by B. T. Narro
“Byron and I don’t want you picking any more fights, even if they are with criminals,” Nykal said. “I’ve brought Byron here to choose a safer assignment at night for you because I’m sure you are very tired by now.”
“Sire, will you please consider changing my punishment for these last two days? I need my rest to train and fight.”
“Jon, there are no imminent threats. Cason would need an army to invoke his will on the capital. You stopped those men from reaching him a week ago. The surviving enemies have been questioned. There was a secondary plan to their meeting in Koluk, which we are still weeding out from our prisoners, but whatever it was can no longer happen. Cason and the other dark mages have been stymied. Everyone here in the castle is safe, and if Cason or any of the dark mages try to harm my people, then it will lead to their immediate capture. You will finish out your punishment.”
Was I overreacting in my fear, or was the king underreacting?
I knew the king well enough by now to realize that I couldn’t argue with him. So I brought up something else that was important to me instead.
“Before I coerced Shaw into committing a crime, I watched him and his cohort harass a girl at Red’s Tavern. The owner, Red, watched it happen and did nothing to stop it. I even spoke with the girl later. It has been going on for quite some time. Aliana used to work there, and the same thing happened to her. The owner never lifted a finger to stop it.”
“I will let Byron decide what to do about this. I’ll leave you both now. Good day.”
He doesn’t seem too bothered by this news.
Byron and I lowered our heads as the king left down the stairs.
“We can discuss the tavern in a moment,” Byron said with a warm smile. “I’m sure you’re aware how well I knew your father. I have a few things I’ve needed to tell you about him.”
Things he needed to tell me, not wanted to. More secrets, perhaps? I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear any right now. I already had enough on my mind.
I must’ve made a face because Byron suddenly looked surprised. He gave a laugh. “Oh, it’s nothing bad, Jon. He was the best head guard I could’ve asked for. It’s often Gage’s hypothetical opinion I will consider when trying to make a tough decision these days. Did you know he wanted stricter rules regarding dteria while I was hesitant to enforce them?”
“I did hear that from Leon Purage. Have you met him?”
“I knew him a while ago, and we met again recently. Did he tell you about his interactions with your father and his resulting imprisonment?”
Leon had gone against my father’s advice. Rather than enticing the dark mages who’d robbed him into committing another crime, Leon had taken lethal revenge.
“Yes, he told me,” I said. “But my father never spoke about dark mages, or Leon.”
“I’m not sure why that would be the case,” Byron said.
I had a feeling. If I’d known the truth about the corrupting dteria spreading through Lycast, I would’ve wanted my father and I to do something about it, but my father had never wanted me to get involved.
“I never saw Gage again after he left Tryn,” Byron said sadly. “I never got to apologize.”
“I don’t think an apology was necessary,” I said. “He spoke fondly of you.”
Byron smiled, but soon lost it as pain crossed his face. “I’m so sorry about his passing. I grieved when the news reached me.”
I felt myself close up. I didn’t speak.
Byron said, “We can honor him by trying to finish what he wanted to stop.”
I didn’t know if Byron’s implication was really true, though. “Why would he leave Tryn if he cared so much about stopping the spread of dteria?”
“Because he cared even more about you and your mother.”
Oh. That made sense to me. It was just like the guard who quit last night.
“Your mother was a lovely woman, kind and gentle, just like your father,” Byron continued. “Gage did care to stop dteria, but he had to make sure his family was out of harm’s way.”
“And it led to both of their deaths because there was no good healer in Bhode.”
I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t Byron’s place to fix it. I looked down, noticing my hands that felt eager to be used. I had the power to heal now. My mother had died during childbirth, while my father was taken a year ago from an illness. I could’ve at least saved my father if I had started training earlier.
How could I be so selfish to not think of something sooner? There were other women like my mother who would die this week because of complications during childbirth. I should be saving them. I could be saving anyone who was losing a battle against an illness. At least I had to assume I could. My broken ankle was the most severe injury I had treated. I had yet to dabble with sickness.
But instead I trained to fight against Cason. And instead of sleeping a full night, my punishment continued. This was all wrong, just like the death of my parents.
“Jon, I’m very sorry,” Byron said, the guilt in his voice a stab to my heart. “I would’ve done more to convince him to stay had I known what would happen to him and to your mother.”
I remembered my father’s voice. Do you blame me for a lack of prescience?
This was no one’s fault, I reminded myself. Especially not Byron’s. I should’ve said something earlier to keep him from blaming himself, but I was just so tired and uncomfortable. It was difficult to consider the feelings of anyone but myself right now.
“It’s not your fault at all. I’ve been angry for quite some time, but I don’t know who to direct it at.”
“Have you ever considered that it’s normal to feel this anger?”
Normal? I was confused why that even mattered.
“Nothing is wrong, Jon,” Byron specified. “You don’t need to direct this anger at anyone in particular. In fact, you shouldn’t. You just need to recognize that it’s a part of losing your father in the way that you lost him. You must accept the anger, just like you must accept the sadness that his death has brought you. It is the only way I have learned to deal with the death of my father, who was taken from me brutally when I was around your age.”
