by Anna Lewis
“Yes,” I gasped in a bit of a state of shock. “Yes, please.”
***
It took almost a whole bottle of wine for me to forget all of my worries, but luckily that didn't take long for us to drink. Once that was gone, we laughed, joked, and had a really great time with one another. I found myself incredibly disappointed for the evening to come to an end.
“Come on,” Arden grinned as he paid the bill. “Let me walk you home, my lady.”
I was just about to insist that I didn't need him to, when I found myself swaying on my feet. Oops, maybe I'd actually drunk a little bit too much after all…
“Yeah, okay, sounds good,” I chuckled. “Thank you.”
He wrapped his arms around me, and held me close to him, allowing me to inhale his sweet, citrusy scent. There was something amazing about that smell, something that made me feel safe and needed. My heart fluttered with anticipation of where this night might end. I hadn't much thought about anything past actually getting in to the restaurant and having dinner. Now all that I could concentrate on was what might happen next…
I could still feel it, that feeling between us, the chemistry that wasn't going anywhere. I knew that there had definitely been something between me and Muth, but there was no denying that I felt a lot for Arden too. I liked him and I wanted him. A lot, as a matter of fact.
“So, how are you finding it here?” he asked as we walked, making me notice that we'd been in silence for far too long. “Do you like it as much as you thought you would? I could never wait to get here.”
“I didn't actually know that I was coming until just before. My grandma never told me.”
“Why not?” he asked, totally shocked by the idea. “Why on Earth would she keep that from you?”
“Well, I suppose I never showed any interest in the outside world,” I said. I cringed as I admitted this, remembering the sheltered person I'd once been. “But now I'm so glad that I'm here. I don't know what I'd be doing otherwise. I don't know how I would even live!”
He laughed appreciatively at this, sensing my drunken exaggeration. “Well I have to say that I'm glad you're here too. I never had much experience with humans before, and I have to say that you're an interesting bunch. Especially if you are anything to go by!”
“What?” I screeched, unable to believe what he was saying. “But humans are so boring. We don't change, we don't have any cool powers, we're just… normal.”
“No, you aren't,” he replied with a wistfulness to his voice. “You might not have the obvious powers that you think we do, but the way that your emotions wash over you, the way that you express yourselves, the depth that you feel things… it's intoxicating. I can finally see how shapeshifters fall for humans.”
His voice had changed now. It had become huskier, filled with something intense, and it made every part of my body prick up with desire. He turned me to face him, with desire flooding his gaze, and I had to gulp noisily to stop myself from moaning with passion. He was about to kiss me, I could sense it emanating from him, and I was conflicted.
I wanted him to kiss me, so damn badly, but I was afraid too. I had no idea what it would be like, how good I would be, how it would make me feel, and all my anxieties simply flooded to the surface.
He grew nearer, and my heart almost stopped beating completely. His breath tickled my lips and I felt like I might melt. I could almost sense the hum of his body as it pressed up against mine. This was it, it was really happening, I was finally getting my first real kiss…
Then his lips crashed hard against mine, and absolutely everything changed.
***
Oh my God, oh my God…
I was pacing my room, getting increasingly worked up, all by the memory of Arden's lips. That kiss was incredible, better than I'd ever experienced, and it was making me breathless just thinking about it.
He started off slow and sweet, turning me into a puddle in front of him. I had to hold onto him, just to keep myself upright. Then, he kicked things up a notch by snaking his tongue between my lips and making things harder and faster. As the pressure changed, his hands got themselves all tangled up in my hair, and I found myself pressing up against him, losing myself in his body.
He was amazing. So phenomenal. I felt like I was absolutely addicted to him.
As we pulled away from one another, I almost ended up inviting him up to my bedroom. I mean, I never thought that I was the sort of girl who would have her first kiss and lose her virginity on the same night, but Arden made me forget everything sensible.
Luckily, he said a swift goodbye and left before I got the chance to. Although I was disappointed about it, I was also glad. Things were already moving quickly enough.
I needed to speak to someone, and I knew that Sephy would be asleep, which left me with only one other person. I picked up the phone and dialed.
While I waited for Grandma to answer, I hopped from foot to foot, unable to keep still for even a second.
Ring, ring…
Oh God, why wasn't she answering yet? Was she asleep? I felt like I might just burst if I couldn't share it with anyone…
“Hello?”
“Oh thank God, you're there,” I burst out with exhilaration as soon as she answered. “I have so much to tell you.”
“Sounds like you're having fun,” she chuckled happily. “I've been thinking about you a lot.”
All of a sudden that guilt filled me up once more. Grandma was probably missing me like crazy, and I'd barely even given her a second thought. “Oh… I'm sorry, are things okay?”
“Things are great, dear, I've been out having lots of fun with my friends. Doesn't mean I can't wonder what you're up to as well.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. That sounded positive, like she wasn't heartbroken and suffering from empty nest syndrome. “Oh well, things have been crazy here…” I paused for a second, just for dramatic effect. “I even went out on a date.”
