by Lauren Dane
“This apartment is perfect for me, Tracy. My gym is just a few blocks’ walk and the Pack offices are half a mile away. All my favorite restaurants are close by.”
She looked at him and shook her head. “You’re unbelievable. You. You. You. This apartment is perfect for you. Your gym is close. Your job is close and let’s not forget your favorite restaurants. Forgive me! Oh, and your best friend. Well, Nick, you can keep your apartment and your best friend and your stupid messed-up Pack. I’m going back to Seattle.”
She stormed out of the room, Nick on her heels.
He caught up with her, the weight of his body bringing her down to the bed. He remained on top of her, holding her in place. “You’re right! Okay? I’ve been a selfish asshole. You are giving up everything. We’ll buy a house and your dog can come live with us. Don’t leave me, Tracy. Not when I’ve found you. I love you. I want to be with you. Not Sarah. I swear to you. It was never about that. I called to share this thing with her because she has it too and I just wanted to marvel over it.”
She felt his heart pounding against her chest, heard the sincerity in his voice. But it hurt. Hearing that call hurt and she didn’t know what to do about it.
“Please. Baby, let’s work this out. Forgive me.”
He put his forehead on hers and the tears came from her gut with a gasp.
“Oh, love, god, I’ve made you cry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. How can I make it better? Tell me.”
“I don’t know. How can I trust you? I can’t. And her, I don’t want to be in a Pack with her. I don’t want to be in the same state with her.”
“You can trust me, Tracy. I haven’t violated your trust from the first moment I touched you. Surely you can feel me through the bond. You must know I’m telling you the truth.”
She didn’t know what to think. She did feel a bit on edge and a bit crazy over it. She wanted to hurt Sarah for saying that stuff about her and for trying to undermine her with Nick.
“Perhaps. But you went to her and you stayed silent when she spoke poorly of me. How can I let that be my Alpha? In comparison, well, there is no comparison. Cade is a hundred times better than that. Nina, who is the highest-level female, who outranks me, is not sneaky and cruel. Why would I trade that for your Pack? Why would I trade Cascadia for Pacific?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. But you don’t know her. She was just blowing off steam. She didn’t mean any of it. If I thought she did, I would have said something. If she ever said anything negative about you again, I’d definitely defend you. But this whole thing has been an adjustment for everyone. You aren’t anchored to anyone. I can’t explain it to you but certainly, Cade and Nina must be close.”
“Yes. And I’ve seen the way he looks at her and that’s what worries me.”
“Cade isn’t mated yet. When he finds his mate the intensity of his love and desire for Nina will fade. That’s what happened to me. Plus, Cade, Lex and Nina live together. I’ve made it a point to live across the city. I’m trying to be honest with you about all this.”
His eyes were earnest and his voice was sincere. She could hear the pain in it at having hurt her as well as being hurt himself.
“Please don’t leave, Tracy. Stay here with me. Love me and let me love you.”
She took a deep breath. “I do love you. That’s why it hurt so much to hear that phone call.”
“If I could redo some of my actions from the last two days, I would. We’d be in my...our bed right now and I wouldn’t have made that call. But I can’t turn back time. All I can do is ask you to hold on with me through all this so we can continue to move forward and grow together. Because I want you so much. I need you. I love you.”
Reaching up, she sifted fingertips through his hair. “One step at a time. I’m no longer contemplating calling my grandma to ask her if those stories about magic to break a mate bond are true. I want you too. I love you. But I’m not sure about anything past that.”
“What do you mean?” Despite the serious nature of the discussion he was hard and found himself wanting her yet again. Wanting the lovemaking to heal the rift.
“I mean that if I join Pacific I have to pledge an oath to the Pack and to the Alphas and I can’t pledge anything but that I want to pull that fake blonde hair off that bitch’s head.”
“Wow.” He fought a grin. She was so pissed off and jealous. It affected him in a very primal way. She was a vicious little wolf and his wolf liked that.