“What happened?”
“He was stabbed in the back right next to me.”
“That’s awful.”
Byron nodded. “I was angry for a long time, first at the man who did it, then at myself for not stopping it.”
“But how could you have known it would happen?”
“I couldn’t have, but I still blamed myself. I even blamed my father at times. I told myself he should’ve known it might happen and taken more measures to protect himself. But this just made me angry at him.”
“I see the similarities.” I had been furious with my father for moving us so far away from Tryn.
“You will be angry and sad, but it gets easier the more that you learn to accept it.” Byron put up his hands. “I’m not saying the acceptance of these emotions is ever easy. It’s not. You will struggle with this as you have already, but in time you will become more accepting. You will think about your father more fondly and less painfully because he was a good man. And I’m sure he was a good father.”
Something broke inside me, a dam bursting. It took all of my strength not to weep in front of the head guard of the capital, a man I had just met. But I managed to hold it in out of fear of bringing shame on myself.
I had developed ways to get past the anger and sadness. I found it best to stop the thoughts as soon as they came, focusing on my breathing, my surroundings—anything but the loneliness. The more times I successfully disconnected the cycle of misery, the easier it was to stop it in the future. But I had never learned to accept my emotions. They used to hurt too much for me to live with before, but I was stronger now. It was time to stop running from them.
I didn’t know what had come over me, but I was flooded with relief. I felt like this was the first time I’d been offered any real guidance since my father had die
d, and I had no idea how much I’d needed it.
You were not just a good father, Gage. You were my closest friend.
“Thank you, Byron,” I managed to get out as I took a few breaths to hold in the tears that tried to escape.
He nodded with a sad smile. “This conversation was long overdue. I’m sorry it took even this long. Unfortunately, I really must be leaving now. For the next two nights, you will take the post on the wall at Broad Street and Speedwell. It’s the closest post to the castle. Another watcher will relieve you after two hours from the beginning of your shift. I don’t expect you to see anyone attempting to enter the city after sundown, but you know the rules. No one enters, but they are permitted to leave. Any questions?”
As frustrated as I continued to be about this punishment, I reminded myself that it wasn’t Byron who had decided my penalty would continue. He was just following the king’s orders.
But there was something he was forgetting. “Sir, what about the tavern owner who seems to encourage the harassment of his serving girl?”
“Yes, that. Forgive me for forgetting. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do myself to resolve that issue.”
I didn’t bother hiding my surprise and disappointment. “Nothing?”
“The laws are not on my side in this circumstance.”
“Forgive me if this isn’t my place, but can’t you change the laws?”
“The lord of the city makes the laws, and the lord of the capital is the king.” Byron had a hinting tone. “But that’s not to say that you couldn’t take the matter into your own hands. I trust whatever decision you make.”
I smiled. “I appreciate your trust.”
CHAPTER FIVE
I returned to training immediately after Byron left. During the moments when I rested my tired mind, I tried to think of a plan to teach Red a lesson. I was interrupted a short time later by the sound of someone walking up the stairs to my allotted training quarters in the great hall. They stopped and knocked on the wall of the stairway before I could see them.
“Jon, may I enter? It’s Callie.”
“Of course,” I said.
The princess looked at me with irritation when she made it to the top of the stairs. I had a feeling I knew why she was upset. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since she had agreed to help me trick her father. I hadn’t been able to thank her for her help, which she undoubtedly deserved.
Her father had told me that she had become spoiled recently—that she thought the heart of every boy already belonged to her—and he thought my dismissal of her affection might fix that situation somewhat. I had promised her father that I would not show her any sign of affection, but that didn't mean I had to be rude to her.
“Princess,” I said with a bow. “This is long overdue, but I want to thank you. Without your help, I never would’ve found the troops from Rohaer in the forest. I’m frustrated it’s taken this long to give you the gratitude you deserve. Thank you.”
I offered my hand.
She shook it hesitantly, keeping her gaze on my face.
“If that’s true, why didn’t you visit me earlier?” she asked.
“I haven’t been permitted to walk around the castle freely. The king doesn’t wish to give me any opportunities to sleep until my punishment is over.”
“Oh.” She brightened.
“Yes, I really did want to thank you much earlier.” I thought it was worth repeating.
“I see.” She brightened even more. “My father didn’t tell me that.”
“What did he say?”
“That you would be losing sleep while training hard, so I should leave you alone.” Callie paused. “But my father will be in the keep for a while, so I knew we could have some time now.”
“How have you been? Did your father punish you for helping me?”
“I’ve been well. Yes, every dinner there’s another disgusting vegetable I have to eat with my meal. Last night was radishes. I will have to suffer two more evenings through it. Each day I dread it.”
That didn’t sound so bad to me. “Your punishment is ten days as well?”
