when I go back- the questions, the decisions I need to make..."
"About Viper," he said.
"About everything." I already knew what I wanted to do about Viper. That wasn't even a decision. I wanted him gone, out of my life completely. It was everything else I didn't know how to handle - my family, my career- those were the big questions. Those were the things I couldn't explain- didn't want to explain to a stranger. How could I explain how fucked up it was, the fact that my mother was who she was, that I kept supporting her after everything she'd done to me, that she still did to me? It was this weird, dysfunctional thing, my relationship with my family.
It was embarrassing.
I couldn't explain it to an outsider.
He didn't ask me to elaborate. "Are you starving?" he asked. "I'm hungry."
I was grateful he changed the subject. "Absolutely."
***
"You sure you want to eat outside?" June asked. "I only have this small table out here, so you'll have to do some balancing with your plates, especially on these rocking chairs."
"I think we're okay," I said. "It's so beautiful out here. I don't get the chance to do this kind of thing very often." Sitting outside on the front porch like this, enjoying the crisp Colorado air, away from smog-infested Los Angeles, made me almost feel like a regular person. June's border collie, Bailey, curled up a few feet away, basking in the sunlight.
June looked back and forth from Elias to me. "I hope you had a good night's sleep," she said, as she bent down to set a basket of muffins and a bowl of fruit on the small table between our chairs. When she stood up, her expression looked innocent, but her eyes twinkled.
"Great night's sleep," Elias said. "Best night of sleep I've ever had, actually."
Cade walked across the meadow between the houses, Stan perched on his hip. He set him down, and Stan toddled around the front porch, exploring. "Hey, babe." Cade kissed June on the cheek. "Good morning."
"He's so cute," I said, as Stan put his little arms around Bailey and Bailey sighed.
"Cute and a handful," Cade said. "Since he started walking, he's on the move all the time. Came by to see if you needed anything in town, babe."
"I'll go inside and get my list for you," June said. "Keep an eye on Stan for a minute?"
"Did you need that rental?" Cade turned toward me.
"I'll take her into town to get it." Elias spoke quickly. "If you want, I mean."
I nodded. "That would be nice."
June walked out, and slid her arms around Cade. He took the paper from her hand. "I won't be home until lunch," he said. "I've got a piece I'm working on for Randall Edwards, and then I'll grab the stuff you need from the store."
June shook her head. "I don't like that guy," she said. "He's not good for this town."
Cade shrugged. "Can't choose your customers," he said. He kissed her on the cheek, and then walked over to little Stan, kissing him on the forehead. "See you later, buddy."
June's expression was dark, as she watched Cade walked back to the house and get on his motorcycle.
Elias had a funny look on his face. "Trouble in West Bend?" he asked.
June didn't look at him when she answered. She shook her head. "Just small town politics," she said. "It would probably seem silly to you, being from the big city and all. Cade is doing a custom job for this guy, works with this company, wants to set up shop in West Bend."
"Doesn't sound like you think that's a good idea," Elias said. I wondered why he was interested in small town politics in a town he didn't seem to want to even be in again. But I guess he was probably still tied to his hometown. I didn't have the same interest in mine. My hometown could burn, for all I cared.
June exhaled. "A lot of people are for it," she said. "This company, it would mean jobs for a lot of people locally. Some of the locals here are in favor of it. I'm not a fan of it. Don't like the idea of some company coming in here and drilling away at West Bend."
"An oil company?" I asked. "Do they drill for oil in Colorado?"
June shook her head. "Minerals," she said. "Mining. A lot of people here are getting offers on their land."
Elias cleared his throat, and June looked over at Stan. "Excuse me while I grab my child, before he eats Bailey's fur. We're going to leave you two alone now, give you some space. Just wanted to drop off some breakfast, make sure you didn't need anything."
"Thank you, June," I said.
After June left, Elias appeared to be deep in thought. I wasn't sure what that was about, but something June had said was bothering him.
I didn't ask what.
"Well," I said, changing the subject, "do you want to go get cleaned up, and take me into town?"
