“Dad, stop. Let me deal with this.”
“Deal with what? What is going on?” I stare at the carnage around me. A wall sconce is smashed, and one of the walls has a big dent where my guard smashed into it. My team is red-faced and panting, and Tristan looks like he wants to put a hole through me. His shirt is torn at the shoulder, with a thin stream of blood rolling down his arm.
Tristan’s chest is still heaving, his eyes flaming. Not the kind of man I like to see angry.
“You have a lot of nerve, asking what’s going on,” Tristan says darkly. “You leave Cara on her own after she gets news like today. You should be ashamed of yourself, Your Majesty.”
“I didn’t leave her on her own.”
“Dad, please.” Cara pulls him away. “Just let me deal with this.”
“You didn’t deserve the baby.” Tristan shakes his head and then turns around. His steps echo in the hall, and his words rattle in my head. Cara turns to face me, her eyes wide.
She gulps, motioning to the office. “Shall we?”
I follow her inside, closing the door behind us. Cara walks to the window and stares out, wringing her hands. I stand near the door, watching her.
“What was that about, Cara?”
“I told him about the pregnancy.”
“I thought we agreed—”
“To what? Keep it secret? Let me suffer in silence, alone in your chambers? Is that all you’re worried about? How this looks for you?” Her words bite, and I don’t know what to say. She shakes her head, tears shining in her eyes. “I thought you might just be doing this out of duty. You might be afraid of the repercussions of an illegitimate child. But I didn’t think you’d turn your back on me so quickly.”
“Turn my back on you?” I repeat, taking a step toward her. “When did I do that?”
“I can see it in your face, Theo. You don’t want me. Maybe you never did.”
I jab my fingers through my hair as frustration rises in my chest. My face feels hot. “Cara—”
“The only reason you came to New York is because you thought it was what you were supposed to do. You’ve always been the kind of guy to do the right thing, Theo, but this is different. I’m not just some responsibility that comes with being King. I’m not some task that you can put on your to-do list and tick it off at the end of the day. I don’t want you to be responsible right now. I want you to show me that you care about me.”
Cara’s chest heaves. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes shine.
“Cara, is that what you think of me?”
“Why did you walk out of the room after we got the news? Why didn’t you hold me, or kiss me? Not even once? I’ve been up there on my own for hours, Theo. So, yeah. I went to my father. I told him everything that happened. He was the only person who actually gave a fuck.”
She spits the last word out before turning away from me. My heart hammers as I struggle to take a deep breath.
How can she think those things about me? How can she believe that I don’t care?
“Cara, I didn’t leave the room because I don’t care about you.”
“The first thing you said was that you wanted to delay the wedding.” She takes a shaky breath. “If you don’t want to do this, just tell me now. Don’t lie. Don’t drag it out.”
I let out a long breath as I squeeze my eyes shut. Then, I take a step toward Cara, wanting to reach out and touch her but being afraid of what she’ll do.
“I want you, Cara,” I say softly. Her face angles toward me, but she won’t meet my eye. I take a deep breath. “I want to marry you. That’s the only thing that matters to me right now. I love you, Cara.”
Her gaze lifts to mine as her bottom lip trembles. “Why were you so worried about delaying the wedding?”
I let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I should have explained. I just wanted to give you time to recover and time for us grieve properly before having to smile for an army of cameras.”
I take another step closer to her, reaching for her hand. She feels cold, and I want to do nothing more than wrap my arms around her and hold her tight—but she’s too fragile. She’s like a wild animal, staring at me like she doesn’t know if she wants to bolt away or rip my head off.
“Cara, I’d marry you right now if I could. You’re the only thing that makes sense in the world. I can’t imagine being King without you at my side. You’re my Queen. Always.”
Her lip trembles as a tear spills onto her cheek. I reach up to her face, brushing it away. Cara angles her face toward my hand, sighing.
“I thought you were only marrying me out of duty.”
