“Yeah, I’ll add it to my list.” I said. Maybe in a couple of centuries. If I remembered, that is.
He picked up the head and paused. “Perhaps you’d like to keep it.”
What did he expect me to do with it? I hadn’t killed it. The demon, or human, had been no threat to me. It wouldn’t be of any interest as a trophy, and after all my time living as a human, I wasn’t as fascinated by dead flesh as I’d once been.
“As a snack for your pet, maybe?” he asked.
For a second I thought he meant Wyatt. Then I realized he was referring to Boomer, my Plott hound hybrid, my hellhound. There was nothing Boomer loved more than feasting on corpses, but I hadn’t expected an angel to offer one up to him, like a Milkbone. It was a touching gesture.
“Oh yes, thank you,” I said, taking the head and putting it by the back door. I’d run it out to Boomer later. He usually wasn’t up and about until nightfall anyway.
“Well, let’s get to the rest of this,” Gregory said, rubbing his hands in anticipation. I looked at the paperwork in despair. This was going to be the most boring day of my life. Outside the actual council meeting, that is.
“There are four hundred and twenty eight items on the agenda, but we’ll only cover three hundred and thirty three because that is the number deemed most auspicious for this particular council session.”
Angels were fucking crazy, but anything that reduced the workload was okay with me.
“Quite a few of the agenda items deal with matters internal to Aaru. You won’t be expected to weigh in on those, so, in the interests of time, we won’t review them. I brought the summaries though, so you can bring yourself up to speed if you’d like to educate yourself further.”
“Where in Aaru do you hold the meetings?” I was envisioning a big fluffy cloud with a huge conference table and PowerPoint presentations. That would be funny.
“We’ll be meeting here. On Earth. In a conference center.”
I laughed. “Do you guys usually hold Ruling Council meetings in a Marriott? I thought with your distaste for corporeal existence you’d want to hold them in Aaru where you could float around without bodies.”
“We normally do,” he confessed. “But there is strong resistance to your presence in Aaru. Many don’t believe you truly are the Iblis. And there are those who feel the demons have forfeited their seat on the council since they haven’t had an Iblis since the exile.”
Great. The angels didn’t recognize me as the Iblis. The demons didn’t acknowledge me as the Iblis either; they treated me the same as they always had. There was no rise in my status, no fanfare, nothing. No wonder the title had been unclaimed for two and a half million years. It wasn’t worth shit. It didn’t bring anything but boring meetings and endless fucking paperwork.
“So you guys are seriously all going to manifest physical form and sit around a big table with flip charts and nasty hotel coffee?”
“Yes.” He didn’t sound happy about the prospect.
I reached for the nearest stack of papers, but Gregory halted me with an outstretched hand.
“There’s a demon at your door,” he said right as a knock sounded.
My foster–brother, Dar? Hopefully not another one of those Low hit men. I went to the door and was surprised to see Leethu.
“Ni–ni,” she said in a delightful sing–song voice. She kissed me on the forehead. Leethu was a Succubus, and thus was too fragile for the traditional types of demon greeting.
“Leethu, what’s up?”
“I’m hoping you can put me up for a couple of days,” she said, with a flick of her long, black hair. “I’m in a little trouble back home. I’ve popped over to let things cool off a bit.”
She was putting out pheromones like crazy, trying to convince me to let her stay. I wondered what she’d done to want to hide out with me. I liked Leethu, though, and wouldn’t mind having her around for a bit. Hmmm, maybe the monogamy Wyatt expected didn’t extend to Succubi? Because those pheromones she was coating me with were mighty nice.
“Sure, come on in,” I told her, opening the door and standing aside.
Harpy noises were more pleasant than what suddenly assaulted my ears. Leethu let out a piercing scream that went on and on. I grabbed the sides of my head, certain my brains were exploding out my ears, and realized that she’d seen Gregory.
No demon ever survived meeting an angel, especially this angel. Except me, that is. I’d forgotten how alarming it was to see one, how threatening his presence in my house would normally be. Leethu was terrified, convinced her death was at hand.
