by Rebecca King
It is foolish because I can’t love him. I don’t know him, she thought sadly, ruthlessly pushing all thoughts of love out of her mind once and for all. She wasn’t an impressionable young miss anymore, with stars in her eyes and dreams in her heart of a knight in shining armour. She was Vanessa, a sensible young woman who had chosen the path she had taken in life thus far and was happy with it.
Really? Am I? She wasn’t at all sure she was happy with her lot, but was she ready to change it?
“I will help you with the investigation because I have to know what happened to Geraldine,” she murmured. “Then you will move on to your next investigation and we can put this behind us.”
“Can we?” he challenged. “Do you think it will be that simple?”
Vanessa knew they were not talking about the investigation any longer.
“Do you have any ideas on how a compromise can be reached?” she asked.
Justin sighed and slowly shook his head. There wasn’t much he could say.
Vanessa pointedly turned her thoughts to the investigation. “It has to be this way then. We will do what we need to do to capture this kidnapper. You can put him behind bars where he belongs. I can help pick up the pieces and we can both then get on with our lives, can’t we?”
“I suppose we can,” Justin replied quietly.
Their eyes met. The gulf of difference between them widened, but then suddenly narrowed. Suddenly, the physical distance disappeared. She was back in his arms, her lips captured by his once more. This time, she put all the emotion into that embrace that she dared not speak about. She knew it was the last time they would share such an intimate moment, mostly because she wouldn’t allow herself to spend any more time alone with him. The hurt she was already feeling was enough to steal her breath. To have it magnified in any way would be unbearable, and she had enough to deal with right now.
For now, all she could do was savour the moment, and hold the precious memories they created close to her heart.
It was the rattling of Graham entering through the front door that broke them apart some time later. Vanessa jerked out of Justin’s arms and stared up at him in stunned disbelief. To her shock, rather than turn to leave, or go to speak to her father, Justin lifted a thumb and trailed it gently down her cheek. In his eyes she saw pent-up emotion that was achingly similar to her own.
“Justin,” she whispered, unsure what she was asking of him.
“I can’t do this,” he hissed. With that, he released her and promptly slammed out of the kitchen.
When he was gone, she slumped into a chair at the kitchen table and put her head in her hands. It wasn’t so she could weep, as she wanted to do. It was so she could steady herself while she willed her senses to cool and reminded herself that this was truly for the best for them both.
“Was that Justin?” Graham asked quietly from the doorway.
Vanessa nodded.
“What did he want?” her father prodded when she didn’t move or speak.
He gingerly took a seat opposite her and sighed when he saw the misery on her face. Without asking, he knew they had had words – a lover’s tiff. Whatever the cause was, he knew he should mind his own business, but he hated to see her so miserable.
“A man like that is strong, Vanessa. You have to understand that.”
“He is angry that I have agreed to help them with the investigation,” she murmured for want of the truth.
“He wants to protect you,” Graham replied.
“I can protect myself. I don’t need another father,” she snapped. She looked up and suddenly wished she hadn’t spoken. “I am sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you.”
Graham pursed his lips. “He is not short of saying what he thinks is he?”
Vanessa shook her head. “He is worried that something will go wrong, but his colleagues have assured me they can protect me. Besides, Justin will be in the carriage. I can drive a carriage, can’t I? I mean, it can’t be that difficult, can it?”
“If they say they can protect you then they can protect you. I don’t doubt it. I know men like that. I saw men like them when I was in the army. They are hard with those who cross them but fight to protect the innocent and each other. There isn’t one of them I wouldn’t trust with my life. If you are safe anywhere, it is with them, I don’t doubt it. Justin is solid gold, I don’t doubt. You only have to look at his military bearing, his self-control, the way he speaks with respectful but firm authority to know that he is a man who knows what he wants, where he is going, and gets things done.”
“I don’t doubt it,” she whispered sadly.
“But he doesn’t want you,” Graham challenged.
Vanessa shook her head. “He doesn’t belong here, father. He isn’t injured and needs to keep working for the Star Elite.”
“I don’t want you think you have to stay here to look after me. I have my friends in the village and can get about. You should feel free to live your life as you see fit, and if that means going with Justin, well, I cannot think of anybody I would trust more to look after you than him. I know you. He suits you. You are both strong, yet fair minded. He needs a reason to go home occasionally and you need someone to look after,” Graham reasoned.
“I belong in the countryside, though. Do you remember our disastrous journey to London? It was awful,” Vanessa whispered with a shudder.
“It is London, I am afraid, but that isn’t the only city in the country. There are plenty of smaller towns around that area. There is no reason why you couldn’t move to one of those, and he could travel into London to work, is there?” Graham asked gently.
“But I like it here,” Vanessa wailed. “I can’t go to London. This is my home.”
“There are villages and towns all over the country that are better than here,” Graham reasoned.
Graham patted his daughter’s hand when she began to cry. He couldn’t understand why women cried when they were confused or upset. He had learned from life with his wife that it was best to let the tears flow and emotions die down before discussing problems any further. With that, he waited for the worst to pass.
