“Alyssa!” Jayce came to a halt at the end of the bar. He braced his hands on it, anger hardening his glare. He opened his mouth, but as Brice opened the refrigerator, Jayce snapped his mouth shut once again.
Relief swamped Alyssa. Thank God. He wouldn’t pursue an argument in front of Brice. He preferred privacy when it came to their disagreements. She braved his glinting dark eyes. Taking care to keep her voice calm, she reiterated her stance. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
His jaw flexed. The fingers on one hand curled over the smooth counter and into a tight fist. With slow, deliberate movements, he turned and took two steps toward the door.
Alyssa let out the breath she’d been holding. Her gaze slid sideways to where Brice stood at the counter, slathering butter on his bagel. Only he wasn’t looking at the bagel, but instead, frowning at her. Disapproval turned down the corners of his mouth. She looked away, unwilling to let his judgment bend her in a direction she couldn’t take. It was better this way. Jayce might be angry, but she couldn’t explain. Not without going back in time to the root of why one ridiculously faked picture reduced her to a panicked mess.
* * *
Jayce reached the hall, and his control snapped. Alyssa knew a hell of a lot more than what little she’d said, and he was goddamned tired of her avoiding conversation. He spun on his heel. If she wanted to run, then by God, he had no problem taking the argument to her. It was long past time.
He stormed back into the kitchen and slapped a hand against the doorframe. “Damn it, Alyssa! Ten fucking years! You act like I’m some total stranger. Like I have no right to ask questions or be concerned. Why the hell won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you tell me—” He stopped before the question could slip free. McTavish hadn’t known about their baby. Jayce refused to bring that secret up in front of him. Only Jordan had shared Jayce’s joy.
To his complete surprise, Alyssa spun around, her own eyes lighting with anger. “That’s it, isn’t it? You can’t leave the past alone, can you?”
Leave it alone? Had she lost her fucking mind? She knew how excited he’d been, what he’d given up for them. The idea that she could just forget everything, that she’d walked away without a backward glance, grabbed his stomach in an iron fist. He grimaced. “No, I guess I can’t. You were mine, Alyssa. Now you’re fucking living with him.” He stabbed a thumb in McTavish’s direction.
Brice took a step toward the doorway Jayce occupied. “I think, I’m just going to—”
“Stay,” Alyssa instructed quietly. “I don’t want you to go.”
That quiet utterance tore Jayce up inside. She couldn’t have drawn a more clear line on where she stood and who she stood with. Not him. McTavish. He’d fucking fall at her feet and beg for answers, but she didn’t give a damn. He was just a temporary toy.
Alyssa motioned between him and Brice. The light in her eyes took on a pleading quality that dealt more damage to him than the realization she’d moved beyond what they’d once shared.
“Can’t you accept this is what I want right now, Jayce?” The anger had left her voice, replaced by a touch of hurt. “Nothing deep. I just want to enjoy each other.” She stepped into his space, drew a gentle hand down his chest. Fire followed in the wake of her fingertips.
“I want to enjoy you. And I don’t want to go backward in time.”
“Enjoy me?” he croaked out hoarsely. Every instinct he possessed screamed he should push her away and leave. There was no present without the past. Couldn’t she see that the past was what bound them together? That the passion they shared had never been strictly physical?
Alyssa lifted to her toes and brushed soft lips against his. “Just this. Right here and now. That’s all I want.”
In that instant, sense fled. There was no trying to argue with himself, or with her, about right, or wrong, or what they were, or what they had been. All that mattered was stopping the pain of feeling like he was being torn in two. And with that ache came the fierce, maddening desire to make her need him as much as he needed her. He slid a hand into her hair and gathered it roughly in his fingers. He dragged her mouth to his, aware his kiss was hard and rough. When he finished with her, she’d never doubt he’d touched her. Never again be able to turn away unaffected.
He backed her against the countertop, swallowed down the surprised squeak that bubbled in her throat when she came to a hard stop. Soft curves aligned with his body, pushing him deeper into torment. He slipped a hand between their bodies and cupped her breast. As he gave it a firm squeeze, he broke the kiss. “I’ll give you what you want, Alyssa, but don’t you dare hate me after. I can do cold and meaningless better than you can possibly imagine.”
