by B. T. Narro
She waited for me to nod.
“My family’s opinion recently changed back to how it was before, now that Nykal held my family in suspicion of treason. Unfortunately, things are currently moving in a direction that worries me.”
“Your family is losing loyalty to the king?”
“I wouldn’t say losing loyalty, but my father has been very hurt by the accusation, just as I was.”
“You’ve spoken with him?”
“Not for very long. It was during the arrest of Luther. My father was there. He knew the king had been spying on him. However, we are loyal,” she continued, “not just to the king but to good. We stand against dteria, as we always have. So we will always stand with Nykal. But my family is heavily opposed to creating a dynasty under his kingship now. They have returned focus to the original family I mentioned. Maybe you don’t know this, coming from a small town far north, but when someone like me marries, it is not just a marriage of two people but of two families. Finding the right man to wed isn’t solely up to me.”
“Do you even like the male heir of this family you would be married to?”
“Yes, so far I do,” she said to my disappointment. “We haven’t spent a large amount of time together, though our burgeoning relationship would come to a sudden end if I became involved with another boy.”
So it just wasn’t meant to be, no matter what I could do about it. There could be some relief in that, though I had to get past the sinking feeling in my chest first.
I would soon, I figured. My feelings were strong, but I had only come to realize them recently. I just needed to give myself time.
However, it was hard to picture losing my attraction to someone who I’d always thought was beautiful, even before finding out how much I liked her as a person and a friend…even before hearing that she thought me to be very handsome.
Yeah, this was going to be difficult, but I didn’t want to put a strain on her.
“I’m sorry, Jon.”
“It’s all right, I understand,” I said confidently. “I’ll be fine.”
“Oh?” she seemed a little confused, maybe even a little hurt at how quickly I might be able to get over her.
“You know, Kat,” I began, pausing to figure out how best to explain myself. She appeared worried as I went on. “You tend to take an upside down situation and turn it upright, for everyone to see what it really is, whether we want to or not.”
There was a pause before she spoke in a small voice. “Is that bad?”
“The opposite. I would’ve liked to build a relationship with someone like you, who has a talent for order in all this chaos, but I’ll be all right. Because I know you’ll still be in my life.”
She took my hands. “I think that’s the sweetest thing a boy has ever said to me.”
I showed my confusion. “I don’t know how that’s possible. There are many more wonderful things about you than that, and I figure you’ve met many boys who like you as much as I do.”
“You should stop. I’m starting to blush.”
I got the hint that she didn’t actually want me to stop, though, as she continued to look into my eyes and held my hands. The next words jumped out of my mouth.
“You’re beautiful, you train hard, and you’re somehow even more beautiful the more sweat you work up while training. I honestly don’t understand it.”
She laughed. “I think you’re actually being honest. You’re not just saying that?”
“You know me well enough by now to know I don’t just say things. I’m surprised it took this long for me to tell you how beautiful you are, because I’m not good at holding back my words.”
I noticed her gaze drifting down to my lips again. Her breaths became heavy as she suddenly appeared nervous. She put her hand on my cheek for a moment, only to drop it again.
She looked at the door, then at me again. Her cheeks were burning red.
My heart climbed toward my throat as my pulse increased.
I could feel that something was about to happen. I had not planned for any of it, my heart already on the verge of trying to give up. But as I realized there still might be a chance, my feelings came flooding back with twice the strength.
“Kat, you don’t have to go just yet. Nobody knows we’re here together.”
She bit her lip as she looked at me. I knew this was a moment I might always regret if I did not act.
My heart was beating so hard that I barely heard her speaking as I stepped up really close to her.
“I wish you weren’t so damn handso— ”
Her words were cut off, Kataleya’s lips rushing to meet mine.
My passion exploded through me as I cupped her back and pressed her into me. She fisted my shirt in her hands. I couldn’t believe the feeling of her lips, her body pushing against mine as if yearning for more.
But it only lasted a moment before she pulled away with a smack of our lips. She rushed toward the door of my room.
Horrified, I thought she might run out, but she turned the lock instead, stilling my heart.
Then she walked back toward me, yet went right past me as if I didn’t exist.
“Kataleya?” I asked breathlessly, my trousers heavy.
She threw the curtains closed at my window, then turned back with a fiery look in her eyes.
“This is a mistake,” she said as she slowly came toward me.
“Then stop,” I suggested as I took a step in her direction.
“I’m going to.” She came closer.
“When?” I asked.
We halted in front of each other.
“After you show me how beautiful I am to you.” She jumped up and wrapped her legs around me as she devoured my mouth.
CHAPTER THIRTY
When we were finally done, I gathered my clothes and stepped into my pants while Kataleya remained in my bed. She had my sheet pulled up to barely cover half of her bosom as she lay in exhaustion, her blonde hair matted against her face, her cheeks red from our passion. It was this sight that had lured me back into bed after the first time we’d both fallen over the edge.
“Don’t,” she said with a laugh, as she saw me looking. “I can’t handle anymore.” She blew out a breath as she fanned herself with her hands.
