself and my wants in front of my obligations to my family."
Oh... "Not good, huh?"
He roughed up Max, shifting on the couch so his hip was against Josie's. So close, yet so out of reach. "After basically being abandoned by our parents, can you imagine what it would do to Buddy if everyone he was related to put him second? It would be the final blow."
Damned if the man didn't have a valid point. Jerk. This was not part of her master plan.
He nodded at Max. "I'm going to try again with Buddy." He looked at Josie. "But I can't do it as long as you're here. I want you."
He wants me! Glory be! She considered jumping to her feet and wiggling her hips and chanting a victory song while waving her hands over her head, but decided Evan might not appreciate it. He didn't exactly seem to be in a party mood.
"But Buddy also wants you."
Ah, yes. The stickler.
"And as long as you're around, I'm torn. A part of me wants to toss Buddy over the bridge and keep you for myself."
Who said men weren't romantic? She'd have swooned if she was standing. Not that she was the swooning type. Poetic license.
"And that's horribly wrong."
Really? Oh, yes. Murder was illegal last time she checked. How unfortunate. But...that was assuming Buddy actually died after Evan threw him off the bridge. Maybe it was a small bridge. Or maybe he'd land on a raft and float to China to start a new life.
"So, I have to pick."
Nope, she didn't want to hear it. Time to start babbling incoherently so he never finished his thought. "I understand your obligation to Buddy."
"You do?"
Now, why did he look so surprised? Did he really think she was so blinded by love that it was impossible for her to have a selfless thought? She'd take offense to that if she wasn't distracted by all the other emotions running around her body at the moment. "It's admirable you want to keep your family together. Family is really important. And, I also admire your devotion to your little brother. Not that he's so little, but..."
Evan nodded, scratching Max and watching her intently.
"You do realize that even if you and I never talk again and I get sprayed by a skunk so no man will ever come near me, I'll still never be with Buddy."
"I'm beginning to sense you mean that."
Ah, what a perceptive man. "But it doesn't make a difference, right? Because you won't hurt him?"
He shrugged. "He's my only family."
"If you married me, then I'd be your family too." Now what was her mouth doing, going off and making comments like that? Scandalous show of disobedience and disregard for the standards of propriety established by her mind. Shocking.
And from the ghostly pale of Evan's face, it appeared he was equally astounded by such audacity.
"Sorry. I don't have full control over my mouth."
"If you were to become a part of my family, I'd never hurt you." He voiced the words with so much force and empathy she felt her heart swell up. His emotions were so deep, so powerful, so pure. To be loved by him...
She cleared her throat. "Um...well..."
Evan shook his head and stood up, as if he had been startled by the force of his words. And perhaps he was. Maybe he'd spent so long working so hard for Buddy that he'd never stopped to think about his own emotions. "Well...I guess..."
Or maybe it was her delusional tendencies rearing their ugly heads again. Unfortunately, when one relied that much on fantasies to get through the difficult parts of life, it was sometimes difficult to distinguish between reality and fiction.
If it was good, it was probably fiction.
"I know you're strapped for cash...so..." Evan looked uncomfortable. "You can stay as long as you need to."
She needed to stay for the next four years until she was through vet school. But she didn't think that was what Evan meant.
"No, really," he said. "I won't let you move out until you prove to me you have a place to live."
He was doing it, she realized. Taking care of her the way he wanted to take care of Buddy. It was a part of his soul, an essence of his being. Even though having her around was torturing him, he wouldn't turn his back on her.
He loved her.
Suddenly, she knew it without hesitation. And it wasn't a delusion or fantasy.
It was the truth.
Giddiness bubbled through her, warming her to her toes and filling her soul. Not that he'd ever acknowledge it, let alone act on it, but it was there.
And that was enough for her.
No, it wasn't.
Evan loved her.
She loved Evan.
That should mean they were together. Except for the Buddy triangle. Garr.
She peered across the examining table at Monica, who was drawing blood from a very spunky Labrador. "So, we need to keep going on our plan. Skip ahead to phase three, which requires making me repulsive to Buddy."
"How? You didn't get your loans, Buddy and Evan won't reconcile. We're already zero-for-two." Monica crooned softly to the dog, trying to keep him calm without encouraging too much wiggling. "Can't you keep him still?"