I chuckle bitterly, shaking my head. “No. I’m marrying you because I love you and I can’t live without you. I’m delaying the wedding because I need to be with you. Only you. I’m sorry I walked out. I should have explained.”
Cara’s eyes suddenly snap open, and she shoves my shoulder back. “You need to talk to me, Theo. I need you to be there for me, and not just focus on doing the responsible thing. We can delay the wedding tomorrow. Right now…”—her voice is nothing more than a whisper—“I need you.”
When Cara slides a hand over her stomach, my heart aches.
She’s right. Of course she’s right. I pull her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her. I’ve been so focused on organizing details that need to be taken care of, that I haven’t focused on the most important thing. Cara. Grief. Being there for each other.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair. I inhale her scent, feeling the wind pick up that will surely break my heart.
Then, we both break down. Tears come, and don’t stop coming. All the emotion that I’ve been holding back comes rushing to the forefront. We cry on each other’s shoulders, mourning the child that we’ll never have.
The Scotch tape flutters away, and I finally allow myself to break. Pain shatters across my chest, radiating through to my toes. Tears flow, and flow, and flow. Grief hits me like a sledgehammer, knocking me sideways.
The only thing that keeps me upright is Cara. She reaches up, cupping my cheeks in her hands. “Don’t ever walk away from me again, Theo.”
I shake my head. “I won’t. I promise.”
She takes one of my palms and places it on her stomach, resting her head on my shoulder. We stand in my office, leaning on each other, mourning everything that we almost had.
There’s only one thing that pierces through the darkness of that day—Cara. The fact that she’s here in my arms. That she’s knocked me out of my daze and forced me to stay by her side.
We’re together. Still. No matter what.
Always.
30
Cara
When I find out that Theo has organized a stay at the villa for the two of us to have some privacy and peace, I shake my head.
“Why didn’t you just tell me that you were organizing this? You just ran off after talking about delaying the wedding, and my mind went crazy. I thought you were leaving me.”
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I kept thinking about the baby—” The King’s voice cracks. He swallows thickly, his eyes misting up.
I nod, running my fingers over his scalp and holding his head to my breast. Grief weighs heavy on the two of us. It’s an odd sort of mourning. We never met the baby. It was no more than a couple weeks after conception, but the sense of loss is immense. Indescribable.
Heartbreaking.
When the haze lifts ever so slightly, I realize that Theo and I are still in his office, holding each other. He stares at me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before kissing my forehead.
“We can try again, Cara,” he whispers. “The doctor said we could still have children later.”
“Please,” I say, shaking my head. “Not yet. Don’t say that yet.”
Theo nods, wrapping his arms around me to hold me close. We stay like that for an hour or three, I don’t know. A long time.
I text my father that everything is okay. Theo and I go for a walk along the r
oyal beach, saying nothing. We don’t need to speak a word to know that we’re both going through an awful, unexpected kind of heartbreak.
But as the sun goes down and dusk falls, I realize that we still have each other.
Theo might always focus on being responsible. Fulfilling his duty. Doing the right thing.
I might always focus on running away. Being independent. Wanting to be free.
But we balance each other out. He keeps me grounded, and I keep him from burrowing underground.
That day is one of the worst days of my life. It comes and goes, and I wake up next to Theo the next morning with swollen eyes and a scratchy throat.
But I’m here, beside him. He opens his eyes, spreading his arms for me to come snuggle. He nuzzles his head in my hair, groaning in contentment. We lay there, without speaking, knowing we have each other.
We lost something yesterday, but in the light of the morning sun, I realize that we gained something bigger.
I know that Theo loves me. There’s no doubt in my mind now. No questions in my heart. Seeing him break down in the office yesterday, and waking up next to him in this plush, feathery bed, I realize that he loves me as desperately as I love him.
He didn’t come to New York because he felt like he had to. He didn’t ask me to marry him because it was his duty to do it. It wasn’t to avoid a scandal or to get ahead of a controversy.
