by Anna Lewis
It started with emotional abuse – comments about my weight and my appearance, digs for ‘flirting’ every time I spoke to a man – everything he said chipped away more and more of my confidence until I was nothing more than a shell of my former self; a state that I still found myself in. Before Jon, I was a fairly carefree, happy, confident kind of woman – and I really hoped that one day, once I’d fully recovered from all of this – I could find that version of myself once more.
It wasn’t long before the first slap came. I could easily recall it, as if it had only just happened, and when I did, the skin on my face prickled with the memory. The first time he slapped me was because I wore something that he deemed too revealing. After that, he seemed to hit me for even more minor things than that. It quickly became that I could do nothing right. Worst, I was too afraid to leave him. I even started to blame myself. He had me fully under his spell, and there seemed to be nothing that I could do about it.
Well, looking back, I could have and I should have, but I didn’t. I remained cowardly – a personality trait that I had been trying to overcome for a long time.
It was only when I overheard Jon discussing his money laundering scheme with a girl half his age – a girl he’d clearly been sleeping with – that I finally worked up the courage to go. I already assumed that he was cheating on me – and to be honest I didn’t care because it seemed to make him happy, and when he was happy he was less likely to lash out – but to find out that he would so willingly discuss what seemed like criminal activities with these bimbos meant that I could be implicated, too, even though I knew nothing and had no involvement. After all, if he told his mistress, who would believe that he would not also tell me?
The threat of prison is what finally pushed me into action. I refused to go to prison for that man. Not after all his abuse.
Until then, I never really knew where Jon’s money came from, and I never wanted to find out. But as soon as I did discover the truth, I left with the clothes on my back and I didn’t look back. I never wanted to be in the same city as him again, never mind house. I had barely anything, and no idea where to go, but for the first time in a very long time I felt a sense of relief.
I had a little bit of money squirreled away that I’d been stashing for a long time, just in case I ever needed it. That got me the bus ticket to Minnesota, far away from Jon and his dealings. There, I was lucky to land a job in a country town. I thought it was safer to be away from a big city. I was employed in a café, and it had cheap board too. It was the perfect solution for someone like me who needed to remain anonymous and in the background.
I might not have had much in my life, but it was much better than before, and I was so pleased about that. For anyone else, this existence might have seemed silly and meaningless, but to me it was mine and I couldn’t have been prouder of it.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked the suited man who clearly had all kinds of money at his disposal. We got all sorts in here, so nothing surprised me, but there was something about this man that had me intrigued.
There was something different about him, and I couldn’t work out what it was, but for some reason I wanted to know more – and that was a feeling that I hadn’t experienced for a very long time.
But of course I couldn’t. Not until I was fully repaired inside. I would just have to admire this tall, dark and very handsome man from afar. He might have been muscular and very smartly dressed for this small time café, but that wouldn’t be enough to draw me in. Not until I was ready.
“Yes, please.” He smiled warmly back. “I would like a black coffee and a continental breakfast please.”
“Coming right up,” I said with a smile as I wrote down his order.
As I walked back to the kitchen, I help smiling. There was no denying that my body was flying all over the place with what he’d made me feel.
***
Aaron
As I glanced up at the beautiful, pale skinned, red-haired waitress who had bangs so thick that they practically covered her eyes, I felt a stirring inside of me – one that hadn’t been there for a very long time.
I felt intrigue, interest, and desire.
I shuffled in my seat, wondering what to do about that. The waitress looked shy, quiet and very sweet, and for some reason that drew me in more. It was as though she were my opposite, and I was very attracted to that.
I normally kept women at arm’s length because I always found that they were only ever after one thing. As soon as they learned that I was a billionaire, all they wanted was my money and the things that I could buy for them, and it had just about put me off for life.
There was one woman, Emma, whom I had fallen for when I was much younger. Emma was a stunning older woman that set my world alight, but she turned out to be a manipulative moneygrubber. She ditched me the day after our wedding, absolutely crushing me. She left me bereft, but that was only the start of it. Her divorce settlement paid her handsomely, thanks to clever lawyers, but ended up almost destroying the business that I’d built up from scratch, and costing me a fortune.
But I worked hard to restore my company and my wealth, and I wouldn’t ever do anything to risk it again.
After Emma, I vowed that I would wait until I found someone that was truly worthy of my affections before giving anything back again, and for some reason, it felt like this woman, this small-town waitress with the shy, smiling eyes, was her. I wasn’t sure what had me so convinced, it was just an instinct deep inside, an instinct that somehow overcame all the doubts and fears I had about women after Emma.
As she brought my order over to my table, I couldn’t help but wonder why she seemed so shrunken in on herself. Why did she hold herself as though she did not want people to see her? It was as if she was trying to hide away from the world. She was gorgeous and lovely to boot, so why didn’t she want anyone to see her?
It made me like her even more.
“Thank you, Chantelle,” I smiled, reading the name from her badge. “That’s wonderful, it all looks amazing.”
