by JJ Ellis
“Well, it’s a respiratory virus. In older kids and adults it presents itself much as a bad cold would. But for babies Charles’s age, it can be a bit more severe.”
“What can you do about it?” Logan asked.
“We treat him with medications and oxygen, then with any luck, he’s out of the woods in a few days.”
“Out of the woods?” Jayna asked quietly. “Is he going to die?”
“We’re doing everything we can for him Ms. McIntyre. He’s stable now and we just have to take it one moment at a time.”
Jayna’s head dropped to her arms and Logan heard her sobs.
“I’ll leave you two alone. The nurse will come in soon to go over Charles’s actual treatments. I’ll be back later to check on him.”
When the doctor left, Logan walked over to Jayna and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her.
“He’s strong Jayna. He’ll pull through.”
“If he doesn’t it will all be my fault. God I always knew I’d be a bad mother.”
“Whoa. What are you talking about? You’re a great mother.”
“It’s my fault he caught this virus,” she murmured.
“How do you know that?” Logan asked, trying to hide his exasperation.
“When we were out by the loading dock the other day, I took him down to street level for just a moment of fresh air. A little girl who was on a walk with her mother asked to see him and I said yes,” she cried. “She sneezed near him. I should have said no. I knew better.”
Logan hugged her tighter. “You can’t hide him away, Jayna. He’s going to get sick because of other kids his whole childhood. It’s never going to be your fault.”
The steady beep of the machines suddenly became a shrill, screeching alarm. Doctors and nurses rushed in and Logan and Jayna were pushed to the side as they worked on CJ, watching in horror as his tiny little body started to turn blue then gradually turned pink again.
Medical personnel left the room and the attending nurse motioned them over. "He’s okay now. His lungs just got a little confused and we helped everything to work properly again. Little ones like this, their bodies get confused sometimes.”
“Hey buddy, no more scaring us huh?” Logan said as he touched the little motionless hand. When it wrapped around his finger he smiled. “We’re in agreement then, right?”
“Logan, I don’t feel so good,” Jayna said, blinking her eyes, trying to bring the world back into focus. “I need to sit down.”
Logan helped her into the chair and gently moved the hair out of her face. “You don’t look so good. You need to eat and drink.”
“I’m not hungry,” she murmured.
“Either you eat or you’re going to be in a hospital bed in another part of the building,” he warned. “I’m going to run down to the cafeteria and get you something.”
“Okay,” she finally agreed as she rubbed CJ’s arm.
“Do you know if you can put me on a list to be able to come and go as I please?”
“It’s not necessary,” she said looking up at him. “They think you’re his father…and the birth certificate, when it comes in, will back that up.”
Logan paused with his hand on the door. “You put my name on his birth certificate?” he asked a bit too harshly. “And told them we were married.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I was scared. I was terrified that Reggie could find him with McIntyre or Sanders as his birth name.”
“So you gave him my name?” Logan asked stunned.
“I said I was sorry,” she ground out.
“I’ll be back with your food. Don’t move.”
Jayna nodded as he turned and walked out the door. She’d probably just ruined everything. It would be a miracle if he even came back from the cafeteria. But she couldn’t dwell on that right now. Her son needed her to be one hundred percent focused on him.
Chapter 10
A bad feeling came over Logan as he decided what to get for Jayna. Was she a con artist? That was the only way he could fathom that she had gotten his name on the birth certificate. Wyoming had rules and he didn’t meet any of the criteria.
He paid the clerk in cash and went back to the pediatric ward. When he walked into the room, Jayna was curled up in the chair asleep. She was using her arm as a pillow. “Jayna, wake up,” he said, shaking her shoulder.
“What? Oh hi Logan.” She straightened in the chair and took the food and drink he held out to her. “Thank you.”
“We need to talk,” he said, walking around to the other side of CJ to the vacant chair. “Wyoming has specific rules and protocol, how did you manage to pull it off?” His eyes were serious and bored into her.
“The hospital had all of your information,” she said quietly. “Between the financial responsibility paper you filled out and the paperwork for paying my bill.”
“Yeah, but how did you get the information?” he asked.
Jayna turned away from him. “I got lucky I guess. The admissions clerk wasn’t there that day, and when the nurse came in, she handed me all of the paperwork instead of sorting it out. Then she got called away on an emergency.”
“So you figured you would stick me with responsibility for your child?”
“No Logan! No! I wanted him to be safe and when I was looking through the paperwork, the idea hit me. You should know by now that I would do anything for CJ. I saw the opportunity and I took it. I’ll have your name taken off as soon as possible.”
Logan sat staring at the floor. A million thoughts ran through his mind. He should be angry at her. He should send her back to Alaska or to Jackson and Deb. He should, but he couldn’t. He probably would have done the same thing in an effort to save someone he cared about. It didn’t matter that there were very few people he actually did care about. Finally, his traitor of a brain reminded him that he’d thought about offering her the use of his name for CJ but had set it aside when he found out that Reggie was back in Alaska. “Leave it on until he’s safe.”
“Are you sure?” she asked looking from her son to him.
“Yeah, he said. “I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him or you.”
Jayna nodded and started eating again. “Thank you.”
