Mistakes

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Mistakes Page 5

by A. M. Hayward


  I knew how hard that was for him to say, and I reached out to touch his hand. “Thanks Dad. I really did have fun. It was very eye-opening.” I started thinking about Jack again.

  “I just want you to understand that one of the reasons it’s so hard for me is because I see all the money those people have, and I just get so angry that I can’t give you and your mother that lifestyle. They don’t even realize what they’ve got. Life is just too easy for them.”

  “I know Dad, but you have to know they aren’t all bad. I met some nice people. I’m just asking that you trust me. I really can make my own decisions sometimes.” I knew I was laying the groundwork for my trip to Padre. For them to ever allow me to go, they would have to trust me.

  “I’ll try to keep an open mind and let you make some choices,” he said as he got up from the table and kissed me on the cheek. “Goodnight, Maddy. Have a great day tomorrow.

  “Night, Dad,” I mumbled back.

  Tomorrow I was going to start Operation Padre, and there was no one better to have on my team than my best friend and manipulator extraordinaire. I couldn’t wait to talk with Aimee, but I would have to downplay Jack’s involvement if I wanted this to work. She’d made no secret of her dislike of him, but I was willing to give him a chance. He’d been so sweet and charming. I’d just let Aimee know how important it was to me, and she would help. Besides, she loved to scheme.

  Before I went to bed last night, Jack texted me, saying he would pick me up from school. He wanted to go out for pizza and talk about the trip. I was on cloud nine.

  As I got ready for school, I knew I would have to smooth things over with Aimee. She was probably still upset, seeing that we hadn’t talked since our argument. Without the Aimee factor, Operation Padre would be a bust. Plus, I would never even think of doing something like this without her.

  My parents would never agree with my going all the way to Padre without them. They’d heard the stories about how wild the parties were, and although they trusted me, they would definitely put a stop to all my plans.

  To be honest, the thought of spending a whole week with Jack was both exciting and terrifying. I really wanted to get to know him better, but I knew he was more experienced than I was; that much was obvious. I guess I was afraid he might take things too far before I was ready.

  I was a virgin, and as odd as it sounded for a girl in this day and age, I wanted to actually save myself for that special someone. It may or may not be Jack. Only time would tell, but if he wanted to make love, I didn’t know how I would handle it.

  I knew in my heart that he wanted something more from me. He wanted someone who was ready to be with him. I was talking myself into it, but I was a little afraid. The last thing I wanted was to scare him away because I was too chickenshit to have an adult relationship.

  My raging inner-conflict was giving me a headache, and it was only seven-thirty in the morning.

  The last thing I wanted to do was to go to school for eight hours. I could barely brush my teeth without thinking about him. How on Earth would I be able to concentrate? I had known him less than forty-eight hours, and he was already consuming my soul. Although, that should have alarmed me, it actually had the opposite effect. I was excited and happy.

  Picking out the perfect outfit was the biggest obstacle. I almost called Aimee for help, but if she knew why I was agonizing over my outfit, I doubted that she would be willing to help. I wanted to look beautiful for Jack.

  I settled on a nice pair of jeans and a tight-fitting dark green shirt, purposely wearing one of my favorite bras that helped to accentuate my chest. Unlike most days, I left my hair down, and it fell in curls to my shoulders.

  My mom yelled from the kitchen, “Maddison, you’d better hurry. We have to leave in ten minutes!”

  Last night I had told her I was going out with a friend after school, and they’d drive me home, so she offered to take me to school with her today.

  “Coming Mom!” I called back and took one last glance at my image in my full-length mirror.That’s when the gravity of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. I was meeting a BOY. What if he realized that I was just a middle-class nobody?

  I studied myself and the reality of my appearance reflected back at me. My jeans were old, my shirt was faded, and I needed a new hairstyle. This one was really outdated. I looked like a child and I was going to embarrass myself today. He probably wouldn’t even get out of the car.

  “Maddison! If you want a ride, I’m leaving. Let’s Go!” Mom shouted.

  Time was up. This would have to do. My Cinderella story was fun while it lasted.

  I trudged down the stairs sadly, grabbing my backpack as I rounded the corner.

  “My! You look so beautiful. What has you looking like a million dollars today?” Mom asked.

  Her question was a simple one. It was meant to be a joke, but the idea that I really didn’t look like a million dollars was lingering in my mind.

  “Right!” I huffed. “Like I could look good in these rags.” I glared angrily at my mom, taking my frustrations out on her. “Why don’t I ever get new clothes? I’m sick of looking like the hand-me-down kid.”

  “For heaven’s sake, Maddy, those jeans are only about a month old, and since when do you care about what everyone else thinks about your clothes anyway?”she chided as she picked up her purse and headed for the garage.

  “God, Mom! I’ve always cared. I just never said anything because what good would it do anyway? It’s not as if we have the money to do anything about it.” I knew I sounded bratty, but I couldn’t help it.

