by Donna Grant
Well … until Audrey.
Every instinct he had cautioned him to push her away, to get clear of her before things got too … deep. He closed his eyes, anguished. Not once had he thought of her when he rode from the house. Hopefully, she was still asleep, but what if she wasn’t? What if she woke up looking for him? Surely, Brice would see to her.
Yes, his brother would take care of everything. That’s one thing the Harper siblings always made sure to do—have each other’s backs. For so long, it had just been the three of them.
Then Clayton was there, expanding their family. And Clayton’s parents, Ben and Justine. Next came Clayton and Abby’s children. And just when Caleb didn’t think things could get any better, Naomi and Brice fell in love.
The small Harper family now seemed ever-expanding with Jace, Cooper, Danny, Shane, and now Audrey and Maddy.
The thing was, Caleb had known from the very beginning that each of those people would leave him one day. Not because they didn’t love him, but because they moved on with their lives. He accepted that as life.
But when it came to his heart, that was another matter entirely.
He lowered himself to the ground and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. The air was filled with the songs of birds. He even heard the cry of a hawk, his favorite. But he couldn’t bring himself to look up to find it, he was sunk too deep in the mire of his past.
Caleb didn’t know how long he sat there before he was pulled from his thoughts by the horse, who nudged him on the shoulder with his great head.
“Hey, boy,” Caleb said and rubbed the animal’s forehead. He climbed to his feet and gathered the reins in his hand. “We Harpers don’t run from things. We face them head-on. Together.”
And that’s exactly what he was going to do. He climbed back on the horse and turned the animal around. With a nudge from Caleb’s knee, the gelding began galloping back to the stables.
All too soon, the buildings came into view. Whether Caleb was ready or not, he would have to face his mother and the past that wouldn’t loosen its grip on him.
There was no sign of Brice when he reached the stables. Caleb removed the saddle and bridle to brush the horse down before releasing it into the pasture. He went to put the tack up when he saw the door to the vet clinic slightly ajar.
He took his time putting the saddle and other equipment away as he tried to think of what to say to Audrey. There had to be a way to explain where he’d gone without telling her of his family drama. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed.…
Oh, hell. Who was he kidding? He was ashamed and pissed and just mortified that this was even happening. The fact that he wasn’t trying to think of ways to keep Audrey away from him was overshadowed by the morning’s news.
He closed the tack room door and made his way to the clinic. When he looked inside, Audrey was entering something into the computer. It seemed right that she was there. All the thoughts he had about pushing her away dimmed. The sound of music softly playing reached him. He grinned when he heard Toto.
Audrey turned to put something away and looked up, their eyes meeting. She gave him a warm smile. “Morning, handsome.”
Caleb opened the door wider and stepped inside the room. “Good morning, beautiful.”
“I couldn’t resist,” she said as she held out her arms, indicating the room.
He laughed and shook his head. “Hey, whatever it takes to bring you on board.” He swallowed and glanced away. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke. I had some things to take care of.”
“You can make it up to me later.”
The band he hadn’t known was around his chest loosened when he heard her words. “I’ll make sure of that.”
“Good,” she said with a wink. “I’ve already called both of my employers and taken some vacation time. They aren’t pleased, but I think I need it.”
“You do.”
“And I have some thinking to do about my future.”
Caleb leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. “Really?”
“Yep,” she said with a nod. “I’ve been busy this morning. I texted with my sister, and I checked in with David, who is thrilled that everything turned out well after the poisoning. Then I came to the stables just to be with the horses. But … I found myself in here. I hope you don’t mind, but I looked over the charts.”
“I don’t mind at all.”
She crossed her arms over her chest then nervously let them fall to her sides. “Good.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Audrey shook her head of dark hair. “Nothing. I.…” She swallowed. “That’s a lie. I know why you rode off. I’m worried about you, is all.”
“Brice told you,” he said, not at all upset about the fact. Actually, he was glad that he didn’t have to explain anything because he wasn’t sure the words would come. When she hesitated, Caleb pushed away from the door, a frown developing. “What?”
She briefly looked up and shifted on her feet. “It’s really none of my business.”
“We shared our bodies several times last night. Twice without using protection. For all we know, you’re carrying my child. Please. Just tell me.”
“I woke to the sound of someone arguing with Brice. I couldn’t tell who it was until I went outside.” She licked her lips, her anxiety clearly growing. “Turns out, it was your mother.”
Caleb turned away to pace through the barn. His mother had been here. He was glad that he hadn’t seen her, but he hated that Brice had had to deal with her on his own. After a few steps, Caleb halted and spun to Audrey. “Did she talk to you?”
“No,” Audrey hurried to say. “I came out as Brice told her to leave.”
“How did he say it? Was he nice?” Caleb needed to know.
Audrey’s brows shot up in her forehead. “Not at all. He yelled at her. Then he threatened to call the authorities to escort her off the land.”
Again, Caleb was grateful that he hadn’t been there when Helen showed up. He wasn’t sure what he would have said to her. There were so many years of hurt and anger built up, he might not be able to do anything at all.