He wants me. Loves me. Cherishes me.
I trail my fingers through his chest hair, inhaling the scent of his skin. It brings a small amount of comfort to my aching heart to know that he is here beside me.
We have many weeks of grief and mourning ahead. I can already feel it coming. But as I lay on Theo’s chest, all my doubts disappear. He’s here, and he cares about me just as much as I care about him.
The royal doctor comes with us to Arlian Island. We take the sea plane over, and I still spend the whole ride staring out the window at the crystal-clear waters below.
When we get to the villa, the doctor gives me the injection that will get rid of my ectopic pregnancy. I know he’s saving my life. I know it has to be done. I know Theo and I will have other chances to have children, and that in the end, it’ll be better to have them after we’re married.
I know all these things, but it still hurts like hell. I hold my composure through the procedure, but break down as soon as the doctor leaves the room. Theo holds me, his tears mixing with mine.
Those few days are a haze. I have to get one more injection a couple of days later. I’m nauseous, but I don’t know if it’s because of the injection or the general heartache and grief that consumes me. Theo is there, always. We spend two weeks in the Arlian villa sleeping, crying, walking on the beach, and generally just recovering from the shock and the loss.
As the days pass, I realize what Theo means to me—and it’s everything. Even more so than before, I realize that he’s the one person in my life that loves me for me. He accepts me as I am, flaws and all. He picks me up when I break, and helps me build myself back up again.
They’re dark days. I won’t pretend they aren’t. My emotions are unstable, and it’s hard to make sense of what’s just happened.
Having Theo beside me helps. The fact that he cleared his schedule to be with me means the world to me, and it shows me that he cares.
Not in a dutiful way. In a real, deep-in-the-bottom-of-his-heart kind of way.
When we head back to the main island, Theo interlaces his fingers with mine. He gives me a tight smile.
“How are you feeling?”
I nod. “I’m okay.” It’s a lie, mostly. I still feel broken—but I’m not alone. Not anymore. As the sea plane touches down on the water, I take a deep breath and squeeze Theo’s hand.
He squeezes back.
The need to run away is gone. The desire to fly off and explore the world is still there, but it’s tempered by the fact that I want to do it with Theo. I’m ready to accept my gilded cage, because with Theo, I feel freer than I did before. I never have to face anything on my own. I never have to struggle alone, wondering what I really want out of life.
What I want is Theo. Plain and simple.
Theo leads me away from the palace down a pathway lined with palm trees. A sea breeze rustles through my hair, carrying with it the scent of home. We walk in silence—as we’ve done most days the past few weeks—until we get to a small gazebo overlooking the ocean.
Theo leads me to a bench in the gazebo and we sit side by side, watching the waves crash on the white sand. I lean my head on his shoulder as he holds me close, and for just a moment, my turbulent emotions calm down. For the first time since I got the news from the doctor, I feel at peace. I know it won’t last forever, that sadness will overwhelm me in the darkest parts of the night—but for now, I’m calm.
Then, the King shifts away from me. He clears his throat, reaching into his pocket for a small jewelry box. Kneeling down in front of me, he gives me a sad smile.
“I haven’t done this properly yet,” he says, flipping the box open.
A glittering engagement ring stares back at me. My eyes widen as my heart thumps.
“Cara,” Theo says, clearing his throat. “We’ve done everything backward. I haven’t been clear or honest about my feelings for you, but I want you to know exactly where I stand. I love you. I want to sit on the throne with you by my side. I want to lead our Kingdom to prosperity together. I want to fall asleep beside you every night and wake up next to you every day.”
His eyes shine. My throat is tight, and the tears are already spilling down my cheeks. It feels wrong to be happy about this, when I’ve been so focused on sadness and grief. But when I nod, unable to speak, Theo slides the ring over my finger with a trembling hand.
