by L A Cotton
Hudson wasn’t wrong. I felt it too. The shift in the air, the hint of things to come.
Only I wasn’t sure if this tour would be the making of Black Hearts.
Or its downfall.
And I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.
Eva
“This is... wow.”
“You’ve seen nothing yet.” Letty led me deeper into the bus. “You think this is special, just wait, the other bus is going to blow your mind.”
This one looked pretty special to me. It had a cleverly designed living space complete with table and bench running down one side and curving around to make a cozy seating area. On the other side was a fully functional kitchenette. Further down the bus I could make out several bunks lining either side and what I hoped was a private bathroom beyond that.
“If I were you, I’d choose your bunk now before the rest of them get here.” She arched a thin brow.
“What’s better, takin’ the top or bottom?”
“Trust me, after a few days on the road you won’t give a shit where you crash.”
“That bad, huh?”
“We’re all just living the dream.” Letty winked before grabbing her bag and throwing it onto one of the bottom bunks. “Hey, listen. I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you at rehearsals. I had a family emergency.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I should have been there. I know this can’t be easy, but I’m on your side, Eva, I promise.”
Letty looked like exactly the kind of girl I’d usually avoid. Loud and brash with pink dipped tips; her skin was decorated with brightly inked tattoos and an array of piercings that made me feel a little queasy.
“We girls have got to stick together.” she added, and I wondered if the fierce petite pixie could also read minds. There was a warmth in her eyes and a softness in her voice that made me want to trust her though. But I didn’t want to let my guard down too quickly.
Letty knew the band. She worked with the band. They had a history that started long before I ever showed up.
“What’s up with you and Rafe?” The question came out of left field. My eyes bugged, and laughter rumbled in her chest. “So I didn’t see him watching you like a hawk during the meeting?”
“I...” The words dried on my tongue as I pressed my lips together.
He’d been watching me?
I thought I’d felt him but hadn’t let my thoughts run away with me. Not after he made it perfectly clear he didn’t want me there.
“You don’t want to kiss and tell,” Letty went on. “I can respect that. But friendly piece of advice; a girl like you doesn’t want to get mixed up with the likes of that.”
“What do you mean?”
She paused, her expression softening. “You’ll see. Come on, I’ll give you the grand tour.”
But before the tour could commence, male laughter filled the bus, and Levi, Hudson, and Damon appeared. “Country,” Levi said, pointing his finger at me. “On the other bus, now.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good—”
“Lighten up, Let, everyone gets initiated, you know that.”
My wide gaze went to her. She gave me a weak smile. “You can try to resist but they’ll only make it harder.”
“Initiation?” I tried to sound calm. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“You’re not supposed to like it, new girl.” Hudson grinned. “Let’s do this thing so we can get this show on the road.” Damon came over to me and whispered, “Humor him; it’ll be easier for everyone.”
Rolling my eyes, I motioned for him to lead the way. I didn’t want to play Levi’s games, but what choice did I have? He was volatile. A beast I most definitely didn’t want to poke.
“Hey.” Letty grabbed my hand, pulling me back as the guys filed off the bus. “Sorry I didn’t give you a heads up. I didn’t think he’d do it. Not with you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing... I just figured Ali would have told him to go easy on you since you’re—”
“I’m fine.” My eyes flicked over my shoulder, hoping no one could hear us.
“Shit, sorry. I know it’s a need to know thing. I just meant I assumed he’d warn the band to behave where you’re concerned.”
“Does the band ever behave?” I’d read the headlines, seen the news reports. Black Hearts weren’t only famous for their music, it was them. The way they’d swept onto the music scene as if they had always belonged there.
“You have a point,” she chuckled. “But I should have given you a heads up.”
“Don’t worry about it. I can handle the band.”
“Atta girl.” Letty looked impressed. “I gotta say, I was a little worried when Alistair told me you were joining the tour. But something tells me I didn’t need to be.”
We exited our bus and boarded the much bigger, much flashier other bus. The guys were all seated around the table, all except Rafe. Letty shot me a knowing look as she barged past me and joined them. I lingered back, feeling very out of my depth.
“Get over here, new girl.”
“Really?” I scowled at Hudson, folding my arms over my chest.
“Come on Eva,” he smiled. “You’re about to go on tour with the hottest band in the world right now. Would it hurt you to smile?”
“Hud,” Damon warned, kicking him underneath the table.
“It’s okay, Damon,” I said, inching closer. “Hudson’s right. I have to embrace the crazy.” Sliding onto the bench, I nudged his shoulder. “So what was this about initiatin’ me?”
“Think you’ve got what it takes to play with the big boys, Angel?” Levi drawled the words, his lazy smirk not half as alluring as it was irritating.
For whatever reason, he wasn’t going to make this easy on me. Maybe he wanted me to prove I belonged here, or maybe it was just a stupid game to pass the time. Whatever it was, something told me that if I didn’t play, we’d see a very different side to the reckless and impulsive Hunter brother.
“Drink,” he said, producing a bottle of liquor from behind his back. “One shot.”
“Just one?” I could handle one shot.