Elias smiled, but he still stared off into the distance as he answered, and I could tell his thoughts were someplace else. "Depends," he said.
"On what?" I asked.
"On whether you want to get dirty with me later."
"There is a convenience store in this town of yours, right?" I asked, thinking of the condoms.
Elias nodded. "Sure is."
"I would definitely like to get dirty with you," I said, my heart racing at the thought. In fact, it was the only thing I could think about.
***
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ELIAS
River tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear, smoothing it, but it came back out again, sticking up at an angle, unwilling to be restrained. I hid a smile. When I'd looked her up on the internet yesterday, I saw all these photos of her at events with long blonde hair, flashing big smiles and posing for the cameras.
She looked better with the shorter hair. It suited her somehow- messy and unruly, refusing to be tamed.
She tapped the pad of her finger on the counter in the rental car office, a nervous habit, I decided.
"Anyone ever tell you that you look like that actress?" the rental agent asked, turning River's license over in his hand. I knew it was a fake, and wondered how passable it was. Not like the agent seemed like any kind of expert in sussing out fake licenses, not in a place that rented cars out of the back of a fishing tackle store.
River nodded and rolled her eyes. "I get that a lot," she said. "Sucks. I hear she's a real bitch."
I coughed, covering my laugh.
River signed the paperwork and took the keys. "Thanks a lot," she said.
"Welcome," the agent said, only half paying attention to her, his gaze focused more on me. "Recognized you when you came in here."
"Oh, I'm not her -" River started, but the agent continued, looking at me.
"Heard about your dad," he said.
I sighed. The last thing I fucking wanted to do was talk to someone who knew my father. I didn't need to hear about what a great guy he was from one of the alcoholics he used to drink with down at the bar or something. "Yeah, well, that's life. Thanks for the rental."
I turned to leave, my hand on the small of River's back as I guided her ahead of me. I wanted out of there before I got drawn into some bullshit conversation about my shitbag father. He was the last person on this green earth I wanted to think about.
The agent called after us. "Least your mother can get that property squared away now," he said.
I didn't turn around to listen to any more, and what he said didn't even register in my brain until we were outside, walking down the sidewalk ten yards.
Your mother can get that property squared away now.
What the hell was he talking about?
River's voice cut through my thoughts. "What did he mean, he heard about your dad?"
"Nothing," I said, my voice sharp. "None of your business."
Shit. As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. River looked hurt, and then she clenched her jaw, a cold expression settling over her.
"River - " I started, but she held up her hand.
"You're right," she said. "None of this is my business."
I opened my mouth to apologize, but before I could, I hear
d a voice from the past beside me.
Not now. This is the last fucking thing I need.
"Well, what the hell do we have here?" the voice asked, his tone less than friendly. "Elias Saint. And who are you?"
River narrowed her eyes at the man standing before us in a law enforcement uniform. "Beth Winters," she lied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Who are you?"
He looked at her for a long time, his eyes lingering on her face, and I had a sudden feeling of rage I forced myself to quell. The way he was looking at her....if his eyes had gone anywhere else but her face, I would have beat his ass right there in the street, cop or no cop.
"Jed Easton," he said. "Sherriff Easton, that is."
River's mouth was drawn tight and I saw her tapping her fingers against her side, tucked up underneath her crossed arms. She was irritated, that much I could tell; I wasn't sure if it was at me or Jed, or maybe at Jed for arriving right when she was about to tell me to fuck off.
I should have been grateful for Jed's timely arrival.
Except I wasn't.
Not only because Jed was a douchebag, but because part of me wanted River to tell me to fuck off. It's what I deserved.
"What brings you to West Bend?" he asked, his eyes still on River.
"Vacation," she said. "Taking in the sights, you know. Small towns like these are a passion of mine."
"And this Saint boy," Jed said. "He's an acquaintance of yours?"
My blood boiled, and I clenched my fists. I was going to lay this asshole out for calling me boy.
River's eyes widened and she looked at me. "I'd hardly call him a boy," she said, smirking. "Hung like a fucking horse. I'd say he probably has several inches on you." She leaned closer to Jed and raised her eyebrows. "Knows how to use them real good, too."