Once it had, he was surprised by the change in Vanessa, and considered her with renewed respect when she sucked in a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and lifted her head to look at him.
“I am not going to let him upset me anymore. Some things are meant to happen, and some things aren’t. He has brought temptation to this door and reminded me of all the things I am not likely to have in my life, but I am not prepared to turn my life upside down for him. He won’t compromise, and so neither will I,” she declared with a firm nod. “He is adamant his life is London, and mine is here. Neither of us will budge, so there can never be anything more between us than friendship.”
Graham blinked at her when she pursed her lips and tipped her chin up defiantly. There wasn’t much he could say.
“I am going to help them with the investigation because I want to know what happened to Geraldine. If this is the way to do it, then so be it. He isn’t going to stop me. If he tries then I shall do this on my own,” she informed him pertly.
“That’s my girl,” Graham replied proudly.
He watched as Vanessa stood and made her way to the door.
“Just one thing before you go,” he called after her.
Vanessa paused and turned to look back at him.
“Just make sure you don’t try to drive a carriage on your own.”
“I don’t have a carriage,” she challenged.
“We do. It is out the back,” Graham replied. “We just don’t have the horse to go with it, but we could borrow Mr Able’s horse; Maisie. He won’t mind, I am sure.”
“Maisie?” Vanessa thought about the little brown mare who was about the most docile animal she had ever met in her life. Her heart melted a little and she smiled. “Do you think he would?”
“Let’s go and look at the carriage. With a little spit and polish, I am sure it would be good enough to use. I mean, you w
on’t go far in it, and it isn’t that hard to drive. I can show you what to do going down the road and back a bit. If anybody asks, we are doing it so you don’t have to walk anywhere,” Graham replied.
If he knew Justin the way he thought he did, Justin would have a conniption when he saw Vanessa learning to drive the carriage and would make every effort to ensure she didn’t drive it again without him being present. The man would then have to make his intentions known toward Vanessa, or risk ruining her reputation. Leaving behind a scandal was something a man like Justin would never allow to happen, therefore he would have to take Vanessa with him, as his wife, or stay, and find a compromise somehow.
Vanessa squinted at her father suspiciously. “Do you know something? If I didn’t know better, I would think you are doing a bit of matchmaking. I hope not, father,” she murmured quietly. “He isn’t able to compromise. He lives for his job, you know that.”
“No man can be that removed from the world, Vanessa,” Graham challenged. “He is just a little dense, that’s all. His work won’t bring him much softness, of that I am sure. He won’t be used to handling the emotions he will be facing and will try to ignore them – until he realises there is no place he can go to avoid them. He will come to his senses, you will see.”
“What if he doesn’t?” she whispered.
“Then the man doesn’t deserve to be in your life. You are best to wave him off and be glad to see the back of him,” Graham assured her. “Come on. Let’s go and see if that carriage still works, shall we?”
Encouraged by the idea of a wonderful afternoon travelling the roads in a carriage with her father, Vanessa hurried out of the kitchen after Graham who, for once, had a spring in his step.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“It’s wonderful,” Vanessa breathed as they turned the carriage around and headed home for about the third time that day.
Maisie was happy to plod along on the short journeys they had taken around the village, leaving Graham with nothing more to do than show Vanessa how to stop, start, and turn the carriage around. It was Vanessa who was driving now.
“Good morning, Reuben,” she called when they passed the shy man.
He lifted a hand, then quickly ducked away and scurried off.
“Do you know, I think you should start to use the carriage more as well, father,” Vanessa suggested when she saw the small smile of contentment on her father’s face as he tipped his head back to enjoy the warm sunshine.
“I know it is wrong to be so happy while Geraldine is still missing, but I have spent so much of my life stuck in that chair before the fireplace that this is quite liberating. This, and Geraldine’s disappearance, is a reminder that life is to be lived. It is damned stupid that I fought to survive on the battlefields during the war only to waste my life away in the house all the damned time. Why didn’t I do this earlier?” he murmured.
“Because you have had the ghosts of the past to vanquish,” she replied knowingly. “It has been a long battle and it isn’t over yet, but you are nearly there.”
“I know. Doing things like this will help. It will not only make our lives easier but will be inherently safer for you to travel this way even when the kidnapper has been caught. We can all take lessons from what has gone on here of late. Even villages like this aren’t immune to their own crimes and scandals. It is just a shame that it has made everyone so wary.”
Together they watched Reuben disappear around the back of the church.
“He doesn’t get any better,” Vanessa murmured with a sigh.
“I doubt he will now,” Graham warned.
“At least we know the carriage is fine,” she said when they turned into the driveway at the side of the house and Vanessa pulled the horse to a stop.
She looked around while her father climbed down but couldn’t see either Justin or his colleagues. Firmly reminding herself their activities had nothing to do with her, she quickly tied the reins the way her father had shown her and climbed down herself. She met her father at the horse’s head.
“I am going to take Maisie back to Mr Able,” he informed her.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind going if you are tired,” Vanessa offered.
