by Lori L. Otto
“Do you think your parents will find out? I mean, I honestly don’t think you can hide this. It’s everywhere.”
“I know I can’t.” I open the door all the way and let him in. He sets down his laptop bag by the front door and gives me a hug. “I told them already.” His grip loosens as he stands up straight.
“Where are they?” he whispers.
“In the kitchen,” I whisper back, half-mocking him.
“What did you tell them?”
“Everything about that weekend.”
“Should I leave?”
“I don’t think you should,” I tell him. “I think my dad might have some questions.”
“Shhh... shoot me now, Liv.”
“They’re taking it surprisingly well, actually.”
“Well, they’re not going to kill their own daughter,” he argues.
“Jon, just... come on.” I hold his hand and start leading him into the kitchen.
“Bring your laptop, if that’s what’s in the bag,” my dad says loudly.
“I’ll delete it,” he says to me, letting go of my hand and going back for the bag.
“Why not?” I ask him with a flippant shrug of my shoulders, speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear. “You can visit any New York social blog anytime for a peek.”
“Livvy,” my mom says, her tone obviously unappreciative of my sarcasm. Jon’s glare once he meets us in the kitchen tells me he doesn’t care for it, either.
“You absolutely cannot,” my dad says. “I’m fairly certain there are child pornography laws that protect us from this sort of thing.”
“It’s not pornography–” Jon argues.
“I’m not a child–” I speak up.
“Number one,” Dad starts, “Livvy, no matter what adult decisions you and Jon have chosen to make together, you’re still only seventeen, and legally not an adult. Hell, you weren’t even seventeen yet, Livvy!” He throws up his hands, just now coming to this realization that the picture was taken when I was still sixteen–barely, but still.
I bite my lip, unsure of how to respond. I don’t.
“And number two,” he addresses Jon, “taking a photo of a minor in lingerie is considered pornographic in many circles.”
“Jack, it’s not–”
“Not to mention, in many states, what you two did together would be considered statutory rape.” I feel my cheeks heat up as I watch all of the color drain from Jon’s face.
“Jacks, that’s uncalled for,” my mom interjects.
“Not in New York,” Jon defends our actions.
“Why aren’t you mortified by this, Liv?” my dad asks, ignoring my boyfriend. “How can you be calm about it?”
“Because I’m not naked in the picture, Dad. In fact, I’m wearing more in this picture than I was in the pictures they took of me at the beach last summer.”
“Yes, but a girl in a bikini doesn’t advertise to the world that she’s having sex.”
“Dad, please don’t make this about that. I’m not ashamed of what we did. In fact, I’m happy that my first time was with someone I really care about.”
“You know I love her,” Jon reiterates, but not confidently, as he makes no eye contact when he says it.
“I don’t think this is as bad as you’re making it out to be,” my mom admits.
“Emi, please don’t encourage them. Let me see your laptop,” Dad orders Jon.
“We can delete it, Jack,” he says once more.
“The damage is done, Jon,” he says. “The whole world already knows that someone’s screwing around with my daughter–”
“Jon,” my mom says, and we all look at her. “Jon’s name is in here, too. He’s actually credited with taking the picture. The caption states, ‘Livvy Holland, daughter of New York philanthropist, Jackson Holland, poses in lingerie for her boyfriend, Columbia student Jon Scott.’”
“Who would know that fact?”
“Maybe whoever found it just assumed I took it. I mean, who else would?”
“It’s not exactly a mystery,” Mom says. “This article says it was stumbled upon by your roommate.”
“My roommate?”
“That’s what it says.”
“Which one?” I ask him.
“I told Fred about the picture, Liv, but he never saw it, and I know he wouldn’t do that to me. It had to be Shu or Hollis.”
“Which one’s the hacker?” Dad asks.
Jon’s answer is easy when my father puts it that way. “Hollis.”
“I hope this Hollis kid isn’t someone you like,” my dad says, typing away on Jon’s laptop.
“He’s not anymore,” Jon says, sullen at the realization that one of his new friends would betray him.
“When you get involved with this family, Jon, you have to be cautious of every damn person you meet. Trust is not something that’s ever assumed with anyone.”
“I see that now. Jack, I’m really sorry.”
“Wait- where’d you get a key to the loft?” my dad asks abruptly.
“I had a copy made one day,” I admit.
“I want it.” I walk to my purse and take it off my keyring. He grabs it from my hand. “Are there more? Jon, do you have a copy?”
“No, sir,” Jon says. “Livvy had the only copy.”
“You’re not getting this back until you’re eighteen, do you understand?” he asks. I nod. “I’d hold it until you were twenty-one if that hadn’t been a condition of Donna’s will. I have no doubt she’d agree with me, if she could.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“I think she’d be really disappointed in your actions. This is no way for a proper young girl to act.”
“Don’t bring her into this. You didn’t know her like I did, Dad. She accepted me, wholeheartedly.”
“You’re implying I don’t?”
“Do you? It doesn’t feel like it right now.”
I stare at him hard, but he doesn’t back down. “I’m disappointed in your actions. And whatever you’ve been paying those doormen to keep your little secret, forget about it. They’re on my payroll now, and I will out-bribe you any day of the week, do you understand?”
