by Katie Ashley
“Noah, I know that things are about to change, and our lives will never be the same. For almost eighteen years it’s been just you and me.”
“Yeah, it has.”
When Mom took my hand in hers, I braced myself. She was about to lay some serious shit on me. “I just want you to know that I’ve thanked God every day for giving me you. Even though you weren’t planned and the situation was hard, I wouldn’t trade any of it for a second. You’ve been the greatest accomplishment of my life.”
Holy shit. I stared at her in disbelief. The woman was a doctor for Christ sake, and she was telling me I was her ‘greatest accomplishment’. It was almost too much. I started to feel like I was under the surface of the water again as my lungs constricted in panic. Frantically, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
“Wow…I, uh, don’t know what to say,” I mumbled.
She smiled. “You don’t have to say anything—I just wanted you to know that. I’m sure things are going to get crazy when the baby comes and you are away at college, so I might not have another opportunity.”
Grammy rapped on the door. I squeezed Mom’s hand and drew in a ragged breath. “Yeah, well, I’m the one who outta be saying the thanks and stuff. You know, thanks that God gave me such an awesome mother.”
Tears sparkled in Mom’s blue eyes. “Noah, that’s so sweet!” she cried.
I groaned. “Stop, you can’t cry now! Grammy will kill me!”
She laughed and gently dabbed her eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll turn the waterworks off.”
Grammy didn’t bother knocking again. Instead, she threw open the door. With a broad grin and in her twangy drawl, she exclaimed, “It’s time, sugah!”
Mom and I both inhaled deeply. When we got to the doorway, I gave her my arm. “Ready?” I asked.
“As I’ll ever be,” she murmured. But the moment the doors opened and she saw Greg standing before her, Mom’s mouth widened into a radiating smile. And as much as I hated to admit it, the look on Greg’s face was one of absolute adoration. And that’s the only way I would have had it. She’d been through shit, and so had he. Mom told me about how the only girl he’d ever loved had gotten killed just before their wedding. When he started dating Mom, she was the first real relationship he’d had in years.
Walking your mother down the aisle to get married—it’s a really surreal feeling. When we reached the altar, I didn’t hesitate when Pastor Dan asked who gave Mom in marriage. I very proudly bellowed, “I do.”
It was a really nice service, and I guess I should give Gerard his due. Of course, if he had even tried laying one finger on me, I would have gone apeshit on him. Thankfully, he stayed the hell away from me, scurrying around to ensure everything was perfect for Mom.
Then after we took a million pictures in a million different poses, we started for the reception. Greg had rented a limo, and the bridal party rode in it to the country club. A tent lit by thousands of twinkling lights and candles sat on the golf course. Music billowed up the hillside from under the tent flaps, signaling the band was already in full swing when we arrived. Elegant tables set with fine china and crystal filled the tent, and at the far side was a wooden dance floor.
I craned my neck, searching for Maddie. I finally saw her sitting at table with her parents. For a moment, I was rooted to the floor. She seriously took my breath away with how beautiful she looked in her deep blue dress. It was pretty daring for her with its tiny straps, plunging neckline, and rather short hemline. Its sequins caught the candlelight and shimmered. Her dark hair was swept away from her face in a twist with little, curly pieces hanging down. I wanted nothing more than to jerk out the pins holding her hair up so I could run my fingers through the silky strands.
Trying to ignore the lovesick thoughts rolling through my head along with the ones steaming below my waist, I pushed myself forward and made my way over to her. “Hey,” I said as I strolled up to the table.
She grinned. “Hi.” Her gaze roamed over me, and she bobbed her head. “Wow, you look so nice.”
I ran my hand down my tux lapel. “Thanks. I do clean up well, don’t I?”
The Parkers and Maddie laughed as Gerard sashayed over to me. “Noah darling, it’s time for you to sing.”