“Oh erm, you’re welcome.” The way her face flushed bright red had my heart melting for her. She was adorable, and I couldn’t help wanting to know more. She was about to leave my table, but I couldn’t let her go just yet.
“So, have you lived here long?” I asked. Her eyes widened at my interest in her, and she quickly shook her head no. “So, you probably don’t know the place very well then?” Again she shook her head no, so I asked, “Would you like me to show you about sometime?” I figured a woman this shy wouldn’t respond too well to be asked out on a date outright, so I thought that doing it in a roundabout way would be the best way to break down those walls.
“Oh, I… I…” she stammered, looking increasingly anxious with each passing second. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She was saying no? That took me aback. I wasn’t expecting that at all. Sure she wasn’t like anyone else I’d ever met, but I’d become so convinced that we were meant to be that it felt weird to be rejected.
“Thank you though, that’s really kind,” she continued, too diplomatically or my liking.
As she walked off, leaving me behind, totally speechless, I made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going to let her go. I knew that I probably should let her go, as she was clearly dealing with something heavy to be so subdued, but I liked her enough to persist. I hadn’t felt like this for such a long time that it felt like a shame just to ignore it and let it pass me by.
I decided that I would return to this café every day until she agreed to a date. I was so confident that there was something between us that I was certain she would eventually give in to me.
***
Chantelle
The rich man, the one that I now knew was called Aaron, started coming into my workplace every single day, and every time it ended in the same way – he would ask me out on some form of date, and I would refuse yet again.
I didn’t like rejecting him one bit because he
was so sweet and lovely, and I could tell that he really liked me. I liked him too. He was gorgeous, lovely and well-to-do – every woman’s dream – but I couldn’t go out with him, not yet. It was too soon after Jon. It just didn’t feel right. I knew for a fact that my head wasn’t in the right place. Now wasn’t the time. I didn’t want to mess something up that could be amazing.
I didn’t want Jon to take yet another thing from me. I needed the control that he had over my life gone forever.
“I’m going to ask you again, sweetheart,” said Aaron. He gave me that heart stopping grin, and it took all that I had not to completely fall apart. I was never going to be able to keep this up forever, he was utterly irresistible. “Will you go to dinner with me tonight?” he said.
I bit my lip, gazing at him for just a little too long, and I felt the answer on my lips – the ‘no’ that I always gave – but somehow, this time it didn’t quite come.
Could I?
Was I really considering this?
How much would I hate it if he actually gave up asking me out?
My heart pounded as my mind span. I kept telling myself to just get my rejection out there before his hopes got too high, but it was too late. He was already looking at me with a wide eyed mixture of plea and happiness. I couldn’t crush that now, but I couldn’t break my promise to myself either. Could I?
Could I?
“Yes,” I heard myself answering before I’d fully thought it through. “I would love to go out with you, thank you.”
What? What was I doing? Why was I saying that?
But the way that his face shone with happiness made me feel a sense of pride. Maybe it was time to stop letting the past rule my present, maybe it was time to move on after all.
Oh God, was I really doing this? Was I actually starting to move forward?
***
Aaron
“Yes, I would love to go out with you, thank you.”
As she finally said the words that I’d been longing to hear, I felt my heart skip a beat. It had only taken a few weeks since I started to visit Chantelle in the café, and those weeks had been the best time of my life. Life was just better with her in my day. Nothing that came before had ever compared. Spending precious moments with this sweet self-deprecating girl had opened my eyes to a world that I’d long shut off. I’d spent far too much time around gold diggers and airheads that I forget there were decent women in the world.
“Okay, great,” I said, smiling brightly, feeling more anxious than I let on. Now that I’d gotten the ‘yes’ I almost didn’t know what to do with it. “Shall I pick you up at eight?”
“Erm…” her pale face suggested that she didn’t like my plan at all. “Can I meet you somewhere? I just feel a little…”
“Okay sure,” I jumped in quickly. Not wanting anything to put her off. I didn’t want her to back down now – that would be awful. “Shall I meet you outside here at eight?” I prayed that she would agree. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if she turned me down again.
“Okay,” she said. She looked visibly relieved at my new suggestion, which allowed a sense of relief to flood over me. “That sounds great.”
As she turned around to walk away, I felt a sense of happiness overcome me. I vowed that I would give this girl the date of her life. I could see that she really deserved it, and that she needed it.
I thought over everything that I’d ever done on dates in the past, but none of it felt good enough for Chantelle. I’d been out for the fanciest dinners, seen the best theater shows, spent nights in the most exclusive nightclubs. But none of that felt good enough for her. She wasn’t the materialistic type, which meant that I was going to have to go for something different.
And then an idea hit me, and I raced from the café, excited to get it all organized.
This was going to be amazing!
