by James Gough
“Looks like Labor and Delivery will have their hands full tonight,” mused Dr. Noctua, cleaning his spectacles on his sleeve. “Come, Wilhelm. Let’s get you inside.” The doctor led Will by the elbow toward the massive doors. An ornate scroll was carved above the entrance. Etched into it were the words, “Saint Grimm’s Hospital, Unity is the Truest Cure.”
“Dr. Noctua! Oh, thank goodness you’re back. I really must speak to you about the orderly staff and their practical jokes. This time they filled my office with rolls of toilet paper just because I gave them all double shifts.”
The pinched voice belonged to a short, incredibly fat man who had just emerged from the door. He limped to Dr. Noctua’s side, whining like a tattling child. The bulbous enchant was so caught up in simpering that he didn’t notice Will.
“Dr. Thaddeus Bump. I’d like you to meet Wilhelm Tuttle. Dr. Bump is the Hospital’s Chief Administrator. Mr. Tuttle will be my personal guest, Thaddeus.”
Will remembered to hold his hand out for the obligatory tap. It was then that he noticed that Dr. Bump had four arms.
A beetle?
One of Dr. Bump’s arms hung limp at his side. His small head was misshapen. A prosthetic mask covered half of his pitted face and a bad comb-over of chunky black hair with a green shimmer attempted to hide his scarred, dented skull. His tiny, watery eyes were set far apart and sunken, twitching nervously from face to face. The beetle enchant had a hole for a nose and a crooked slit on his chin for a mouth. Two stubby antennae sprouted between his strands of hair and swiveled like worms toward Will’s face.
“Oh, yes. Welcome, Mr. Tuttle.” Dr. Bump sniffed and looked at Will as though he had something gross hanging from his face. He twitched his antenna and squinted. “Welcome indeed. Any friend of Dr. Noctua’s is a friend of mine.”
Dr. Bump wore a pinstriped suit and gold watches on two of his stumpy wrists. His cologne was overpowering, probably to cover his pungent breath. “Come right this way, Mr. Tuttle. Arrangements for your stay have already been made. I imagine you’d like some rest.” Dr. Bump placed a hard hand on Will’s back and pushed him toward the gigantic doors.
With a low groan, the door swung open.
The colossal lobby would have shamed the most elegant hotels in Manhattan. The wide circular floor was smooth marble with raised veins of red stone crisscrossing through it like the roots of an enormous, petrified tree. Fifty-foot columns surrounded the hall. The walls and columns were covered in exotic foliage and climbing ivy, giving the spacious chamber an ancient, tropical feel. Atop each column was a different type of enchant statue. A tiger, a reptile, an insect, an eagle, a rabbit, a fish, and a ram all faced a statue of two men wearing suits with small round collars. In one man’s hand was a book with several more under his foot. The other man brandished a quill pen and a sheath of paper. Beneath the statue, a wide marble plaque read:
Wilhelm and Jakob Grimm,
Authors of Peace.
“How fortunate you share your name with such a great man,” squeaked Dr. Bump. “Wilhelm. It’s such a noble name. Don’t you agree?”
“Actually, I prefer Will."
“Oh.” Dr. Bump removed his hand from Will’s back and wiped it with a handkerchief. “To each his own.” The beetle enchant limped ahead. In the center of the floor a large vein of stone had been carved into a desk with a small silver plaque that read, “Admittance.”
“Incoming!” From the somewhere behind the statues, a football sailed into view.
“Mine! Mine! I got it.” A greenish teenage boy with a bandaged arm and the legs of a frog sprinted across the floor, hurtled the desk, and snapped the ball out of the air with his twenty-foot tongue.
“Oh man, Blake. I called no tongue.” A huge teen with rippling muscles and bull horns limped into view, dragging a leg in a cast. “I don’t want your amphibi-spit all over my ball.”
“Whatever,” smirked the frog enchant. “Don’t hate on the tongue, man.” He licked his eyebrow and tossed the slimy ball back to the bull enchant. Mid-toss, it was ripped out of the air by a giant gray fist.
“No balls in the lobby,” growled the mountain of an enchant that towered over the two teenagers. A single horn jutted from the center of this leathery face. Hard, dark eyes stared at the boys as the uniformed rhino-man gritted his teeth.
