by T Gephart
But I hadn’t heard a peep.
Not from her anyway.
The messages in my inbox were still accumulating. More women than seemed reasonable had pressed on the match button beside my name, and if I’d had any other way of contacting Hayden, I’d have deleted the stupid app altogether.
I should’ve gotten her number.
Complete stupidity on my behalf, thinking I’d have time in the morning before she left. Hadn’t counted on her leaving so soon though, or not bothering to say goodbye. I wasn’t even mad, knowing she must’ve had a reason. And if not for the lack of means to call and tell her I wanted to see her again, I wouldn’t be half as annoyed. It was right there and then I decided that if I was given a second chance, I wouldn’t be wasting it.
“Heard you were at Gino’s last night. With a woman.” Riley was doing his best to look shocked, his stupid grin letting him down as he swung keys around his finger. “Are the rumors true? And before you answer, know Tibbs is already trying to get the security footage.”
I shook my head, wondering how long it was going to take before one of them found out. Vera liked to talk, and despite him being married, she still had a thing for North. “You heard of knocking?”
“Why would I knock? I have a key.” He scrunched his brow like he was genuinely confused.
“The key is for emergencies, or if I lock myself out. Not for you to come and go as you please.” I clipped him over the ears as he took a seat beside me on the couch.
He chuckled, shoving the keys into his pocket. “It was a wellness check. Heard about the date, so I needed to be sure you were okay. What if you’d had some kind of senior episode and were wandering around in your tighty-whities babbling about communists?”
“Could have called, my phone still works.”
“And missed out on all this fun? Not a chance.” He stretched his arms, anchoring his hands behind his neck. “So, you gonna tell me? Or are we going to have to call Vera in for a debrief.”
I was surprised it was just North, and the whole battalion hadn’t joined him to get the skinny. The stationhouse was a family—a big, loud, meddling family—and personal business didn’t stay private for long.
“Did you not tell me to go out and get laid? I believe it was your wife who set up that stupid profile in the first place.” I rolled my eyes, the conversation not original since it was his usual go-to.
North’s head snapped up, his hands raised in surprise. “Firstly, when have you ever listened to me? And secondly, you got laid? Wow, this is even better than I thought. Wait a second, I’m going to need a minute to recover from the shock and then you can proceed.”
Me and my big mouth.
It wasn’t like me to kiss and tell, but with North it was tough not to overshare.
“Be respectful,” I warned, not in the mood for Hayden to be stationhouse fodder. “And I’m not telling you shit other than we went out and had dinner.”
“I’ll be respectful, but you’re delusional if you think I believe all that happened was dinner. It’s written all over your face, Chief, and you’re forgetting I know what you look like when you’re trying to bluff.”
I needed to change my locks.
And get a better poker face.
“Why are you here, North? Other than to bug the hell out of me.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on. Trying to change the subject was probably a lost cause, but I figured I’d give it a shot anyway.
He sighed, chest rising up and down as he took a deep breath, letting the smile drop. “Quinn threw me out. And before you start, I didn’t do anything. Well, maybe I left a wet towel on the floor, but we both know that isn’t what it’s about. She’s uncomfortable and can’t sleep, and if yelling at me helps her through it, then I’ll do whatever she needs. She’s carrying my baby, Chief. Nothing I wouldn’t do for either of them. I was giving her some time to cool down, figured I’d pick up some ice cream on the way home.”
“Jesus, North. You’ve come a long way, kid. And I don’t say it enough, but I’m proud of you.” I clapped my hand around his neck, getting a little emotional at how much he’d grown. He was a good man, and for whatever part I’d played in that, I was fucking pleased.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m amazing. Old news, Mack.” He smirked, cocky grin spreading across his lips lacking the humility he’d shown less than a few seconds ago. “Tell me something I don’t know, like who’s your lady friend and what’s she like.”
It was tempting to shut my mouth.
To tell him to go buy Quinn some flowers or cake and go back home.
But the two of us had been through some tough times together, and there was probably no one in the world I trusted more. Plus, whether I wanted to inflate his ego by saying it out loud or not, he was really fucking perceptive. And if ever I could use some input, it was my current predicament.
“I hope I don’t regret this.” I shook my head, scrubbing my face with my hands. “Something about her has me so interested, it defies logic. Yes, she’s beautiful, but other than basics, I know nothing about her. But I get the feeling she’s got some baggage, has no idea how gorgeous she is, and probably has some self-esteem issues. She’s skittish too, left this morning without saying goodbye.”
I waited.
Waited for North to make some crack about her spending the night, or that I’d slept with someone I clearly didn’t know well. But he didn’t, shutting his mouth like he was actually giving it some thought.
“Have you sent her a text or tried to call?” It was a logical question, and I couldn’t even be mad at him for asking.
“She didn’t give me her number, or her last name, or an address except for a general area. I know she works at Target, but no idea which one. And yes, I realize what this sounds like. I sent her a message this morning on that stupid app, but she hasn’t responded.”