For their first dance as man and wife, Mom wanted me to perform one of her favorite songs. It was cheesy as hell if you asked me—not me singing, but the song choice itself. It was from the movie What a Girl Wants, which my mom adored for some reason. Before Greg, I think she liked the fantasy of a long absent father coming back to his daughter and in turn reigniting the romance with the girl’s mother. In the end, Mom loved the song Long Time Coming, and she always liked to tease me that I sounded just like Oliver James who sang the song in the movie. I wasn’t too surprised when she asked me to sing it because when I really thought about it, the lyrics really did sound a lot like the shit she had been through and now the love she had found.
I nodded. “I’ll be right there.”
She arched her eyebrows teasingly at me about Gerard. “You better hurry, Noah darling.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh give me a break.”
She giggled. “I might just have to start calling you that.”
Leaning in closer to her, I challenged, “And I just might have to hurt you.”
“We’ll just see about that,” she replied with a wicked grin.
“I’ll come back when I’m done, okay?”
Maddie nodded. “Go and wow us.”
I headed over to the stage. Behind one of the giant amps was my guitar—a Fender Stratocaster. I pulled it out of the case and strummed a few chords to warm up. I plugged the amp in and then strode to the microphone. Tapping it a couple of times, I interrupted the buzz of conversation and clinking of silverware.
“Good evening. As the son of the bride, I’d like you all to join me in welcoming the happy couple, Greg and Maggie Anderson to the floor for their first dance.”
The room erupted in applause. Greg took Mom by the hand and led her to the middle of the floor. As I started the first chords, he drew her into his arms, and she beamed.
It was a surreal experience having an entire band playing with me, especially back-up singers. Once I finished, the crowd demanded an encore, which made me grin so hard my face hurt. So I kept singing. From Granddaddy’s instructions, I was able to play rockier versions of classics like Sinatra’s The Way You Look Tonight along with Etta James’s At Last. I kept it up while people finished their dinners, and then as Mom and Greg cut the wedding cake. They teasingly fed bites of sugary sweetness to each other before gleefully smashing each other’s faces full of icing. As they laughed in each other’s arms, I once again felt the familiar tightening in my chest. Focusing on the lyrics I sang, I pushed the unhappy thoughts from my mind. Instead, I was truly grateful that Mom had found love and happiness.
When I finally finished singing, everyone applauded and whistled again. I grinned. “Thank you. Now I’m going to turn it back over to the real band.”
After depositing my guitar, I hopped off the stage and weaved my way through the dancing couples. When I finally made it back over to Maddie’s table, it was empty. I whirled around and frantically searched the crowd. My heart stopped with every second I didn’t see her.
A hand tapped me on the shoulder. “Looking for me?”
When I spun around, Maddie grinned. I could barely disguise the whooshing breath of relief I exhaled at the sight of her. I licked my lips to wet where my mouth had gone dry. “Yeah, I was. I thought you’d bailed.”
Quirking her eyebrows at me, she said, “That’d be pretty sad having your date bail on you at your mother’s wedding.”
I laughed. “Yeah, it would be pretty pathetic.”
Maddie smiled. “Mom and Dad had to go to check on Josh. You’ll give me a ride home, right?”
“Of course.” I glanced out at the dance floor. “Hey, you wanna dance?”
“Um, I’m not that good at it,” Maddie answered.<
br />
“That’s true. I have seen you attempt it before.”
She playfully swatted me on the arm. “Whatever.”
“Come on then,” I urged, taking her hand in mine.
We edged our way between the couples to find a place under the sparkling lights. As I pulled her to me, she wrapped her arms around my neck while my arms crisscrossed her waist. Suddenly, conversation seemed to escape me. I couldn’t help focusing on the way her ample curves fit so deliciously against me, making my dick twitch in my pants. Her Noa perfume made my head spin as well. To get my thoughts off of how much I wanted her, I just blurted one of the first questions that popped into my head.
“So who did you go to prom with?”
Maddie peered up at me in surprise. “I didn’t go.”
“You didn’t? Not even for senior prom?”
She shook her head. “I went to Homecoming with Percy from church.”
I grimaced remembering that Percy was the glasses dude that Jake bummed homework off of. He had struck gold that a girl as hot as Maddie went with him. “But why didn’t you go to prom?” I pressed.
