Johnny and The USed Wonz

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Johnny and The USed Wonz Page 25

by DaNeo Duran


  ‘Are you kidding?’ Leonard banged his wallet on the table.

  ‘Come on it’s getting late,’ Geoff said.

  ‘Time I headed off,’ Johnny said.

  ‘Sit down.’

  Nobody moved. Johnny hadn’t managed to keep the smile from his face. He’d seen the end and won the battle. He didn’t want to carry on; he wanted to celebrate.

  ‘Sit down,’ Leonard said again.

  Johnny stayed standing. His smile faded realising the desperation of his adversary. He tried relaxing. He remembered his mam.

  Then he remembered Keith his first muay thai trainer who by way of warning had told him how historically armies would celebrate the moment they won battle. Should they then face ambush they’d be mentally unprepared and be defeated.

  By contrast the samurai would tighten their helmet straps after winning battles in preparation for the next. Stay focused until you know the battle is truly yours, had been Keith’s advice.

  ‘Fine,’ Johnny said sitting down feeling his smile return.

  The next guy to deal sat directly to his right Johnny therefore had the task of sweeping the cards up after the game, according to Yardley’s book, he couldn’t be safer placed to bluff.

  * * *

  Outside darkness had fallen. Eager to get back Johnny set off running. After a couple of streets he heard a familiar voice call out behind him. Looking behind he saw Stu.

  ‘I followed you out,’ he said jogging to catch up. ‘I sat in the pub opposite you in case there was trouble.’

  ‘You were concerned?’

  ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Guitarists are ten-a-penny but half decent singers who aren’t a pain in the behind – well they’re rare. Anyway, how d’you get on?’

  ‘Mission accomplished, I hope.’

  ‘You hope?’

  ‘I’ve not counted the money yet. But if Geoff wanted to see Leonard humiliated he got his wish. I took all his chips.’

  ‘Well done.’

  ‘He didn’t want to give up; came back emptying his wallet into the pot.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘He lost – again. He bet heavily and I bluffed. He crumbled.’

  When they reached the house Geoff came knocking before the kettle had boiled. Judging by his serious look Johnny wondered if he knew about the samurai.

  Geoff dropped his coat on the back of the nearest kitchen chair.

  ‘Well done,’ he said with a serious tone whilst shaking Johnny’s hand. ‘That was intense; certainly got me going.’

  ‘I’ve never seen stakes like it,’ Johnny said.

  ‘Me either. Not with that group anyway.’ He put his briefcase on the dining table.

  Johnny piled the winnings next to it and counted saying, ‘That’s the five hundred you gave me to start with.’

  ‘Good start,’ Geoff said flipping open his briefcase. He wrapped a band round the money and dropped it inside. ‘What’s left?’

  ‘Hopefully enough to repay that solicitor’s fee Leonard took you for.’

  Nodding, Geoff counted.

  When he finished he clapped his hands together. ‘Put it there.’

  Johnny shook his hand again whilst Stu looked on.

  ‘See this?’ Geoff said to both lads taking an envelope from his briefcase. ‘That’s the solicitor’s invoice. We cleared it.’

  Finally it felt like they could celebrate.

  ‘I’ve invested a lot of time training you for tonight,’ Geoff said. ‘I’ve given you skills you can use to supplement your income in the future. By rights I should get what’s left.’

  ‘Of course,’ Johnny said.

  ‘But,’ Geoff said after a moment, ‘you’ve worked hard too. You put in the same hours I did – and more. The loan might have been interest free but I know how stressful all of this has been. It’d have been easier paying the interest.’

  ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘You’ve been paying the loan for thirteen weeks now so you’ve bitten into it. How about we deduct the rest of tonight’s winning from the outstanding amount?’

  ‘Really?’ Johnny said. ‘It’d be great to get the loan behind sooner than later. In fact I could pay you the rest tonight from other poker winnings if you like.’

  ‘Forget it.’ Geoff seemed to have stopped listening whilst scribbling on a notepad.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Keep it. The look on Leonard’s face was priceless. He couldn’t believe when you beat him that second time.’ Geoff finally laughed.

