by Amy Lamont
“Is that not normal for Nate?” I asked, trying to feel my way carefully into this conversation.
“Well…”
Something about her tone made me sit up straight. “Why do I feel like you’re leaving out a detail or two?”
“Because we might have stayed up all night before he left for his trip doing unspeakable acts to each other and now he has tons of meetings and long flights and he may just be unconscious while he tries to catch up on sleep in the few moments he has free between all that stuff.”
Her words came out in a tumbled, breathless rush, but I got the gist of it. I rolled my eyes. “So you’re saying you shagged him silly before you sent him off and now he’s probably busy and sleep deprived?”
“Um, yes?” she responded sheepishly.
“You have my deepest sympathy.” My voice dripped sarcasm. “That sounds like you have a real problem.”
“Okay, so I might have been exaggerating a little when I made it sound like a real problem.” Emma paused for a few beats. “Honestly? I just hate when I can’t talk to him everyday.”
“You guys are pretty serious, huh?”
“One of us is,” Emma said, her voice tinged with sadness. “I just don’t know what he’s thinking.”
“Have you asked him?”
A sigh came over the line. “No. I don’t want to be that girl.”
I knew exactly what Emma meant. She didn’t want to be the girl who clung too hard or expected too much or asked for a relationship status update way too soon.
“You’ve been seeing him for over three months, though, Em. I don’t think it would be out of line to have a little bit of a discussion about your relationship. At least to ask whether he’s seeing other people.”
It occurred to me as I handed out my advice that I’d been seeing Jared for exactly the same amount of time. I met him the same night Emma met Nate.
Well, shit. I wasn't about to start a conversation with Jared about where our relationship was going or if he was seeing other people. A shudder rolled over me.
No way, no how. Even the word relationship made me want to break out in hives. I could only imagine trying to juggle my career in medicine with Jared's career, which let’s face it, was more like a constant party than an actual job.
“Hey, you still there?”
Emma's voice broke me from my thoughts. I shook my head in an attempt to clear them away.
“Sorry. My mind wandered there for a second.”
“Are you sure everything's okay?” Emma asked in her softest, sweetest voice. Emma was a born caregiver. I could only imagine her reaction if I told her about Deanna. She'd be devastated—for me, for the little girl who lost her fight, for Deanna's family. Emma's heart was big enough for the whole world.
I sucked in a deep breath. I wasn't ready to go there with Emma. I put up my mental shields and dug deep to pull out some happy.
“I'm fine. Well, tired and totally sick of food from the hospital cafeteria. But aside from that, fine.”
“Okay, good. Well, I was calling to see if you wanted to join Jade and Katelyn and I for dinner. For once, we all seem to have a free night at the same time.”
Ugh. I was so not ready to finish the inquisition. And even I had to roll my eyes at my own hypocrisy. Usually, I was the ringleader when it came to grilling my friends about what was going on in their lives. But I also wasn't going to pass up the chance to sneak into the apartment and get some clothes and stuff while they were all out.
“What time are you guys going?”
“About six thirty?”
“Darn, I think I'm going to have to skip this time. I probably won't get away from the hospital until late tonight.” How was I going to explain my constant absence from home when I had no classes? “Actually, I'll probably stop home to get some extra stuff. I'm going to pick up as many extra shifts at the hospital as possible while I'm off from school. I may even pass out there between shifts.”
I cringed at my own words. I hated sleeping in the on-call rooms at the hospital. First off, the doctors weren't too thrilled about sharing their space with a lowly orderly-slash- medical student. And the lack of privacy made my skin crawl. The idea of people wandering in and out of the room while I slept gave me the willies. And Emma, my best friend, the girl who shared a bedroom with me for a good chunk of our high school years and all of college, was well aware of my sleeping habits.
I held my breath while she stayed quiet on the other end of the line for several long seconds.
“Does this have something to do with the bet?” she finally asked, referring to the bet she'd challenged Jade, Katelyn, and I to in order to make us have the adventures of a lifetime.
“No!”
Crap. I said that too fast not to raise suspicions.
“Why don't I believe you?”
I winced. If I told them the truth, I probably had enough wild adventure going on to win the bet several times over. I was sleeping with a rock star, and I'd just made arrangements to play hooky from both work and school so I could travel with his band for a week.
But even the thought of winning the bet and lording it over my friends for years to come didn't appeal. Jared was just for me. And whatever was going on between us, the week we had planned was a break from reality.
If I shared it, even with Emma, it would make things too real. She'd ask questions and we'd hash things out and when it was over I'd have to face the reality of the situation and it would all go away in one big poof like Cinderella's carriage turning back into a pumpkin.
“I don't know why you don't believe me. I wish I had something more exciting to report than cleaning up puke and dumping bedpans.”
Silence came from the other end again.
“Besides,” I went on, rushing in to fill the void, “you know if I thought I had something that would win me the bet, I'd be singing it from the rooftops.”
“I guess.” Emma didn't sound convinced, but I'd take it. At some point I'd fill her in, but first I was going to take this entire week just for myself.
