Funk's the Chocolate Loving Vamp

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Funk's the Chocolate Loving Vamp Page 5

by Jamie Ott


  Later that evening, Layton’s mother called and demanded that he come home. Disappointed that he couldn’t carry out his new plan with Bob, he left in a relatively bad mood.

  He opened the door to his house to find his dad sitting on the couch.

  “Hi, Layton.”

  He stood to give him a hug. Layton ducked out of the way.

  “Hi,” he said and then went to his room.

  As soon as he closed the door, there was a knock.

  “Yes?”

  The door opened and his mother appeared. “Layton, I want you to pack up some things. You’re gonna stay with your dad for a couple days.”

  Without waiting for an answer, she turned and closed the door.

  The blood within Layton boiled, and the hatred seethed, but then he was numb. He emptied out his overnight bag and brought out a small suitcase his father had bought for him years before. He filled it with a couple pairs of jeans, a couple tee shirts, his toothbrush, toothpaste, and some soap. Next he compressed his sleeping bag into the backpack. He grabbed the little wooden box he liked to put all his favorite items in, and he opened it with the key he kept hidden on the underside of his mattress. Inside, he pulled out his life savings and shoved it in the suitcase. Gently, he opened his bedroom window and climbed out.

  Quickly, he ran to the abandoned house with the flowers. Up the stairs, he went to the room on the first floor, which was the cleanest. He sat down and, for many minutes, just stared and asked himself what he was doing? He had no plans or ideas, except that he didn’t belong in the same home as his mother or his sister, and he certainly didn’t belong with his father.

  Was it not proof enough? Being that he’d spent so much time away that summer and, never once, wanted to return home except to get clean clothes?

  One thing Layton considered was how his mother and father never asked him anything. They never asked him how he was, or when they did, they ignored his response, like when his mother asked him if he’d had a good birthday several days after his father had taken him out for dinner. When he tried to answer, she decided to take a phone call. Or how about all the times his father would call, talk for five minutes straight, always telling Layton what he should do or needed to do; Layton would say “uh huh, uh huh,” and then his father would hang up, which was why Layton didn’t talk on the phone anymore.

  What was the point? Even funnier, all the times Layton was on the phone with his father, not saying a single word, even when his dad did stop to ask him a question, and no one had ever bother to call him on it, or discipline him for it – because they just didn’t care!

  Soon, his butt began to hurt, so he pulled out the sleeping bag, stretched out and fell asleep. It was a heavy, drowsy sleep that was, for the first time in a long time, unencumbered with anger, for he was simply too numb.

  When he woke, it was several hours later. The night air had begun to move in and the temperature had already dropped several degrees. Twilight was approaching and, not wanting to be alone, Layton decided to sneak next door.

  Quietly, he let himself into the backyard and walked around to the side of the house that was Bob’s room, but he was not there. More than anything, he wanted to go inside and hang out, but what if his mother called? He didn’t want them to get into trouble, so instead he walked to the store and got himself a soda, a sandwich, a flashlight, and some comic books.

  He stayed up reading but the cool air and still darkness dragged him back down into the depths of sleep quickly. He woke in the middle of the night, went downstairs into Molly’s backyard and over to Bob’s window. Bob was inside and asleep.

  Gently, Layton tapped on the window.

  Bob got up and slid the window open.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I want to scare Rick!”

  “But your mom said you ran away?”

  “No! I’m just next door.”

  “In the old house?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, alright!” Bob grinned. “But you have to go home. You know that, don’t you?”

  Layton climbed inside with his costume and arms. He slipped on his cloak, put in his fangs and then put on his makeup. As he filled his pockets with rocks and stink bombs, Bob went to get the bag of ice, and then he put on his daytime clothes. Bob gently opened the window, and Layton handed him the little CD player and bag of ice, and then he carefully climbed out, too.

  “Wait.”

  Layton had a thought.

  He climbed back inside the room and grabbed Bob’s little digital photo camera that had a recording feature. Using the loops of the tie that was used to secure the cape around his neck, Layton fashioned a sort of harness that held the camera in place.

  Back across the alleyway, the sensor light came on, lighting up a larger area of the backyard than was usual. It occurred, once more, to Layton that Rick might be onto him.

  Still, he continued on.

  Layton crept up to Rick’s window and peaked through. The twins, Jeff, and Rick were asleep inside.

  Bob spread the ice around him and, immediately, it misted over, Bob turned on the CD player, and knelt below the window sill. One of the boys slowly stirred. Layton stood a few feet back from the window and Bob turned up the CD player.

  The sound of wolves howling called out.

  “OWoooooooooooo!”

  Jeff Barley was the first to notice. He sat straight up in his sleeping bag and gave off a yelp. Rick said, “Dude, go to sleep!” and rolled over.

  “Look,” he pointed at the window.

  “Ah! He’s back!” said Rick.

  The other boys jumped out of their sacks and stood staring at the window.

 

  “Turn the music up more,” whispered Layton. He reached into his pocket and threw a stink bomb on the ground.