“Yes, we should celebrate as soon as our punishment is over!” She grabbed my hand. “I can ask my father to host a ball and we can have a dance.” Callie hummed a tune as she spun gracefully, floating my hand above her, then moving it behind her shoulder as she pretended to dip.
I forced a laugh as I stepped back when she was done. “I’m not much of a dancer.”
“I could teach you. I promise it would be fun.”
“Let’s save the celebrating until…” I stopped myself as I realized I shouldn’t let her know about Cason or the other dangers to her and her father. “Until a little later.”
Callie saw right through me. “You’re concerned about a danger, aren’t you? Please tell me what it is.”
“Just a few issues in the capital, nothing we can’t deal with.”
“There are always issues. How is this one different?”
I didn’t want to lie to her, so I didn’t answer. “I’d like to wait to celebrate until these specific issues are resolved. And dance lessons should wait until then as well.”
“Then perhaps I could help you train in the meantime? I did help you learn Heal, remember? You used it to save the life of Reuben Langston. Who knows if you would’ve been able to do that without my help.”
There was some truth to what she said. I had barely learned how to cast a healing spell before I’d needed to use it, and it was thanks to Callie. But I attributed that to the scroll she’d brought me.
“I have been eager to see the library,” I hinted.
“Oh. Um.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just that the library is in the keep. My father is there.” She squinted as if in thought, then she shook her head. “He won’t see us. He’s busy.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t be too angry if he finds me visiting the library just to supplement my training.”
“You’re right.” She spoke toward the floor as if disappointed about something. “I’ll take you there now.”
“Thank you.”
She was the first down the stairs, but she waited for me to walk beside her in the hallway.
Every time I saw Callie, she had on a more extravagant dress than before. Most of them were flowing with abundant fabric, especially near the wrist where wide sleeves dangled. Surely, even the most common activities, like eating, required them to be rolled up.
I peered closely. There was a faint stain on the end of her right sleeve.
She noticed me looking and quickly folded back the end of her sleeve. “It is rude to stare at a lady’s misfortunes, Jon Oklar!”
“I’m sorry,” I said with a small laugh. “It’s just that I’ve been wondering if you choose to wear those dresses or…”
“Or what? Do you think I am a child who is forced to wear clothes that her mother picks out for her?”
I lost my smile when I could no longer tell if she was making a jest. “Well…I thought, perhaps as a princess, you might undergo certain scrutinies that, well, ordinary folk like myself are…um, not subjected to.”
“Jon Oklar, you are the absolute, most insane…ly correct person today.”
“Oh.” I laughed, and she joined in.
“Did I trick you?” she asked.
“You did. So your clothes are chosen for you?”
“Yes. I don’t care much for these dresses.” Callie spread her arms to let the fabric hang. “But they are beautiful, don’t you think?”
Disagreeing would be a lie. “Yes, they are extremely well made.”
“And?” she hinted.
“And quite beautiful.”
She smiled.
*****
When we stopped outside the library on the third floor of the keep, Callie warned me, “It is not an impressive library by any means.”
She unlocked the door and stepped back. Then she didn’t move. It took me a moment to reali
ze that she was waiting for me to open it.
The door creaked eerily as I pushed it open into the dark room. I was about to enter when Callie cleared her throat.
“You’re supposed to let a lady enter first, Jon Oklar.”
“Sorry. Please go ahead.”
She waltzed in and lit the lantern sitting on the single table in the center of the room.
The “library” was the smallest and saddest room I had seen so far within the castle. It was narrow and tall, with half-empty bookshelves crowding the walls. It seemed to be somewhat organized, at least, with bound books lined up neatly to my left and scrolls sitting on the shelves to my right.
I read aloud the titles of a few randomly selected books: “The Tale of Bartlett Gaz. The Study of Wind Whispering. The Eclipse of Erto. Herald Izguard?” I expressed my confusion. “Who are these people?”
Callie gave no reply, as she seemed to be enjoying watching me grow irritated. I kept browsing.
There were many more books whose titles were merely the names of people I had never heard of. Skimming through the pages of a few of them, I soon came to the conclusion that these were all sorcerers who seemed rather unremarkable. Too much interest had been put into cataloging anyone who’d used mana, even if all they could perform was a simple spell of water or fire.
Callie stepped up closer than necessary to read one with me. I felt a little bad when I closed the biography we were checking out and browsed for another, but I wanted to make my intentions clear.
Soon I picked one off the shelf that piqued my interest. “This one just says Magical Art?”
“Finally, you select a good one.”
I couldn’t tell from her tone if she was being sarcastic.
I read the beginning aloud, “Magical Art is the practice of forcing your mind energy to make vibrations.”
I closed the book and looked at Callie, who had a half grin.
“Mind energy?” I asked as I turned the book over. “When was this written?”
“A long time ago.”
“I thought you said this was a good one.”
“It was a jest.” She giggled as she took it out of my hands and put it back. “Most bound books here are better left ignored. I usually find the scrolls more informative. They are designed to be to the point.”