by Will Dunne
To complete the exercise, write a one-sentence synopsis of the scene as you see it now. You can repeat or combine any part of the first seven summaries or write a brand new synopsis. Focus on what matters most. Be sure to keep the synopsis short so that it can serve as an at-a-glance guide while you write the scene-for example, "Nancy forces Ralph to experience unbearable remorse for his crimes and then forgives him for the murder of her daughter."
WRAP-UP
The goal of this exercise has been to get a clear, big-picture view of the scene you will write next and to explore possibilities for how it might unfold and where it might lead. Nothing is set in stone, and you may wish to change this synopsis as you go along, but for now you have a working context for the scene: a guide to steer you through the blank page ahead.
THE QUICK VERSION
Develop a simple visual storyboard of a scene
BEST TIME FOR THIS
During scene planning, writing, or revision
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS-OR MORE
We receive most of our information about the world through our eyes. Whether the images around us seem positive or negative, familiar or new, they tell us a lot, affect us deeply, and leave lasting impressions. Visual imagery is a key tool of the dramatic writer because it taps into the power of sight and offers an economical and emotionally charged way to show, not tell, a story. What we often leave the theater with are not the brilliant lines of dialogue we heard, but the images we saw, such as:
• A magnificent angel dangling in the air over a bedridden young man in Angels in America, Part One: Millennium Approaches
• A woman raising her fist in a defiant pose of survival with the smoking ruins of her home behind her in Gone with the Wind
• A retired chauffeur spoon-feeding his aged ex-employer in Driving Miss Daisy
• A young boy paralyzed in fear as he watches his brother drowning in a backyard washtub in Ray
• A woman holding her mother's hand to a steaming hot stovetop in The Beauty Queen of Leenane
• A man waking up in a forest and discovering that donkey ears have sprouted from his head in A Midsummer Night's Dream
• A woman sobbing over the dead body of her son while picking up stolen money strewn about the room in The Grifters
Images like these speak a thousand words about the characters we see and the dramatic situations in which they find themselves. What memorable images have you created in your story? How can you make your script more visual?
ABOUT THE EXERCISE
Use this discovery exercise to find new visual material for a scene that you have written or mostly written. For best results, look for something new in each exercise response and avoid rehashing what you already know. Keep exploring the scene from different angles so that, in the end, you will have a variety of images from which to choose.
Exercise examples are from scene 4 of Angels in America, Part One: Millennium Approaches by Tony Kushner. Character i is Prior, a young man who "occasionally works as a club designer or caterer, otherwise lives very modestly but with great style off a modest trust fund." Character 2 is Louis, also known as Lou, "a word processor for the Second Circuit Court of Appeals." Their relationship: lovers of four years. What happens in the scene: Prior reveals that he has KS, or Kaposi's sarcoma, an AIDS-related disease that, in the mid-rg8os, was usually fatal.
TRANSLATING YOUR SCENE INTO A SIMPLE VISUAL STORYBOARD
I. Divide the scene into three parts. Break the scene down into a beginning, middle, and end. These parts do not have to be of equal length or importance, but each is different from the other two: the end is different from the beginning because of what happens in the middle. Think of each part as a scene within the scene and briefly describe what's happening in it. For example:
• Beginning: Two lovers, Louis and Prior, gossip about Louis's familythey have just left the funeral of his grandmother-and end up in a spat.
• Middle: Prior reveals that he has KS.
• End: Louis rushes off to rejoin his family for his grandmother's burial and leaves the frightened Prior behind.
2. Name each part. As a focusing exercise, give each part of the scene a title that highlights what's going on. For example:
• Beginning: "T,vo Guys at a Funeral"
• Middle: "I'm Going to Die"
• End: "Am I Going to Die Alone?"
3. Find an image for each part. Imagine each of your three titles as the caption for an image that depicts a key moment of action in your scene. Describe each image briefly. For example:
• Title: "Twvo Guys at a Funeral." Image: Louis and Prior sit on a bench outside a funeral home both dressed in funereal finery, talking.
• Title: "I'm Going to Die." Image: Prior with his jacket off and a rolled-up sleeve shows Louis a dark purple spot on the underside of his arm near the shoulder.
• Title: "Am I Going to Die Alone?" Image: Louis races off in a panic while Prior, looking terrified, sits alone on the bench with his hand over the mark on his arm.
4. Evaluate the storyboard so far. Think about the three images in sequence and the story that they show. For example, the visual story of Louis and Prior depicts two guys who start out together and end up apart because of something that one reveals. Without dialogue, we may not know that the two men are lovers, that the purple mark on one's arm is the symptom of a fatal disease, or that one is left with the fear of dying alone. Nevertheless, we can "see" that this is a scene where a physical revelation changes the dynamics of a relationship from positive to negative. In your scene, consider the following:
• What story do your three images show without dialogue? Try to look at your sequence with fresh eyes and see what is really being depicted. If the sequence consists of "talking heads," for example, it shows only that people are engaged in conversation. The visuals are not serving the story.