“I have to run, Em. I have to get to,” I flashed a glance over at the bedside clock, frantically trying to figure out where I should be right now, “um, get back to class. My break is just about over.”
“Okay, Paige. If you change your mind about dinner, let me know.”
“Will do.”
We said our good-byes and I hung up with a deep sigh.
I hated lying to my friends, but there's no way I could tell them I was taking a little time off from my life without having to explain every thought and feeling I had. And there's no way I wanted to dissect all that.
And if I were being completely honest with myself, it was because I wasn't ready to explore what my feelings about my career path meant for my future.
***
Monday morning dawned early. Way, way, way too early. How was it that I managed to haul my ass out of bed every single day of my life without so much as a whimper, even when I'd only been in that bed for a couple of hours, but after a weekend of decadence and total relaxation with Jared, getting out of bed at 5:30 felt like something dreamed up in the third ring of hell?
“Come on, sleepyhead.” Jared handed me a cup of coffee in a travel mug and pressed a kiss against my temple. “We'll be on the plane in an hour and you can take a nap.”
I leaned into him. “Mmm, nap.”
He laughed and tugged me toward the front door. I took one last peek over my shoulder before the door closed behind us.
“I'm going to miss that place.” I couldn't keep the wistfulness from my voice. All of our bags had already been packed and Jared's assistant had arranged to have them taken to the airport ahead of us. We'd made the most of the apartment up until the last possible second, but even after four days of making love in between watching movies and eating incredible food, I wasn't ready to leave it behind.
“We have a whole week of adventures to look forward
to, baby. And then we’ll be back here.”
Before I had a chance to wonder if I’d be back with him, Jared snatched me in his arms and kissed me long and hard right in the middle of the hallway.
I melted into him, my arms going around his neck. How was it we'd been mostly naked for four days straight and I still hadn't had enough of him?
My lips parted beneath his, allowing his tongue to plunge inside to tease and taste me. I moaned into his mouth and he pulled me up tighter against him. I could feel his erection against my belly and liquid heat poured through me. I swear I was ready to let him have me right there in the hallway.
With a groan he wrenched his mouth from mine.
“You're way too tempting,” he growled.
A warm flutter tickled my belly. Jared could have his pick of women—from barely legal jailbait in the skimpiest of clothes to supermodels and A-list actresses.
I was no slouch in the confidence department. From the time I was in my teens and managed to fill out my first bra, I'd never lacked for male attention. And I'd grown up in a family that taught me to take pride in myself. And I did.
But I'd be a big fat liar if I didn't admit that knowing of all the women Jared could choose from, I seemed to be the one holding his attention hostage these days, and it sent a little thrill through me.
I smiled and nipped his jaw. “I'm happy you think so. You're not too hard on the eyes,” I allowed my hands to slide down to his hard abs, “or the hands, either.”
He hugged me hard and whispered into my ear. “You know it's more than just how you look, right? I have more fun with you than I've ever had in my life, even if we're just hanging out in front of the television. I feel more comfortable with you than anyone I've ever known in my life, outside my band mates. And I like the way you look at me. Like you see the man, not the rock star.”
My arms slid around his waist and I squeezed him convulsively. My throat went dry and an alarming prickle of heat started behind my eyes. I tucked my face into his neck and held on tight, determined not to look at him until I got ahold of myself and could hide the impact his words had on me.
His hands moved to my shoulders and began to gently detangle me. But I wasn't ready yet.
“Just one more second,” I whispered.
He chuckled, but obliged me, rocking me just a little as he held me in his arms. I inhaled deeply, but filling my head with his addictive scent didn't seem to help. I held my breath, squeezed my eyes shut, and concentrated on the periodic table of elements.
It took me a few minutes, but I mostly managed to get a firm grip on my feelings. I pulled back from him. “Hey, what's the hold up? Don't we have a plane to catch? Geez, let's go already.”
He grinned down at me before tugging me toward the elevator. But there was something about the look in his eyes that told me he wasn't buying my act. He knew the impact his words had on me.
And he liked it.
I pulled in a deep, shuddering breath, squared my shoulders and decided to just go with it. Isn't that what the next week was all about? Indulging all my feelings and fantasies so I'd have something to take with me when I went back to the real world? If all I had was a week to store up enough adventure and emotion and passion to last me the rest of my career, I was going to milk every minute of it.
“Ready?” he asked as the elevator doors shut.
I squeezed his hand and offered him my most dazzling smile. “More than you can imagine.”
Chapter Eight
“I definitely chose the wrong career,” I teased Jared as we buckled into our comfy seats on the private plane charted just for the use of the members of Sliding Violet.
“Hmm, you have any musical talent?” He grinned at me as he snapped his seatbelt into place.
A small twinge pinched around my heart. “Actually, I used to write some music and sing with my school chorus.”
I left off the information about how I got solos all the time and had even sat in to sing with a local band a few times in college. As my older sisters loved to point out, music was a great way to pad college applications and resumes, but it wasn't something to be taken seriously.