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help a little roll of her hips. “Don’t tell me this whole girl-fight thing is making you hot.”
“No, it’s not about her. It’s about you being so willing to kick the ass of anyone you think is threatening your bond with me. Which you’re totally wrong about, by the way. I happen to like long, lean, lithe women with tattoos and wicked tempers.”
“Do you think flattery is going to get you out of this?”
He laughed. “You’re a hard case, Tracy. So you won’t kill me in my sleep and you’re willing to stay and be my mate?” He suspected that part of why her feelings were so intense was the lack of the tri-bond. He hoped that after it was in place she’d feel more centered and sure. The idea of him wanting Sarah over her was ludicrous. He was sure he wouldn’t have thought so a week ago, but Tracy cast a deep shadow, there was no comparison.
“And we are going to start looking for a house tomorrow.” Tracy’s look dared him to argue.
He was no fool. Nodding, he agreed. “Okay. And the joining?”
“I don’t know, Nick. I can’t swear fealty to her. I can punch her, though.”
His mind raced at how he’d deal with this situation. She’d mortally offend the Pack if she refused the joining. But knowing her, she’d say exactly why and the Pack would be angry with Sarah and Nick as well. And Ben would be left holding the bag and trying to figure out how to fix it all. Plus, damn it, he wanted her in his Pack not Cascadia. He wanted to share his rank with her, wanted her in his family.
“One step at a time, baby. For now, I have a suggestion.” He raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed but didn’t stop him when his hands pushed the front of her robe open.
Chapter Three
Gabe had been awake since five, when his dreams of Tracy Warden ended and his thoughts of her began.
He loved the whole concept of the Anchor. Over the years he’d had the opportunity here and there but had said no. He most definitely wanted to be someone’s Anchor but he’d always felt like the woman would have to be someone very, very special to him.
Gabe readily admitted to himself that his offer to be Tracy’s Anchor was self-serving. He wanted her. Had wanted her since the first time he’d clapped eyes on her in that room the morning before. Instantly, the sight and smell of her had shot to his gut.
Because she was mated to Nick, he’d certainly not have the opportunity to see her naked in any other way. And admittedly, that was frustrating. If there was no mate bond, Gabe would have no problem whatsoever doing whatever he could to grab Tracy for himself.
But he hadn’t expected to want to be anchored to a woman like Tracy. His attraction to her, the depth and intensity of it surprised him. Shocked him even. She fascinated him. Wound her way into his brain in a way no other female ever had. At first he’d surprised himself by offering to be their Anchor. He’d said it without really thinking about it. The words just burst from him. He wasn’t sure why he felt as deeply as he did and now he really wasn’t sure if it was wise to be bonded to her in even an ancillary way. He was a man who valued control and his attraction to Tracy made him feel out of control.
He’d mulled it in his head, paced, and once in his bed, tossed and turned a long time. In the end, his decision was to roll with it. Because Gabe wanted to know Tracy more.
Sure, it was attractive that she came from a v
ery powerful and revered family. As a human who’d been transformed and had been looking from the outside in for most of his adult life he had to admit that such things mattered in the world of wolves. Being anchored to a woman as powerful as Tracy Warden brought his status up as a former human. Even though he was one of the most highly ranked werewolves in the country, her coming from such a powerful family mattered in werewolf culture.
But that wasn’t it. Not even a small part. No, he liked the idea of being as special to her as she’d be to him. Having that connection to her made him warm inside. He’d been happy these past twenty years as a wolf, but he had missed that connection since his mentor had died.
He liked the Northwest and now he’d have a reason to visit more frequently. As her Anchor, he’d be a part of her life forever, even after he himself bonded with his mate. As an Anchor he’d be like a member of her family. He smiled as his body tightened in anticipation.
* * *
Over coffee several hours after Tracy and Nick had made up, they sat curled into each other on the couch, watching the morning out of the windows.
