Mycroft answers cautiously, “Killing me softly…?”
Harry fusses yet with the Bopla dinnerware but answers, “Well I confess that for all these years as I hummed the lyrics I believed it to be a love song. But today I believe that I hear it anew, sadly anew.”
Sherlock understands innately, “Killing her softly with your words.”
He places the last hot cake on the serving platter and reaches for Harriet’s hand, in part to keep the obsession over the dinnerware and partly to ease any sense of guilt. He says in barely audible tones, “Who feels it knows it.”
Mycroft can’t abide the maudlin. “Bloody hell, haven’t you noticed that with every passing day, every new chapter, Anna grows bolder. It would be brash of me to suggest that we have saved her. But I will put it out there just the same.”
Sherlock picks up the platter and proceeds to the center hollow. He looks over his shoulder and out of the corner of his mouth he says, “The woman was born a fury.”
Sherlock places the hot cakes on the table in front of Dodd and Anna. The aroma of warm fruit compte announces the beginning of good eats. Smiles brighten the faces of the now five elders. Dodd claps and exclaims, “Flap jakes, I’m so hungry I…”
Mycroft interrupts, “Sorry old man, I already got cut off on that joke.”
As plates, cups, forks, knives, spoons and napkins are passed around. Dodd chitchats.
“I jump at any chance to come here. I so love this home and its keeper.”
Harriet stops fussing with table preparations long enough to reply, “You know you are always welcome, you as well, Anna.”
Anna can only laugh at so absurd a suggestion. Yet she rather likes the thought of being a part of the ‘here and there’ set. Anna changes the subject, “I know that there must be a great story about this place.”
Harriet hands Anna a plate of warm pancakes as she answers, “I came here on Dodd’s suggestion.”
Dodd interrupts, “Only because this is your family’s favorite retreat. You practically grew up here. And seeing how you were in need of some down time it seem the natural course. Here there would be no questions to answer about your comings, goings and past doings.”
Harriet bows her head towards Dodd to acknowledge his sage advice. There is something in Harriet’s voice, or maybe in her eyes, no in her body language that triggers Anna to ask herself, ‘were Harriet and Dodd involved?’ She extinguishes that thought quickly before it sets off a brush fire of questions. She prefers for the conversation to remain crepe like, light, airy and sweet.
Sherlock sees that Anna is thinking too hard. He breaks the silence that is hanging about too long.
“Don’t you just love what Harry has done with her Ice Palace!”
Spontaneous laughter erupts from Mycroft, Dodd and Harriet. Anna doesn’t get it. But Harriet’s retort explains the little inside joke,
“As part of my purging and re-emerging, I immersed myself in the study of Zen. I took up the practice of Yoga religiously. My aim … well… I needed to reinvent myself.
And then it came to me. I needed a living space to be one with the universe. I never could live in one of the newer utilitarian post war homes. And I put aside the timber and stone of my ancestors. After all it was the past that I wished to bury.
As part of my reincarnation, I set about designing. As the sections of the house materialized, I moved closer and closer to understanding my true inner being. When the builder declared the home complete I took him at his word. I didn’t think that I could improve on the theme. Laugh if you must. But if truth were told, this space, this place serves me well. When the Buddhist monk blessed the house and me, I knew that I was born again. I was a new woman.”
This is the first time Mycroft, Sherlock and Dodd have heard this revelation from Harry. Mycroft and Sherlock have the same thought. What brought this about? Dodd doesn’t need to ask. It was the churning up of Lady Banks’ ashes. He decides that the time has come for his confession. He begins in form, “Speaking of self discovery, what’s up with Lady Banks?” He points a hard stare in Anna’s direction.
Just then a down draft causes the fine hairs of Anna’s neck to bristle. She stifles a shiver. But at the same time, her ears burn red hot with Dodd’s words ‘self-discovery.’ She does a double take from Dodd to Harriet. She hopes to capture the meaning of Dodd’s strange reference in their faces. Both hold their gaze on her. In fact all eyes are on Anna in this moment. She wants to challenge Dodd and Harriet without delay. Has it come time to reveal the identity of Harriet’s Lady Banks? Anna feels that pit in her stomach again. She dare not dwell on the other possibility that Harriet knows Anna’s past better than she.