“Maybe she hasn’t—”
“She saw it. Been online. Look, honestly if she’d rather not see me again, I can live with it. Not saying I’d like it, but I’m not going to camp at her door like a fucking rejected frat boy who’s worried about his reputation. But when I got her alone, and she let down her walls a little, we connected. At least I thought I did. Thought it was worth pursuing.”
Hearing it out loud wasn’t doing me any favors. I sounded less like a grown-ass man, and more like a clueless teenager with no hair on his balls. But it didn’t change the facts, nor did it quell the uneasy feeling I had on the way things were left. Sure, I knew what we’d done was consensual, and she’d been just as into it as I had. But the radio silence didn’t speak volumes for me being the decent guy I was trying to be.
“Chief, all jokes aside, considering this is the first woman we’ve even discussed since the Wicked Witch of the West, I’d say it’s worth pursuing. And yeah, I know there have been other women, we’ve already established you can’t bluff for shit. But not even one has rated a mention.” He slung his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in for an awkward sideways hug.
He always did have such a colorful way of referring to Melinda, not that I wanted to think about her or her latest request, let alone tell Riley about it. My parameters for sharing had a limit, and that surpassed it by a long shot.
“So? Got any ideas? Or did I just give you extra material to roast me for the next twelve months?” I hoped for both our sakes he could throw some extra enlightenment on it, or at the very least, forget everything I’d said.
Riley tipped his chin, meeting my eyes. “Nah, Chief, I don’t need any extra material. I’ve got plenty to last me a lifetime. But I do think this is above both our pay grades, and we need some extra help.”
“If you so much as breathe a word of this to anyone at the station, kid, I’ll have you scrubbing bathrooms for an entire month.” I narrowed my stare, my threat not an idle one.
“Relax, Chief. I’m not telling them shit,” he laughed. “But I do think we should speak to Quinn. She will absolutely know what to do. Plus, if
you come back with me, she’s less likely to throw me out again.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Using me for your personal gain is wrong, kid. I thought I taught you better than that.”
“Hey, we’re both getting something out of it. I see no victims here, old man.”
It was tempting, but talking about Hayden behind her back didn’t feel right. It was bad enough I was having the conversation with Riley, involving Quinn was too much over the line.
“North, as much as I would like to make your life easier, I’m going to take a pass. Go buy her the ice cream or whatever it is she wants and go be with your family, kid. And thanks for stopping by.”
“Okay, Chief. And now that I know there’s a chance you might be entertaining, I’ll be sure to knock the next time.” He shot me a wink as he stood. “And for what it’s worth, anyone who spends more than five minutes with you knows what kind of guy you are. Even if she didn’t say, she’d have seen it. She’ll message you back, Mack.”
I joined him on my feet, shook his hand before walking him out. I had no doubt that by the time he got back to Brooklyn, at least one of us would be having a better night, and I’d assumed it would be him.
It was only after I’d settled back onto the couch, deciding whether to reheat the leftovers I had in my fridge or order out when my phone buzzed. Not sure why I bothered to look, the alerts had been coming all night and none of them were worth reading. But whether it was instinct or dumb luck, my hand wrapped around my phone seeing her name on the screen.
Finally.
Didn’t even think twice, clicking open the message as fast as my thumb could swipe.
Hey Mack,
Not sure about Saturday, will have to check my schedule but hoping you’ll still go and be judgmental enough for the both of us.
Hayden
I knew a brush off when I saw one, and that one was fairly clear. But because I had nothing much to lose, I figured I’d respond anyway.
Doesn’t work like that, Hayden. Team effort is required for judgment, it’s no fun if you don’t have a wingman. Will take a raincheck for when your calendar is free. How was work? Hasn’t been any reports of stray bodies circulated on any news agencies, always a good sign.
Mack
How she responded would dictate my next move. If she came back with the same lukewarm bullshit, then I’d let it go. But if she cracked open that door just a little, I was going to take it.
No bodies but it was a close call. How about you? Many fires?
Hayden
And there it was. She wanted to know how my day went. All I needed to hear.
We work 24 on, 48 off, so whatever fires there were, were dealt with by someone else. You do have me curious about this close call though. You should probably talk to management about hazard pay, I can help you negotiate a good rate.
Mack
You moonlight as a negotiator? What other skills do you have that I don’t know about?
Hayden
And P.S. A club? I thought we agreed we were anti clubs. Unless this is a cry for help? If this is really Mack, what band recorded their highly successful album The Downward Spiral in the house Sharon Tate was murdered? Don’t Google.
Please. That was too easy. Nine Inch Nails. And I feel there should always be an exception to every rule, was willing for Club Retro to be mine. As for my other skills, only disclosed on a need-to-know basis. And I’m not interested in giving you any more cheesy one-liners. But if you give me your number, we can discuss it.
Mack
There was a chance I’d pushed too far and should have continued with the back and forth a little more. But I also knew that every single time she sent a message, it could be her last and I wasn’t repeating last night’s mistake.
Come on, Hayden, just give me your number, sweetheart.
The phone was still sitting in my palm when it buzzed again, her number included. Didn’t even give it a chance to settle, adding it to my contacts and dialing quicker than I probably should’ve.