Suddenly, Audrey’s hands were on his arm. “I’m sorry. I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through.”
“I never want to see her. For the past decade, I’ve just assumed she’s dead.”
Audrey pressed her lips together. “By the look of things, she isn’t well at all.”
“Good.”
“You don’t mean that, surely,” Audrey said, shock in her voice.
Caleb studied her as he took a step back. “You grew up with two loving parents. You don’t know what it means to wake up in the middle of the night and watch your mother pack up her clothes and sneak out, thinking no one saw her. You don’t know what it feels like to call out to her, to beg her to stay, to tell her that you love her—and have her shut the door in your face. To know you weren’t enough, that your love wasn’t enough to make her stay.”
“Oh, God, Caleb, I had no idea.”
He snorted. “No, you really don’t.”
Audrey wished she could take back the words. It didn’t matter if Caleb hadn’t seen his mom leave or not, she had no right to tell him that he shouldn’t wish her dead.
She felt like an utter fool. And she wasn’t sure she could take it back.
The pain in his eyes was unbearable, just as it was excruciating to hear the agony in his words as he related what had happened that night so long ago. It had left a wound that never healed.
It had scabbed over, and maybe even attempted to mend, but it never had.
Audrey reached for Caleb, but he turned on his heel and walked away. Audrey dropped her head into her hands, wishing she could turn back time. Of all the ways she’d wanted this day to go, this was not it. The entire time Caleb had been gone, she’d thought about what she would say to him to avoid just this situation. And what did she do? Ended up right where she hadn’t wanted to be.
“Just fantas
tic,” she mumbled as she dropped her hands to her sides.
Now, what was she supposed to do? She hadn’t had a relationship that lasted longer than a month—and even that had been back in high school when she’d had no choice but to see her boyfriend in class. This was entirely different.
Did she go after Caleb and try to talk to him? Did she let him cool off before they spoke again? Or was whatever had been blossoming between them over?
She didn’t know him well enough to discern which option to take. She’d already messed up once. She really didn’t want to further the damage. But she also didn’t want to leave things the way they were.
Audrey squared her shoulders and went after him. She found him lifting hundred-pound bags of feed from a flatbed trailer into the feed room.
He walked right past her, ignoring her as he moved bag after bag. Audrey saw his pain through the mask of anger he wore. All she wanted to do was hug him, wrap her arms around him and try to take some of the heartache away.
After he’d dropped a bag, she finally stepped in front of him, blocking his way. When he tried to go around her, she wrapped an arm around his neck and held him tightly.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Audrey murmured.
A full minute passed before his hands slowly came up to rest on her back. Then he splayed his fingers and held her tighter before winding his arms around her. Tears filled her eyes when he buried his face in her neck.
Chapter 28
Despite being intimate the night before—several times, in fact—there was something different, special even, about the way he held her now.
And Audrey liked it.
A lot.
He’d allowed her to see his vulnerability, his pain. And there was so much of it. She hadn’t realized that Caleb held such heartache within him. He masked it beautifully, but then again, so did most people who dealt with such things.
The sound of a vehicle approaching didn’t pull them apart, though Audrey felt Caleb tense slightly. Then Maddy called her name.
Audrey didn’t want anyone disturbing her and Caleb, but there was no getting around life intruding. It saddened her that Caleb was the first to release her. He stepped back even as she let her hands linger upon him.
He quickly turned away and went to retrieve another bag of feed. Audrey licked her lips and pivoted to walk from the stables as Maddy continued calling out to her.
“I’m here,” Audrey said when she saw Maddy at the door of the house.
Her sister hurried to her. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
Audrey reached into her back pocket for it and found it gone. “I must have left it in the clinic,” she said.
Maddy rolled her eyes. “You need to hurry and come with me.”
“What is it?”
“Two horses have just been saved from deplorable conditions and were taken to the horse rescue. It’s a mare and her foal. There’s a chance neither will make it.”
Audrey looked back and spotted Caleb watching her. “Give me a second,” she told her sister and hurried to Caleb. “There are two horses I need to save.”
He nodded. “Of course.”
She wanted him to come with her, but when he didn’t offer, she found the words to invite him stuck in her throat. Audrey hated the fear that welled liked a geyser within her. Why couldn’t she just ask him to come?
Because she knew he might say no, and that would be far worse than never asking him at all.
“Audrey!”
She inwardly winced at her sister’s call. She wasn’t finished with Caleb, and she feared that by leaving, whatever had begun between them would wither to nothing.
“Um … I—” Audrey began.
“Audrey, come on!” Maddy hollered.
Caleb nodded toward the truck Maddy had started. “We’re good. Go. Because if those horses die, you’ll never forgive yourself.”
He was right, but that didn’t make leaving any easier. She shot him a smile when she couldn’t think of something to say. So, she turned on her heel and walked to her sister.
Once inside the truck, Audrey’s gaze locked on Caleb. He watched them for a few seconds as Maddy turned the vehicle around. Before they’d even finished the maneuver, he had grabbed another bag and disappeared into the stables.