  ‘What exactly are you saying Geoff?’ Stu asked.

  ‘To be honest once we got into the poker training I pretty much regretted asking you. It was a big job but well worth it. There’s not that much left so let’s just call the loan paid. I’m still making money out of the pair of you as long as you work and pay me rent.’

  Wednesday 13th June 1984

  Linda had slept alone and soundly. Waking the next morning clearer headed but lonely she drove to the office unsure what she might find.

  When she’d locked up the previous night she knew with all certainty that she simply wouldn’t have set the alarm without also turning the door key. That meant someone else had opened the door afterwards. She hated her suspicions of Fiona but who else had a key?

  She could only think of the building’s management company. Even the cleaners came in during office hours. But Fiona had rightfully contended she wouldn’t have tripped the alarm; not that it had sounded anyway.

  Parking in front of her office she went to the Lotus’s cramped boot and collected documents she’d taken home for safekeeping. The black-haired man arrived for work and nodded. She forced a smile back.

  Arriving upstairs she found everything as it should be. Minutes later the phone rang.

  ‘Hello,’ Linda said having glanced at the clock.

  ‘No formal greeting?’

  ‘Hi Johnny, lovely to hear from you. How’s that?’

  ‘Informal but nice. You knew it’d be me?’

  ‘I guessed as much.’

  Cutting to the chase Johnny asked, ‘What’s happening with the insurance?’

  ‘They sent someone round. There’s not much damage and they’re paying for it.’

  ‘Well done Linda, that must be a relief.’

  ‘For damn sure. I rang the management company back like you suggested.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘They weren’t sympathetic about the alarm failing to sound. They maintained I’d been careless and forgotten to lock up and, get this, they seemed to think my business was in trouble.’

  ‘How the hell could they know that?’

  ‘Beats me but the implication was I mightn’t be good for the rent. Anyway I may have raised my voice and forced the issue of the alarm. Eventually they caved and it’s getting sorted.’

  ‘Thank God. I don’t like you being unhappy.’

  ‘Aw, you care.’

  ‘Don’t tease, you know I do. Things will get better. As humans we work to make things better and I know how hard you work.’

  ‘Thank you Johnny.’

  ‘I bet there’s some good news round the corner just be ready to jump on it when you see it.’

  ‘Is that what you’ve found – in your life?’

  ‘Absolutely. There’ve been times I felt crushed with bad luck and then when things couldn’t get worse I just popped from underneath it and things started improving. And like your business there’ve been times the band ground to a halt back in the days when we were Johnny and the Used Ones. But things got going again and stuff started happening.’

  She let him go and felt better still as she always did following his calls. She thought of him again when the phone next rang.

  ‘It’s Trudie, how’s things?’ the voice at the other end said.

  ‘Oh my god where are you?’

  ‘London.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘But, I’ve got a band for you.’

  ‘Oh thank you Trudie you’ve no idea ho
w much I need acts,’ Linda said before explaining her situation.

  Trudie said she’d do what she could starting right away. ‘How d’you fancy Little Spirit?’

  ‘What all at once?’ Linda joked. ‘Oh wait, they’re only a three piece; yeah I fancy I can manage that. Actually now I think of it I’ve seen the bass player’s girlfriend; she’s beautiful he wouldn’t fancy me after her.’

  ‘Someone’s giddy,’ Trudie laughed.

  ‘I’m just so relieved to have a new act.’

  ‘Well you can forget the fantasy they’re all loved up as it goes. Would you believe Raphael the drummer is with Grace from GMD and Danny the guitarist finally convinced Amy his feelings were true?’

  Linda thought back to her trip to London a mere three months earlier with The USed Wonz.

  Little Spirit had done phenomenally well since then career-wise and in their relationships. ‘How boring that they’ve all got girlfriends.’

  ‘I know, not a bit like The USed Wonz.’

  Linda could only imagine.

  Trudie said, ‘We’re thinking of sending Little Spirit over in October.’

  ‘Why so soon, surely there’s touring to be done in the UK?’

  ‘There is. They’re blasting it now. In the last fortnight they’ve been on every TV show going.’

  ‘What about Europe?’