***
Chantelle
As I stood outside the café, nervously tapping my feet against the cold, concrete ground, I felt like I wanted to give up on more than one occasion. I hated everything about the way I looked and the things I was wearing, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I hadn’t brought any nice clothes with me when I ran away from Jon, and I hadn’t had a lot to spend since, so I only had one fairly decent plain black dress that I’d purchased for my job interview. Then I didn’t have anything to make my hair look good, so it was just hanging loosely down my back, and I didn’t have any makeup with me so my face was scrubbed clean. I was sure that I looked all wrong, but it was too late to do anything about that now.
It wasn’t ever going to be enough. I was sure that Aaron normally went out with rich supermodel types, and I had no idea why I’d agreed to this date. I really should have stuck to my original plan of saying no.
Ugh, my insecurities were going to be the death of me!
“Hi,” that familiar, manly voice called out from behind me, shaking me from my negative thought spiral, and causing me to spin around in surprise. I half-expected him to do something ridiculously flashy like turn up in a limousine or something, so I was glad that he hadn’t. I don’t think I would have been able to cope with that. But he had arrived on foot, which meant that we would be walking to our destination – perfect. “Are you okay Chantelle?” he asked, looking genuinely concerned, which proved that my emotions must have been all over my face.
“Yeah,” I gasped, trying to sound more confident than I felt. I needed him to think that I at least sort of had it together! I didn’t want him to see any of my vulnerabilities – I just wasn’t ready for that just yet. “I’m fine.”
“Let’s go,” he replied, brushing over my awkwardness. Then he took my arm in his and he swept me along. I was glad for the sudden switch of activity – it took my mind off things.
As soon as he started to talk, everything else melted away. All of my fears, worries, and insecurities just vanished. Aaron had this way of putting me at ease, even when I was feeling my worst, which made me glad that I’d agreed to this date. No one had ever made me feel that way before, and it was exactly what I needed at this point in my life.
I had butterflies floating all over my body, which I knew were dangerous because they could lead to feelings, but I couldn’t stop them from flapping. Aaron had me feeling like I never had before, and that terrified and excited me in equal measures. This wasn’t like the way that things were with Jon – even in the beginning. This felt different, but in a really good way.
“Now, I have a choice for you,” he offered as we walked along the river bank, in what felt like the most romantic setting ever. “We can either go to the French restaurant at the edge of town…” My heart sank at his words – that was an extremely ritzy place, the sort of building I would never fit in at. But then he continued, managing to lift my spirits all over again. “Or, we could go to the library café that’s just opened.”
“Library café?” I asked curiously, unsure as to what he was referring to. “I’ve only just moved here quite recently, so I’m not sure where that is.”
He smiled to himself, before continuing to speak. “It’s this new, themed café which is filled with library books. It’s decorated like an old fashioned library.”
“Like in Beauty and the Beast?” I asked excitedly, forgetting myself for a moment. I just revealed a very dorky side of myself, and I panicked that it might just put him off.
Luckily, he seemed to understand my reference and he laughed loudly and kindly. “Something like that. I take it that’s where you would prefer to go then? You’d rather that over the French place?”
“Oh my God, yes!” I gasped, not even needing the time to think about it. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. “That sounds amazing.”
“Well that’s good,” he shot me a heart-stopping grin. “Because I already went ahead and booked the whole place out for us tonight.”
“What?” I gasped in shock. “How did you know?”
“I could just tell.”
Those words had me flying
high. Somehow Aaron seemed to see right into me, even though I was trying to keep myself hidden, and that made me feel incredibly special.
***
The night that followed was easily one of the best of my entire life – if not the best. I felt like I was living in a real life fairy tale, a dream, but it was real. The library was amazing, the books were wonderful, and so was the food. But what made it best of all was Aaron. He was sweet, charming, and I was enjoying being with him so much.
As he told me his life story, I was really interested and listened intently. He was absolutely fascinating. Then when I told him mine, leaving out only the bleak parts, he asked all the right questions showing. He seemed genuinely interested in me.
The more time I spent in his presence, the more my desire grew for him too. It wasn’t just his amazing body that had me going, it was him. His personality, his nature, him. I’d never felt anything as strong before, and I couldn’t block it out no matter what.
So when he turned to me and he asked if I wanted to see his home, I didn’t hesitate for even a second. I might have been unsure when the night started, but now the desire that was coursing through my body was ruling me. I wanted this guy, and not even my shitty past was going to get in the way of that.
“Yes, thank you,” I panted as a response. “I’d love that.”
He held my hand in his, giving me a look that suggested he might just kiss me, but instead he tugged my arm and pulled me upwards instead.
“Okay, come on. Let’s go.”
***
Aaron
I couldn’t believe it when Chantelle agreed to come back with me. I hadn’t planned to ask her. I’d only asked on a whim, but I couldn’t deny how happy I was when she said yes. She liked me and she wanted to spend more time with me. This date had been a roaring success.
Not that I had any expectations, all I knew was that I wasn’t ready for the night to end. We could do whatever she wanted – I would be happy no matter what.