 

  From inside, Layton saw Rick jump out of bed, rummage in his drawer and run to the window. He opened it and hurled a bag of chocolate cakes at him and slammed the window shut.

  Frustrated, because Layton needed to get the note about the Brancham Monster Set inside, he walked up to the window and struggled with Rick who was trying to lock the window into place, but Layton forced it back up.

  The boys gagged on the smell of rotten eggs! Layton tossed the note inside and ran.

  “Shut the window!” Layton heard as he shut the gate behind him.

  Trying to contain their laughs, they rushed quickly and quietly back to Molly’s house. Inside they rolled on the floor and bed with laughter.

 

  “I – heard – them – screaming!” Bob laughed.

  “I want to see, let me see.”

  Layton un harnessed the little camera and re wound the recording.

 

  After more good laughs, Layton said, “Well, I’d better be going.”

  “Are you going back home?”

  “Tuh… NO! I’m gonna sleep next door.”

  “Just stay here. In the morning, we’ll tell Molly you suddenly showed up.”

  He didn’t want to, and knew it was a bad idea, but he didn’t want to sleep in the old house next door, so he said “Okay,” and went to clean his face and take off his costume.

  In the bathroom, he saw that he wasn’t wearing his wig! There he stood, in the mirror with his poofy blond hair quite obvious, despite his makeup. Surely, they recognized him this time!

  “Oh no!”

  He knew he’d get harassed even worse than before if they had recognized him.

  The next morning, Layton and Bob went out to breakfast before Molly and Billy rose.

  Molly was shocked to see Layton, and insisted that he call his mother. Layton, who knew his mother would be at work, didn’t have a problem with that, so he called and left a message at the house phone, purposely avoiding his mother’s cell phone.

  “Mom, I’m hanging out. See you later,” he said quickly, and slammed the phone into the cradle.

  The rest of the day, La
yton and Bob watched movies and messed around in the yard. They murmured and whispered about what they’d done. Billy was suspicious on more than one occasion, but they decided to keep it to themselves.

  Later that day, Molly dragged them all out to help her prune next door. As he walked out of the backyard, he saw Heather walking along the alley. He continued next door and listened to Molly explain what he was to do.

  Noticing Layton, she walked up to the gate and called, but he ignored her. He looked at her, and then continued to trim.

  “Layton, can we talk?”

  Molly, Bob and Billy looked between them both but said nothing. Heather walked inside the fence and pulled Layton aside, but he wriggled free and told her to go away.

  To his relief, she did.

  When they finished in the yard, Layton decided to return home. He didn’t want to but he also didn’t want to remain in the condemned house. So right before his mother would be back from work, he left Molly’s, hoping he could slip into his room.

  Unfortunately, his mother’s car was already in the driveway, and when he opened the door, she was lying on the couch watching television with a bottle of beer and a smoke in her hand. Layton had never seen her look so miserable in his life.

  He closed the door and she looked up at him. They locked eyes for a few moments, and then she returned to watching the television.

  Layton was extremely relieved. He went to his room and lay on his bed and watched black and white movies.

  He’d drifted off to sleep until about 11 p.m. when there was a loud knock on the door. The knock went on and on, but his mother wasn’t answering, so Layton climbed out of bed and went to the door.

  There stood Heather with a police officer.

  Home Again

  Chapter 5

  For a moment, Layton stared at Heather and the cop without words. Finally, she said, “Son, get your mother.”

  Layton walked over to the couch and shook her awake. She walked up to the door looking tired and red eyed.

 

  “Where did you find her?” she asked groggily.

  “Sleeping behind your house, in the alleyway.”

  “Well, just so you know, I reported her missing several days ago.”

 

  After a few more words, the cop left. Heather went straight to her room and closed the door, but their mother burst in right behind her.

 

  “Were you really sleeping behind the house the entire time?”

  When she said nothing, his mother shouted, “You’re not going anywhere for the rest of the summer! If you run off again, I’ll move your stuff in with your father and his girlfriend.”

  “How will you know? You’re never home anyway.”

  “I’m not home because I have to work!”

  The shouting went on for another fifteen minutes before Layton’s mother burst into his room and shouted, “And you too! You’re grounded! If you think you can come and go whenever you want, think again!”

  Layton didn’t take his mother very seriously. He settled back into his bed and watched television as if nothing happened.

  As Heather said, she’d never know because she was never home anyway. It wasn’t that Layton enjoyed disobeying his mother, but he needed to get out and do things, just like she said. Not be stuck inside the hot house all day, every day.

  Besides, it had been a long time since he’d felt any respect or love from her, or even a slight interest in his life. He understood her sacrifice, but spending time with Molly, Bob and Billy was the only thing that made him happy.

  The next morning, Layton woke without the slightest intention of staying home. He looked outside, saw his mother’s car was gone, and then went to make breakfast. But before going to the kitchen, he propped his head against Heather’s door to see if she were home, too.

  Hearing nothing, and feeling relieved, he went into the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal.

  Despite loving spending time with his new friends, he enjoyed the quiet of the morning alone. That morning, he thought about his mother and his sister.