  ‘What about it, they’re signed to us, Vanquar, we’re American.’

  ‘Well multinational,’ Linda said, ‘but the sooner Little Spirit get here the better as far as I’m concerned. It’s bad enough The USed Wonz are flying your way in a few weeks.’

  ‘How are they doing?’

  She didn’t mention the drama with the stolen money. ‘They’re doing great. But they need greater exposure and we’re missing festivals because of them being in the studio.’

  ‘That’s how it goes sometimes. Hopefully they’ll be back soon and with Little Spirit so I’ll be over too. Maybe we can sort something out – get things back on track.’

  ‘It’d be wonderful to see you. Hey, The USed Wonz are worried about a management shuffle in Vanquar; you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?’

  ‘What like?’ Trudie asked.

  ‘Well, d’you know who’s being considered for promotion?’

  After a few seconds dead air Trudie whispered, ‘Keep this super quiet but would you believe my name was mentioned?’

  ‘Wow, that’s brilliant.’ Linda’s mind shot forward.

  ‘Shush,’ Trudie laughed. ‘I won’t get it. They’re only considering me because of Little Spirit’s success. If they step out of line I’ll definitely be gone.’

  ‘Well good for you and I’m sure Little Spirit won’t let you down.’

  ‘Even though Little Spirit are doing ever better I sometimes sense love from the top wavering.’

  ‘That doesn’t add up. Who else is in the running?’

  ‘No idea.’

  ‘Then you might be fine. Do you want the job?’

  ‘More than anything but there are people who’ve been around way longer than me. Like I say I got lucky with Little Spirit.’

  ‘And The USed Wonz.’

  ‘To a lesser extent. Anyway don’t mention it even to them. If they’re worried about someone else taking the role they’ll just have to worry. We’ll know in couple of weeks.’

  Linda promised to keep quiet. ‘Are you seeing anyone right now?’

  Trudie just laughed.

  Linda said, ‘So if you moved to America you’ll not be breaking some poor soul’s heart?’

  ‘No fear. Actually I do better in America; it’s one of the reasons I’m keen to get back. That said I’ve had a makeover.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’

  ‘Katherine – the bass player’s beautiful girlfriend?’

  ‘What about her?’

  ‘She sorted me out. She’s now working freelance. My boss puts her in touch with stars and she styles them.’

  ‘It sounds like they’re leading charmed lives.’

  ‘It’s turned around quickly alright. Anyway I’m getting more attention than I used to but still, no one special. What about you, is that bastard Earl still in prison?’

  ‘Should be. He’s not been sentenced yet though. I’m with someone called Dwight now. We’re taking it slow.’

  ‘What about Johnny?’

  ‘Ah Johnny’

  ‘Is he still hounding you?’

  ‘He’s not hounding. He rings me most days but he’s not nearly so flirty since London.’

  ‘Does he still think it’s love?’

  ‘He never said it was love. But there’s something between us.’

  ‘You should snog him.’

  ‘What? I didn’t say it was that sort of thing.’

  ‘Okay, but think about it. How many men have you been with?’

  ‘Err …’

  ‘Yeah, don’t answer I haven’t got all day.’

  Linda huffed. ‘I’ll have you know it’s barely double figures.’

  ‘Really? Well anyway the point is I bet in nearly all those cases a great kiss led to great everything else and the same for lousy kisses.’

  ‘You think lousy kisses lead to lousy bedroom time?’

  ‘Don’t you?’

  ‘I’ll have to think about that.’

  ‘All I’m saying is if there’s no magic in the kiss you generally won’t find it anywhere else. Snog Johnny then you’ll both know.’

  ‘Well, I’m not sure about that.’

  ‘Just a thought. I’ve got to go but think about Little Spirit, three-thousand seater venues, possibly bigger for six weeks.’

  Trudie rang off and Linda visualised the ideal US tour for England’s new favourite band. Then she thought of her ex-boyfriends.

  By the time Fiona arrived Linda realised Trudie might have a good point.

  ‘Is your boyfriend a good kisser?’ she asked Fiona.

  ‘Hmm, he’s a good everything.’