“Take her, take her,” Leethu wailed, thrusting me in front of her as a kind of demon shield. Her pheromones became erratic and tinged with fear. She cowered, trying to edge back out the door while screaming her fool head off.
“Shut up,” Gregory thundered.
I could have told him that was not the way to deal with a frightened Succubus. Leethu began the high pitched scream again, when it suddenly ended.
“That is the most offensive noise I’ve ever heard,” Gregory said, rubbing a faint trace of blood from an ear. I was surprised mine weren’t bleeding.
I looked back at Leethu, who was still holding me in front of her with an unusually strong grip. She was like a fish out of water, her mouth gaping open and snapping shut without sound, her eyes huge in her lovely face.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “I know this angel. He’s not going to kill you.”
“I might,” Gregory growled. “I really want to.”
I wrestled free from the demon and dragged her by her clothing over to the sofa. She struggled with all her might, taking the angel’s threat seriously.
“I’m the Iblis. I have duties I must perform that involve my meeting with angels. He’s here to go over some of them. He’s here a lot.” I glanced over at Gregory. He was here an awful lot lately. “I’m happy to have you stay here with me, but you’ll need to be okay with him hanging around.”
The Succubus made a slashing motion across her throat and pointed over the edge of the sofa at the angel.
“You’re safe here. It’s sort of like an embassy. I won’t let him kill you.” I looked over at Gregory to confirm. I wasn’t sure if that was true or not.
“I’ll try to restrain myself.” He glared at Leethu, which wasn’t helping me calm her down at all.
I faced him and crossed my arms in front of my chest, frowned and tapped my foot. I’d seen humans do this before with great results. It was worth a try.
“Oh, all right.” He turned to face Leethu. “I promise I won’t harm you as long as you are under the protection of your Iblis, but you need to abide by behavioral standards to keep your immunity. Is that understood?”
Leethu nodded and held her throat with both hands in a choking gesture. A smile flickered across the angel’s face.
“I’m assuming you’re not asking me to throttle you? No? Okay, I’ll allow you sound once more, but if you make that horrible noise in my presence ever again, all deals are off.”
The Succubus nodded frantically, and she made a soft whimper as Gregory released her from her silence.
“You really are the Iblis, Ni–ni?” she whispered, darting nervous glances at my angelic guest.
“Yeah. Wanna trade?” I asked hopefully.
“Never.”
I didn’t think so. Nobody wanted to be the Iblis. I didn’t want to be the Iblis.
“Go upstairs and pick out a bedroom. Not mine,” I added. She pouted, clearly disappointed. “Just stay out of the way and I’ll come get you when we’re done here.”
Gregory watched her scurry up the stairs and turned to me with his eyebrows raised.
“She’s an older foster sister,” I confessed. “I was really young when she hit puberty and went off for training, so I don’t know her that well. She seems nice enough though.”
Gregory’s eyebrows rose further.
“Aside from the screaming, that is. She is a Succubus too,” I ad
ded, feeling the pull, even from upstairs. I needed to ask Wyatt for a hall pass. Or maybe she wouldn’t count? Or maybe he could join in? She wouldn’t be rough with him during sex like other demons would.
“ She’s a Succubus?” Gregory asked in confusion. “That’s got to be the most disgusting demon I’ve ever encountered.”
“Well, she really wasn’t at her best right now. She’s actually very strong. She’s probably got a determined suitor shoving his or her breeding proposal down her throat. It’s the pheromones. She’s right to let them cool off a bit, put some distance between them.”
He shook his head.
“Didn’t you feel it? Wow. I just want to bury myself in her when she turns it on. It’s hard to say no when she’s like that.”
“I find her terribly unappealing, even with the chemicals, the aura, and the power leak. I can’t imagine who would want to be in the same dimension as such a creature.”
Maybe angels were immune? “You’ve surely been around Succubi before? Killed them? Is it just Leethu that’s revolting to you, or are others?”