“So, uh, I hate to bring this up and all, but isn’t Gabe going to be here soon?”
“Yeah, in about an hour.” He hated the idea of her with anyone else and knowing that the scent of her sex with another male would be in the air, he really hated the idea that it would happen there. Perhaps it was a good thing he’d agreed to move.
Tracy told him about the whole tri-bond fiasco between Nina, Lex and Cade.
“Well, as a human, I’m sure it was harder for Nina at the time. I understand why it has to happen and on that level I’m okay with it. I want to protect you. I need to. But there is this sliver of unease inside me at the thought of my mate with someone else.”
“How can we make this easier for you?” She wished she could forego it entirely, seeing how he felt about it. But she also felt herself slipping a bit as the time passed. Felt the encroaching dark place. “Do you want to be in the room? In the apartment? Do you want to go for a workout and then come back afterwards?”
“Part of me wants to be far, far away but another part of me knows I’d imagine all sorts of things if I wasn’t here. I do think I need to not be in the room though. It’s going to be an issue that he’s not related to me and that he outranks me. I’ll work in my office. When it’s over, we have to talk about the joining.”
Tracy stiffened. “What is that all about? You’re pissed because of the tri-bond and you bring that up to get back at me?”
He turned and looked her in the eyes. “No. Tracy, I am not passive-aggressive. If I have an issue you’ll know it. But we do have to talk about it and I’d like to see if perhaps you’ll be more...adjusted after you have an Anchor.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you suggesting that I’m overreacting to my mate sneaking out of bed at four a.m. to call another woman who he professed to have deep feelings for?”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong for being upset. It was a mistake, I admit that and I’ve apologized for it. But I do think your reaction was rather severe and I’m hoping that after the tri-bond you’re more centered and we can pick it up again. In any case, we’ll have to because the joining is tonight.”
“Scheduled for tonight, that is. And I’d like to know how you’d react if our positions were reversed.”
He got quiet as he thought about it.
She got up and kissed him on the top of his head. “I’m going to take a shower and, uh, prepare for Gabe.”
He stood and trailed after her into the bathroom.
She slipped out of her robe. His hands found their way to her body again. “Don’t start anything right now. You’re the reason I have to shower again as it is.”
He hopped up on the counter and watched as she got into the glass enclosure. “I’ve been thinking, and I want you to let go and enjoy yourself with Gabe. I mean, it’s the last time you’ll ever have sex with someone other than me and I want you to get off.”
She wiped her hand through the steam and looked out at him.
“I’m serious. I want you to have this. I don’t want it to be clinical and uncomfortable.” What he didn’t say was that Ben had said the same thing to Sarah and had gone to another part of the house, leaving her with Nick. And it had been even more special because of that. He wanted Tracy and Gabe to have that connection. And it was easy enough to say because Gabe didn’t live in the same city, much less the same state. Yes, Gabe would be a part of their lives forever, but it was easier with some distance.
“Well, we’ll see.” She sounded dubious.
After she got out of the shower she stayed in a robe and changed the sheets in the guest bedroom and tried not to show how nervous she was as Nick watched her.
She brewed some coffee and he helped her make a nice breakfast and set the table as she bustled around.
They both jumped when a knock sounded on the door and Nick squeezed her hand before going to answer it.
Gabe was there in jeans and a black cashmere sweater, looking suave and effortlessly, classically handsome, and Nick only barely stopped himself from narrowing an eye at him.
Instead he stood back and motioned Gabe inside with a sweep of his hand. “Gabe, good morning. Please come in. Tracy is just finishing up the crêpes.”
Gabe’s eyes widened a bit as he came into the apartment. “Crêpes? I do believe you’re even luckier than I’d thought.”
Tracy laughed as she heard that comment, putting the crêpes on the table with a tea towel covering them to keep them warm.
“Hi, Gabe. Please sit down.”