• In some scenes, characters end up exactly where they started, and that is itself the point: they're stuck. In most scenes, however, something important changes. Compare your third image to your first image. As you do this, compare where the characters are, how they appear, and what they are doing. Is the third image clearly different from the first? If not, how can you create a greater visual contrast between them?
• Ideally, the second image shows what causes the change that takes place in the scene and links the other two images. Suppose Prior had simply told Louis about his diagnosis. The dialogue would have moved the story forward, but the picture of this critical moment would have consisted only of two people talking. By not only telling Louis about the disease but also showing it to him, the scene presents instead the powerful image of Prior unveiling the lesion on his arm. Look again at what's happening in the second image of your sequence. Does it present a dramatic picture of what changes the dynamics of the scene? If not, how can you create a more telling middle image that links the first and third images?
5. Find three new images. Look again at the three captions you wrote for your scenes within the scene. As an exercise, take a creative leap and imagine that each caption describes a totally different image of the same characters engaged in the same scenic event. For example, another image for "Tivo Guys at a Funeral" might be Prior hugging Louis tenderly, and Louis looking back to see if anyone from the family can see this display of affection. Briefly describe a brand-new image for each of your three captions. TYy to surprise yourself, but stay true to your characters and story.
6. Evaluate the new images. Think about the three new images and the story they show. How does it differ from the story shown by the first set of images? For example:
• Do the new images create a different focus in the dramatic action, change the meaning of what's happening, or reveal new character information?
• Do the new images suggest any new ideas for how the scene unfolds?
• Do you see the opportunity to strengthen any image so that it is more dramatic or shows the story more clearly? If so, take a mom
ent to revise your work now.
7. Pick the best image for each part. You have now created six possible images for your scene: two for the beginning, two for the middle, and two for the end. Pick the best image in each pair so that you end up with three images again in sequence.
8. Reevaluate the captions. Look again at the captions you have written. If you have found a new emphasis for the dramatic action or learned something new about your characters or story, you may want to revise the captions to reflect these discoveries. If so, revise the captions now so that they work better with the current sequence of visuals. You now have a simple storyboard of your scene.
9. Find an unexpected detail in each image. Each of these three images offers many details-some of which you've already discovered and some of which you haven't. If you were to zoom in on the image of Prior showing Louis the sore on his arm, you might suddenly notice that the purple lesion has the shape of a mouth print. For each of your three images, zoom in and find an interesting visual detail that you did not see until now. Briefly describe it. Try to surprise yourself, but stay true to your characters and story.
io. Title the visual details. The close-up of the deadly purple lesion on Prior's arm suggests a caption: "The Wine-Dark Kiss of the Angel of Death." These words actually end up in the dialogue of the scene. It's one of the ways that Prior communicates the seriousness of his condition. Look again at your three new visual details and give each a caption that highlights what's most interesting or dramatic about it.
ii. Identify the most important moment. As you've explored your scene visually at different levels of detail, you've been thinking about your characters and what they do. In the Louis and Prior scene, the moment when Prior reveals his KS is tragic and memorable. Even more important to the story, however, is the moment afterward when Prior confesses his reason for not revealing the deadly diagnosis sooner: he was afraid that Louis would leave him. What is the single most important moment in your scene?
12. Convert the most important moment into an image. When Prior finally lets down his guard and confesses his fear, he is a man standing helplessly outside a funeral parlor with his suit jacket off, shirt sleeve undone, and arm stained with a kiss of death. The lover to whom he has turned for comfort is now walking away so that the space between them is widening. The lover looks as angry as Prior looks scared. Find a visual image that embodies the single most important moment in your scene and describe it in detail. This picture will most likely be near the end of the scene. If it overlaps with the ending image you already have, try to find something new about it.
WRAP-UP
The pictures you create in your story can go a long way toward revealing character and moving the dramatic journey forward. Use the best of the imagery you found to strengthen the visual power of your scene. As you continue working on your script, keep looking for opportunities to show, not tell, your story, especially at those times when your characters find themselves in extreme situations. These are the bold strokes of the story and will have the most impact on us in the audience if we can literally "see" them happen.
THE QUICK VERSION
Reveal background information without stopping the story
BEST TIME FOR THIS
During scene revision
UNLEASHING THE POWER OF EXPOSITION
While drama shows us the "here and now" of the characters, exposition tells us about the "there and then." It explains anything we cannot observe directly, such as what happened before the story began, what happened between this scene and the last one, or what's happening elsewhere now in the world of the story. Exposition also encompasses the inner lives of the characters: their deepest thoughts, memories, and feelings. In short, it's anything that has to be explained to the audience.