“All right,” I said, and started to slip my shirt over my head.
“Wait,” she said. “Let me have one more look.”
I stood and posed for her. She bit her lip seductively. I felt like she was exaggerating, but I appreciated the gesture nonetheless.
“You should really get back to the courtyard,” she said.
“You’re not coming?”
“I’ll be a little behind so people don’t see us returning together. Do you mind if I leave your door unlocked?”
“I can come back and lock it later.” I sat on the bed and took her hand. “When can we do this again?”
Her mouth twisted.
Uh oh.
“We can’t,” she said. “I thought you knew? We can’t ever speak of this, either. I don’t want word to reach my family, which it certainly would if Reuben found out.”
I pulled my hand back from her hold. “Even after what just happened, you’re still not interested in continuing this relationship?”
She sat up, pulling the sheet to keep herself covered. “Being with you was everything I’d hoped for and more, but it can’t ever happen again. I’m so sorry. Please understand.”
I was confused. I had done it many times with Joanne, but it had never felt like it did with Kataleya. But part of what made my heart soar during the incredible experience was thinking that she and I would be together afterward. I had seen the way she looked at me. I had heard the pleasure from her stifled moans. I had watched her enthusiasm build as she edged closer and closer to satisfaction, encouraging me not to stop. My heart fluttered just remembering those moments.
I didn’t know how she could deny her feelings for me. I couldn’t do the same for her, especially now. She was e
ven more beautiful than I had realized, with a sharp curve of her waist accentuated by her shapely bosom that drove me mad. We’d moved together as if there was no better way it could’ve happened. I couldn’t imagine never doing this again, never seeing her in my bed again, never being this close to her again.
I stood up from the bed. It was as if my heart couldn’t decide to fill my body with rage or sadness, so a mixture of both flowed through me.
“Jon,” she said, probably sensing my feelings. She was too damn intuitive, or perhaps I was just too damn obvious.
“It’s fine,” I choked out and started toward the door.
“Jon, wait.”
“Is there anything I can say that might change your mind?”
She stared at me for a long while before finally shaking her head.
“Then I should go. Don’t worry, I will pretend it never happened.”
“Jon.”
I turned as I reached for the door.
“It was so incredible,” she said. “It did happen, and…it was just so incredible.”
I rushed back and crouched beside the bed, taking her hand. “I know it was. So why not continue this?”
A tear fell down her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “My family. We can’t continue because it’s too risky that people will find out, and…”
“And you won’t ever be able to marry this other man.”
She nodded, a few more tears escaping.
I was done. She was choosing someone else. I went for the door.
“Jon, I really am so, so sorry. I thought you knew where things stood going into this.”
I stopped with my hand on the doorknob. I took my time to choose my words carefully.
“The only thing I knew was that no one has ever made me feel like you made me feel, and I had stupidly thought I did the same for you.”
I opened my door and closed it after myself without turning around.
I had best start trying to forget about Kat, or a lot of pain would be ahead.
I needed to get back to training.
*****
I didn’t see Kataleya for a couple hours. I eventually began to worry a little, and I needed to lock the door to my room anyway, so I went back to make sure she wasn’t still there.
My room was empty, my bed made up nicely. There was little evidence that anything had occurred. I figured Kataleya was just avoiding me by not returning to the courtyard to train. I was glad for it. I wanted to avoid her as well.
But more than that, I wanted to see her. I couldn’t help it. Even if it hurt, I very much wanted to see her again.
*****
Fortunately, my training went well that day. I practiced enough to create a strong wall of dvinia that I could push against my body without my mana wanting to break apart. I was still far from adding G to the spell and grabbing myself with the energy, but I was closer to catching myself if I was to be thrown in the air by Pearson again.
I was just starting to create the wall horizontally, at knee level, and building up the courage to jump on it when Leon’s voice surprised me.
“Jon, you’re leaving the castle with me.”
“What?” I let my energy disperse into the air. I hadn’t seen Leon for days. “Where are we going?”
“The king is going to have to impose a crisis tax. We need to start spreading the word, get people used to the idea. There’s no better way to do that than healing them free of charge. I have a gold coin with the healer’s name on it in exchange for the business we cost him. We might be doing this more often as we wait for news from Rohaer, so you’d better get used to it. After we’re done, you’re helping me carry back a few things. The king is hosting a celebration tonight.”
This was too much too fast. “A celebration?”
“We don’t have time to waste. Do you have everything you need? I’ll tell you more on the way.”
I took a moment to think. “Do I need anything?”
“You tell me. You’ll be healing for at least a few hours. Yes, Aliana?”
I looked over my shoulder to see Aliana close behind me. I hadn’t heard her approaching.
“Did I hear you’re going to the healer where my mother works?”
“Come if you like,” Leon said. “Just don’t get in the way.”
“How would I get in the way?”
“I don’t know, just don’t. Are you both ready to go?”
All I could think about was the passion I had shared with Kataleya in my bedroom earlier. She still wasn’t in the courtyard. Definitely avoiding me.