“Do you know what this is?” Levi inspected the bottle, running his finger over the label as if it was precious.
“Vodka? Tequila? I don’t know, don’t really care.” The sooner I did his stupid little initiation, the sooner we could all move on with our lives.
“This is Devils Spring vodka, Country. It’s 80% proof and I’m betting one shot will have you falling at my feet.”
“Lev, come on, you didn’t say anything about making her drink—”
“She wants to play, so we’ll play.” He slammed the bottle down. “Letty, do the honors.”
Her eyes slid to mine, silently asking me if I was sure about this.
“Do it,” I said without hesitation.
One shot.
It was just one shot.
Sure, I hadn’t drunk alcohol in forever, but what harm could one shot do?
“You don’t have to do this,” Damon whispered. Not quiet enough though.
Levi glowered at his bandmate. “She’s not a fucking baby. Are you, Angel?”
“I...”
Thankfully, Letty reappeared with two shot glasses. “You sure about this?”
I nodded, too overwhelmed to answer.
Levi smirked again as he withdrew a lighter from his pocket. My heart crashed beneath my rib cage, blood pounding between my ears.
“What are you—”
“You gotta take it flaming.”
“No. No way. I’ll drink it but you’re not settin’ me on fire.”
“It’s perfectly safe,” Hudson added with a shrug.
“Safe? That’s what they all say until they end up half on fire screamin’ in agony. I’ll drink it, but without the flame.” My eyes narrowed at Levi. He glared right back. If I’d learned anything in my short time with Levi Hunter at Camdena a few months back, i
t was he didn’t like to be challenged. I’d done it then to distract him and calm a tense situation, and I was doing it now to save my own hide.
“Fine,” he bit out. “No flames. But don’t think this means you’re getting out of it. Me and you, Angel. It’s on.” He uncapped the bottle and poured two shots. The overpowering smell of liquor permeated the air making my stomach churn and my mouth water, and I hadn’t even brought the damn thing to my lips yet.
“Ready?” His tone was teasing but there was something else in his expression.
Bringing the glass to my lips, I didn’t dwell on what madness could possibly be running through his mind. Levi Hunter had demons. The kind that made you take risks and stick two fingers up to authority time and time again. The kind that gave little regard to consequence or self-preservation.
Levi lived recklessly and without abandon. And the fans loved him for it.
“Are you?” I threw back, surprised at how I responded to his arrogance.
He grinned, letting his tongue run over his snake bite piercings before mouthing, “On three. One... two...”
Without second guessing myself, I tipped the glass back and downed the cool liquor. Fiery heat exploded in my mouth, racing down my throat. “Holy crap,” I murmured.
“Fuck, it gets me every time.” Levi shook his head, taking his fingers through his hair as I tried to swallow down the acid rushing up my throat.
“Here, it’ll help.” Someone shoved a glass of water toward me, and I looked up to find Rafe staring down at me. Disappointment glittering in his eyes.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, greedily lapping it down, trying to focus on anything but the way the vodka burned.
The guys all watched me as if they expected me to combust into flames, or tears, or worse, puke all over the plush bench. I dropped my gaze and gently smoothed a hand over my stomach, willing it to calm down. I felt okay—nauseous, but okay. One shot, even if the liquor was strong, wouldn’t affect me.
I hoped.
“Well, this was a hoot and all, but we really should get back.” Letty broke the thick silence. “Eva...”
“Uh, yeah, let’s go.”
I stood on shaky legs, trying to avoid eye contact with any of them. Rafe hovered over by the counter, his piercing gray eyes burning into me. But I didn’t meet his gaze. I didn’t want to see the bitter disappointment again. Besides, what right did he have to feel disappointed I was taking shots with his brother when he’d barely spoken two words to me since I arrived.
“Hey, Country,” Levi’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
“Yeah?” I glanced back, meeting his scrutinizing gaze.
He thumbed one of his piercings. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I said before following after Letty.
“Yeah,” he hesitated. “Welcome to our very fucked-up family.” Levi raised his empty glass, a hundred things flashing in his murky eyes.
Unsure of what to say, I gave him a small nod before taking off after Letty. The second the air hit me, my stomach roiled. Pressing a hand against the side of the bus, I waited for the world to stop spinning.
“Shit, Eva, are you okay?”
“I don’t drink much.”
“Crap.” She approached me. “I shouldn’t have let him do that. It’s Levi’s thing. Has been from the start but he doesn’t usually pull out the harder stuff.”
“He’s testing me.”
Her brows furrowed. “Well, I think you passed with flying colors. Damn girl, even I can’t stomach that stuff and there isn’t much I haven’t drunk, snorted, or swallowed.”
“I... really don’t know what to say to that.”
“Made you forget the burn though, am I right?” She chuckled, squeezing my shoulder as I continued deep breathing. “Think you can make it back onto our bus?”
I nodded, feeling the warm liquor trickle through my veins. It was potent stuff. Much stronger than the couple of beers I’d had at a party once, before life became a never-ending cycle of hospital visits, treatments, and depleting hope.