  Mom stopped at the doorway and turned abruptly to me. “Now listen here. You have more clothes in your closet than most girls around the world. You have a roof over your head, and a family that loves you. I will not stand here and listen to you being a spoiled little brat just because you think you deserve to wear a different outfit every day. Now, get your butt in the car, and let’s get to school so I can make some more money to buy you more rags to wear.”

  Oh, shit. Mom was mad and really had every right to be. What had gotten into me? I kept my mouth shut and followed her to the car.

  The ride to school was somber and quiet. I tried to think more about my meeting with Jack, but that just brought me back to how inappropriately I was dressed. Stealing a few glances at my mom, I could tell she was still angry, so I choose to remain silent. I really wanted to apologize, but I was tired of being told over and over again that we weren’t good enough or rich enough, and so I selfishly continued to take out my frustrations on her. She was the one that insisted that we shop at outlet stores and complained about my outrageously expensive conditioner.

  Neither of us spoke when the car came to a stop in her parking space. Instead of taking the high road and apologizing, I merely grabbed my bag and rushed out of the car. Mom and I have had our share of arguments, and I knew that we would talk more about my outburst later. It was hard to make her understand that I wanted to feel normal. Sometimes, I wanted to come to school and be like everyone else.

  School was a nightmare. It could not have been more boring as time crept by. Each time I looked at the clock, I swore it was moving backwards.

  Finally, the lunch bell rang, and I could finally grab some food. Walking into the cafeteria, I found there wasn’t a line and was served right away. I found a table and sat just staring out the window. As I thought more about it, I couldn’t believe what I’d said to my mom this morning. I really needed to stop rationalizing my behavior and apologize. It was eating at me.

  “What’s up, girl?” Aimee said, plunking her tray on the table and pulling me out of my thoughts. I smiled up at her and a look of shock crossed her face, “Woah. Why are you dressed to kill? Are you trying to get an A in chemistry or something?”

  My smile dropped. I didn’t really want to get into another discussio
n about my clothes, so I changed the subject. Since it appeared she’d blown off our argument, I cut straight to the chase.

  “Aimee, why didn’t you tell me you were going to Padre for spring break?” I asked as I popped a carrot into my mouth.

  She shrugged and gave me a questioning look. “I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d be able to go anyway, so why rub it in your face?”

  My mood from this morning reared its ugly head again. “What, you think I’m not good enough to go with you to Padre? Maybe you didn’t think I could afford it?”

  “Good grief, are you PMSing or something? Shit. That’s not what I was saying. Get over yourself already. I was merely pointing out that there’s no way in hell your parents would let you go all the way to South Padre, on spring break no less.” She was only reacting to my rude behavior, and I was upset with myself for being such an ass for the second time this morning.

  “I’m sorry. I know you’re right, but I really want to go.” I looked at her with a devious grin.

  “Wait a minute. Why are you looking at me like that?”she said, eying me warily.

  “Come on. You’re my only hope. If you can’t come up with a plan, I might as well lock myself in my room and die an old spinster.” I knew I was begging, but I didn’t care.

  “I don’t know,”she said with a gleam in her eye. “Lying to your parents about going to a ball is a completely different level of deception than lying about spending a wild and freaky week on the beach.”

  “So, you’ll help me?” I squealed, and threw my arms around her neck.

  “Now, wait just a minute. We have a lot to think about.” She laughed and pushed me away. “But yeah, I’ll try to help you. Padre wouldn’t be the same without you.”

  “Oh, gosh, you’re the best.”

  Then she looked at me. “How did you find out about spring break?”

  I knew I was turning eight shades of red, and I looked away to stare at the kids next to me.

  “Come on, Maddy. If you’re making me help you lie to your parents, the least you can do is tell me why I’m doing it.”

  “It was Jack,” I stated blankly. “We were talking last night, and he asked me to go.” I turned back to her. “I know what you’re thinking, but I really like him.”

  She eyed me carefully. “Oh, sweet Jesus. What am I going to do with you? You finally find a guy you like, and he happens to be the Spawn of Satan.”

  “That’s not fair. You’re not even giving him a chance. I swear you have him all wrong. I just can’t believe we’re talking about the same person. Is it so difficult for you to think that he might actually like me?” I could feel the tears coming.

  “You know that’s not true.” She sighed and handed me a napkin. “Look at me, Maddy,” she said gently. “I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I really want to believe that he has…,” she paused, “changed for you. That would make me happy, but girl, like they say, you can’t change a leopard’s spots.”

  I sniffed and nodded. “I know, but he’s so sweet to me, and he’s the first guy to make me feel…,” I said and looked up at her before I whispered, “beautiful. I hope you can give him a chance.”

  “I wish you could see how beautiful you are. You don’t need a guy for that, but hey, I’m not going to judge. If you want him, I’ll support you. And if by chance he does dump you, I’ll be there to help you back up. I’ll cut off his balls first, but then I’m all yours.”

  I laughed as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I knew Aimee would be there for me even if she didn’t trust Jack. “Thanks, Aimee. So, how do you feel about going to get pizza with us today? We need to come up with a plan.”

