Mistakes

by A. M. Hayward

  I hadn’t really thought of that, and it made me even more depressed. The idea that they could even take away my sense of time was a hard pill to swallow.

  He paced back and forth as far as his chains would allow. Dalton didn’t have the luxury of getting to shower each day, and the dirt and grime colored the crevices of his skin. If he were to walk down the street, people would have thought he was homeless, but he was still beautiful to me. He was the only bright spot in my existence. I couldn’t imagine my life here without him.

  Before I could get too emotional, Dalton said, “So, yesterday you were telling me about your friend, Aimee.”

  This was more of our routine. Although the days were filled with a lot of silence,Dalton and I had learned so much about each other. It was comforting having someone there and hearing another human voice. I knew he could tell when I was getting down, and he would always start talking about our families. Like every other day, it was hard to get started. We talked about my family, and how bad I felt about lying to them. Dalton would always reassure me that when I returned home, they would be so relieved to see me that all of that wouldn’t mean anything. We also talked about his younger years and the troubles he had as a teen. Bringing those memories to the forefront of my mind was painful, but the longer I talked, the better I felt.

  “Come on, Maddy. Tell me about Aimee. From some of the stories you’ve told me, she’s a real character,” Dalton prompted.

  For some reason, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to remember. “Not today. Please,” I begged.

  “Maddy! Look at me. You can do this, and you’ll do this every day until you go home. You have to remember your family and your life before this. You have to stay true to who you are. Don’t let this define you. Now, tell me something funny. Some story about Aimee that makes you smile,” he said as he continued to pace around his side of the cell. “If not for yourself then for me.” He looked over at me. “Please?”

  I let his words sink in. I could do this for him. If he needed this, I would help him. My mind worked to find a memory worthy of discussion. It worked so well, I actually laughed to myself, remembering some of Aimee’s crazy antics. It must have shown on my face.

  “There we go. You just thought of something, didn’t you?” Dalton said and settled onto the dirt floor with his legs crossed, waiting for me to begin.

  “Yes, I did. Aimee was always getting into situations that most people would never imagine. As you might have learned by now,she has a knack for finding drama in even the most innocent of situations.” I chuckled and said, “She and this boy she was seeing, I believe his name was Michael, had decided to have a romantic evening at his parents’ house. The parents were supposed to be out of town, giving them free rein.” I paused to giggle. “She packed at least five different sets of sexy lingerie, condoms, and whipped cream. She tried to explain the uses for the whipped cream, but I just tuned her out.”

  Dalton was laughing, and it gave me the courage to continue.

  “The evening was going well, and at some point during the movie they were watching, they began to get make out. Aimee wanted everything to be perfect, so she excused herself and told Michael to meet her in his parents’ bedroom in fifteen minutes. She raced up the stairs to get ready, elated that she’d finally get to put one of her sexy outfits to good use.”

  “I can only imagine.” Dalton chuckled.

  “Michael came in, obviously pleased with the outfit, and then she gets the bright idea that it would be really kinky if he tied her to the bed. She finds some silk neckties that belonged to his father and he ties her hands to the headboard. At that point she remembers the whipped cream, and Michael leaves to get it.” I looked over and shrugged at him, smiling. “I’m sure you can see where this is going, but true to Aimee’s world, nothing is ever as simple as it should be. Yes, his parents did come home, and yes, they did find her tied to their bed.” I was full on laughing now, and Dalton joined me. “However, his father was thrilled, thinking Aimee was a gift from his wife. Apparently, they were a bit freaky.”

  “Holy cow. What did she do?” Dalton laughed harder.

  “She pulled her hands out of the ties, grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed, and ran the three miles home. She never went out with Michael again.”

  “I’ll bet. What happened to him? Did anyone ever find out?” Dalton asked.

  “Michael changed schools soon after. I guess they were afraid it would get around, but it never did, and as far as I know, I was the only one Aimee ever told. I never saw him again.”

  The laughter continued and Dalton said, “I’m sure there was never a dull moment with her around.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled. “I miss her.” I sighed. “Do you think I’ll ever see her again?”

  “I’m sure of it. We’re going to get out of here, and you’re going to live a full life. I have to believe that, and I want you to as well,” he said with conviction.

  We sat in silence for quite a while. I really hoped that Aimee had made it home safely. I knew in my heart that I would most likely never see her again, but I truly wanted her to live a happy life. I could only imagine what she was going through right now. Probably blaming herself for leaving me, but it wasn’t her fault.

  “I guess I just worry that they’re going to come in here and drag me out to sell me before we get a chance to get away.”

  True to form, Dalton was encouraging. “You can’t think that way.”

  “If they do sell me, what will happen to me?” I knew the answer, but I needed to hear it.

  Dalton sighed and rose to his feet. He must have walked for ten minutes before he spoke again. I knew he was trying to find the right words, but his silence only confirmed my suspicions.

  “Do you really want to know what I think? If you do, I’ll tell you, but I think you already know, and I don’t think either of us can handle saying it out loud.” His eyes were so conflicted.