I shot Jared a guilty look at that thought. Taking music seriously had gotten him far, but he was the exception. And it still seemed like his life was more party than work. I couldn't imagine feeling satisfied with that. I needed to make a bigger contribution to the world.
“Hey, who do we have here?”
A large, dark-haired male dropped into a seat across from Jared and I.
Jared gestured over to him. “Paige, this ugly dude is our drummer, Will. Will, this beautiful woman is taken.”
I waited a beat, but Jared didn't offer another word. When I looked over at him, he was slouched back in his seat, a smug smile on his face, staring at Will.
I rolled my eyes. Men. Next thing he'd be peeing a circle around me.
“Hi, Will. I'm Paige.” I gave him a little wave.
“Paige. I've heard good things about you.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
I turned my head to pin Jared with the evil eye. “So just exactly what kind of details have you been sharing about me?”
“Not the kind you're thinking.” Jared pointed at Will. “Don't make me hurt you.”
The guys got into a stare down, which was soon interrupted and forgotten when the other two band members got on board. Jared introduced me to James, the bassist, and Jack, the lead guitarist. And before I knew it we were in the air, being waited on hand and foot by two extremely attentive, and extremely blonde flight attendants.
“This is nice,” I said as I leaned back in the cushy seat, a mimosa in my hand and a platter of fruit and pastries in front of me. I let out a deep sigh and enjoyed the idea of being taken care of without having to worry about work or studying for the first time in forever.
“Stick with me.” Jared slung an arm around me and I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I'll make sure you never have to worry about a thing.”
I grinned at him. “Not sure I'd like that for the long haul, but for a week? Sounds perfect.”
He picked up the hand not holding a wine glass and pressed a kiss to my palm. “We're going to have a blast. I want you to have the time of your life.”
***
And I did. On Thursday night, I sat in a private room in a club in Los Angeles. I sipped a Manhattan with extra cherries and leaned my head on Jared’s shoulder.
“Tired?”
His quiet voice so close to my ear made me shiver. When would I stop reacting like this to this man? I nodded, not lifting my head, and enjoyed the cool feel of his black button down shirt against my cheek.
“We can go whenever you’re ready.” His hand smoothed slowly, up and down over my hip.
I tilted my chin so I could look up at him. “Not yet.”
I hadn’t lied. I was tired. But in a mellow, relaxed, having too good a time on my vacation kind of way. Not like the complete exhaustion I constantly felt when I ran between work and school and back again.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Jared said and planted a kiss on the corner of my mouth before turning back to a conversation with one his friends, a popular actor I’d met, and tried not to go completely fangirl over, earlier in the week.
The rumble of Jared’s voice vibrated through me. The room was comfortably warm and the music in the VIP lounge played a few decibels below the level of the driving beat playing around the main dance floor. I felt like I was in a cocoon, a comfortable bubble of happiness, as I thought of the days leading up to this moment.
Jared had arranged for me to have a massage in our hotel suite when we arrived, and after I was a boneless puddle, a stylist had shown up with a pile of clothes—my wardrobe for the week.
I practically drooled over the seemingly endless rack of gorgeous clothes, everything from jeans and t-shirts to cocktail dresses, but I’d protested actually accepting them.
Jared overru
led me with an eye roll and a plea that I let him pamper me for the week. How could I stand up to that kind of sweetness? Especially when it was done with his hands and his mouth strategically placed on my body.
Now that I thought of it, lots of times I’d protested his overgenerous offerings this week, he’d lulled me into saying yes by teasing my body until I all but shrieked my agreement in order to get my release.
The result was a week of him wining and dining me, whisking me to a private beach for dinner one night, attendance at several glamorous, and a few not-so-glamorous, Hollywood parties in between lots and lots of mind-blowing sex.
Hmm. If this is what it felt like to be fucked into submission, I was okay with that. I took another sip of my Manhattan to hide my giggle at the thought, but Jared must have felt my shoulders shaking.
“Something funny?” he asked.
I looked up at him. “I think I might be ready to leave soon.”
“What brought that on?” he asked.
I shrugged and offered him an innocent smile. “Just ready to get to bed.”
“I knew you were getting tired.” He studied my features with concern.
I bit my lip to hide more giggles. That was another thing that I’d been surprised with this week—finding out that my wild rock star was actually a super hardworking man who also bent over backwards to take care of me.
My amusement faded a bit. I’d misjudged Jared, believing his life was one long party. Not that there weren’t plenty of parties. But a lot of them were part of the show the band put on—promotional and networking opportunities. So even in his supposed free time, Jared was on and working hard to keep his band in the public eye.
He leaned forward a little, taking me with him because of his arm around me, and placed his beer on the low table in front of the couch. Then he shifted and turned his attention back on me. He ran a finger down my cheek. “Let’s get you home and into bed.”
I shivered under his touch. “I’m all for that plan.”
“Baby, you should have said something. I know how hard you work. You don’t need to run yourself ragged this week.”
“You’re assuming I want to go home because I’m tired.” I tilted my head to the side and batted my lashes at him. “I mean, I’m all for the getting me into bed part of your plan, but I may need some help getting to sleep.”