And he had, countless times over the years. Women passed through his bed, not one of them staying more than a night or two. Not a one of them had come close to touching his heart because it was too goddamn full of Alyssa. Sure, there had always been the excuse that he was on mission, that he couldn’t risk getting tangled up because of his job, but when the lights were on and the passion died, it all came down to brutal truth he couldn’t force her out of his system.
Now, she wanted the same meaningless desire. He’d give it to her. He’d hate himself for being unable to say no, for being so weak when it came to her, but he’d never make the mistake of feeling when it came to her again.
McTavish moved in his peripheral vision, heading once again for the doorway. Jayce held Alyssa’s gaze. “Don’t go, McTavish. You heard her. She wants you to stay.” Before Alyssa could observe the way it killed him to invite McTavish, he thrust her shirt up and closed his mouth around the pert nipple straining against the lace of her bra.
The way Alyssa arched against him and keened against the firm pull of his mouth sent lust racing through his system. His hips ground into hers, his cock instantaneously hard and aching. He blocked the blistering sensation, pushed it to the dark recesses of his mind where it couldn’t transform into anything close to emotion. Dropping one hand beneath her ass, he lifted her off the ground until she wrapped her legs around him and their close proximity forced him to release her breast.
McTavish’s hands brushed Jayce’s as he reached for the hem of her shirt. Jayce jerked his aside, settled on cupping his fingers around the swell of her buttocks and kneading the tight muscles there. As Alyssa scattered kisses down the length of Jayce’s throat, McTavish eased her shirt over her head.
Jayce braved looking at her face. Arousal softened her features, but she kept her eyes closed, blocking him from any true hint as to what she might be feeling. Just as well. He didn’t really want to know anyway. He’d seen enough this morning. He did, however, catch the hint of discomfort that touched McTavish’s brow before he lowered his mouth to the nape of Alyssa’s neck.
Fuck it. McTavish had her; he could deal with what his precious princess wanted. Jayce didn’t like it anymore than his former best friend did, but at least they were on equal playing fields this way.
“Lean back,” he instructed hoarsely.
McTavish guided her as she followed Jayce’s command, his arms supporting her until she rested her head on his shoulder. Her short breaths heaved her bound breasts, and Jayce flattened his palm against her abdomen. Around his waist, her thighs gripped hard.
Slowly, he inched his hand up the centerline of her body, fascinated by soft valleys and the tight rise of muscles she obviously spent time maintaining. She tipped her hips forward, stroking herself against his confined erection, and her lips parted with a soft gasp.
God, she was beautiful. Like a fucking angel.
Jayce released the clasp of her bra, doing his best to ignore the way McTavish teased her into an awkward, upside down kiss. He focused instead on her breasts, on the dusky buds that called to his mouth. Drawing one between his teeth, he closed his eyes and fitted his hands at her hips. Satisfaction blistered across his skin as Alyssa slipped her fingers into his hair.
Yeah, she liked that. She always had been super sensiti
ve to her nipples. He tweaked one with his teeth, then swirled his tongue around the hard bud. Alyssa let out a soft moan. His cock pulsed in answer. He craved the feel of her soft wet flesh gloving his cock, craved it so bad he could taste it. And yet, he knew she wouldn’t give that part of her to him. Like she had done last night, she’d turn to McTavish, allowing him to possess the most intimate part of her.
He reminded himself she didn’t want intimacy, and he didn’t require it. Instead, he glided his hands up Alyssa’s back, forcing himself to ease, not shove, McTavish’s aside, and gathered her into his embrace. Not particularly caring whether McTavish followed, yet knowing he did, Jayce carried Alyssa into the living room and laid her on the couch. There would be nothing tender about this, no room for sentiment. She’d pushed every button he possessed, and he intended to take her relentlessly.
Jayce made quick work of his clothes. McTavish took his time, leaving Jayce the incredible treasure of peeling Alyssa out of her jeans. He knelt at the edge of the couch, eased the button free at her waist, and pressed his lips to the indentation of her hip. Goosebumps broke over her flesh.