Letty backed off, giving me some space. I took my time with small measured steps, certain I was only one wobble away from puking up my lunch. Just as I reached the bus, I had the strangest feeling of being watched
Sure enough, when I turned back, Rafe stood at the door to their bus, his eyes fixed right on me. The liquor had taken my breath away, but it was nothing compared to how he looked at me.
Through me.
“Eva, coming?” Letty’s voice yanked my attention and I nodded my head, shaking all thoughts of Rafe out of it.
“Comin’,” I said, glancing back.
Only Rafe was gone.
And I was about to...
I took off at a sprint, darting up the stairs and down the galley straight into the small bathroom at the back of the bus. Falling to my knees, I clutched the bowl just in time.
“Fuck, fuck!” I could hear Letty in the background as I purged everything down the toilet except my soul. That was still intact for the most part. My dignity however was washed away in a swift press of the flush.
I sank back against the counter, accepting the wet towel off Letty.
“Is it ... you know?” she asked.
“It’s the Devil’s fault; you don’t need to worry. I’m not exactly a seasoned drinker.”
Letty breathed a sigh of relief as she leaned against the doorjamb. “I feel like this is all my fault and we haven’t even made it to Charlotte yet.
“Stop,” I said. “I didn’t have to drink the shot, and I don’t need a babysitter. But this all feels way out of my depth. The band, the tour...” Rafe. I swallowed his name.
“It’s a lot, I get it. But please, don’t think of me as your babysitter. Think of me as the best friend you never knew you had.”
“I’m not sure what Molly would say about that.”
“Molly?”
“Yeah, my best friend since forever. You remind me of her a little actually.”
“She must be a great girl then.” Letty winked. “You should invite her out to a show one time. We can all hangout.”
“That would be amazin’.” Just the thought of seeing Molly in the near future had me feeling a little better.
“Just say the word and we’ll make it happen.”
“So you’re basically like my fairy godmother?” I teased.
“Among other things. Look,” she dropped to a crouch, “Ali didn’t want you to feel alone. The guys are... well, you know how they can be. I know how things work and I know how to look out for myself in a world where little boys want to play at rock star.”
“Hmm, Letty, they kinda are rock stars.”
“Yeah, but ssh,” she leaned in and smiled, “don’t tell them that. Come, new girl, let’s get you cleaned up.”
Letty helped me up before getting me a clean toothbrush. “Paste is in the cabinet. There are only ten minutes until we head out. Soon this place will be brimming with bodies and banter and you’ll be grateful you got five minutes to yourself.”
“Great, thanks,” I mumbled as she disappeared. My hands went to the small sink basin, gripping on for dear life as I stared at the girl in the mirror.
This time last year, I was teetering on the edge of death, wishing I could close my eyes and just have it all be over.
But here I was.
Healthy and alive.
And about to start an adventure I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready for.
Rafe
“Do you think she’s okay?” Damon peered through the tinted windows as if he could see the other bus. He couldn’t.
“Who, Country? She’ll live.” Levi stretched out his legs and pulled the ball cap down over his eyes. We’d been travelling for less than an hour and he was already crashing. I’d have to keep a careful eye on him. Despite his recent stint in rehab, I knew his thoughts were darker than ever, his mind a constant enemy. Levi thrived on chaos. On anything to distrac
t him from the memories… the pain... the self-loathing. It wasn’t that he loved the crowds or the attention or even the adoring fans, it was that he needed them. Levi needed the validation, the worship and praise.
The love.
Even if it was all fantasy.
“That was savage, man,” Hud said. “Making her drink that shit.” He eyed the vodka bottle on the table. Levi and vodka had history—bad history. It wasn’t his poison of choice for more reasons than one, which was why I’d been really fucking surprised when he pulled out that particular brand. But that was my brother, an ever-evolving enigma.
“Where d’you even get it?” I asked from across the bus.
“Doesn’t matter.” Typical Levi response. “And before you start bitching me out, I had one shot. I didn’t even plan on having that,” he mumbled.
“So why d’you do it?” Hudson asked the question I already knew the answer to.
It was her.
Eva.
She got to him. The guy, at times, not even I could reach. It was one of the reasons she was here. We’d all seen how she’d handled Levi back in the summer, at the party after the showdown finale. Eva hadn’t fallen at his feet like most girls, but she hadn’t cowered either. No, she’d held her ground and challenged him to a singing contest of all the fucking things.
She’d broken through whatever hell he lived in and distracted him.
Bottom line, Eva intrigued him. Whether it was because she was so pure and innocent and good, and he wanted to find out all the ways he could dirty up her soul, I didn’t know.
Thankfully, I wouldn’t ever have to find out.
Eva was off-limits—here to help smooth things over with our younger fans and bridge the appeal between our music and hers. Levi couldn’t make a move on her, the same way Hudson, Damon… or I couldn’t.
Levi bolted upright and flung his arms out, stretching. “I’ll be in the back bedroom. I need to sleep.”
“Sleep in the other one,” Hudson said.
My brother ignored him, padding down the bus like a zombie.
“Levi, come on, man, you know the deal. The back bedroom is for—”