  After lunch, I felt much better about my situation,but that didn’t help time move any faster. My last class was study hall, and Mr. Johnson had me tutoring several of the jocks in biology. Although I was only on the fringe of being in the popular crowd, they were all friendly to me. I think everyone saw me as a nice, friendly goody-two-shoes.

  I had been helping Tim with his biology assignment, and for the fifth time in the last fifteen minutes, I tried to explain the difference between a positive and negative ion. Thankfully, the bell finally rang, and we were gathering our things, when Tim stopped me.

  “Hey, Maddy. Why don’t you ever come out with all of us? You would have a good time. I know everyone thinks you’re a pretty cool chick.”

  I blushed and adjusted the straps on my backpack. “You know what they say ‘once a bookworm always a bookworm.’ ”

  I tried to laugh at the awkwardness of the situation, but he continued to push the issue.

  “It would just be great to have you come out some time.” He dropped his head, and I stood there dumbstruck.

  “Are you asking me out on a date?” I asked.

  He stammered and moved away, “Um…no…not a date. Just…” Then he sighed and said, “I don’t know. I just think you’re a cool girl, and I would like to get to know you a little better. “

  For the second time in less than a week, two gorgeous guys had asked me out. The problem was that I had already fallen for Jack’s charms. Tim didn’t stand a chance now.

  “Thanks, Tim. That would be great. I’m sure my boyfriend would love to meet some of my friends.”

  I was trying to let him down easy, but he looked crushed. Then he pulled his backpack to his chest, and as he walked away, he said, “Yeah, that would be great. See you tomorrow.”

  I knew he was upset, but I wanted to be with Jack now. I felt a little bad since Tim was such a nice guy. Maybe if it had happened before I met Jack, things would have been different. Although he hadn’t officially declared our relationship status, I was sure that after spending a week with him, we would both be clear as to what we meant to each other.

  It was almost four by the time I got to the front of the school. Aimee had wanted to drive me herself, but I really wanted to spend a few minutes alone with Jack. In his car. Watching him drive. Shifting gears. Oh, God, I was so messed up.

  I laughed to myself as I glanced around the parking lot, but my heart fell the moment I realized he wasn’t here. Maybe Aimee was right, and he was just leading me on. I made up my mind I would wait a few minutes before I turned into a sobbing puddle on the front steps of the school. That might just draw unwanted attention anyway.

  Watching the other students file past me, I became the silent observer. I’d never really noticed all the couples before, but now they seemed to be everywhere. Holding hands as they walked to their cars, sharing kisses before they left to go home, giggling at some private joke. I wanted that.

  I sat here, staring at my watch—just past four—waiting for some handsome, amazing guy who was more than likely just messing with me and my emotions.

  Just as I was about to give up hope, I heard a honk. I lifted my eyes and saw a beautiful black Corvette sitting in front of the school. Then I heard his voice.

  “Damn. Did someone kill your dog? Why the long face?”

  I jumped to my feet and sprinted to his car. So much for trying not to look desperate.

  As I closed the door, he leaned in toward me, and I did the same. When he placed a light kiss on my lips, I melted into the seat with a smile on my face.

  “Hey,” he said as he put the car in gear.

  I was too stunned to speak, and he just chuckled at my shocked expression.

  “What? Cat got your tongue?”

  He was laughing at me, and I was finally snapped out of my stupor. “No, I’m just glad you came.”

  “Why wouldn’t I? I did make a promise, and truth be told, I’ve been looking forward to this all day,” he said.

  It was about a fifteen-minute drive to the pizza place, and on the way, we talked about how busy our days had been. He actually seemed genuinely interested in my drab
high school ramblings. We kept the topics light, and once again, the conversation seemed effortless.

  Before long, we pulled into the pizza place, and I didn’t want to get out of the car. Just being this close to him was doing wonderful things to my body. I started a conversation, as I wanted it to be just us for a little while longer.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but my friend Aimee is going to join us. If anyone can come up with a plan to help us get me to Padre, it would be her,” I blabbered as I looked around the parking lot for her car.

  “Nah, I don’t mind, but I don’t think she’s going to like it much. She and I don’t seem to get along so well,” he said.

  “Yeah, I heard,” I mumbled and then looked at him. “But don’t worry. I’m a big girl, and I make my own decisions.”

  He chuckled, and then placed his hand on my cheek. “I’m very glad to hear you say that. Now, shall we go in? I haven’t eaten here in a while. Is the food still good?”

  We found a booth near the back of the small restaurant, and I was very happy when he slid into my side of the booth. We ordered our drinks and a large pizza, and made small talk until Aimee arrived about twenty minutes later.

  “Hey, bitches,” she said as she plopped her ass into the seat across from us. Then she glared at Jack and said, “And I mean that in every sense of the word.”

  “Nice to see you too, Lancaster,” Jack responded in an icy tone.

  Something had happened between these two, of this I was sure, and I needed to question her about it later. The tension at the table was thick, and things were not going as planned. I needed to think of something fast. Thankfully, the pizza arrived, and I had the diversion I needed.

  “Hey, Aimee. We ordered for you. Hope you don’t mind the combination,” I said as I passed her a plate.

 

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