We don’t say anything about our loss or about what might happen in the future. We don’t mention children or heirs or what was or wasn’t meant to be. It’s not the right time. We just hold each other, kiss each other, and inhale the fresh sea air together.
With a bright thread of hope, Theo stitches my heart back together, piece by piece. I know that we’ll come out stronger on the other side. Whatever we have to face, we’ll face it together. United. One.
Together, always.
Epilogue
Cara
It took two years to recover from the grief of losing the pregnancy. In that time, Beckett was arrested, Luca forgave me and Theo, and even Dante the hermit found someone to love.
They have their own stories to tell. Our lives were full of twists and turns. Highs and lows.
Before he forgave us, I tried to tell Luca about my love for Theo. I tried to tell him about the baby, and the grief, but his pain was too great. I knew from my own experience that he needed to work through it himself, so I let him be.
And he came back to us. He and Ivy blossomed, and I watched as they gained not one child, but two. Their twins were born healthy and happy. Even Dante and Margot had a child at the same time.
I won’t pretend it didn’t hurt to see their families grow. I smiled through my pain. Theo stayed by my side, as always. We faced our agony together, and day by day, it grew smaller. It never disappeared, but it became bearable.
Then, like a beacon of hope, I felt new life growing inside me. It wasn’t like the first time—chaotic and tumultuous and surprising. This time, we dared to plan it. For the first time in two years, we let ourselves hope. Really, truly hope that we could have a child.
The doctors warned us that since I’d already had an ectopic pregnancy, there was a small chance it could happen again. For the first few weeks, I held my breath—but still, I dared to hope.
At six weeks, when we got the news that my pregnancy was healthy, the smile on Theo’s face could have made even the coldest hearts melt. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me fiercely, not letting me go until I had to come up for air.
As my pregnancy progressed, Theo became more and more anxious. I could tell by the way he fussed around me, hovering wh
erever I went, even ignoring some of the royal duties that had once been a top priority for him. He would fluff my pillows and watch my diet. He wouldn’t let me carry anything heavier than a piece of paper, and helped me whenever I had to move.
If I’m honest, his overanxious attention annoyed me—but I loved him for it.
When our baby girl was born, I immediately knew I’d have a hard time keeping her humble. She was destined to be spoiled as soon as she entered this world. Theo held her for hours, only relinquishing her to me so I could feed her. Princess Ariella was doted on by her grandfathers, her uncles, and aunts. She had love showered on her by the entire Kingdom.
Even my mother softened. She got what she wanted when I married Theo, but it was Ariella’s birth that made her truly happy. When my mother held Ariella for the first time, tears filled her eyes, and I knew I’d been too hard on her.
She was a mother—just like me. I could understand, now, that she was only doing what she thought was best.
I appreciated it all, truly. I did. We got presents and well-wishes from all over the Kingdom. Luca himself beamed, bringing his own toddlers over to meet the new baby.
But what I loved most were the moments when Theo, me, and Ariella were alone. Sometimes, when the nannies had left and the staff were asleep, our baby girl would stare at us with big, bright eyes from her bassinet. She’d smile, grabbing her toes with her tiny, perfect fingers, rolling back and forth on her back as she giggled.
In those moments, Theo would wrap his arms around my shoulders and lay a gentle kiss on my temple. Everything was quiet, but the whole room would thrum with love. I could taste it on my tongue and feel it in the air. It made everything worthwhile—the turmoil that had surrounded our early relationship, the hardships, and even all the grief that we’d been through. Together, we were stronger. Everything that we’d been through made us better.
Every year, on our first child’s due date, we lit a candle to honor our first baby. We never got to meet that baby, but it was the catalyst that brought us together. That child was the reason that Theo and I were able to get over our insecurities and actually confess our feelings to each other. It was the reason we grew closer, that we formed an unbreakable bond.
Royally Unexpected 2: An Accidental Pregnancy Collection (Surprise Baby Stories) Page 59