But Anna’s conspiratorial mind tells her to keep her flap shut. There is more to this story. Stalled Anna absent mindedly taps her left foot followed by the right foot. Something is not kosher. She looks down at her feet. She has Harriet’s slippers on the wrong feet. At that very moment she realizes that Dodd had been eerily silent throughout most of the Lady Banks discussions. She curses herself. ‘Damn I held back too long! The blasted man got the jump on me. I should be the one asking the hard questions. What is Dodd about? What does he know about me? What passed between us?’
She coughs as if something went down the wrong way. Words fail her. Dodd falters as well. Words seem so inadequate he thinks. Harriet assesses the impasse between the two. She slumps dramatically deep into her pillow. She knows that if Anna and Dodd allow this pregnant moment to pass Dodd’s mission will be lost forever. So Harry throws the ball into Dodd’s court. “Sherlock, Mycroft and have said our pieces. It’s up to you now Dodd. And to be sure, Anna has the sixty-four thousand dollar question for you. ”
Flustered Anna bites her lower lip. She doesn’t want the ball handed off to her. She tries to remember what question. Harriet sees that Anna wavers. She helps her to recall. “Your very last question on the trail…”
Anna replies, “Geez, I’d like to believe that it is the lack of oxygen up here that puts my brain to sleep. But I must face it. I am going gaga. I’m drawing a blank.”
That deadly silence condenses. Harry tries again to get Dodd and Anna on the same page. She reminds Anna. “You were curious as to …”
Before Harriet can complete her sentence Anna blurts out, “Oh yes, I was asking how you all got so intimate with the tale of Lady Banks and Harriet you said that the answer was before me.
Harriet looks on Anna with caringly and adds “And so it remains. The answer is before you.”
Suddenly Anna feels naked. Her eyes involuntarily dart from Harriet to Sherlock, to Mycroft and back on Dodd. She pauses there. She senses in Dodd’s countenance a hint of anxiety. His discomfort distresses her. She arches her back. Her fright and flight receptors twinge. She hears a voice echoing from the furthest recesses of her mind. ‘It’s Dodd after all. It’s always been Dodd.’
She is surprised that she is not surprised to know that Dodd is involved. He is just too damn knowledgeable not to be involved one way or another. She trembles knowing that the pieces of this puzzle are moving together faster than she can assimilate.
The charged silence ends when Harriet slaps her knees. She sees that Dodd struggles. She believes that less is more. She signals to Sherlock and Mycroft. And all three rise up. They collect dishes and make themselves scarce. That leaves only Anna and Dodd in the hollow.
Anna senses there unspoken intention. She looks over to Dodd. The expression in his eyes is stone cold seriousness. She rolls and wets her lips. She is waiting for Dodd to make the first move. Dodd feels a pocket of perspiration form in the center of his chest. He takes one more second to measure his resolve. Yes he must rectify what he believes to be his wrongs. He moves in closer to her. He places her hands in his. His heart shivers as the depth of cold in her hands passes through him.
Anna can’t help but notice that Dodd’s hands are smooth, soft and fine, the mark of the aristocracy. She grows restless feeling slightly restrained h
ere. She surprises herself when she goes on the offensive. She looks directly into Dodd’s Prussian blue eyes and says,
“So Dodd it’s down to you and me now. I have the sick feeling that more has been left unspoken than spoken. You’ve been strangely mum throughout the unfolding of this queer mystery? ”
She catches her ill-timed and inappropriate pun and says, “Oh forgive me, that didn’t come out right. What gives old man? You are starting to freak me out. I assure you that I don’t break so easily any more. I assume that now that you are going to reveal the real reason for this bizarre course of events. There is something more here than a fanciful idea for a book, isn’t there? In fact the book idea is but a rouse!
Bloody hell man, get on with it and don’t leave out the part about ‘why me’ and ‘why now.”