"Sorry." Josie tightened her grip on the squirmy creature. "You've been dumped by a lot of guys. How do you make them not like you?"
Monica eyed Josie. "Nice question."
"Oh. Well, I've been dumped lots too. We're always trying to figure out how to keep a guy. How do we manage such a success rate of being dumped?"
"Speak for yourself. I've been with the same guy for two months now."
"So...let's go interview him. Ask him why he dumps girls. Surely, it can't be that hard to be dumped." Josie had a sudden inspiration. "Do you know any obstetricians with fake boobs and no sense of humanity? I wonder if Tom's new wife has a twin sister... I'm sure she'd have the same miserable taste and fall madly in love with Buddy. And Buddy would love a chick with big, fake boobs, don't you think? And then maybe Tom and Buddy would have to spend holidays together, if they were married to sisters...and then Buddy would steal from Tom and it would be a perfect match, don't you think?"
Monica eyed Josie. "You losing your mind?"
"Never had it to begin with. So? What do you think?"
Monica raised an eyebrow in obvious skepticism. "You think everything will be perfect if you can get Buddy to dump you?"
"Well, it would certainly increase the odds of a happy ending, don't you think?"
Monica finished her task and released the dog, getting a bunch of slobbery doggie kisses. "I think your fantasy world is mixing with reality again. I'm not so sure there'll be a happy ending when it comes to the Dorsett brothers and you."
"Bah. You're a pessimist with no sense of adventure. Bring Eddie by the house tonight and we'll interview him. And there must be some books on how to get dumped. I can't be the first one with this problem."
"No, but you may be the first to actually research the issue."
"Knowledge is power." Josie lifted the dog off the table. "Come by tonight at seven. I'll order pizza and we'll pick Eddie's brain. Sound good?"
"What are you going to tell Evan?"
"Ohh..." Forgot about that little wrinkle. "You think he'll get suspicious if he overhears us brainstorming on ways to get dumped?"
"It's possible. His brain does seem to function."
"Yeah..." Josie rubbed her chin. "Guess it'll have to be your place. Seven?"
"You're still supplying the pizza?"
"Yep."
"Fine, then. Though I don't know how I keep getting roped into your schemes."
"Because you know deep down inside, that someday you'll be needing this same information, and you'll be so much better off because we've already done all the research. Long term benefit for both of us."
"Or the fast track toward insanity."
"I'm already there. This will just add a nice balance."
Chapter 32
Evan tensed when he heard the front door slam. Josie was home. What was she going to do? Would she hate him?
No, she wouldn't. Josie didn't have the capacity to hate.
But she'd definitely be annoyed.
And probably hurt.
Damn! He didn't want to hurt her.
But what choice did he have?
He heard Josie scamper across the front hall floor, and wondered what her agenda was. It was the footwork of a woman on a mission. She burst around the corner, slamming to a stop instantly, her eyes going from Evan to his dining companion.
"Buddy?" She barely croaked out his brother's name. Damn, she looked sexy when she was about to faint. And vulnerable—an emotion she no doubt tried her best never to have or show. It made him want to jump up and rush over to catch her. Just in case she needed him. "What are you doing here?"
"I live here." Buddy raised his eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"
Maybe he should have told Buddy that Josie lived here too. But he hadn't been able to bring it up, to see the glitter in Buddy's eyes.
Josie glanced at Evan, her eyes flashing. "You gave away my room already? You said I had time."
"You don't need to move out anymore." This was too hard.
She couldn't hide her confusion. "You planning on having me and Buddy share a bed? Not going to happen."
"Buddy will sleep in the guest wing. That's why I bought the house originally, for him to stay there."
"Wait a sec." Buddy smacked his hand on the table. "Josie lives here?" He looked at Evan. "With you?"
There was no misunderstanding the innuendo in Buddy's voice, the question hanging in the air.
"No, we're not involved."
Josie folded her arms across her chest and eyed him. Okay, so they'd been involved. They weren't now.
"Why does she live here?" Buddy's chin had jutted out a bit and he looked more than a little belligerent.
Why? Because he'd been so attracted to Josie's appeal, independence, and spunk that he hadn't been able to stay away from her. Because he'd wanted to help her out and keep her near, even when he thought she was still lying about Buddy.