  Mainly, he thought about how unhappy he was with the way things were. So many thoughts; so many things, and it was hard to organize all that went through his mind at that moment. So he went to his room and got a pen and a paper and began.

 

  Things I Hate About Home

  1.Only time anyone talks to me is to give me orders or call me names.

  2.Being forced to have a relationship with an uncaring father.

  3.Never being asked about my feelings.

  4.Taking punishments for Heather.

  5.No one thinks that my feelings can get hurt.

  6.One minute being told to leave the house, and then the next, being told to stay home.

  7.Being yelled at or punished when I don’t understand the offense I’ve committed.

  8.Dishonest, half hearted, unclear answers to my questions.

  9.Heather doesn’t get punished for harassing me.

  10.I get punished for harassing Heather, back.

  After he’d done, he felt much better. He wanted his voice to count for more, and by writing his thoughts down, he was instantly able to connect the hypothetical dots between each line, and each complaint: he wanted to be treated better.

  And he didn’t want to be forced to do things, or to be criticized all the time. He’d like to come to things on his own without his mother constantly telling him to leave the house, find friends, or whatever else. He’d also like to see Heather punished for a change, when she would insult him. He wanted to be treated fairly. His mother always told him she treated him like she treats Heather, but that was another lie! Even he knew it’s impossible to treat two people the same.

  Layton got up from the table and washed his dish and spoon. The phone range: it was Bob.

 

  “Are you coming over?”

  “Yeah, be over in a few.”

  “Bring something to swim in.”

  They spent the day at the neighborhood pool. The heat hit another record temperature, and the pool got more and more crowded as the day progressed. It wasn’t long before Rick, Jeff and the twins showed up. This, severely, disappointed Layton who was enjoying his, mostly, bully free summer – except for when he was being the bully vampire!

  Bob swam over to Layton, who had just done a magnificent back flip into the deep end.

 

  “Do you think they’re onto us?” asked Layton who noticed Rick and Jeff sitting on pool recliners and staring at them.

  “I don’t know.”

  “What’s up with you two?” asked Billy.

  They continued to swim about the pool, and even played a game of polo with some other boys who’d brought a net. Layton watched Rick and Jeff out of the corner of his eyes because he didn’t like the way they were looking at him.

  At one point, the lifeguard left the pool area and went to the public restroom. Jeff swam up, behind Layton as he was wading toward the steps at the shallow end of the pool.

  “Hey, Funk,” he shouted. “Still have that superman underwear?”

  Layton turned away from Jeff and went part way up the steps. Jeff grabbed Layton by the top of his head, yanked him backward into the water, and then pushed his head under. It all happened so fast that Layton didn’t have time to think or defend himself. Falling backward knocked the wind out of him so he immediately that he swallowed a mouthful of water as he tried to breathe.

  Within moments, Billy was on top of him, and Layton was released. He stood up and coughed out the water, breathing, heavily, in.

  Billy dragged Jeff out of the pool; Layton followed.

  Billy pinned him up against the fence, but he wiggled free of Billy’s grip and ran toward the gate. Layton jumped in front of him and swung a perfect right hook at his face. Blood spurted out over the concrete as Jeff grabbed at his face. Layton, then, kicked him in the crotch.

  A loud whistle blew; the l
ifeguard was on her way back from the bathrooms. Despite all the kids attesting that Jeff had tried to drown Layton, they were all kicked out of the pool area.

 

  In the early evening, Layton went home to get a shower and clean clothes. Funnily enough, he found his list on the living room table. But someone had added to it.

  Things I Hate About Home

  1.Mom never says hi.

  2.Forced relationship with Dad who clearly isn’t interested.

  3.Forced to spend time with Dad’s new family.

  4.No one asks my feelings or opinion.

  5.No real answers to questions.

  6.One moment, am burdened by “adult responsibilities” and next, told I’m “just a child.”

  7.Sick of hearing, “I don’t have time to explain.”

  8.Sick of hearing, “I have to work.”

  9.Never shows interest in my life.

  10.Never goes to my school projects.

  The list went on for about seven more lines. Layton didn’t know what he thought about it, but he needed to get a change of clothes and get back to Molly’s because he wouldn’t see Bob and Billy for at least a week. Still, it was interesting to know that Heather was as unhappy as he was.

  That night he and Bob decided to go out and see if Rick left them the Brancham Monster Set in the floor boards of the house, as detailed in the note. Layton suggested something was wrong; that maybe they were onto them. It was just a feeling but Bob didn’t care. He insisted that they try, so they’d kept a long and watchful eye on Rick’s house for any commotion.

  At around midnight, they finally saw what they were looking for. Rick, Jeff, Brad and John left the backyard and went into the condemned house next door. Shortly after, they witnessed the boys walk back into their yard across the alley.

  Layton and Bob snuck out of the house quietly.

  Up the weak wood steps they went, and then into the parlor. Bob lifted a loose floorboard in the corner of the room; there was a note.

  Dear Mr. Vampire,

  Here is your due.

  Look behind you!

  Quickly, they turned around but saw nothing. A mere second later, they suddenly appeared in the doorway of the parlor: Rick, Jeff, John and Brad.

 

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