I had to keep my jaw from dropping, listening to River talk. No girl had ever taken up for me.
Hell, no one in my life had ever taken up for me. If there's anything I was used to doing, it was fighting my own battles.
I didn't know what the fuck to think about this girl.
Jed's face was red as he turned away from her and faced me. "You watch yourself," he said. "This town doesn't need your kind here causing trouble - not you or your brothers."
"Fuck you, Jed," I spat.
He smiled and nodded, then turned to leave. I watched him through narrowed eyes as he paused, then turned back toward us. "Oh - one more thing. Give your mother my father's regards," he said.
My heart racing, blood pumping loudly in my ears, I barely registered River's hand on my arm. "Fuck!" I said loudly, enough that a couple passing on the sidewalk stopped and stared.
Fucking Jed.
"River, I - " I started, but she interrupted me, holding her hand up.
"Whatever it is," she said. "I don't want to know. It's none of my fucking business."
"River, I didn't mean to - "
She shook her head. "Just because I defended you, doesn't mean I'm okay with you being a dickhead," she said. "I just don't like bullies, and that guy strikes me as a bully."
"One of the worst kinds," I agreed.
"Thanks for the ride, Elias," she said, the car keys dangling from her fingers. She turned to leave.
I stood there and watched her walk away. Jesus Christ. I wasn't used to having to watch my attitude, make sure I didn't snap at people.
I was used to dealing with subordinates, people I was in charge of in the Navy. Most of them fucking got out of my way.
I felt a pang of regret. Shit.
This is not how I'd planned on spending the rest of the day, dealing with family bullshit. I'd planned on spending it screwing the absolute hell out of River, but I'd fucked that part up.
I needed to fix it, I thought. Later. I would fix it with her.
Everything else was eclipsed by the thought of what Jed had said. And what the rental manager had mentioned. My mother had some questions she needed to answer.
Between whatever bullshit was with her, and Silas' cryptic crap, there were too many fucking secrets.
***
RIVER
It's none of your business.
Elias' words echoed in my head as I closed the car door and walked back up to the bed and breakfast. After I'd left him in town, I'd waited and watched him stride off back to his car like a man on a mission.
Angry at the world, I told myself. And he didn't even fucking realize it.
What the hell did I care, anyway? He was right; it wasn't any of my fucking business. Just because I was sleeping with him - no, scratch that since we hadn't even screwed yet- didn't mean I needed to know who he was. I was taking some time here in West Bend, just a few days, and that was that.
This was just a break from my normal life.
I needed to remember that.
A couple of days off the grid and I would get back to it. I needed to get back to it. Monday, when I didn't show up for filming, the studio would be fucking pissed. We were near the end of this film, and they'd probably figure I went off the deep end or something, lost my damn mind, with everything that had just happened with Viper. They'd film without me in the meantime, but someone would be looking for me. Soon.
I walked through town, browsing in a few of the store windows, the spaces decorated with country knick-knacks, cowboy clothing and boots. Being here was like stepping back in time.
It was almost enough to forget everything that had happened, back in the real world. Back in Hollywood. Not that Hollywood was anything like the real world; I wasn't delusional enough to think that. But it was my reality.
I just didn't know if I wanted it to be my future.
When I returned to the bed and breakfast, Cade and June were on the front porch, and June had a picnic basket in her hand. She held it up when I got out of the car.
"We were just making some lunch," she said. "So I figured I'd bring you some stuff over, drop if off in case you were hungry and didn't feel like cooking. Cade makes a mean chicken salad."
Cade was standing beside her, a half-eaten sandwich in his hand. "Secret ingredient is curry," he said. "June's been eating it by the truckload since she got pregnant."
"The kid is going to hate chicken salad," June said.
"Well, with an endorsement like that, how could I not try it?" I opened the front door. "Is there enough in there for all of us? Would you stay and have lunch with me?"
"Sure," June said. Then, to Stan, "Baby, come this way." He was picking the petals off flowers in a pot near the door. "Don't eat those."
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