  I shook my head. Maybe I didn’t want to know right now. “You’re right, and I won’t ask again until I’m ready to hear the truth, but when I do, will you tell me?”

  “I promise. If you ask me again, I’ll give you my honest answer.”

  Just then, the door opened, and Acosta walked in with our evening meal. Had we really wasted another day?

  “Mentiroso.You should tell her the truth.”

  It was the most he’d ever spoken, and I sat in shock as he came over to kneel next to me. “Hope is lost for you, I’m afraid,” he said with an eerie smile.

  “Leave her alone!” Dalton screamed. “Don’t tell her anything. She knows the truth.”

  Acosta brought his hand to my face and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Oh, I know she does, but does she know that I save for her too?”

  “You bastard. Get your hands off her!”

  Acosta’s soulless eyes continued to hold my gaze. He ran his tongue along his chapped lips and suddenly pushed me to the ground. Crazed laughter filled the room, and I curled myself into a tight ball. I was used to the leering glances of Javier’s men during my shower time, and I had been subjected to many demeaning moments, but this was different. I refused to move and prayed he wouldn’t make me.

  Finally Dalton said,“He’s gone. Don’t worry.” I was still shaking. “Maddy,” Dalton said, attempting to shake me out of my panic.

  Pulling myself upright, I nodded to show I was okay as I stared at the plate of food in front of me. There was no way I was going to be able to eat that right now, but I knew if I didn’t try, we’d both suffer.

  “It’s actually pretty good. They’re using salt again,” Dalton said with a smile.

  I tried to return his smile, but it must have looked more like a demented grin. We settled into our comfortable silence as we ate our meal, and all I could think was, We need to get out of here or we’ll die.

&
nbsp; “Maddy, you have to finish your breakfast. There’s no way you can swim on an empty stomach,”mom demanded.

  I looked at the kitchen table in disbelief. Mom had gone all out. There were pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs, toast, and jam. “Good grief, Mom. Why did you have to make so much? If I eat all of this, I’ll sink to the bottom of the pool,” I joked. “Besides, I’m not very hungry.”

  “Listen to your mother. She went through a lot of trouble to make you a good breakfast before your competition today.” I hated when my dad scolded me.

  I realized I was outnumbered for this argument. “When will I get a say in my life?” I grumbled as I picked up a piece of toast.

  “Now you stop right there, young lady,” Dad reprimanded. “We’ve always had your best interests at heart, which is something a lot of people in this world would give up their right arm for. We are a family, and we love you, but we will not sit here and listen to a whiny teenager tell us how mistreated she is. I can promise you there are lots of girls your age that would give anything to live in a family like yours. I see their posters on the wall of the post office every day. The only thing left of them is a piece of paper with the word lost at the top, so, you need to start appreciating what you have instead of pointing out how oppressed you think you are.” With that, he pushed his chair back in disgust and left for work.

  I looked over at Mom, still holding the toast between my plate and mouth. “What was that all about?”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sakes, Maddy. Did you not listen to a word he said?” She picked up our still-full plates, but on her way to the sink, she stopped.

  “Mom, what is it? What’s going on?” I asked as I came up behind her.

  I placed my hand on her shoulder, and she turned quickly to wrap her arms around me. I could feel her warmth and sorrow as sobs wracked her body.

  “Mom, please. Tell me. Did something happen?” I was beginning to get really scared.

  Her crying abated somewhat, and she whispered,“Kristie Walker was kidnapped last night, and we just heard that they found her body about five miles from her home in a dense part of the woods. She was only sixteen.”

  “Maddy. Maddy. Wake up.” A frantic male voice that was not my father’s filled my ears. “Maddy, get up.”

  Something hard hit me in the head, and I opened my eyes with a grumbled, “Ouch.”

  “Sorry, but I need to you up. Something’s going on. I’ve been hearing voices all morning, and about five minutes ago, those voices turned to screams. I’m not sure what’s happening, but I want us both to be awake if they come in here,” Dalton hurriedly explained.

  I could hear the screaming now, and it sent chills through my bones. “What was that? What are they doing?” I was truly frightened, and I clung to Dalton’s hands. This was it. We were going to be separated.

  “I don’t know,” he said dropping my hands as he got up and started pacing like a lion. I placed my hands in between my knees, trying to keep myself together.”For most of the morning, I could hear mumbled voices of women in one of the rooms close to us. Then a few minutes ago, they all started screaming and calling for help. Every once in a while I could hear Javier or one of his men yelling at them to shut up.”

  “Javier said that he was going to be getting more ‘assets.’ I guess he found them.” I looked at him, my eyes filled with horror.

  “Shit. They’re coming. Stay calm,” Dalton whispered as keys jangled outside the door.

  Javier strolled in with a smile on his face. “Good morning to you both. I am sorry to say that breakfast will be a bit later than usual. We’ve had a very busy morning.” I hated him and his smug face. Neither Dalton nor I said anything, and Javier continued. “I’m going to need your help, Miss Maddy, to talk to our newest arrivals.”

  “What? Why me?” I stuttered in a small voice.