  ‘Did you know The USed Wonz used to be called Johnny and the Used Ones?’

  ‘Ooh, that’s gross.’

  Tuesday 28th April 1981

  Johnny had contacted Graham virtually on a whim proposing their bands book joint studio sessions. Graham replied after speaking with his bandmates agreeing to out-of-hours sessions in a reputable Greenwich studio.

  Two weeks later the sessions had gone well. Mazz surprisingly nailed most bass parts in one take. She claimed practicing with the metronome had paid off.

  In late April, Johnny sat in his room recovering from a muay thai training session when Stu knocked at his door. They discussed what the weather would be like in Miami before Stu got to the point.

  ‘There’s a sensitive matter.’

  ‘Will I like it?’

  ‘Probably not, but it’s just a suggestion.’

  ‘Go on.’ Johnny had no clue what to expect.

  ‘Trudie – when she saw us at the Electric Ballroom she made some good points; some we’ve carried out.’

  Johnny nodded.

  ‘But, she made some remarks about the band’s name. Mazz won’t have told you.’

  Johnny shook his head.

  ‘She said it’s a great name for rocking around clubs and pubs. But not so great for Radio1.’

  The two lads looked at each other. Johnny raised an eyebrow inviting him to continue.

  ‘She reckons Radio1 wouldn’t play a band whose name conjured images of spunk-filled condoms.’

  Johnny nodded.

  Stu continued. ‘It’s just, getting a record deal is difficult enough without the name making it more so.’

  ‘You think we need a new name?’

  ‘Would you consider it? If Radio1 won’t play us stations in America’s Bible Belt won’t either.’

  ‘You’ve kinda sprung this on me mate. I’ll hear your suggestions but re-calving a following with a new name’s surely difficult too.’

  Stu nodded but said, ‘There’s another teensy problem with
the name.’

  ‘I thought there might be.’

  ‘Sorry mate, we’re all in it together and everyone can see you’ve worked hardest with the keyboards and the poker stuff. But, Christine’s put loads into the demo and Mazz wants to start work in June and contribute financially too.’

  ‘So none of you want to be Johnny and the Used Ones?’

  ‘If we drop the Johnny bit we drop the condom bit. We’d be The Used Ones.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And, it’s not like a total name change.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘It’d take less time to etch into desks when the teacher’s back’s turned.’

  Johnny smiled. ‘And?’

  Stu huffed. ‘And, me and the girls would feel like we were properly in, instead of just being Johnny’s discarded rubbers.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah. The name was never supposed to be about me. It was just a clever name – more suited to punk. And I appreciate we’re a band. No one’s a passenger here.’

  Stu laughed. ‘Cheers Johnny that was easier than I thought. The girls will be stoked.’

  ‘So you propose The Used Ones?’

  Stu suddenly looked serious again. ‘If you did want your name in the band we could substitute One for Won – as in your surname.’

  He pulled a pen and paper out his back pocket and wrote.

  Johnny took the paper and read: The Used Wonz.

  ‘What d’ya think?’ Stu asked.

  ‘We’ve not printed the demo’s inlay cards yet so – yeah, why not? It’s quirky.’

  ‘D’you know what’d be quirkier?’

  Johnny looked at him. ‘Isn’t this enough?’

  ‘What if we all adopted the surname Won?’

  Friday 23rd July 1982

  A year after becoming The Used Wonz the band’s demo had been duplicated, reduplicated and rejected by most major record companies.

  They’d done all that Trudie had asked. They’d tightened their image and extended their gig radius with the van they’d bought from Edward.

  Twelve months later Mazz tried contacting Trudie.

  Tragically it seemed the only person they knew who could facilitate success had done exactly what they wanted – vanished to America.

  Mazz had left school and like her other bandmates started working on the markets. Extradited from their West Ham house Geoff temporarily placed the girls in a double room at another of his properties. When a room became available in Johnny and Stu’s house they transferred before finally getting a room each when the next tenant vacated.

  For Johnny and the others living under the same roof made for happy times. He and Stu kept up their martial arts training and Johnny played poker between driving lessons from Stu. In England they had all they needed in terms of equipment and growing fan base.

 

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