Exposition is essential to any story-the past shapes who the characters are and what they want now-but it can be a challenge to explain things without stripping away the emotional life of the story and bringing it to a halt. The goal is to weave facts from the past into the story so seamlessly that we receive this background information without realizing it. Here are a few tips for managing exposition:
Start with action in progress, not explanation. Get the lines of action into motion and establish the opening problem, even if it's a small one. Don't begin the scene with a bunch of exposition that feels like a setup.
Raise questions first. Use the "here and now" of the characters to stir up curiosity about the "there and then." If we are wondering about a character's past, for example, we'll be happy when something about it is finally explained. Make the exposition a payoff instead of an intrusion.
Stay in the present. Exposition tends to works best when it is not the main topic at hand. Instead of dwelling on information for its own sake, focus instead on the character's objective and use the exposition to support it. As a result, we will learn about the past or offstage world only because of what the character is trying to accomplish in the present.
Imply, don't explain. The best way to reveal exposition is often through implication. Give us hints and clues that suggest rather than explain the information you want us to know. If we are trying to piece these clues together and figure things out, you've got us where you want us: leaning forward and involved in your story.
Say less. Parcel out exposition in bits and pieces, and weave it into the action when it is appropriate to do so. Remember that we are smart enough to piece these fragments together even when they are not fully and logically articulated in chronological order. Less is more.
Use subtext. Much can be revealed by what is not said during a scene. A character's silence, evasiveness, or refusal to deal with a certain issue can tell us a lot. Think about what's going on between the lines.
Let images say it for you. Remember that a picture is worth a thousand words and that much can be conveyed through the physical life of the story: the setting, the objects that reside or don't reside in it, even the clothing that the characters wear. Whenever possible, try to "show, not tell," the story.
Beware of foils. A "foil" is a character who exists only to ask the right questions so that the other character can conveniently dish out all the information that the author wants us to know. You may have a foil on your hands if a character does little but ask question after question.
Beware of characters who speak only for the sake of the audience. Such characters love to sit around and discuss what everyone already knows. They dwell on the obvious, relive memories-often in great detail-and brilliantly analyze themselves and each other. Their retrospective elucidation is information-packed, but often feels so phony and contrived that we don't care about what we learn.
Keep the characters up to speed with the audience. Don't make us wait while one character reports to another character what the rest of us saw happen in an earlier scene. An easy way to avoid such repetition is to start the new scene later-after the uninformed character has been brought up to speed. The only time such rehashing works is when there is something new about it-for example, the teller misrepresents the facts because he is lying, mistaken, or deluded about what happened.
Force out the facts. Information that has to be forced out of a character can be more interesting than information freely given. By suggesting that the character has something to hide, you can create dramatic tension that makes us want to get in on the secret.
Avoid cliches. Watch out for overused methods of inserting exposition into the story. A classic exposition cliche is the "feather duster" scene in which an old-fashioned play would open with servants dusting the room and gossiping in great detail about the family they serve, thus setting up the story for everyone in the audience. Today, the term "feather duster" applies to any scene in which characters talk to each other only to impart plot details. Other exposition devices that have become shopworn include letters, telegrams, television and radio news broadcasts, and telephone answering machine messages. If you feel it necessary to use one of these devices, try to find a unique way of handl
ing it.
Dramatic writers sometimes view exposition as a necessary evil. When managed well, however, exposition can be a powerful tool to motivate present-tense action and turn the story in new directions. Properly moti vated, a sudden revelation can heighten drama and set action on an unexpected course for both the characters and the audience. In short, exposition is not to be avoided: it is to be unleashed.
Dramatic action implies that, however fascinating the past may have been, the present is even more fascinating. That's why the story takes place here and nownot there and then.
ABOUT THE EXERCISE
Use this exercise to revise a scene that feels expositional-for example, it reveals important information about the past but does so in a way that drags down the action. You can also adapt this exercise to any new scene you are planning.
THE EXPOSITIONAL FACTS IN THE SCENE
To begin, read through the scene you want to revise and identify the expositional information revealed in it. This includes facts about the past, the offstage world of the story, or the deepest inner workings of the characters. For example, here are a few expositional facts that come to light during the opening scene of The Real Thing by Tom Stoppard. Each of these occurred before the scene begins:
• Max and Charlotte are an English couple whose marriage is in trouble. Charlotte has been traveling a lot lately and claims it's for business, but Max suspects her of having an affair.
• Charlotte is due back any moment from her latest trip, which, she claimed, was to Switzerland. While she was gone, however, Max found her passport-proof that she could not really be visiting a foreign country.
• After returning home from each of her phony trips, Charlotte has tried to forestall suspicion by presenting Max with a "souvenir" from the country she supposedly visited.
List the expositional facts that you want to reveal in your scene and focus particularly on those that seem to be getting in the way of what's happening here and now.