He went to her and kissed her cheek and it sent a shiver down her spine. He smelled good and he was warm against her body.
“This all looks marvelous.” He pulled out a chair, careful to avoid the one at the head of the table, and sat.
“Please, help yourself to coffee. The different fillings are all here in reach.” She blinked quickly, nervous beyond belief.
He reached out and grabbed her hand. “Tracy, this is going to be all right. We’ll just take it slow and step-by-step. The three of us will work this through.”
“Thank you.” A blush crept up her neck and Nick smiled at her, relaxing her a bit. Gabe filled his plate and tried not to look at her too much. She was alluring there in her robe. Her hair curled softly about her face and shoulders and unless he was wrong, there was not a stitch beneath the silk of the robe.
After a leisurely breakfast, where the three of them got on quite nicely, he put his napkin on the table and looked at Nick.
“How shall we proceed?”
“I’m going to finish up some work in my office. If I need to, I’ll duck out. I’ve discussed with Tracy that I want this to be a pleasurable experience for her so take it for what that’s worth.”
“Hello? Does anyone want to, oh, I don’t know, address me? Or shall I stand over here and look pretty while you divvy up my pussy?”
Both men looked to her, shocked momentarily. Gabe fought back a laugh at her impertinence and bold words.
“I do apologize. Is there anything you’d like to add or say?”
“Well, I do want to make it known that I am not on board with the way wolves think females are just there to sit in the background and look vacant and breed on. I have a degree in economics, you know. And if we’re all going to be bonded, it’s good to get this all straight from the beginning.”
Gabe nodded. “I agree, actually. I wasn’t born a wolf. There are many human conventions that I still hold. And lucky for me, I happen to like strong females. I did not mean for my addressing Nick to seem that I was ignoring your input on this issue.”
“Tracy has such trouble expressing herself.” Nick’s voice was dry but his eyes were full of amused adoration and Gabe and Tracy both relaxed at the sight.
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“And on that note, I will take this coffee into my office to work. And my headphones.” Nick stood and went to Tracy, who slid into his arms. “I love you,” he murmured into her hair, breathing her scent in and letting it calm him.
“I love you too. Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She tipped her head back and looked into his eyes.
He nodded. “The tri-bond is an old thing with us. Without it, you’d be lost to me and to yourself. I’m all right.” He turned to Gabe and they shook hands. “Take care of her. I am indebted to you for being our Anchor.”
Gabe nodded. “It is my honor to do so.”
Nick grabbed the carafe of coffee, headed down the opposite hallway to his office and firmly shut his door.
Tracy turned to Gabe, suddenly shy. She held out her hand. “Shall we?”
He took it and the connection arced up their arms, bringing a gasp from both their lips.
She led him into the room and closed the door behind her, looking at him. God he was beautiful. He was taller than Nick but not hard-bodied. A long torso and legs. The jeans he wore highlighted the power in the thighs that most werewolves had and it had always been one of the most appealing features on a man’s body to Tracy.
Salt-and-pepper sprinkled just a bit at the temples of his caramel-colored hair. It was short, professional, but not too short. Enough to run her fingers through. His eyes were deep brown, nearly black, and he had the smallest hint of wrinkles around the outer corners. They were serious eyes but she’d noticed a twinkle of amusement in them from time to time. A streak of whimsy was a wonderful quality in a man with such a serious position.
He had a neatly trimmed mustache and beard that seemed to frame his lips. His lips were the only utterly soft thing about his face. She licked her own lips in response as her body reacted to the fleshy curve of his bottom lip.
She watched as he reached down and pulled his sweater up and over his head. His chest was impressive. Again, not hard muscle like Nick’s, Nick was a man whose body was a weapon, a tool in his job. Nick’s body was a killing machine. Gabe’s chest belonged to a man who kept himself well. It was nicely defined and more of that sexy salt-and-pepper spread over the chest hair and the arrow of hair around his navel that disappeared beneath his waistband.