Reaching around her, he eased the denim over the flare of her hips, dragging kisses across every inch of her skin that he exposed. He took his time, drawing out the anticipation. Satisfaction thrummed through him as her teeth pricked her lower lip, and she gently shifted against the leather cushions. When he had exposed her completely, he glanced up from her ankles and let his gaze roam over every delectable bit of her body. Her nipples were hard, her breasts tight. Her abdomen clenched against the build of arousal.
Jayce’s gaze skimmed lower, over the thin line of curls to the juncture of her legs. Her thighs parted just enough he glimpsed the dewy pink flesh that was swollen and ready. Against his thigh, his cock bobbed, and the fierce hunger that filled him tightened his balls. He had to taste her. Rising, he moved between her legs and dusted his mouth over the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh.
McTavish knelt beside the couch and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. That whisper of a touch pulled a ragged whimper from her parted lips. She bent a knee, lifted her hips closer to Jayce’s mouth. He answered her quiet demand with a slow, deliberate stroke of his tongue through the wet folds of her flesh.
Alyssa moaned. She dropped a hand to the crown of Jayce’s head and pressed his mouth more firmly against her. He let her have the instant of control, let her guide him where she wanted him. Just for a moment. Then he swirled the tip of his tongue around her engorged clitoris and ripped that control out of her hands. Her fingers loosened. She melted into the cushions, opening herself fully to the play of Jayce’s tongue.
He chanced a glance at her face. Watched rapture steal over her expression as McTavish bent over her breast and drew her nipple into his mouth. She looped her arm around his shoulders, curled her fingers into the base of his skull.
Determined she wouldn’t become caught up in McTavish, Jayce blocked the scene by closing his own eyes and dipped his tongue into her soaked opening.
“Oh, God,” she cried softly as she bucked against his mouth. “Jayce.”
Sliding his hand beneath her flexing buttocks, he lifted her so he could possess her more deeply. His fingers bit into those tight muscles, gripping her tight as he claimed her hard and deliberately. Her sultry flavor assaulted his senses, making it damn near impossible not to forget himself and become lost in the sound of her ragged breathing. But Christ, it was difficult to maintain emotional distance. He needed this woman like he needed air.
“Jayce.” Breathless, she called out again, quieter now, almost like she confided some soul-deep secret.
Something cracked inside him then. The anger and frustration gave way to unspeakable tenderness that twisted his heart painfully. He eased the harsh grip of his fingers, slowed the thrust and glide of his tongue. No matter what she said, no matter how she pushed him away, he had always loved her. And the unhesitating way she surrendered her body was a gift he refused to abuse.
He tuned McTavish out and stretched out more comfortably between Alyssa’s legs. Slowly, he licked her. Edged his tongue in and out of her wet depths. Coaxing her to that high plateau where passion engulfed her and he could glimpse the woman he had promised forever to. Her throaty moans gave way to impassioned pleas, and her body began to move against the steady thrust of his tongue. He felt the clench of her inner muscles, drank down the sweet cream. Gradually, the hand that rested in his hair began to grip more tightly. Her hips moved more demandingly.
His body was on fire, desire blistering through his bloodstream. His cock was painfully hard, and each undulation of her body only filled him with the agonizing yearning to feel the sweet soft flesh nestled against his mouth slip around his erection. To slide within her more deeply. To possess her completely.
As his own need became unbearable, Jayce eased his mouth away and replaced his tongue with his fingers. His gaze latched onto her face, dimly registering the way McTavish toyed with her nipples, and Jayce watched, spellbound, as he pushed two fingers inside.
“Oh.” The soft, gasping utterance tumbled from her lips as her pussy clenched around him. She drew in a ragged breath and held it, fighting the release that pulsed around his fingertips.
He couldn’t take it any more—the tightening of her muscles made his yearning unbearable. Before he could stop the confession, it slid free. “I want to be inside you, Alyssa.” He pushed in again, slow, purposeful. “Here.”
“Yes,” she exhaled. “Yes, Jayce.”
He blinked, momentarily stunned by her acceptance. Then, her words crashed around him, threatening to send him over the edge and push him into immediate release. He glanced to the coffee table, suddenly aware of the fact he didn’t possess a condom. Fuck.