“Nobody asked me,” she said, softly.
That was fucking mind-blowing. How someone as beautiful, kind, and cool as she was could be dateless was beyond me. Then thoughts of Jake’s feelings for Maddie crept into my mind, and white hot anger coursed through me. Of course, he hadn’t asked her. It would have been too embarrassing for him to explain why he was taking a choir girl priss. Instead, he’d gone to Prom with the most beneficial choice for his reputation and his dick—Presley. What an incredible douchebag! Any painful feelings of loss escaped me in that moment, and if Jake hadn’t been dead, I would’ve wanted to kill him myself for being such a prick.
At the flush creeping on Maddie’s cheeks, I realized I must’ve embarrassed her. “Maddie, I can’t believe no one asked you. There’s too many jerks out there who don’t know what an awesome girl you are.”
She stared in shock at me for a minute before she finally smiled shyly. “Thanks Noah.”
“You’re welcome.”
We swayed in silence for a few minutes. When I glanced down at her, Maddie was biting her lip like she wanted to say something. Finally, she drew a ragged breath. “There was somebody I really wanted to go with, but he didn’t ask me.”
“Who?” I questioned, my heartbeat accelerating in my chest.
“No, it’s silly.”
“Tell me.”
Her dark eyes stared into mine. “Jake,” she whispered.
My heart shuddered to a stop before restarting. I fought to catch my breath as the voice of reason echoed through my mind. Tell her, Noah. Tell her about the ring and the song lyrics. But I couldn’t—my mouth felt cemented together.
A nervous laugh escaped Maddie’s lips. “Yeah, it’s stupid, I know. I mean, we were just good friends and all. Plus, I wouldn’t have been too much fun at the after prom parties.”
Dammit, you coward! Tell her! the voice screamed in my mind. I drew in a ragged breath. There was no turning back now. I had to tell her the truth. “Maddie, there’s something I need to tell you—”
“All right all you single ladies, move to the center of the floor. Maggie’s gonna throw the bouquet!” the DJ’s booming voice echoed over the sound system.
“Come on, Maddie. Let’s go try for it!” my cousin, Isabella, shouted, grabbing Maddie by the elbow and dragging her away.
I rolled my eyes up toward the glittering lights. Dammit! Just when I was about to come clean, a freakin’ bouquet toss stops me.
With all my mom’s family and friends, there were quite a few single ladies itching to grab a symbolic nod towards matrimony. The band leader gave a drum roll as Mom turned around. Then on the count of three, she hoisted the large bouquet over her shoulder.
Total chaos ensued as there was a mad dash. Snatching and grabbing women even knocked two of my cousins to the floor. With them down, the bouquet sailed easily into Maddie’s open arms.
Even though we weren’t officially together, I couldn’t help muttering, “Oh shit!” under my breath.
Alex glanced over at me and laughed. “You’re in for it now, cuz!” he joked. Although I hadn’t said a word about how I felt about Maddie, I knew he could see right through me. But at the same time there was something else I wasn’t telling him and that was about Jake and Maddie. He’d probably think I was a giant tool for not coming clean with her.
My thoughts were interrupted when a chair was brought to the center of the dance floor. Mom sat down as Greg knelt down before her. With a sly grin, he dipped his head halfway under her billowing dress and slipped her garter off with his teeth. All his friends, my uncles, and male cousins hooted and hollered. I, on the other hand, threw up a little in my mouth. Greg took it from his teeth and swung it triumphantly above his head before tossing it into the eager crowd.
Even though I was a single guy, I sure as hell wasn’t going to mow out people to win my mother’s garter. It was way too creepy. Thankfully, Greg’s best man ended up getting it. He twirled it around his finger, winked at Greg, and then drunkenly leered at Maddie. I dragged her away before he could insist on dancing with her as was sometimes customary.
After the bouquet and garter toss, Mom and Greg left to get changed. Once they finished, they would be leaving on their honeymoon. While we waited on their grand exit, Maddie and I ate some cake. As the sugar rush danced over my body, I glanced across the table to find Maddie staring dreamily in the space. “Hey,” I murmured.
