"What would the dragon look like if it didn't look like a dragon?" Zeriel asked.
"Sometimes they can take various forms, depending on what their rider wants them to be. Isn't that right, Gavin?"
Gavin nervously laughed as he rubbed his neck and backed away from Xair. "I . . . I don't know what you're talking about, Ata-Lin."
Xair's large purple eyes smoldered with anger. "Do you know what happens when one of my leashed demons lies to me?"
Gavin bowed. "Forgive me, Ata-Lin. I do know what you are talking about. Gavy, my gryphon, is a baby dragon in disguise. That's why he loves coconuts so much. All dragons love coconuts. He was the dragon that was summoned fifty years ago at the last Cleansing that was successful. Most Cleansings don't work because too many of the paladins have broken their vows. However, there was so much pure energy in the air last time that if Jaylen had been sacrificed in The Cleansing, there would have been a dragon summoned. And it possibly would have been an Elder Dragon."
"Why would the clergy want to summon dragons?" Zeriel asked.
"That is the part I don't know. I only managed to steal Gavy away from them because I was quick to jump on the baby dragon's back and ride off into a rift. Usually, the dragons are summoned an hour or so after The Cleansing is finished and they are immediately bound in chains then taken into an underground facility below the temple. What happens down there, no one knows. There are magic barriers in place that prevent anyone from entering."
"Why didn't you say anything before? We could have saved so many innocent paladins from being slaughtered. You knew that The Cleansing wasn't to bring back the sun."
"Of course I knew that. But until now, I've had no reason to get involved. I try to let Carvael do whatever he wants so he doesn't try to pry into my personal life."
"And what about you, Xair?" Zeriel asked. "Why haven't you ever tried to stop it?"
"Because I don't like paladins. The world will be a better place if they're all dead anyway. Not that I would ever do anything to hurt Jaylen, but paladins have done some very bad things to my people that I'm not able to forgive. Yes, I know it was over a thousand years ago, but there were paladins back then too. Besides, I love dragons. My father was a dragon."
"What?" Zeriel asked.
"Oh. I probably shouldn't have said that. Well, if I'm working with you guys, then I might as well divulge at least a little about my personal life, huh? Yes, my father was an Elder Dragon. So I guess that makes me half dragon, right? Don't get any funny ideas about riding me, either. Before you ask, no, I cannot turn into a dragon. Well, I do believe that is enough drama for one day. I will let you and Jaylen have some time together to further sort this out. If you need me, I will be in the backyard doing more training with my newest demon. Come with me, Gavin."
"Yes, my Ata-Lin."
Chapter 12
Zeriel studied his paladin who had gone to the window and stayed there silent for what felt like an hour. Neither one of them had said another word since Xair and Gavin had left. A thick uncomfortable feeling hung like fog in the air as the tension grew to a boiling point. To Zeriel's surprise, Jaylen was the first one to speak.
Jaylen placed his hand on the cold glass where the orange mage-glow flickered from the streetlamps outside. "Things were easier as a dog." He leaned closer to the window, his breath fogging on the glass until his nose touched it. "Dogs don't have to face reality. They don't question themselves and every action they've made in their lives. They don't feel guilt. They don't struggle on a daily basis to not kill themselves. Dogs live moment to moment, existing to please their owners or perform acts that are asked of them. They have simple minds. I envy them."
"Jay . . ."
"I wanted to hide away, to know what it was like to be punished for things like my father did to me. I needed that. I had to atone in some way for everything. The closest things I had were my memories from my childhood when Doran would put a collar on me and make me whimper like a dog while he beat me. Even through all of that, I knew that when he was done, I would be petted and called a good boy. I needed to hear that again and to be rewarded for withstanding the punishments for my actions. But then, I became so entranced in it all that I lost a part of myself. I tried to not be human anymore. I wanted to only be a dog. I thought that it would make things easier, but I guess I was wrong."
"So what now?"
Jaylen shook his head as he traced the lines of frost that clung to the window. "Who knows? I suppose I have to be a human now."