“I’m sorry,” Maddy said. “It looks like I interrupted something.”
Audrey shrugged. “It’s probably for the best. I screw these things up anyway.”
“Don’t bullshit me, sis. I’ve seen you around plenty of men. You’re finished with them before things even begin. You have a certain look in your eyes. You might flirt with guys. Hell, you might even sleep with them, but that’s as far as it ever goes. You never let them see you.”
Audrey swallowed, hating the words she was hearing. Maddy’s description of her made her sound so callous. That’s not who she wanted to be.
“I never saw that look with Caleb,” her sister added.
Audrey turned her head to look out the passenger window. She squeezed her eyes closed until she was sure the surge of tears that threatened was once more in check. Then she opened her eyes and asked, “Tell me about the horses.”
For the next ten minutes, Maddy described the state of the mare and the newborn foal when a neighbor had finally called the authorities, and someone went to check on the animals.
Audrey was sickened to hear that the mare and filly were in such bad shape they couldn’t even stand. Mentally, Audrey thought of all the things she could do to save the horses. The foal would be the trickiest. Already weak, if it didn’t get milk quickly, there wasn’t much she could do.
She spotted her bag and wondered when Maddy had gotten it. Then she looked at the truck. “Whose vehicle are we driving?”
“Abby’s,” Maddy said as she took a turn too fast, causing Audrey to slam against the door.
Still, Audrey didn’t say anything about the driving. Maddy’s love of animals rivaled her own. The sight of any of them suffering could make Maddy do amazing things. Perhaps that’s why it worked so well that she acted as Audrey’s assistant.
Maybe Maddy stuck around because she enjoyed helping, and not because she was floundering in life or thought Audrey couldn’t take care of herself. That made Audrey take a deeper look at her sister and reconsider many things.
“Did you just take Abby’s truck?” Audrey asked with a frown.
Maddy rolled her eyes as she increased the speed. “Abby wanted to come, but one of the kids wasn’t feeling well. Caleb, however, was one step ahead of all of us. Apparently, there’s an undercover sheriff’s deputy already at the rescue to keep an eye on you.”
Audrey didn’t know what to say.
Her sister shot her a grin. “Actually, there’s someone at Ted’s and Robert’s farms, as well.”
Caleb had done that? For her? He hadn’t said anything, but then again, that’s the type of person he was. It made her feel even worse for the things she’d said.
And for leaving when he obviously needed her.
She wanted to go to him, but she couldn’t leave the horses on their own. Once they were seen to, however, she was heading right back to Caleb.
Audrey wasn’t surprised when they pulled up to the rescue. But they weren’t the only ones who had been called in.
“Damn,” Maddy said. “She beat us here.”
“You knew they called Patty in?”
Maddy’s lips flattened in answer.
Audrey shook her head. She didn’t know why her sister had taken an instant disliking to Patty. And while Audrey and Patty did compete for jobs once, that was no longer an issue.
Patty had found her footing in the community and had built a good business. Since Audrey couldn’t always get to the rescue every time, other equine vets volunteered their time there, and Patty was one who was there nearly as much as Audrey was.
“Patty is a friend. You need to remember that,” Audrey reminded her sister.
“Friend? You sure about that?
”
The glance her sister gave her made Audrey frown. “Of course, I’m sure. We graduated high school together, and both finished college within a semester of each other.”
“You finished before her,” Maddy said with a grin.
Audrey rolled her eyes. No matter what Audrey said, her sister would never agree that Patty was not only a good equine vet but also a good person.
Maddy drew the truck to a stop beside Patty’s. When they got out, the petite redhead was coming from the stables, her face lined with concern.
“Ugh,” Maddy mumbled.
Audrey ignored her sister. She’d always envied the petite figure Patty had. Men panted after her everywhere she went. Her shoulder-length waves were pulled back away from her face to show her pale skin and the spattering of freckles across her nose.
“It’s not good,” Patty said when Audrey reached her.
Audrey looked into the stables. “Tell me what you’ve done so far.”
Maybe it was because she’d been through so much over the last few days. Perhaps it was because she knew that someone might very well be trying to ruin her reputation. Or maybe it was because of the things her sister had said that made Audrey second-guess everything.
But she could’ve sworn Patty tensed as if irritated.
Audrey inwardly shook herself. That was ridiculous. She was simply looking for things that weren’t there.
* * *
Caleb stood in the doorway of the room where Audrey’s clothes lay scattered about. She had forgotten her things. Not that he minded. It meant that she had to come back for them.
At least he hoped that’s what it meant.
Or maybe she’d just forgotten about them.
He ran a hand down his face. Women were complicated. He wanted to take Audrey’s words and actions at face value, but he also knew from his sister and sister-in-law, that women had layers upon layers of meanings to the things they said.
He’d left the stables because he saw Audrey everywhere. The house wasn’t any better. Caleb had gone to great pains never to bring a woman to his home or into his bed. Once, he’d thought it was because he’d have to kick them out. And while that was a part of it, it wasn’t the only reason.