Dodd swallows hard. He squares his chin. His eyes slowly and sadly find Anna’s. He bites his tongue. He begins his confession with the taste of blood on his tongue.
He says, “If you are thinking that I was called up to play Lord Banks let me ease your worry from the start. I was never Lord Banks.”
Anna’s hands soften as she feels some relief in knowing that Dodd was not a Lord Banks.
Dodd moves on, “As part of my special service I slogged within the so-called ‘brain cells’, Her Majesty Information Agency. My special project involved working up a psychological profile, a radical behavioral psychological model that could be used to identify, recruit and control the women known as Lady Banks.”
He couldn’t be any more direct.
Anna struggles to remain in neutral. She is loathed to show any sign, either positive or negative in response to Dodd’s confession. But her conspiratorial mind set double clutches into overdrive while at the same time her heart and soul jam into reverse. Part of her wants to know ‘who are these guys?’ But a shrill siren sounds, ‘get out now!’
She tries to comprehend. But she can’t admit that the man she thought was her friend is not only a complete stranger but also her nemesis. Failing the courage to get up and slap the man in the face and make a grand and defiant exit she makes light of the situation.
“So Doddie, you’re the wizard behind the curtain! Who would have guessed? What kind of fool am I! I never once suspected.”
Dodd beseeches her, “Go on rant, rave, stamp your feet, raise your voice, and spew invectives at me. But then cara mia, prego, let me explain.”
Anna says nothing. So Dodd goes on, “Anna, hear me out. I’ve been holding these words in my soul far too long. I’ve rehearsed them and rehashed them. And in the meantime you were left out in the cold. Let me tell you the more.”
He takes in a deep breath and begins with, “Let me start at our beginning. Remember the other night in the country. We sat about the falling embers in the fire pit. We sipped the last bubbles of champagne. You reminisced about the first time I saw you at High Table. The truth is that I ran into you several years earlier. You were over here officially working on a post doc. But as always with you there was more.”
Anna turns that ‘whiter shade of pale’ again. She trembles internally. She dare not speak lest she reveal more than she desires. She wills her mind not to be taken in by vagaries. Nonetheless, the cruel sting of reality bites. ‘Was she ever who she thought she was?’ There is no way she can deal with this level of self-deception.
Dodd goes on “Remember that Russian bloke who was trying to chat you up?”
Anna fidgets. She does remember. It was a footnote in the recent spate of flashbacks. She can’t see the harm in those five minutes of chitchat. She feels secure enough to challenge Dodd.
“What are you saying? The old man made a pass. I took a giant side step, nothing more. Why do you bring it up? You were there? Are you saying the Russian was a...”
Anna can’t get the words out of her mouth.
Dodd answers her stuttering. “A spy…!”
Again Anna swallows hard. She remarks casually, “A spy, really? Why? What use could I have been to a Russian spy? But I digress here. You can fill me in on the whys later. Now you were going to tell me about our first encounter…”
Dodd smiles warmly, hoping to bring a similar response in Anna’s worried face. He explains, “Indeed, this incident was the first time our paths crossed. The Russian was recruiting for the KGB. He was my mark. When he made contact with you, I put your name into the system to check you out as a Lady Banks recruit. It was part of the drill.”
Anna can’t believe what she hears. She stays light hearted, “I knew that Russkie was trouble.’ She looks with the saddest puppy dog eyes and says, “But seriously Doddie, I still don’t understand how I got mixed up in this mess?”
Upon hearing Anna call him Doddie as she did way back when, Dodd feels the sting of guilt. He sighs knowing that there is little gained now by feeling remorse. He rallies. He must stay on course. If he knows the woman he named Doc B, she rather the facts than apology. He sets about the details.
“Your very deliberate spurn caused the Russian scout to return to Moscow that night. I followed. When I got back to London, I checked with my investigator.”
Suddenly and without warning Mycroft speaks causing Anna to jump. “As we are putting our cards on the table I should tell you Anna that Dodd asked me to put a trace on you.”