Stop worrying about being with her. There’s nothing there to worry about.
“Should I bring my bow in case we encounter problems?” Aliana asked.
“Seeing as how it’s your only weapon, what do you think?”
Aliana didn’t reply as she walked away from us to retrieve her bow near the target where she’d left it.
“Well?” Leon asked me.
“Do you expect me to bring my sword?”
“What do you think?”
I honestly didn’t know. Perhaps the answer would have something to do with why the king was hosting a celebration. Was the immediate threat against us over? Then I wouldn’t need my sword.
“Looks like you’re back to your usual self,” I said over my shoulder as I went for my sword.
“I’m still recovering,” Leon replied loudly enough for everyone in the courtyard to hear. “By the way, no one asked me how I was. I think I’m insulted!”
I went into the apartments, strapped my sheathed sword to my belt, and returned.
He was still shouting when I returned. “Punishments might be in order if none of you learn to care about your instructors!”
“Oh we care,” Eden said as she leaned against the wall near the great hall. “I tell Jennava all the time that she’s doing great work.”
“Enough of that, Eden,” Jennava said from within the great hall.
I noticed Kataleya near her, our eyes meeting for a beat, but I quickly looked away as I returned to Leon and Aliana in the center of the courtyard.
“Jenn, you’ll watch over the sorcelings while I’m gone?” he yelled right near my ear.
“I thought we agreed you would stop making up words,” she yelled back with a grin.
“If I use it and you understand it, it’s a real word.”
“I’m so glad you’re finally out of bed,” she said sarcastically.
Soon Aliana and I were following Leon out of the castle. The drawbridge remained open behind us, another good sign.
“What’s the celebration about?” I asked.
“Pearson has left for Rohaer. With Cason and Luther captured, we’ll have peace for a while. We no longer have to fight the dark mages. They are gone.”
“With the king’s money,” I said.
“He will get more money.”
I’d never known Leon to be optimistic about anything, but I could contain my doubtful thoughts for now, as they didn’t seem to be helping.
“When is he imposing the crisis tax?” Aliana asked.
“Probably after he receives confirmation of Rohaer marching our way. It’s a long road between the kingdoms. Or maybe he has something up his sleeve that will stop them from leaving their territory at all. I don’t know. It’s not my job to find out.”
Speaking of something up his sleeve, hosting a premature celebration didn’t seem like the king at all.
“How do we know that Pearson has left?” I asked.
“Because he’s been seen by your Eslenda, Jon. You trust her, don’t you?”
“She reported it?”
“Yup, just a short time ago.”
“What else did she say about it? And why didn’t I see her?”
“Hell if I know. She walked right through the courtyard.”
“You were gone for a while,” Aliana told me with some curiosity to her gaze. “She came through and left quickly.”
I swallowed. “Oh” was all
I could say, as I waited to see if Aliana would mention Kataleya’s absence as well.
I could feel Aliana studying me, but I pretended not to notice as I tried to relax my face and look ahead.
We drew looks from about half the people we passed on the crowded street. There were all kinds of expressions worn by the faces of the people we wanted to protect. Aliana’s bow drew most of the focus, the large weapon strapped to her back. Or perhaps it was Aliana’s beauty that stole the gazes of many men, but it would’ve been concerning if all were curious about more than her bow, as most were much older than her.
It felt like a lifetime ago when I had first met her and thought her to be strikingly beautiful. I had quickly changed my mind after her attitude toward me had come out with what had felt to me like aggression.
Kataleya was different. Her grace and charm had taken time for me to notice, but my attraction to her had only grown the more I’d gotten to know her. Flashes of our passion, of the curves of her body, came to mind with heat through my chest. I remembered the sounds of her moans, the way her bright eyes focused on my face, then rolled back in her head. But most of all I remembered the way she felt, all of her, her lips on mine, her bosom in my hands, and our bodies connected.
Here I was thinking about her again, this time so intensely that I started to lose my breath. I felt a short panic as I realized Aliana was staring at me. I could see on her face that she knew something was amiss, and she was just waiting for Leon to part from us so she could ask.
I wanted to divulge the truth. I wanted to ruin every possible chance Kataleya might have with this rich boy. But then what? What would happen after she found out I had betrayed her trust? It wasn’t like she would fall lovingly into my arms. No, she would hate me for it.
It was just my heart thinking for me again. I didn’t want to hurt her, even if she had hurt me. There was no purpose behind it.
At least I had the memory. I felt myself smiling a little the more I thought about it. I was lucky to have experienced what I did. I’m sure there would be many men who would be jealous of my position.
But it didn’t help for long. Damn, it was going to be hard to let go of her.
Before I knew it, we were about to arrive at the place where Aliana’s mother worked as an assistant to a healer. Finally, memories that didn’t involve Kataleya flashed through my mind, specifically the man with the horrible gas. I made sure to replace that thought with something more pleasant, the way Greda and her mother had held each other and wept with relief after I had removed Pamela’s curse.