“She’s the first Succubus I’ve met. They have very little power, so other angels take them out on their own without turning to me for assistance. Other angels have told me they are very seductive, but . . .” he paused, frowning. “I guess I imagined something different.”
Huh. To each his own. I walked back over to the table with the depressing stacks of paper.
“We should get to these. Before I chicken out and run away, that is.”
We spent the day going over agenda items. I don’t remember a thing. I was especially distracted when a noise began upstairs. It sounded like a weed whacker. Leethu had found the toys. Great.
Gregory looked at the ceiling, then at me.
“You don’t want to know,” I told him.
“Is this similar to that vibrating bed in the hotel?” he asked.
“Same idea. Only a little more up close and personal.”
“Does this one actually have the desired effect?”
“Yep. Sure does. Are we done with these papers? What else do we need to go over?” I would have loved to demonstrate, but I was pretty sure the angel wouldn’t be turned on by watching me masturbate. Still, it was difficult not getting worked up with Leethu’s delighted noises joining the deafening buzzing sound.
“You’ll quickly learn who leans which way on all the issues. I don’t want to influence you, so you’ll need to make your own judgments.”
“Can you at least tell me who is on this Ruling Council? You said seven, including me. Let me know their names and levels so I’m not walking in there blind.”
“No. It’s important you make independent decisions.”
“They all probably know who I am. It’s only fair.”
“No.”
“It’s not like I’m going to summon them or anything. You don’t need to give me their sigils or all of their names. Just their common names and main responsibility.”
“No.”
“Fuck you.” I threw a stack of papers on the floor. He didn’t seem to care. “How am I supposed to prepare if I don’t know who I’m on this stupid council with?”
“Research it. Ask other demons, elves, werewolves. Make that worthless human of yours do some digging. Stop being childish and start acting like the Iblis.”
I glared at him. I felt a serious tantrum coming on.
“There’s a human at your door,” he said.
My mind went blank. Was that a riddle? And then my doorbell rang.
Gregory looked thoughtful. “The human has magic.”
Well I guess it wasn’t the pizza delivery guy then. I went to the door, lamenting the days when no one came to visit, when even the cable installation dude was afraid to come down my lane. There was a neatly dressed man at my door with short brown hair and intelligent blue eyes. He looked vaguely familiar. Maybe he was the pizza delivery guy. Except I didn’t see any pizza.
“Iblis, I hope I am not inconveniencing you in any way.”
The man walked in the door, obviously confident that his visit was, in fact, convenient, and halted as he saw Gregory. Interesting. A human who recognized me as a demon, as the Iblis, and clearly recognized Gregory as non–human. He didn’t have that adoring, worshipful look that everyone else got when they saw the angel. He looked wary.
“Uh, I can come back. I see this is a bad time.”
“Nope, it’s a perfect time. We were just wrapping up here.” I looked pointedly at Gregory who smiled, folding his arms in front of him. Great.
“Uh, I just wanted to remind you of our request we made this past fall, when you were in Atlantic City,” the human prodded, shooting uncomfortable glances at the angel.
Now I recognized him. One of the elf high lords sent him. I couldn’t remember his name; either the high lord or the human. Actually I didn’t think the human ever told me his name, but I remembered the high lord was from the area where I’d spent my childhood.
“Yes. I’m glad you came because your request did slip my mind,” I admitted. “I’ve been really busy, and I’m not sure I’ll have time to attend to his lordliness anytime in the near future.”
The human shot another wary look at Gregory. “His Lordship recognizes the many demands on your time, and offers to help alleviate the situation by taking care of a particularly vexing problem for you. He will gladly ensure that your schedule is free and that you have all the resources you need to assist him. He begs this as a boon from you, the Iblis, and he will be most grateful for your assistance.”
Wow. That had to have been the most flowery speech I had ever heard. I was pretty sure he was offering to help me with my Haagenti problem, but I wasn’t sure what he planned to do to free up the rest of my schedule. Be my proxy at the Ruling Council meeting, perhaps? That would totally rock. Besides, he was kissing my ass, and I’ll admit it was working. Elves and their human servants never kissed my ass. They never kissed any demon ass. If this guy was going to start begging boons from me and being most grateful, I was in.