“What should I do with you punks? Lock you in the high security wing and have you scrub toilets in the hyenachant cells? Or put you on KP duty in the carnivore cafeteria? Serving a meal down there will take the spunk out of you. If you survive.” The rhino enchant snorted and popped the football between his massive fingers.
“Sergeant Gnar, might I have a word?” Dr. Noctua rasped.
Gnar, who hadn’t noticed the doctor, hid the popped ball and snapped to attention. “Sir, yes sir.” He marched over and joined Dr. Noctua away from the others.
“Sergeant, I appreciate your zeal,” whispered the doctor. “But this is not the military anymore, it’s a hospital. Don’t you think you can find a punishment a little less severe? After all, boys will be boys.”
Sergeant Gnar deflated under Dr. Noctua’s keen reasoning like an enormous puppy scolded by its master. “Yes, sir,” the security rhino eyed the boys. “Bedpan duty in the hippochant gastroenterology unit for a day?”
Dr. Noctua nodded approvingly and the rhino-man gave a crisp salute. Holding his head high, he pivoted back to the teens. “You two, follow me. I have a surprise for you. March!”
The bull and frog enchants shared a worried look and followed Sergeant Gnar down a corridor and out of sight.
“See,” Dr. Bump said as he approached Dr. Noctua, “this is what I was talking about, Doctor. Since you left, we’ve been having nothing but disciplinary problems. Nobody listens to me, especially not the young patients.”
The beetle enchant continued, “Those arachnid delinquents have been causing problems again in the corridor outside Pediatrics. Two nurses were caught in webs for an hour yesterday. That group of reptilian hooligans stole a load of Sanctuary Day decorations and shattered them all over the swamp chamber. And don’t get me started on Margarit and her little friends. Doctor, something must be done about that girl.” Bump leaned close and whispered, “Last night she stole a pair of my underpants and put them on Jakob Grimm’s statue. Oh, she denies it, but I know it was her.”
Dr. Noctua seemed to be working hard to hold back a smile. “Alright, Thaddeus, let’s go to your office and we can discuss it.”
“We’d better go to your office,” said Bump. “Mine is still full of toilet paper.”
Dr. Noctua turned back to the group. “Wilhelm, this is where I wish you goodnight. Duty calls. We’ll speak tomorrow, but for now, get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”
“Goodnight, Mr. Tuttle,” Bump added as he and Dr. Noctua walked away. “Nurse Starr will be with you in a moment.”
“Bump the Grump,” whispered Rizz. “Pretty upbeat guy, don’t you think?”
“Is he always that whiny?” Will asked.
“Only when he’s not pouting,” smirked Rizz. “But don’t worry. He’s harmless…annoying, but harmless. Best thing to do is ignore him. Everyone else does.”
“Well, I guess they’ll let just anyone wander in here off the street.” A striking older enchant woman strolled toward Will’s group. She was pure white, whiter than the nurse’s smock she wore, and she seemed to shimmer in the hospital light. The only color visible on her slender face was the bright pink in her irises and painted on her lips.
She was covered in a fine white fur. Her silky white hair was pulled back into a tight braid, then twisted into an intricate sculpture resembling a butterfly perched on the back of her head. Will tried to think of what kind of enchant she might be, but he kept coming up blank.
“Albino mink,” whispered Rizz. “That’s a tough one, I won’t make you guess.”
“Anthony Rizzuto, what on earth are you whispering about? Well, hello. You must be Wilhelm?”
&
nbsp; “Will,” he corrected and held his hand out for the tap. But instead of a tap, the mink-woman took Will’s hand in both of hers.
“Well then, welcome, Will,” she said with a Southern lilt. “My name’s Georgia Starr. I’ll be your nurse while you’re with us.”
Will had never felt anything as soft as the fur on Georgia’s hands. And there was something about her lilac perfume that was so relaxing that it seemed to melt away any tension.
Nurse Starr turned from Will to the rest of the team. “And how are y’all? Any broken bones I have to mend this time?”
Everyone looked at Kaya. “Only me, Georgia. A few ribs. I, ah, fell again.”