“Hmm?” she asked.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Oh, I was just thinking how romantic the wedding was and how wonderful it is your mom found such a great guy after being alone for so long.”
“Yeah, it was nice.”
“I sure hope I don’t have to wait until I’m in my thirties to get married. I think twenty-five is a good age, don’t you?”
Frankly, I’d never given it much thought. I’d certainly never considered a “perfect” marrying age or anything. “I guess.”
Maddie raised her eyebrows. “Don’t you want to get married?”
“Sure, I do. I just haven’t given much thought to when.”
I thought about Jake and the ring. Eighteen was a long shot away from her model twenty-five. I still couldn’t fathom in my wildest thoughts the idea of Jake’s settling down—least of all at eighteen or nineteen. Maybe he had intended a long engagement. Or maybe it was like Jason had suggested—Jake had just bought the ring with the hopes of bagging her and then bailing. But the more I’d learned about the real Jake, the less I thought his motives behind the ring were insincere.
Thinking of him proposing, I asked, “What if you weren’t twenty-five? What if you were younger?”
Maddie shrugged. “As long as I was in love, it wouldn’t matter how old I was. Sure, I’d like to finish college and all, but when the right guy comes along, it won’t matter if I’m twenty or forty.”
Okay, dipshit, do it. It’s the perfect time to tell her. But once again, I was a selfish bastard and kept my mouth pinched shut. The prime moment once again passed me by. I was then interrupted with Mom and Greg saying their good-byes amidst a flurry of birdseed and bubbles. Mom hugged and kissed me bye. “I’ll call and check in on you every day, sweetheart.”
I laughed. “Mom, I’m seventeen. You don’t have to do that.” When she nibbled on her bottom lip, I said, “Don’t worry about me. You just go have fun with Greg on your honeymoon.” The moment those words left my lips I cringed.
“Okay, I will.”
Greg and I gave each other one of those awkward man handshakes. “Have a good time,” I said.
“Thanks.” Greg patted my back. “And thanks again for coming around about me—it means so much to Maggie, but it means a hell of a lot to me too.”
My mouth gaped open in surprise. I hadn’t anticipated him saying something like that. “Sure man. I’m glad to,” I finally replied.
&nb
sp; After Greg and Mom left, the reception wound down, and it was time to go. My conscience weighed heavy on me that I hadn’t come clean about Jake to Maddie. Even when I was alone with her on the way home, I still didn’t tell her. I mean, hell, it should have been a fucking cake walk. I should’ve been able to turn to her and say, “Maddie, Jake was in love with you. So much so he wanted to marry you, and here’s a ring. Have a nice life.” I don’t know what it was that made it impossible.
Maybe it was the sweet smell of her perfume that drove me wild with longing. Or maybe it was the way our hands brushed against each other sometimes when I shifted gears. Or maybe it was how much I enjoyed having her with me—just the two of us like we were meant to be together.
So I just couldn’t find the words. And I began to wonder if I ever would.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was Thursday night, and Maddie and I were coming out of the movies. We’d spent every night together that week. Monday night we’d studied for our finals. I’d even been a good boy and gone to church with her on Wednesday night. It was getting serious. Way more serious than I’d ever bargained for. It wasn’t about Jake anymore. It was about me truly being in love for the first time in my entire life.
Yeah, I was also a giant ass for scamming on my dead best friend’s girl—or at least the girl he had feelings for. I tried defending myself by thinking about how Jake treated her—hiding her away, only acknowledging her as a friend. I tried not to think about the carat of commitment or the song lyrics. If I did, it just made me seem horrible.
I was lost in my thoughts as we walked down the sidewalk. “Earth to Noah!” Maddie said, waving her hand in front of my face.
“Huh?”
She grinned. “Didn’t you hear me?”
“I’m sorry. I was thinking about something else.”
She cocked her head at me, and her smile widened. “Yeah, I thought so.” She stopped walking and motioned towards the coffee shop on the corner.