“You did?” she sounded thrilled for me. “That's such wonderful news. Tell me all about it.”
“It was with Arden, did I tell you about him? The dragon?”
“Ah, dragons...” She sounded wistful at the memory. “I remember the dragon boy that I had a fling with.”
“You did?” I practically screamed. I couldn't imagine my grandma being with anyone else other than my grandpa, but I guessed it made sense. It wasn't common to have just one partner forever now, was it? “Wow, what was he like?”
“Ooh, he was handsome… you know what they're like. But it didn't last long.”
“Why not?” I was so intrigued by her story that it took my mind off my own… if only for a few moments. I slumped on my bed and listened intently.
“Well because my friends and I were so interested in the shapeshifters. We wanted to know what it was like to be with them all.”
“And none of them stuck?” I asked curiously. How could she go through such an exciting time, just to end up with a human? I was glad of course, that led me to being born, but I did want to know more. How had I never heard this story before? Had I really been that uninterested in shapeshifters?
“There was a vampire that I liked very much, but I left. I came back home, and that was the end of all of it.”
That filled me with a weird sense of loss. One day that would be me too, returning back home, leaving this all behind. The plan that had helped me get here now felt like the most restricting thing. It made me feel numb and empty.
“Then I met your grandfather and fell in love, so it all ended up happy.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, only half listening now. Her story had given me so much to think about. But there was something that she had me certain about…. Dragons. I couldn't even imagine being with any of the other species. They just didn't hold the same appeal for me. The vampires were far too perfect and intimidating for me, the wolves were too hasty, too fiery, too speedy… Dragons were the only ones who I felt attracted to at all.
“Anyway, how did
you date go?” she asked, bringing me back into the present moment. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
“So much,” I replied quietly. “Too much.”
How was I going to go back now? How could I end up like my grandma, married to a human man? How could I leave this magical life behind? Everything about this place was wonderful, it had already changed me in ways that I hadn't expected, and now I wasn't sure that I could just go back to that version of myself and my life.
But I couldn't stay… could I? I mean, what would I even do here? I couldn't leave my grandma behind, I couldn't forget my past life, I couldn't just stay…
So what the hell was I going to do?
“Come on, tell me everything,” Grandma insisted, sensing my inner turmoil. “I bet I can help you. I've been through it all.”
At least I had her, at least I had someone on my side to help me, at least I wasn't alone…
***
To be honest, laying it all out for my grandma hadn't helped me as much as I might have hoped. It was nice to get some of it off my chest, but of course she didn't have the direct answers for me. She just listened and told me that it was my life, and that I should do with it whatever I had to.
The only problem was I had no idea what that was.
After an almost totally sleepless night, I made me way up to the library. Since I had no training scheduled that morning, I decided to do some research of my own. Not only would that serve to give me some much-needed thinking time alone, it would give me the chance to do some extra reading on dragons. If I wanted to date one, never mind… whatever else, then I felt like I needed to be better equipped with information.
As I scanned my eyes through endless books, sucking up the facts like a sponge, my mind went to places that it had never gone before. I actually began to wonder what it would be like to be a hybrid. I'd never even dreamed about it before, but now it was a real possibility that I had to consider.
Sure, that was moving very quickly from only one date, but I couldn't pursue this thing with Arden without deciding what I might or might not like to do further down the line.
Would I like to be part dragon? Sure, I wouldn't be able to fly or anything, but I would live a lot longer. I'd look different too – more dragon-like. That part would be quite cool. I'd always thought that I was a little plain looking. It would be quite exciting to look more special...
But it would mean giving up on so much too, and that was scary. I didn't think the narrow-minded older generation of my home town would readily accept me back with a dragon in tow, and I can't imagine anyone as interesting as Arden wanting to live there either. It would mean either staying here, or moving on somewhere else… both thoughts were too terrifying for me…
“Hey there,” a silky voice suddenly broke through my deep thought barrier. “It's Hattie, right?”
As my eyes traveled up his body, I already knew who it was but I had to fully see him first to accept that it was him. And when my eyes eventually connected with his, I felt the world fall out from beneath me, leaving me with swirling, crazy emotions.
All of a sudden, Sephy's words filled my mind once more:
“That's so weird. I could have sworn that there was some sort of… unspoken chemistry between you and Muth the other day.”
Oh God, how the hell was I going to handle this now?
“Erm, y… yeah,” I stammered awkwardly, my cheeks flaming with humiliation. I wanted to be cool, calm, and collected, but it seemed like that was never going to be me. “I'm Hattie. You're Muth?”
“I am,” he chuckled lightly. “Can I sit with you?”
There went my quiet morning, but for Muth I didn't mind. He seemed to turn my brain to total mush. He was too good looking, it was so challenging to even think around him.
“Of course you can.”
As he sat down, I felt heat pouring off of him, and that made me acutely aware of his body position. It also made me feel extremely needy for him, in a way that I could barely control.
“So, we haven't really met properly, have we?” he asked, shaking my hand. I shook my head quickly as electricity raced up my arm to my heart. “I have been here for so long, and you're the first face I've ever really noticed in the revolving door of people.”