  “Are you questioning me? I would hate to think that you were forgetting our agreement.”

  I froze for a second and quickly looked at Dalton and then back at Javier. “No, sir. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. I just don’t know how I could possibly help.”

  Javier chuckled. “I suppose it is an odd request, but if you would indulge me a moment, I will tell you how you can be of service to me. I’ll even be willing to let your insubordination slide if you promise to do your best at the task I am giving you.”

  Suddenly my throat was as dry as the floor under my feet. I looked over at Dalton who was staring at me as if he were trying to remember my face. Was this the last time we would see each other?

  He tried to give me a small smile, but Javier interrupted the exchange by screaming, “I have no time for this! Let’s go!”

  Before I knew what was happening, I was unhooked from my chains and Javier was gripping my arm tightly, leading me down a dark hall. I tried to move quickly, but I was weak, and we were going in a direction I’d never been in before.

  “Keep up!” he yelled at me. I started looking for another escape route, but I panicked and couldn’t concentrate.

  The screaming got louder and louder. With each step, I felt more and more frightened. This was it. This was to be my fate.

  Javier stopped suddenly in front of a wooden door, and I almost fell over as he released me.

  Immediately, his voice became calm, and he spoke in quiet whispers. “Maddy, it is very important that you explain the rules to these women. Show them how good it can be here if they behave. Can you do that for me?”

  Good God. He wanted to use me to make these women conform. I had no choice but to let him use me in whatever capacity he wanted. At least this was better than some of the alternatives I’d contemplated. But how could I go into this room and tell these women to give up their fight and that their lives were over?

  Javier traced the tears that ran down my face with his finger. “I know this is going to be hard for you, but I can tell you now, you’ll be doing them a great favor.” I shivered, and he leaned in toward me and whispered in my ear, “If they do not learn, I make you watch as I put a bullet into each one of their brains.”

  My eyes were wide with fear as I nodded, tried not to cry, and got myself under control. I had no choice. If I couldn’t convince them, they would be killed. A part of me that wondered if they wouldn’t just be better off dead, but I knew I would never be able to live with their blood on my hands.

  “Good girl. I knew you were smart,” Javier said with a smile as he opened the door.

  I was horrified at the scene in front of me. There were seven women tied to chairs in the middle of the room. All were naked, and I sawevidence of the beatings they had endured. I was beyond shocked and wanted to throw up immediately; I couldn’t do this.

  “Ladies, if I could have your attention,” Javier announced. “I have brought you a gift. My last gift. If you do not comply with what she tells you, I will have no choice but to rid myself of you.”

  He moved me from my spot at the door and said, “This is Maddy. She has been here for a while, and is going to let you all know how good it can be to cooperate, so listen to her.”

  Some women looked at me with anger in their eyes, and others as if I was their last hope. In a way, I guess I was. I felt a nudge at my side. Javier was getting impatient.

  I bowed my head. “You need to listen to everything they tell you. If you do, you’ll be fed, cleaned, and left alone. If you don’t”—I took a deep breath—“if you don’t…there’s no way out. They will hurt you and beat you.” My voice faltered. “This is your life now.” I couldn’t stop the tears from running down my cheeks. Saying those words out loud just reinforced my own helplessness.

  Some of the women began sobbing, as it seemed they were beginning to understand their fate. Then suddenly one woman screamed, “You little bitch. Are you his whore? Did he send you in here to make us feel sorry for you? Fuck
you and fuck him. I would rather die than become a weak little fool like you. Look at yourself. You’re nothing but a dirty whore who’s only trying to save herself. You’re disgusting.”

  I was shocked. Her words hurt, maybe because on some level I knew what she was saying was true. I didn’t want to be beat again, and I didn’t want Dalton to suffer for my actions. I could feel my resolve slipping as my knees gave out, and I fell to the floor.

  She continued her tirade. “See what she is? Don’t listen to her. We have to fight. Is this what you want to become?” she said, trying to get the other women to listen to her, but most were sitting there with heads hung. “Fuck. You’re all so fucking weak.”

  Javier started to walk away from me, and I knew what was going to happen. “Wait please. Let me try again,” I begged, and he nodded.

  I pulled myself up from the floor and walked over to the enraged woman. “You’re going to die in a few moments. That man is going to walk over here, put a gun to your head, and pull the trigger. Please listen to me. There’s another way. Stay with us, calm down, and do as they say, I’m begging you. Please.”

  My eyes were glued to hers, and I noticed that she was searching for an answer. Then I realized that for all her talk of strength, she was petrified. “I can’t be here. I don’t want to give into them,” she whispered. “I’m not as strong as you. I would rather die now than live out a slow death later.”

  There was nothing more I could do. She’d already decided her fate. I went to step back, but she silently pleaded with me to stay. “My name is Alexia. Don’t forget me,” she sobbed.

  “Never,” I promised. I didn’t see the gun until it was right against her temple. Our eyes never left each other, and I watched in horror as the blast took off half the back of her skull. Covered in blood and brain matter, I looked up into Javier’s face.