“Okay. I can probably pop over sometime this week, but I’ll need to be vague about the date and time due to my vexing problem. Can your lord be flexible?”
He glanced again at Gregory. “Yes, definitely. Will you do me the honor of walking me to my car, Iblis?” he asked.
I expected him to extend a bent arm so I could delicately take his elbow and stroll from the room. He didn’t go that far though. I followed him out my front door and down the driveway where, as I expected, there was no car.
“Didn’t come in through the gate?” I asked. Servants did sometimes use the big gates, but they also used the wild gates. An elf would activate it to let them out, then they just walked right on in through the trap to come back. The closest gate I knew of was on the C&O Canal towpath, which was not exactly walking distance, so I wasn’t surprised when he held up a palm–sized disk. An elf button; a portable gate. They were expensive and difficult to make. This high lord really wanted my assistance if he went to all this trouble to give me a reminder.
“Lord Taullian requests your presence as soon as possible. He has a proposal that is in line with your particular skills, and in return he offers to take care of the demon that has a price on your head.”
I felt as if a load were lifted from my back. Things with Haagenti had escalated, he’d begun targeting Wyatt. This human was proposing the perfect out. No doubt the elf lord wanted me to track someone down and kill them. I’d take on the job and never have to face Haagenti. This just moved to the top of my list.
“I’m interested. I’ll pop over as soon as I have a free moment.”
“Lord Taullian of Cyelle will anticipate your arrival sometime this week,” he said. “In the Western Red Forest by the Maugan Swamp.”
Smart servant. As happy as I was to be reminded of the guy’s name, I’d probably forget it within the hour. Elf names were really weird, and they all sounded the same. I swear they picked baby names by grab
bing a handful of Scrabble tiles and putting them in a random order.
“I’ll be there,” I assured him. He activated the gate and vanished.
Haagenti finally off my back. That would be glorious. Plus, I was really curious what this guy had in mind. Screw the boring Iblis stuff, this elf had a far more interesting activity for me.
“Playing with elves?” Gregory asked as I came back in.
I grinned. “Every chance I get.”
“This high lord is very foolish.”
“They never contact us unless they’re desperate. They know the risks, and they’ve carefully weighed out their options. I’ve done stuff for other elves, but not this particular guy. I’ve never met him. He probably wants something dead and doesn’t care about the mess, or collateral damage”
“As I said—very foolish.”
I nodded. I didn’t care. It would get Haagenti off my back, and it would be more interesting than these horrible stacks of papers on my table.
“Are we done here,” I asked, indicating the paperwork. “It’s getting late and I’ve got other things to do.”
Gregory looked disappointed. “I guess we can call it a night. We’ve covered the major issues. I’ll leave the rest for you to peruse at your leisure. I trust that you’ll review it all before the meeting?”
Now who was foolish? “Oh, of course. I’ll have it all read by the end of the evening,” I lied.
He sighed and stacked the papers neatly, putting them on my kitchen counter. “Then unless some pressing matter arises, I’ll meet you here to bring you to the council meeting.”
He vanished and I stood in my dining room, with a noisy houseguest, paperwork I had no intention of reading, and a head at my back door. Crap. The head. I walked over and looked at it. It looked back at me, the eyes glazed with decomposition, the skin grey and papery. Guess I better get rid of it before it leaked even more on my floor.
I glanced up and saw Boomer standing outside the huge French doors leading to my pool. At the moment he looked like a regular dog, a tall brindle Plot hound with floppy ears and golden green eyes. At will he could switch to his hellhound form, which was significantly larger with two massive heads. Boomer stared at the head through the glass with that peculiar fixation a dog gets when he really, really wants something. I picked up the head to toss it out to him and was amused to see his eyes track the movement.
Elven Blood (Imp Book 3) Page 3