Anna laughs nervously. The Rooks are too close for comfort now. They have played her tightly. But Anna is damned if she is going to make their job any easier by filling in the blanks.
She challenges Mycroft, “So Mycroft what did you turn up about me? I was nobody’s Lady Banks.”
Mycroft flushes now, “Well if you will allow. I found a very interesting poker game being played for high stakes. The ante was raised with every new spook on the scene. By my count there were five players with you as the wild card. Am I right?”
Anna falls back hard into the settee. All her secrets, her every tryst, were only secrets to her. She struggles as the heartaches of all those sordid affairs try again to break the woman down. Memories collide into one another. Anna is forced to come face to face with the reality of her past. She has tarried too long amidst the disparate incoherent strands of happenings. She taps her left foot and then her right foot.
Anna changes lanes without signaling, “So Mycroft, your surprise upon meeting me in the Red Room at the hotel was more than you let on?”
Mycroft extends his two hands and turns each palm up. He says, “Really Anna, you could have struck me down with a feather when I saw you come through that door. It was such a long time ago, and but a brief encounter, I didn’t know you as Doc B. I knew you as …”
Dodd raises his hand to silence Mycroft. He takes over, “Shall I continue?”
Anna gulps but has to allow the man his story. She has traveled too far to not hear it all. She nods.
Dodd speaks, “Running into you at High Table a few years later, well … it was a bolt from the blue. But the real surprise was your partner.”
Anna jumps in. She is ever so curious to get this part right at last. “How so…?”
Dodd answers with a heavy heart, “I knew him. I knew that he was Special Relations.”
Anna says nothing clinging desperately to the false illusion that if she doesn’t commit herself she remains uninvolved. She repositions herself. She takes in a deep breath and says, “And?”
Dodd digresses. “Remember the other night, at dusk, we strolled over ancient Cotswold stones and reminisced about the fleeting moments we shared. We talked about our soirees in the city of steel. I was a nascent publisher. You were a fledgling new scholar. We … no sorry I played the game.
Many times over the years I wanted to open your eyes to those around you. Then there was the night of the freaky spring snowstorm when temperatures dropped precipitously. I knew at the time that you and that bloke were at odds. But I knew something you didn’t.”
Anna tries to stop this run away tale, she interrupts, “That he was a Lord Banks?”
Dodd cuts her off,
“For mercy’s sake, Anna, the man propositioned me. That is why I asked you to come away with me that night. But you stayed on. I wanted to tell you that night. Believe me. I saw how very flustered you were by my invitation. I was too abrupt. I was about a rescue but you were already in another’s web. Remember? I had to let it go. But I swore that I would get back to you.”
Tentatively, Anna nods yes. She is more worried about the tears that are beginning to blur her vision. She struggles to take in a breath in the thin air. She coughs. As she moves her hand to cover her mouth, she brushes her eyes dry. She says, “And? Is that ‘The End’, you walking out into the blizzard alone with your bag of lies?”
With a bit of sadness and a lot of regret in his voice and countenance he moves on.
“When I got back to London, I tried to call you. But the number was disconnected. I tried to reach you at the University. Your soon to be ex took the call. He told me that you and he were estranged. And you were now living with the odd jobs boy.
I should have followed up I know. But at the time I was relieved that you got out. We lost touch.”
Anna pipes in, “Until?” Please don’t tell me there is more.”
Dodd tries to smile knowing that the next chapter is even harder to tell. He follows with, “Until you vetted one of MI 6’s agents.”
Anna sits up straight as new energy enters her face easing the hard lines of age. She laughs, “You’re wrong. You must be getting gaga yourself Dodd.”
Angry and frightened she stutters, “I never knew any MI 6 spy of that I’m sure.”
Dodd frowns. Anna quickly recognizes his dismay. She tries to get back on his page. She asks, “I’m sorry Dodd but I never knew any such person.”
Dodd answers in a barely audible voice, “He was applying for the vacancy in your department. You were on the steering committee. Do you recall?”
The Christmas Pudding Lie Page 28