"Do you want to be a dog?"
"It's more that I don't want to have to face what I've done and what I've lost. But staying trapped inside my mind like that won't help anyone. I've found a new way to atone." Jaylen picked up his longsword that was still sticky with his blood. "I need to atone."
Zeriel wanted to take the sword away from him, but something told him not to. Instead, he changed the subject slightly. "You partially dressed yourself today. You're making improvements."
Jaylen scoffed as he thrust the tip of the sword into the wooden planks of the floor and left it there. He opened his dresser then pulled on a pair of pants. "Because I overheard what Xair said about everyone. A dog can't avenge his fallen comrades or rescue his friends who were taken prisoner. No. A man has to do that. A paladin."
"That's the Jaylen I've been missing."
"Where are my mother's pain pills?" Jaylen asked.
"What? Why do you need those? I wasn't aware that there were still any in this house."
"She kept them under the floorboards beneath the bed. I tried to find them last night after you had fallen asleep in the main room, but they're gone."
"Is your jaw hurting?"
"It's always hurting. But that's not why I need the pills. Never mind." Jaylen pulled his boots on then wrapped his dark grey cloak around his shoulders. "Go fix me something to eat. Something warm and hearty."
"Where are you going?"
Jaylen pried his sword out of the floor and went to the hallway. "To get my life back."
* * *
Jaylen stormed out of the house and into the backyard where Gavin and Xair were sparring with magic flying in the eerie yellow mage-glow. They both stopped what they were doing and stared at him like they were seeing a ghost. Jaylen ignored their concerned questions about if he was feeling better or if he was okay. Instead, he drew his sword then knelt down at Gavin's feet and set his blade down respectfully in front of the incubus. "Train me."
Gavin looked up as Zeriel exited the house. "Zeriel, what is going on? What is this about?"
"You heard the boy. Aren't you going to answer him?"
The incubus looked puzzled. He glanced over at Xair who looked amused at the entire situation. "Ata-Lin?"
Xair spun his wooden staff in the air then it vanished. "This is interesting. A demon has a paladin on his knees in front of him begging to be trained. This is certainly something that doesn't happen every day. A demon and a paladin sparring? Oh, this should be hilarious . . . I mean beneficial to my research. Yes, you have my permission."
Gavin looked down at Jaylen. "What happened to you? Not a dog anymore?"
"A druid demon tamer slapped some sense into me. Please teach me what you know, Gavin. You know how to fight with both blades and demon magic. Teach me both. I know I can cast magic even without my other hand. There has to be a way. If that vampire can make me do things with my blood, then you should be able to channel your shadow magic through me as well. Most of all, you know what Carvael's weaknesses are. I need to know how to kill him. He was behind the attack at the fort as well as this entire war with Wolfekin. I have never killed anyone out of malice and revenge before, but I need to start. I'm ready."
Gavin took Jaylen's hand and helped him stand. "Well, then you've come to the right person. I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, Ata-Lin. But I am the most powerful being here. None of you have seen my true power because I have been trying so hard to conceal my true identity. The only reason you can control me
is because I allow you to do so, Ata-Lin. I cannot be controlled by your simple runic leashes partially because I am only half of a full soul. To leash me completely, you would have to leash Carvael as well. But I will serve you because I want to serve you, Xair. It feels good. After all, I do love being submissive to the orders of handsome men."
Xair's face showed his utter lack of enthusiasm. "Do not flirt with me, demon. I will not make the same mistakes as my ancestors. They tried to mate with demons and look what happened to them."
"So Ka'taylins can mate with dragons but not demons?" Zeriel asked.
"Of course. Carrying the blood of a dragon is a very prestigious honor in the upper castes of society."
"You were upper class?"
Xair waved his hand. "Oh, please. Do not insult me by grouping me with a few petty squabbling rich men. I am Xair Korvin, Heir Sultanate to the Arcane Throne! In your society, I am the equivalent to a prince. I was going to be sultan. But things happened. Those same things are what kept me from ever attaining the title of master, which is why I am forever trapped with the quite inappropriate title of journeyman. Everyone knows that I deserve to be a master."