He cast a questioning gaze on McTavish, hoping to God the man was more prepared. With a look of regret, he picked up an open packet from somewhere beside his knees. “Bathroom,” he murmured.
Right. Bathroom. By the time he got back, Alyssa might change her fucking mind. Son of a bitch.
With a harassed sigh, Jayce eased to his knees.
“No,” she murmured, clutching at his hand. “Don’t stop.”
“I’ll just be a minute, baby.” He brushed a quick, chaste kiss to the top of one lean thigh and set a foot on the floor.
Alyssa’s fingers twined through his. “Jayce.” Wide brown eyes latched onto his, full of some familiar conveyance he couldn’t fully recognize.
In the next heartbeat, understanding threatened to knock him flat on his back. Two things collided in his head. The first, Alyssa had never liked condoms. The second, McTavish had used one the night before, and already had one donned, which led to the logical supposition it was routine. Oh, holy hell, surely he was reading too much into things.
Fuck. He didn’t care. And the peaceful acceptance that shone in her silent gaze erased all discomfort about McTavish’s presence here. Jayce bent over Alyssa, captured her mouth in his, and drew her into his arms. Leaning back into the cushions, he took her with him, glorying in the feel of her body weighing down his.
He felt the cushions give near his feet, spread his ankles to make room for McTavish, and ignored the insignificant encounter with his fingers as Jayce glided his hands over the rounded curves of Alyssa’s ass. Her wet folds seared heat into his cock. He nudged her higher, edged the wide thick head of himself into her slick opening. At the first clench of her muscles, his lungs locked. He pulled in a sharp breath through flared nostrils and shuddered. Oh hell, yes. Fucking heaven.
Jayce allowed her to take him inside slowly, the grip and squeeze of her pussy pulling him deeper, inch by inch. Ecstasy enveloped him. Combined with the heady pleasure of her eager kiss, he couldn’t think straight. Then, he was buried as far as he could go, and everything locked into place. This was where he belonged. Where he’d longed to be for ten long, fucking years. God, she felt right.
E i g h t e e n
Alyssa trembled at the feel of Jay
ce’s cock pulsing deep inside her. He stretched her wider than she remembered, tight enough she could feel the unsteady beat of his heart where they connected. More perfectly than any man had ever connected with her. And the lack of any barrier between them only added to the overwhelming intensity of sensation. He had been the last man she willingly accepted without protection. Even Brice, for all their closeness, hadn’t known her this intimately.
Brice’s hand smoothed down the curve of her spine, blending with the comfortable grip of Jayce’s fingers on her ass. His fingers dipped into the crevice between her rear cheeks, stroked the sensitive rosette there. She twisted her hips at the spike of pleasure, taking Jayce a hairsbreadth deeper. And the kiss became too much. She couldn’t breathe like this, couldn’t think through the haze of sensation. Desperate to ground herself, she pulled away from the intoxicating heaven of Jayce’s mouth and lifted to her hands.
Her gaze connected with his for a heartbeat. Luminous onyx eyes filled with affection that threatened to strip away her hold on reality. How easy it would be to get lost in him all over again, to pretend nothing distanced them. Oh, it had been foolish to let him take her this way, to put herself in the position of confronting everything he made her feel.
Desperate to escape the full measure of truth in Jayce’s gaze, she bent forward and teased her teeth across the silver barbell in his nipple. A breath hissed through his teeth. Against her rear, his fingers clenched more tightly. Delighted by his easy response, she gave in to a smile. Yes, like this, it didn’t matter what burned behind his gaze. She held the upper hand. Maintained control.
Warm, moist heat swept across the base of her tailbone. She gasped against the sudden shock of Brice’s wicked tongue. A surge of sensation swept over her, and her elbows collapsed. She tumbled against Jayce’s chest, instinct arching her hips backward, closer to the flick of Brice’s tongue. As her thoughts threaten to spiral beyond her grasp, she snatched at them frantically. No. She couldn’t let go. Couldn’t yield completely.
Explosive (The Black Opals) Page 14