Oh God, this was too intense, too much for me. I did feel bad about Arden as I sat there feeling a flirtatious atmosphere surrounding me and Muth, but I couldn't seem to help myself.
“Really?” I heard myself asking. “Why is that?”
“I don't know what it is about you,” he mused thoughtfully, making my heart race a whole lot faster as he studied me intensely. “There's something different about you… something special.”
This, about me, coming from him… it was almost laughable. He was so handsome, so sexy, and he was saying that about me? I was stunned.
“I… I… thank you…” I stammered like an idiot. “I don't really know what to say.”
“You're sweet too,” his hand crept ever closer to mine, making me tremble with anticipation. Every fiber inside of me was screaming at me that this was oh so wrong, but in the moment, in the hazy lust surrounding us both, I couldn't seem to do anything about it. “Are you going to the party tomorrow night? I'm not quite sure who's holding it, but it should be fun.”
I vaguely remembered Sephy mentioning something about the party to me, and if she wanted to go then there wouldn't be much hope of me getting out of it. “Erm, yeah I think so,” I said. I tried to smile back, but I wasn't entirely sure that it came across that way.
“Well that's wonderful,” he gave me such a genuine happy smile that it made my stomach turn over with butterflies. “I'll have to come and find you there.”
And then he was gone, and I felt cold and lost. I did my best to bury my head back into my book, to shut my thoughts off, but they kept reeling in over and over again.
What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't be arranging trips to parties with another guy after that wonderful date with Arden. But… what if Muth wasn't as into me as I was him? What if I blew Muth off just to find out that Arden only saw us as friends?
Or was I trying to give myself an excuse to do something that I already knew that I wanted to do? Was I the absolute worst person around? Why did I keep digging my already complicated hole even deeper? What the hell was wrong with me?
***
“This party is incredible!” Sephy yelled in my ear, trying to be heard over the thumping of the music.
I smiled back, swigging my drink quickly. I was happy to be here, excited to be having fun with my friends, but I was so anxious that Arden was with us, so nervous that Muth would be here. Although nothing else had happen with either guy, I wasn't sure how to act around any of them, and if we all ended up together I feared my head might explode.
“Shall we get some more drinks?” I asked quietly. The only way that I could even begin to survive this was to get drunk. That way I could at least blame any strange behavior on that.
I had the horrible sense that I'd been acting awfully, leading two guys on, and that it would come to a head tonight… when I really wasn't ready for it.
“I'll grab them,” said Arden. He grinned at me, sending me a wink, one that only served to make me feel even worse inside.
“Oh God,” I panted to myself as he finally left us alone. I needed a moment by myself to just breathe, but unfortunately Sephy and her amazing hearing was never going to let that happen.
“Bathroom,” she insisted, grabbing hold of my arm. “Something is going on with you and I need to know what.”
I honestly felt bad that I hadn't told her anything yet, but I'd been too afraid. When it was just me with feelings for two guys, that was one thing, but now that I'd actually been out with Arden, it felt like it was that much more of a betrayal. I felt like I was a horrible person, and I didn't particularly want to share that version of myself with my friend.
“Okay, spill,” she demanded as soon as the door closed behind us. “Why are you
being so weird? Is it Arden? Do you not like him?”
“No, I do,” I retorted quickly. “I meant what I said the other night. I really did have a good time on our date, it's just...” my head fell into my hands as the shame overcame me. “It's Muth, I like him, I really do.”
“I knew it!” she interrupted triumphantly. “Sorry, sorry, this isn't about me... carry on.”
“Well, I never thought that he would like me too, but we had this really charged conversation in the library, and now I'm all confused,” I said. I felt emotionally exhausted, drained, like the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders, but all Sephy did was laugh.
“Oh my God, is that it?” she squealed happily. “I thought it was something like... really drastic.”
“Isn't it?” I exclaimed, having tortured myself over this, it did feel dramatic to me. “I mean, I don't want to hurt anyone.”
She grabbed hold of my shoulders and stared deeply into my eyes. “Look, are you marrying either of them?” I shook my head, wondering where she was going with this. “Then you need to stop panicking. You have very human ideals, and the shapeshifters don't necessarily think the same way. The guys won’t mind if you date them both at once, as long as you're honest. Who knows, they might even both want you at once!”
“Oh God,” the mere thought of that made me feel a little faint... but not as put off as I might have once assumed. It was scary, but also a little exciting too. Dragons were supposed to be the kinky ones after all...
“Come on,” said Sephy. She smiled warmly at me, reassuring me a little bit. “Let's get back out there. Have some fun, and please stop worrying.”
“I will,” that part I could do. I could at least stop feeling like everything was coming to an end. This was supposed to be an enjoyable experience after all...
***
Somehow, at some point in the night, I ended up a little drunker than I expected to. I wasn't wasted or anything, just tipsy enough to shed my inhibitions and get up on the dance floor. The music was loud, the floor was filled with sweaty, moving bodies. It felt like the only logical thing to do.