"What were those events?" Zeriel asked. "What happened to you?"
"Ha ha! You are quite humorous, angel. I haven't lived this long giving up my private information to everyone who asked. Besides, if I told you everything about myself, then what happens to my mysterious intrigue? I would be quite boring, I assure you. Now, I am needed at the harbor to greet my guest who should be arriving shortly. Gavin, do what you can to train Jaylen and don't ask who I'm going to meet. You are always so curious about my life."
"Who is your guest?"
"Are you trying to get on my bad side? Stop playing around. Get to work." In a burst of wind, Xair morphed into his raven form then flew off into the darkness over the city.
Jaylen was bouncing on his toes with excitement. "Come on, Gavin. Let's do this. I want to learn. I need to fight."
"This isn't going to work. You know that, don't you?" Gavin asked as he started back towards the house. "I mean, I'm truly flattered that you would come to me for this, but I can't help you."
"Why not? Come back! You can't just walk away from me."
Gavin stopped and drew his twin thin daggers from his back. "I can spar with you all you want, but I can't miraculously make your magic come back. Sure, it's always in you, but you can't use it without both of your hands. I'm sorry, but without that amulet, you aren't a mage."
"I am a mage. I am one of Sola's chosen paladins!"
"Don't scream at me, boy. I am trying to help you. If you don't stop, I will-" Gavin stopped talking when an emergency horn filled the air. "That's from the military camp. Oh, no. No. This isn't good. I remember what today is now."
"What?" Jaylen asked. "What's going on?"
"Stephan and Carvael. It's the Wolfekin invasion. He rescheduled it after your debacle with being eaten by an archdemon. Both of you, go inside and stay there until this ends."
Zeriel took Jaylen's arm and started to lead him inside, but Jaylen wasn't about to pass up this chance to confront Carvael.
Jaylen pulled away from him. "Let me go. If you want to stay here like a coward, then be my guest. Not me." He held his sword into the air. "I will not sit here and watch as my country is invaded. You can come with me or you can stay here, but I am going."
"You can't! If anyone sees you with a sword or even near the military, they will kill you."
"Then I will be a happy martyr."
Gavin whistled for his gryphon. "Let him go. But if he goes, I'm going as well. If we confront Stephan and Carvael, then I vote that we end this now. I think it's about time that vengeance finds a voice through justice. That is, if things line up correctly."
Jaylen took Zeriel's cane from him as he held it out. "Can you fly?"
"I can try. I can't carry you, though. I'm still hurting."
"I know."
"Take Pegasa. She's behind the shed. I had to make it into a makeshift stable. And Jaylen?"
He turned back around. "Yes?"
"Don't be afraid to keep living."
Jaylen opened his mouth to ask what Zeriel meant by that, but he instead choked back the words. He knew exactly what he meant, but that would be much harder to do than anyone would have thought. Even as he tried his best to focus on the imminent danger and the possibility of a battle in the near future, Jaylen's soul was in absolute turmoil. Xair had been right. His soul was at war with itself and the longer he went without being able to cast his light magic, the stronger the pull of the shadow became. It terrified him to think about what might happen when the darkness completely took over. For some reason that scared Jaylen more than anything in the world, he had resigned to the fact that he would eventually lose control. And when that would happen, he would be prepared to end himself before he hurt anyone. And he meant it.
Chapter 13
As they flew over the terrorized city where the citizens ran in their panic, Jaylen was busy concocting a plan. He had to have a plan. "Zeriel?"
The angel flew closer to the winged horse. "Yes?"
"No matter what happens today, know that I love you. Know that sometimes good people have to do bad things in order to do what's right. I have to get my friends back."
"I know. We will look for them after we stop this attack."
"That's not good enough. I have been weak for too long. But there has been something bubbling up in my soul that I cannot push back down. I guess I have too much of my father in me. I wanted to apologize for what I'm going to do before it happens."
"Apologize for what?" Zeriel asked.