“Well, yeah, but remember you have the key now,” I remind him, not trying to be smart but realizing it sounded that way anyway.
He glares at me for a second before pocketing the key and focusing his attention back on Jon’s computer. After doing a few more things with it, he pushes the computer back over to Jon. “Leave that alone for awhile, and plug it in. We’re encrypting your hard drive. I presume you have other communications with my daughter on there?”
“I do. That’s a good idea.” Jon pulls out the power adapter and plugs it in, not wasting any time and not once questioning my dad’s actions, even as he pulls on his suit jacket and picks up his keys.
“Write down your dorm room number,” he says.
“Jack, let me handle this.”
“Write it down.”
“I’ll go with you,” Jon volunteers. Dad doesn’t argue and leads him out into the garage.
As soon as they leave, I feel my knees grow week and I take the chair Dad had been sitting in earlier. Mom stands up to pour herself a glass of wine, but joins me at the table a moment later.
“I’m moderately disappointed, Liv,” she says quietly. “More at your lack of discretion than anything else.”
“I didn’t really like the idea of it when he suggested it, Mom.”
“I’m not talking about the picture. Livvy, what if people had seen you leaving the loft?”
“They’ve seen us leaving together before, when he came to photograph my paintings. It’s not any different.”
“I was with you then. But really? You don’t see the difference? What about Francisco, who greeted you both one day and helped you load up your car the next? What do you think he was thinking?”
“Francisco was out of town. It was someone else. Besides, he’s one man,” I respond.
“An
d other tenants in the building? Paparazzi who are only a phone call away at any given time?”
“They’re not supposed to take my picture,” I explain, “per Dad’s instruction.”
“It wasn’t a directive from your father, Liv, it was a plea. And they’re all just being generous and playing nice right now, but that could all change with one screw-up. Plus, you haven’t done anything interesting for tabloids–until now.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you had photographers trailing you now. Especially if Jon’s with you. There will be no more sneaking around, do you understand that?”
“Yeah,” I tell her. “What do you think Dad’s going to do?”
“I’m not sure, sweetie.”
“Do you think Jon’s safe?”
Mom laughs a little, then sees the concern on my face. “Of course.” We both sit together quietly for awhile. She gets up and makes two chai tea lattes, bringing them back to the table. “Speaking of safe,” she starts, and I look at her, knowing what’s coming. “Are you using protection?”
“Of course, Mom.”
“Condoms?”
“Mom...” I say, glaring at her. She raises her brows, waiting for my answer. “Yes, and Clara took me to the doctor awhile back and I’m on the pill, so don’t worry.”
“You know you need to take that every day,” she says, “and around the same time. And honey, other medications can make it less effective–”
“Mom? They told me all of this. That’s why we’re using both. Every time.”
“So this wasn’t the only time?” she asks. My lack of response is enough of an answer for her. “I don’t think Dad needs to know that.” She doesn’t ask any more questions, just finishes her drink in quiet contemplation.
Mom takes a walk to pick up Trey from day care while I check other websites until I feel as if I’m going to throw up. I lie down on the living room couch with my phone sitting next to me. I ignore all the texts and calls that come in, since I know exactly what they’ll be in reference to, and none of them are from Jon. When Mom comes back, she says that she hasn’t heard from Dad, either.
Dad and Jon return home a half hour later, neither one speaking to the other. I watch as my boyfriend follows my father into his study without saying a word to me. The door slams behind them. Mom and I look at one another, and quickly clamor to try to listen to their conversation. It isn’t difficult. Dad’s pretty heated.
“I asked you to wait,” he says.
“We did,” Jon starts softly. I have to lean my ear against the door to hear him. “We waited months.”
“I didn’t realize I needed to be so explicit. I meant until you were married, or at least engaged!”
“You know those things don’t scare me, Jack. If that’s what she had wanted, that’s what I would have given her. But it wasn’t. It still isn’t. She knows she’s too young to get married.”
“But why so soon? She’s still in high school!” Dad says, obviously frustrated. “Don’t you understand the risks you’re taking?”
“We aren’t taking risks. We were careful. We used multiple types of protection.
“Were you tested? Before you did this with my daughter, were you tested for STDs?” I’d never even thought to ask him this, but I listen intently for his answer.
“Yes!” Jon responds quickly. “I didn’t want to take any chances, even though I knew it was highly improbable. My past is not that illustrious... contrary to what you think of me.”
“The fact that you have a past at eighteen is unsettling to me.” I don’t like his judgmental tone, and glare up at my mother, who’s just as interested in their conversation as I am.
“Two girls before Livvy,” Jon says. “Not to challenge you, Jack, but she told me your first time was in high school. At most, I’ve only been with two more girls than you had at my age.” I bite my lip, imagining my father’s expression at Jon’s statement.
“That’s three times as many,” Dad says, and Mom has to step away from the door to contain her laughter. “I don’t find this humorous,” my father adds, and I can only envision Jon having the same reaction my mother did. Mom quietly returns to the door.