"Why?" Josie's irritated voice broke through his musings. "Because he was man enough to take responsibility for his brother's actions. I was broke, because you stole my money. I got evicted because I couldn't pay the rent. Evan cleaned up your mess by giving me a place to live so I didn't have to live in the street in a cardboard box. So you owe your brother a thanks, not a punch in the stomach."
Ouch. Evan grinned at Buddy's startled expression. Welcome to the world of Josie. Wonderful, isn't it?
"I'm outta here. Please don't wait up." She grabbed a banana off the counter. "And I'm begging you. Please don't wait up." She looked pointedly at Buddy then left.
Neither man said anything until the front door slammed. Then Buddy looked at him. "What's up with her? She on drugs or something?"
"Josie? Of course not."
"It isn't the Josie I knew." Buddy sounded like a pouty little boy.
"Really? What is the Josie you know?"
"Sweet, doting, supportive."
Evan narrowed his eyes. "Naive? Trusting?"
"Yeah."
Evan leaned forward. "Buddy. Did you really steal the ninety thousand from her?"
Buddy shifted and wouldn't look at him. "I already told you, I'm a changed man."
"Answer the question."
Buddy finally looked up and met his gaze. "Yeah, so what? I came back."
"Wow." Evan leaned back in his seat, trying to digest the information. He'd doubted Josie, and he'd been wrong. Wrong. He owed her an apology. Big time. "And you were guilty when you went to prison, too, weren't you? It wasn't a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time." As he'd believed for so long.
"No, it wasn't."
Evan let his breath out. He'd known it. Now that it was out, he knew he'd known it. Hadn't wanted to hear it. Hadn't wanted to know that his brother had turned out like their parents, and that he'd failed to help his brother overcome their childhood.
"But I can tell you that now, because it's in my past," Buddy said.
"Is it?"
Buddy met his gaze without flinching. "Yeah."
Buddy was his brother. His kin. His family. Forgive and forget. Accept faults. Buddy had come back, sought him out, and agreed to move back into Evan's house while they got to know each other again.
And it had all worked out.
A reformed Buddy.
Brothers reconciled.
Josie in close proximity.
So, why, now that he had what he'd wanted for so long, why did he want to throw Buddy out the door and slam it behind him? Was it Josie? "Do you love Josie?"
"When she's not yelling at me, I do."
"She doesn't yell. She's being honest. I, personally, appreciate her honesty. It's refreshing. Alive, really."
Buddy lifted a brow. "Do you?"
Whoops. A little too transparent. "Yes. I think she'll make a great wife for you." He was choking on the words.
"That's it, huh?"
"Why do you think I asked you to move in? I'm not blind. I can see that she wants to knock your head into the next stratosphere. I figured some dai
ly interaction might help her to see in you what I see in you."
Buddy tilted his head, as if wondering what indeed Evan did see in him.
But, as usual, they didn't discuss it. Buddy just nodded. "You really think she's feeling violent toward me?"
"You did steal her money." And didn't that just stick in his craw. He owed Josie an apology. "Are you going to pay her back?"
"Sure. Eventually. Don't have the money at the moment. But since I don't have to pay rent now, I can just save all my salary. At eighteen grand a year, I'll have it saved up in six years." Buddy frowned. "You don't think it'll take six years for her to forgive me, do you?"
But Evan couldn't answer. He was thinking about how long it would take Josie to forgive him for not believing her story because he couldn't admit his own failure.
His own failure.
Buddy was a crook, healed only by Josie, and not by him.
How he wanted to ask what he could have done differently, what he should have done to save his little brother. But instead he said, "Want another burger?"
He kinda missed Josie, and how she made him talk about his feelings. He had no idea how to do it on his own.
Speaking of Josie...what was that woman up to? When she'd come skipping down the hall, she'd definitely had an agenda...and he'd been too distracted to notice.
He couldn't help but grin in anticipation of whatever hammer Josie was about to bring down on his head.
She kept life interesting.
Life was better when she was a part of it.
Then he looked across the table at Buddy, and his smile faded, which immediately prompted him to want to smack himself in the face with his beer. Was he a selfish bastard or what? "I'll help you get Josie."
"Great." Buddy held up his beer. "To the brothers Dorsett."
"To us."
Fabulous. The reunion with his brother was simply fabulous. No other word for it.
Chapter 33
Paws Up for Love Page 24