Logan didn’t know quite what to say now. He wasn’t ready to let her know that he was quickly forgiving her for everything and that when her six week post-partum period was over, he wanted to make…have sex with her for a week straight to get his fill.
He thought her admission would change everything but it hadn’t. All it had done was technically make him CJ’s father. For some unknown reason he loved that idea. “Hey Jayna, I’m going to go upstairs and visit Dylan. Will you be okay here?”
She didn’t look away from her son. “We’ll be fine.” How long would it take him to forgive her? Would he ever forgive her?
**********
Logan knocked quietly on his brother’s hospital room door.
“Come in,” came a faint reply.
Logan quickly stepped into his brother’s room, taking a deep breath to steady himself, just in case…no, he wouldn’t think that way. Looking over, he met his younger brother’s gaze. “How are you doing?” he asked with a smile.
“Oh, I’m doing just fantastic, you know. I’m getting waited on hand and foot, and beautiful women even bathe me,” he replied, muting the cartoon he’d been watching.
“Cut the crap Dylan, you would only like the second half of that statement and you know it.” Logan laughed as he sat in a vacant chair near the bed. “Plus, are all of your nurses beautiful?”
“All women are beautiful, my dear brother. If you would ever figure that out you could get laid more often.”
“Damn Dylan, there is more to life than getting fucked,” Logan replied with a shake of his head. “When will you learn that?”
Dylan burst out laughing. “Oh geez Logan. I learned that years ago. Not a lot of pussy when you're spending all of your time
with a Marine Rifle Platoon.”
“So you say,” Logan returned. “Do you remember anything about what happened the other night?”
“Bits and pieces. It’s still kind of foggy, but the doctor thinks I’ll remember more as time goes on.”
Logan breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m surprised you haven’t asked me why I’m here.”
“I figured you wanted to look at the good looking Harper boy,” Dylan replied with a grin. “Because if I had to look in the mirror at you all the time…”
“Fuck you, Dylan. You’re such an ass.”
“Well, you do have pretty eyes but I’ll pass on the offer,” Dylan deadpanned, his expression remaining neutral. “Why are you here anyway? I didn’t think you would ever willingly leave your precious store.”
Logan gritted his teeth to keep from giving his brother a piece of his mind, loudly, right then and there in the hospital. “I’m here with a friend and her sick child.”
“Bullshit! Mom sent you didn’t she?"
“No, she didn’t,” Logan answered harshly. “I came with a friend whose newborn son is sick.”
“How sick is the baby?” Dylan’s tone softened with the question. “It can’t be good if they had to fly them up here.”
“Actually,” Logan said. “We were already in town when he got sick.”
“Wait, let me get this straight. My brother – Mister no family of my own – was in Billings with a ‘friend’ who has a newborn?” Confusion colored the young man’s face. “Did you knock some girl up?”
“No, you shit. I’ve never done anything with her,” Logan protested. “Well, nothing like that.”
“Oh? Do tell,” Dylan encouraged, his eyebrows raised in question. “So you haven’t fucked her, then what exactly did you do with her?"
“It isn’t any of your business. Except that it happened in your precious hunting cabin.”
Dylan was visibly shocked. “You haven’t been there since old Benny blew his brains out, so you did something with this girl when you were twelve?” Dylan growled. “Jesus, I thought I was bad.”
“We were there just a couple of days ago,” Logan snapped back. “We were there for over a week.”
“What?” Dylan asked. Surprise was clearly etched on his face. “You went to the cabin?”
“Yeah. It’s a long story and I’ll tell you some other time,” Logan replied in a much calmer tone. “I’m a little upset and confused right now.”
“Must have been one hell of a blow job,” Dylan said with a leer. “If you don’t want her…”
“Don’t make me kick your ass, Dylan. Because I will…”
“Try it, and get the shit knocked out of you,” Dylan growled. “Maybe it’s time for you to leave before this gets ugly. I can read between the lines.”
Standing up, Logan headed toward the door. Stopping, he turned to face his little brother. “What lines can you read between?”
“Get out!” Dylan snarled with a shooing motion.
As Logan stepped out of the room and the door slowly closed behind him, he heard his brother murmur… “You’re in love.” He left Dylan, walking quickly, and headed back to Jayna and CJ. When he walked into the room, she was curled up on the folded out chair-bed that they had supplied for her. She was covered by a hospital-issued blanket. He walked over to check on CJ and his heart stuttered seeing how pale his little man looked. The machines beeped and the tubes continued to provide him with everything he needed to recover. “Your mama loves you, baby boy. Hell, so do I. You need to get better. I think she’s been through enough, don’t you?”
“Logan?” Jayna said sleepily from the chair.
“I’m just talking to my little buddy,” he said, smiling. “Scoot up and I’ll rest with you.”
Jayna moved up and Logan climbed in behind her then she laid back against his chest. “I really am sorry, Logan.”
“Shh. I know that. Just go back to sleep. You need to rest to be strong for CJ.”
They both fell asleep only to wake up two hours later to the sound of alarms going off. Logan levered Jayna out of the chair and followed her over to CJ. They once again saw him turn blue only to have a team of doctors and nurses rush back in and help him turn pink again. A decision was made on the spot to move him to the pediatric intensive care unit. His little lungs were having a hard time working properly.