"You will find out soon enough. You have been a great friend. I thank you for that. I am so very sorry. With all of my heart, I apologize. If things go horribly wrong, know that I love you. I will always love you, Zeriel."
Zeriel reached out and placed his hand on Jaylen's arm. "Do what you have to do. I trust you."
"You won't trust me in a few minutes."
"We will see, Master."
When they flew over the main parts of the city, Jaylen's ears were filled with the screaming of the people who were carrying buckets filled with water from the stream and the wells to douse their houses and shops. "Look at all the smoke. Sola's rays . . . Ilyan is on fire." He then saw a group of paladins in red from the other squads who weren't at the fort. They were standing in a circle in the middle of the chaos and performing some sort of ritual with a giant shadow. "Look down there. Paladins."
"Red paladins. I still don't trust them and now I see that I am correct to feel that way. Let's hurry up and try to put a stop to it."
"Wait. What are they doing?" Jaylen asked.
"They're summoning demons."
"Demons? Why would paladins be summoning demons? I don't understand."
"Did you ever get the feeling that maybe you're fighting for the wrong side in this war?" Zeriel asked.
"No. Never. This is my homeland! I will never side with werewolves and necromancers."
"Then you're prepared to side with demons?" Zeriel asked.
"I will side with whatever force I have to in order to remain loyal to my country. I am a sworn defender of this land, Sola's blessed country. If Ilyan falls, Vilyron falls. If Vilyron falls, I will fall as well." Now was not the time to be discussing this. Jaylen took Pegasa lower. "Zeriel, you go try to rescue anyone who may be trapped in those burning houses."
"Where are you going?"
"I can't do much without my magic. I'm going to the courthouse to try to get my amulet back."
"Be careful." Zeriel called to him. "Don't use that thing. You don't need it. That magic will kill you. Whenever you put that thing on, you start doing weird and dangerous things. It messes with your mind. And with your mind already in this fragile state, there's no telling what it will do to you. Don't take the risk."
"Go meet up with Gavin, wherever he went. We can't lose anyone else."
"As you wish."
Jaylen leapt from Pegasa's back and landed in the thick mud that covered the tops of his boots at his knees. He started to sink deeper, but he grabbed onto the reins and slapped the horse's leg so she would walk and pull him out. Once he had scraped some of the chunky mud from his legs, Jaylen dashed up the white marble steps and into the courthouse. He ignored the guards and instead barged into the inner empty courtroom where one man was drinking wine at a small table in the corner. He could smell the cedar in the air. The vampire was near. "Give me my amulet back!"
"Cousin?" Prince Averin stood up from the table. "You're all right? You've recovered?"
"I don't have time to answer questions or play games. I know there is a vampire here who has my amulet. I need it back immediately so I can fight off the werewolves." When his cousin didn't move or answer him, he stomped his feet. "Please! Prince Averin, why are you not out there with your men? Why are you sitting here drinking? Didn't you hear the horns? Don't you know that we're under attack? Ilyan is being invaded as we speak. Half of the city is burning."
"Only the half that needs to be burning."
"What? What are you talking about? The fire is getting close to the castle. The royal family is in there."
"Don't you think I know where my family is, Jaylen?"
Then it hit him. "Sola protect me. Please tell me you don't mean what I think you mean."
"Young innocent Jaylen, you always have been the one of us who valued justice and doing the right thing, even when you got punished for it. But the right thing isn't always the best thing, especially not for the future of an entire nation."
Jaylen jumped when the heavy wooden doors of the courtroom were slammed shut and armored soldiers lined the walls. They had their swords at the ready and all eyes were fixated on him. "Why are you doing this, Averin? You're a good man. Don't fall to the temptation of power. You will gain the throne anyway when your father dies. Let him die naturally."
"But there's something you're forgetting about me, Jaylen. I'm not a patient man. I'm also a tiny bit paranoid. I don't want to go through all the trouble of waiting for my father to die then take the throne only to be constantly looking over my shoulder to check if one of my brothers has a knife pointed at my back."
Angel of Darkness Books 1-5 Page 48