“Neither do I,” Jon retorts after clearing his throat loudly. “Listen, I owed her an explanation about those two other women, but I don’t owe you one. If she accepts it, you shouldn’t question me. It’s, like, double jeopardy.”
“So you agree it’s a crime?” I roll my eyes at my mother.
“Absolutely not. Loving Olivia is not a crime, and I will make no apologies for that, or for anything we’ve done together.”
“This has been going on since we were in Europe, hasn’t it?”
I close my eyes tightly, bracing myself.
“No, sir. That night at the loft was the first time.” I exhale quickly, forgetting that my mom is standing right next to me. She looks at me, disappointed, and I wonder if I just gave us away.
“But not the only time?”
“Jack, I really don’t believe our sex life is any of your business.” I think all four of us probably stopped breathing at that moment. Ten seconds go by without any response.
“Livvy is my business.”
“I understand that,” Jon says, and I’m pretty sure I heard his voice crack. “I do, but I ask for you to respect our privacy in matters like this. She’s my business, too.”
I cannot believe he’s saying these things. As much as I fear for his life, I’m proud of him for standing up to my dad.
“God damn it, Jon! Stop talking to me like we’re peers... like we’re equals in this! You’re just a kid, for Christ’s sake! The hell I’m going to respect your privacy! The hell I’m going to let my daughter be alone with you anymore!”
I put my hand on the knob, but my mom pulls it away quickly, putting her finger over her mouth, telling me to be quiet.
“Jack, that’s not fair–”
“I thought I’d done a good job protecting her, all her life...” My dad sounds sullen.
“You did. But I’m not a predator. I’m not going in for the kill. She doesn’t need you to protect her from me, because I’m not going to hurt her. I respect her as my friend and as the woman I love.” I hear Dad laugh at Jon’s use of the word ‘woman.’ “Accept that she’s growing up, Jack. The longer you postpone this realization, the harder it’s going to be on both of you... and the further it’s going to drive you two apart. She loves me. You forget that.”
“She loves me, as well.”
“Are we having a pissing contest now?”
“Please,” my dad says, his voice disgusted.
“Are you going to make her choose who she loves more? Because I can guarantee you it will be the man who’s not giving her an ultimatum. Livvy doesn’t respond well to those. You should know that about her.”
“Don’t tell me I don’t know my own daughter.” I can tell his teeth are gritted, and his voice is threatening.
“Well, then you have to realize that keeping us apart is not going to help your relationship with her. It won’t. If that’s what you intend to do, I’ll be up front with you right now. I’ll do everything I can to see her. We’ll sneak around.” I look up at my mom, feeling my cheeks flush. It actually looks like she’s smiling at me.
“We’ll lie,” Jon continues. “She’ll leave you wondering where she’s going, all the time. You’ll constantly be wondering who she’s with and what she’s doing. You can have it that way, or you can just accept the fact that I’m here to stay, and not force us to lie to you. Neither of us wants that.”
My mom holds my hand in hers and squeezes it tightly.
“In all the days I’ve known you,” my father says, his voice softer now, “I don’t think I’ve ever disliked you as much as I do right now.”
“I understand,” Jon says, his words still confident.
“I don’t like your honesty, and I especially don’t like the fact that you’re right.” I look up at Mom and smile.
“I’m sor
ry?” Jon asks, surprised.
“I’m not saying it again.”
“Yes, sir. I mean, Jack. Of course, Jack.”
“That being said, I don’t approve of what you two have decided to do. I would ask that you at least consider my request to wait until after she graduates to...” Dad doesn’t finish his sentence, but Jon answers, nonetheless.
“Of course I’ll consider it.” There’s no way I’ll consider it, though.
Dad’s heavy footsteps warn us that they’re coming. Mom and I rush to the couch, sitting down just as he opens the door.
“Emi,” he calls out to my mom, “can you start checking some of those sites you were looking at earlier?” Jon walks back into the dining room, ahead of my father. Mom and I follow them, both of us a little stunned still from their conversation. Jon’s checking on his computer, but he glances at me quietly, looking pretty pale.
I pull out my laptop and hand it to Mom. Moving to the other side of the table, I watch over her shoulder. The photo is gone from the first website, with a small message in the space where it had once been.
“The picture that had been posted here previously was a photo manipulation. We apologize for the misinformation, and regret posting it. We had no intention of publishing libelous material about the parties involved.” Our names had been removed completely, too.
Mom looks at Dad, impressed. Impatiently, I click to another site. They have a similar statement, with no photo. A third website follows suit. “Did you have to call all of these sites?” Mom asks.
“We left that to Hollis,” Dad says plainly. “He got them to post it within an hour–I figure he can get it removed in roughly the same amount of time. Of course it will never be gone completely.”
“I told him it was an art project–that it was a manipulation using a model’s body. We also reminded him that you’re technically still a minor. That leaves no doubt of its illegal nature. I figured that would scare everyone into removing it,” Jon says softly. I guess the adrenaline is gone, because he sounds as if all life has been zapped from his body.
“Jon’s pretty fast on his feet,” my dad says, going into the formal dining room for a drink. “I don’t know that I should be impressed that he’s such an accomplished liar, but it works out in our favor this time.”