“Sure, you did.” The nurse raised a brow. “And I’m just a skinny polar bear,” she said, crinkling her eyes at Will.
Will smiled back and took another sniff of Georgia’s lilac perfume. It was such a soothing smell. All of a sudden he felt drowsy.
“My goodness. This boy looks asleep on his feet, what have y’all been doing to him?” Georgia turned and called across the lobby. “Rosa, please bring a chair.”
A stout, young nurse with quills padded across the marble floor, pushing a plush chair on wheels.
“You just sit and we’ll get you to your room,” hummed Nurse Starr.
“It’s okay. I’m not tired,” said Will, stifling a yawn.
“Nonsense. You just let yourself sit right down there.” Nurse Starr was a lot stronger than she looked and Will was pushed into the thick cushioned chair. He felt his eyelids getting heavy. Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, Will tried to listen as Georgia greeted the rest of his protection team. “Agent Manning, how’s that foot doing? Agent Flores, how’s your mother? Tell her hello for me. Rizz, what are you doing back there? Get over here and give me a hug before I break your other horn.”
Rizz chuckled. “Hey, Georgia.”
“So how’s the worst patient I’ve ever had?”
“You know me, still trying to be a pain in everyone’s butt.”
“And doing an admirable job,” Georgia shot back.
“How’s Dean?” Rizz sounded more serious.
“He’s the same,” said Georgia. “He’s in his room if you’d like to go see him.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Rizz patted Will on his shoulder. “Sleep tight. Don’t let the Builders bite.”
“Builders?”
“I’ll tell you in the morning. Night, kid.”
“Night,” was all Will could mumble before his chair moved. He forced his eyes open. They entered a long corridor lined with marble arches and a ceiling covered in stalactites. A family of turtle enchants was carrying a vase of flowers and a get well card. An elderly janitor with the feet of a cricket walked up the walls, trimming unruly ivy. A woman with a very long neck ducked under one of the twenty-foot archways as she walked past.
“Let’s get this one upstairs before he starts snoring,” said Georgia. “The rooms surrounding the boy’s are reserved for y’all, just like you asked.”
“Thank you, Georgia,” Kaya said.
Will opened his eyes again. Above his head, hundreds of balconies were stacked on the walls of a colossal atrium, like an inside-out skyscraper of stone. A medley of voices and soft music filled the atrium air while a few curious faces peeked over the balconies. Globes of light clung to the walls, creating a soft daytime feel, even though the night sky shone through a skylight at the top of the tower. There was ivy and foliage everywhere, winding its way around each balcony.
Like something out of a nightmare, a girl climbed over a railing fifty levels above him. She paused for a moment, then, without warning, threw herself into space. Will gasped, “No!” and pointed as she plummeted toward the earth. Flashes of purple hair and flailing limbs fell like a rock.
Five stories above the ground, two black triangles burst from her back and flapped hard, slowing her descent. The girl with black-and-purple hair alighted next to Will’s chair without a sound and cocked her head.
“What’s he in for?” She sniffed and covered her nose. “Stink reduction surgery?”
“Be nice, Margarit,” scolded Nurse Starr. “And how many times do I have to tell you to take the lifts? There’s no flying in the atrium. You know that. Now move along. You can meet Will before you go to bed in the morning.”
“Aw, man. He’s a night sleeper? What fun is that?”
“Margarit,” Georgia said firmly.
“Fine, I’m going.” The girl sprung up and flapped her wings, rising past the balconies.
“The elevators!” shouted Nurse Starr. A giggle echoed through the atrium.
A flying girl. Will’s head couldn’t wrap around it, and it hurt to try. After the day he’d had, logical thought and answers would have to wait until morning. Will couldn’t fight it anymore. He let his eyelids fall, awash in the scent of lilacs.
Soon he was swept away by images of beetles in pin stripes and flying girls with black bat wings.
14
First Morning
Light filtered through his eyelids, turning Will’s vision pink. He stretched under his blankets, noticing the sore reminders of the last few days. It was the first time he’d ever woken up without blocked sinuses or some other allergic reaction.
No more allergies. Will thought about all the things he could try at last, like food. All those forbidden foods were now legal. Today would be perfect. He opened his eyes.