All animosity between Logan and Jayna was forgotten while CJ was rushed into intensive care. Once he was settled in, they were allowed to see him.
“My God, you can barely see the baby though the wires and tubes,” Logan said softly.
“If he dies, I’ll never forgive myself,” Jayna murmured. “This is all my fault. Instead of running with him I should have given him up. He’s too young to be living like this.”
Logan abruptly turned her to face him. “Damn it Sleeping Beauty, this is not your fault. He is safe with us whether we are in Harper’s Rock or on the run across the country. It’s a damn virus, Jayna. That’s all."
Tears were falling down her face and Logan wrapped her in his arms. “Please stop blaming yourself,” he whispered. “Let’s concentrate on getting him better.”
**********
Over the next five days, they settled into a worry-filled routine. For the first three days, while CJ was in the PICU, they took turns staying with him. When they weren’t at the hospital they were at the hotel sleeping in shifts. They had a couple more close calls, but he finally started to improve and he was moved back into a regular room. Most of the tubes and wires were removed and Jayna was allowed to breast feed again. The pump and feeding tubes were history.
The doctor walked into the room with a smile on his face. “If things keep going well overnight, I will release Charles in the morning.”
“Really?” Jayna squealed, looking over at Logan.
“Yes ma’am,” the doctor said. “He’s healthy again and you will be able to go about your normal lives for the most part. I would just keep him away from smoke and other environmental pollutants for a while."
“Oh, thank you doctor,” she said, with tears in her eyes.
Logan wrapped his arms around her and shook the doctor’s hand. “Thank you. We’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you did to help our son.” It didn’t even sound weird calling him his son. According to the hospital that is exactly what CJ was to him. It would be strange going back to the real world where he would just be honorary Uncle Logan.
Six days after they arrived at the hospital, with a very sick baby, CJ was released. They headed back to the hotel with a weeks’ worth of medication and a happy, cooing baby.
“Thank you for helping us through this, Logan,” Jayna said as they settled back into their gaudy honeymoon suite. “You could have taken off anytime."
“No I couldn’t,” he said, matter-of-factly as he laid down on the bed and turned the television on.
Jayna waited for further explanation but after a few minutes, she gave up. She should know by now that Logan didn’t need reasons. He tried not to get involved with people but if he did, it was to help them unselfishly.
At that next commercial, he turned the volume down and looked over at Jayna who was now sitting next to him on the bed. “We need to talk.”
“Okay,” she agreed quietly. “Let me put CJ in the crib.”
Logan nodded and pulled out his phone while he waited.
“Are we talking about the birth certificate,” she asked.
“What? Oh, no.” He motioned for her to sit down next to him. “I didn’t bring it up while CJ was sick, but… the goons are still calling about every other day.”
“Oh God,” she sighed. “What are they saying now?”
“The usual,” he muttered. “Threats to you and the baby, claiming they are getting closer.”
Jayna got up and paced. “While CJ was safe in the hospital, I should have gone to the cops. That’s the only way this will end.”
“That may get him out of your hair for
a while, but I have a feeling he’ll just keep coming back. We need to come up with a more permanent solution.”
“Other than me changing my identity, there isn’t one,” she said softly as tears welled in her eyes. “If charges in Nevada can stick long enough for me to get far away and start a new identity, then that’s what I’m going to do.”
Logan felt like his chest was being ripped out. Jayna and CJ gone, never to be seen again? It seemed like the only choice though. He didn’t have to like it, but there was nothing he could do about it. “I think I’m going to take a shower,” he said, getting up and grabbing a pair of sweats. He went into the bathroom and shut the door, leaning back against it. This crushing pain in his chest was different than anything he’d ever felt and he didn’t know how to stop it. At first he’d thought it was dread but soon he realized it was something different, something much worse.
He turned the shower as hot as he could get it then stripped down and stepped under the spray. Soon enough, the burn on his body replaced the pain in his chest and he turned the shower down in heat and volume.
His eyes were closed as he shampooed his hair and as he was rinsing, he heard the door click. When he looked out into the room, Jayna was there setting something on the counter. She stripped her shirt off and then her pants and panties. His desire escalated with every passing moment. He hadn’t seen all of her since the day she’d almost passed out in the shower and that had hardly been a desire inducing situation.
His breath caught as she freed her breasts from her bra. She was so incredibly beautiful. Her hips, stomach, and thighs were rounded and soft. The fact that she had recently given birth was noticeable but somehow part of her beauty. And her breasts, oh damn, her breasts were so full and begged to be caressed and relished. “What are you doing?” he asked breathlessly.
“I want you Logan. Before I have to go, I need you to make me yours, if only for a brief moment."
“But…it’s only been two weeks. We can’t…” He stepped out of the shower.
“I’ve stopped bleeding, and no, we can’t, but there is something else you can do. When I left Reggie, it was something I vowed not to do with just anyone,” she whispered. She moved the baby monitor out of the way and picked up what was behind it…a condom and a tube of lubricant. “Have you ever…”