Graham shook his head. “I am going to have an ale or two while I am at the tavern. I hope Mr Gilmore is there. I hear he has a horse for sale that would do us just fine. If he is there, I can see what we can do about buying it off him. We can always put it in the field out back. If I clear out the old stable, and fix the roof, it will be fully functional in no time.”
“Just don’t wear yourself out,” Vanessa chided, watching him leave.
With time on her hands, she glanced about the empty garden, but nothing interested her. She stared at the neat and tidy house she had called home for as long as she could remember. Her father had made sure it was maintained, but it really hadn’t changed from her childhood days.
“Maybe it is time to move on,” she murmured. “Father seems to be doing so.”
As she wandered aimlessly around the house looking for something to do, she felt a strange wave of discontent sweep through her. It was something she had never felt before whenever she had thought of home. Until now it had been her sanctuary, the place where she had sought solace and respite from the world around her. Now, she felt the walls close in on her, and age her far beyond her years. Her father’s words hovered over her and echoed around the empty rooms.
“What will I be like in ten years’ time?” she whispered in dismay.
Shaking her head when the thought became too disturbing to contemplate, she turned her attention to making dinner. Absently, she gathered the items she would need and put them onto the kitchen table. One by one she prepared the vegetables, all the while contemplating what it was she wanted out of life. Each time she considered the possibilities she found herself turning back to the one thing she truly wanted – a life with Justin.
“Is it possible?” she whispered. “Could I? Should I? I don’t know him.”
It was at times like this she truly wished Geraldine was around because she would have discussed this with her sister. Even though she doubted Geraldine would have been of any help because her usual gung-ho attitude toward life had gotten her into many scrapes over the years, Vanessa would have at least had the opportunity to hear another person’s – woman’s – point of view. Now, all she was left with was her thoughts, and they didn’t give her any answers whatsoever.
“Do you always talk to yourself when you cook?” Justin asked quietly from the doorway.
Vanessa screamed and whirled around. Her heart thundered heavily, and her fingers shook as they clutched the paring knife she had been using.
Justin stepped forward and eased it out of her hand when she didn’t immediately lower it.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he murmured, not releasing her hand as he threw the knife onto the table.
Vanessa’s gaze dropped to their clasped hands. She knew she should tug hers away but couldn’t move. Her gaze fell to his lips. Deep inside, a tell-tale flurry of warmth began to engulf her.
Before Justin could speak, the door opened behind him and he was forced to step away.
Oliver, Niall and Aaron entered the room.
Vanessa, a little shaken still by what had just happened, greeted them all with as much aplomb as she could muster, and offered them a seat only for them to refuse. It was clear from the way they all stood awkwardly at various points around the room that they had something to tell her, and she wasn’t going to like it. Justin gave her no clues. His face was polite yet impassive as he looked at his colleagues, and carefully avoided her gaze. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his colleagues by being intimate enough to call him by his first name.
“What is it?” she asked the man closest to her: Niall.
“Are you still prepared to help us capture the kidnapper?” he asked.
Vanessa nodded.
“How did the dri
ving go with your father?” Aaron asked when she didn’t speak.
“Well. I have gotten the hang of what I need to do,” she replied. “Why? What is going on?”
“If you have no other plans, would you be prepared to go on a journey about five on the hour?” Aaron asked.
Vanessa’s heart flipped. Her gaze flew to Justin’s.
“Today?” she whispered, suddenly feeling nervous and sick at the same time.
“There is no time like the present. There is nothing to say that the kidnapper is even in the area today. If we try at the same time every day, then we can establish a routine he may see. It might be enough of a lure. Of course, Justin is going to be there if anything happens,” Niall informed her.
“You will?” she whispered, trying hard not to stare at him.
Maybe he regrets what we shared, she mused regretfully. Maybe he wants to keep his distance because he cannot offer you anything more.
Aware that she couldn’t and wouldn’t have a dalliance with him, Vanessa decided to follow his lead and keep her distance.
“All we need you to do is drive the carriage into town and back again. Can you do that?” Aaron asked.
“Well, I could, but father has just taken the horse back to Mr Able. She must be tired after today,” Vanessa explained.
“We have already sorted a horse out for you to use,” Aaron informed her. “If you are happy to use your carriage we are all set to go. Justin here is going to climb into the back before you leave, and you can then be on your way.”
Vanessa’s eyes widened. “Now?”
Justin nodded. “You do realise the time is now four thirty, don’t you?”
Vanessa shook her head.
“By the time we are ready it should be five. So, if you want to get your cloak, Aaron is going to get the carriage ready, and Justin will hide himself in the back. We are going to leave and get into position and will be with you all the way.”
Vanessa stared at them for a moment but then forced herself to nod. While she had readily agreed to their suggestion, now that the time had come to actually go through with it she wasn’t at all sure she could. It was only the mental image of Geraldine that forced her to rise out of her chair and go to fetch her cloak. While her sister remained missing, Vanessa couldn’t truly settle her mind to anything. So, in her quest for answers she had to be true to her word and do whatever it took to help them catch the kidnapper.