Two large, pale eyes hovered inches from his face. Will cried out.
“Whoa there, Stinky. You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack. Man, listen to that thing, it’s beating like a motor.” The girl with bat wings and purple hair smiled. “Hi, I’m Mars.”
Will scooted to the head of the bed. “What are you doing here?”
“Introducing myself. Duh? Why do you think I said, ‘Hi, I’m Mars?’ Well, actually my name’s Margarit. Margarit Murciélago Chavez Carmona. But that’s way too stuffy. So call me Mars.”
“Mars?” Will said, disoriented.
“You’re not too bright, are you?” She flitted to the end of the bed, opened a footlocker and rifled through it. Vintage socks and boxer shorts flew into the air.
“Hey, that’s my stuff.”
The girl put her hands on her hips. “Yeah. I know. Where else would I find some clothes for you? I don’t know about where you come from, but around here we wear shirts in public. I might be blind, but the rest of the hospital will probably have a problem with you walking around all shirtless. I mean, seriously, there is a girl present here.” She continued rustling though the footlocker.
“Oh, sorry. Wait, this is my bedroom!” Will still had his blankets up around his neck, but she was right about his shirt, or lack of it. Someone had taken it off before they put him in bed. He peeked under his blankets and was relieved to see he was wearing a pair of white hospital pants.
The bat girl kept digging through clothes. “Still, you should be decent when someone visits you. I mean, seriously, don’t you want to make a good impression? I’ll pretend we didn’t meet last night ‘cause you were really out of it. You were all…” She stuck her tongue out and lolled her head around, crossing her eyes and making a gurgling sound. “So I’m thinking it wasn’t your best moment, ya know?”
She picked up a stick of vintage deodorant, opened it and sniffed. “Yeah, you’re gonna need something way stronger to cover up that gerbil funk you got going. This,” she held up the stick, then tossed it over her shoulder, sinking it in a trashcan on the other side of the room without looking, “ain’t gonna cut it.”
Mars was up to her elbows again in the trunk. Will looked around, trying to get his bearings. The room was bright and crisp with curved stone walls and ceilings that formed a dome. It was strangely familiar. Bookshelves, trunks, chairs, and a desk were neatly placed around the 1950s bed. His bed. Will rubbed his eyes. The room was a recreation of his bubble. There was his furniture with everything in the same place. The stone dome even felt bubble-like, except for a r
ow of ten-foot windows covered with white curtains.
Between the curtains, Will could just make out the lake and hills stretching out in the distance. He guessed he was in one of the rooms high up in the pyramid-like mountain.
Mars closed one footlocker with a bang and opened another.
“Hey. What are you doing?”
In answer to his question, a t-shirt hit Will in the face.
“Put it on. I’ll cover my eyes.” She put her hands over her face.
Will threw back the covers and started to pull the shirt over his head. “Hold on. I thought you said you were blind?”
“I am,” she said impatiently from behind her hands. “Geez, it takes you a long time to put on a shirt.”
Will hurried and finished.
Mars uncovered her eyes and smiled. “Much better.”
“If you’re blind how did you know I was done?”
“Okay. I’ll take this slow so…you…can…follow. I am blind.” She waved her hand over her eyes. “Don’t even think about telling any of those ‘blind as a bat’ jokes, or I’ll kick your butt. I really hate bat jokes. And blind jokes. How would you like it? You know, if you were a bat or blind? See, most batchants aren’t blind, you know. Just me.”
“But, how’d you know I was dressed if you can’t see?”
“Hello! I’m part bat. Can you say r-a-d-a-r?” She made her hands into a cone and held them to her forehead like a satellite dish. “I can see through and around stuff with my ears, well not see see, just you know, radar see. It’s complicated.”
Mars turned and opened a set of double wooden doors that led to a closet. She walked in and started sifting through more of Will’s clothes. Will leaned in, trying to see what she was doing.
Mars was barely four feet tall. Baggy jeans rode low on her waist, held up by a studded belt. Long bare toes poked out from under frayed jean cuffs. She wore a tight red t-shirt with a black tank over top. Her leathery bat wings jutted from her back, just inside her shoulder blades. The right wing was different than the other; part of it looked synthetic.