“Hello?” She answered on the second ring, saving me from having to leave a voicemail. I never did well with those stupid things, preferring to talk to a human rather than a machine.
“Hayden, it’s Mack.”
“You weren’t kidding when you said you were going to call,” she laughed, the sound of it fucking magic. “I thought you meant tomorrow or next week.”
“Didn’t see a point in waiting. I already told you I wasn’t working, and I assumed you were done too.” I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face, still surprised to be speaking to her on the phone. Hadn’t seen that coming.
“Well, one job, yes. I was going to get some dinner and then do some transcripts.” I could hear the weariness in her voice, hedging a bet she was probably dead tired. But as much as I should’ve let her go, relax and enjoy whatever was left of her night before she had to start working again, I didn’t.
“Funny you mention dinner, I was just about to get some myself.” I swallowed the rest of what I was going to say, wanting to ask her if we could eat together. “So why don’t you tell me about your day.”
She took a breath, hesitating a beat or two before launching into a story about a woman wanting a discount. She laughed, admitting that she called her ma’am just to piss her off and was surprised when her manager didn’t wave the “customer’s always right” card. Had to admit, I liked hearing her talk and from what I could work out, she was happy to share as long as it wasn’t too personal.
There was a pause, her words of the day coming to an end and the air sitting still between us. I was about to say something when she beat me to it.
“Hey, so I guess I owe you an explanation about this morning.”
Could hear the hesitation in her voice even over the phone, and knew it was something she didn’t want to discuss.
“Actually, no you don’t. You don’t owe me anything, Hayden. So how about we leave that for another day and we talk about something else.”
I swear I could almost feel the breath of relief. “Sure, so why don’t you tell me more about these secret skills you have.”
“Not a secret, just don’t advertise them. Like to keep a bit of mystery.” I forgot all about dinner, settling back into the couch as we spoke.
“Oh, like what? Now I’m really curious.”
“Well I could try and impress you and mention I can bake a soufflé. From scratch.”
“What kind of soufflé?”
“Any. Sweet, savory—the basic principle is the same.”
“Sensing there’s a story here. It’s an odd thing to be good at.”
“My mom owned a bakery, nothing flashy but it was fairly fancy considering she’d been self-taught. Anyway, when we were younger, she’d pay me and my brother to help out. She’d pay us more depending on how much we could do. For example, sweeping didn’t get as much as measuring ingredients. So, because we wanted to earn as much as we could, it became a competition between me and Patrick. We’d try and outdo each other, and I always liked a challenge.”
She gasped, probably guessing where the story was going. “Did you literally look up one of the hardest French dishes to attempt?”
“I sure did.” I laughed, remembering I couldn’t even pronounce it. “We were super competitive. Figured if I could do that, I’d out-earn him for sure. And I did, baked enough soufflés to buy my first car.”
“I’m sure your mom was pleased.”
“Yeah, think she assumed I’d follow in her footsteps, go to culinary school. But after I bought the car, I kind of lost interest. It was always only a means to an end.”
“Do you still know how?”
“Oh yeah, was kind of burned into my brain. I make them for the crew at the station sometimes. They give me shit about it, but not one of those bastards complains when they’re eating.”
“Speaking of which, I am starving, and all this talk of soufflé hasn’t helped. I should go and make some dinner.”
“Or you c
ould come over, and I could make you one.”
It shot out of my mouth so fast, it barely had time to register. Not that I would be taking it back, refusing to make it sound like the invitation was anything but on purpose.
“Look Hayden, this deal has no strings attached. You can come, I make the thing to prove that I can, get to keep my bragging rights and you can leave. There are no expectations.”
I didn’t blame her for being hesitant, it sounded cagey as all hell. Hey, come over to my place and let me cook you a fucking soufflé but I won’t try and screw you. But I would and could keep my dick in my pants and my hands to myself. And regardless of what we’d done the night before, I wasn’t expecting a repeat. Hell, at this point I’d be happy just to see her again, and considering how things had been going earlier that wasn’t a guarantee.
“I shouldn’t, I have to work tomorrow and—” I waited for her to finish. Ready to hear all the reasons why it wasn’t a good idea. It was late, she was tired, she had to get up early, she didn’t want to travel to Midtown. But as we sat on the line, the sentence stalled out, she didn’t finish it.
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll start and hopefully by the time I pull it from the oven, I won’t be eating alone. See you later, Hayden.” And without adding anything else, I ended the call.
There was no way of knowing which way it was going to go. There was a better-than-average possibility I was going to mess up my kitchen and be sitting at my table like a moron, eating soufflé by my damn self. But I didn’t care, there was a chance. And at that point, a chance was all I needed.
Hayden
GOING TO SEE him had not been the plan.
Hell, I wasn’t even sure talking to him on the phone was a good idea, but when he asked for my phone number, I only hesitated for a second. I didn’t even understand why I’d done it, having been so careful to keep myself at a distance. But Mack was a guy who wasn’t easy to ignore.