UPHEAVAL!
Ogre’s Assistant
Book Two
DJ Martin
Upheaval! Ogre’s Assistant Book Two
Copyright © 2014 by DJ Martin
Cover Art by Kit Foster Design
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
ISBN: 978-0-9888547-9-6 (sc)
978-0-9888547-5-8 (e)
Published by The Herby Lady, LLC
The right of DJ Martin to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
Chapter 1
“We need to talk,” Cassandra said as she made my morning latte.
“About your wedding plans? Then you’ve set a date?” I eagerly replied. Cassandra was my BFF and the owner of the deli downstairs from my office. She was engaged to one of the guys who worked for her. After a few hiccups, she and Tommy had finally decided to make it a permanent arrangement.
“No. Well, yes, we need to talk about that, too. But I was referring to testing your magical abilities.”
Shit. It had only been a couple of weeks since we’d banished a matchmaking demon who was making my life hell and I was enjoying having a normal life. Well, as normal as it could be given that my boss, Evander, was a smelly ogre who threw temper tantrums on a daily basis.
“I know what your dad said at the winter ceremony but honestly, I don’t think I’m a witch. I never do anything magical like you and Tommy.”
Did I forget to mention my best friend was also a witch? Normal is a relative term for me.
Cassandra sighed. “Just because you don’t go cooking up potions on a regular basis doesn’t mean you don’t have any magical abilities. I’ve been seeing signs. You do need to find out so if you are, you can be trained to handle your powers.”
I sighed right back. “I don’t have time to be a witch. And even if I did, I don’t want to be one. I like my life just the way it is. Can we just forget about it?”
“We can’t forget about it but we can table the discussion for a little while. Amy, I’m not kidding when I say if you have magical abilities, you need to learn about them. Bad things, disastrous things can happen to someone who doesn’t know how to control their own abilities. I’ll let it slide for now but I’m not going to let up on you for long.
“In the meantime, we do need to talk about the handfasting. Can you come over for dinner tonight?”
For one of her meals, I was almost always available. Having a chef for a friend when one hated to cook was a definite benefit. But not this night. My side job as a paranormal romance author took precedence over my stomach. “Sorry, can’t. I have an editing deadline looming and it’s going to be nose to the grindstone for the next several nights. What do we need to talk about?”
“Tommy and I have almost everything set including the date, which is the Spring Equinox. I was going to tell you what we have planned and then sometime real soon, you and I need to go dress shopping.”
I had to think a moment. My calendar consisted of my boss’ parties and writing deadlines. “The Spring Equinox? That’s mid-March, right? How are you going to pull everything together in less than two months?”
“You’re right on the date. This year it’s March twenty-first. Pulling it together was actually fairly easy. We just made a couple of phone calls to people we know for catering and the disc jockey. Tommy’s dad knows someone on the Parks and Recreation Board and arranged the site. My only problem is getting Mom to pare down her part of the guest list. She seems to think this is going to be the biggest magical gathering of the year and I’ll be damned if I’m going to feed some of those jackasses.”
I laughed at that one. Both sets of their parents were pretty high up in the magical community but thus far, neither child had shown a lick of interest in that type of politicking. Then again, they were fairly young for a witch and wizard. “I’m assuming you told her family and close friends only.”
“Naturally. But all those high muckety-mucks are close friends in her mind. She’s going to have to cut her list by more than half and she’s not happy.”
“I have faith. I should have everything to my editor by Friday so how about either Sunday or Monday after work for shopping?”
She thought a bit. Sunday was the only day off we had in common – I worked Monday through Friday and the deli was open Tuesday through Saturday. “How about next Sunday? We have things to do this weekend.”
I promised to write it on my calendar and then headed upstairs to begin my day. While my pot of coffee perked and the computer whirred its way to functionality, I thought about the wedding – handfasting. (I was going to have to wrap my head around the new vocabulary.) I knew she wanted something simple and outdoors but an outdoor wedding – handfasting – in March? In Minneapolis? The weather was awfully iffy at that time of year. I’d have to ask about alternate plans when we went dress shopping.
Mondays are never fun at my office. The aforementioned ogre owned the largest personal security firm in the Upper Midwest, specializing in providing non-human bodyguards. Although everyone had Ev’s cell number for emergencies at night and on weekends, there were always a boatload of non-emergency daily reports to read immediately just in case there was a situation warranting fast attention, plus my normal load of email about the business end of the things.
I’d just finished slogging through the emails when a horrible aroma permeated my office. I knew my reading had taken far more time than I’d anticipated because when I looked at the clock down in the corner of my computer screen, it read nearly eleven o’clock. Without looking up from my notepad I said, “Good morning, Ev. How was your weekend?”
“It was wonderful,” Ev gushed. That caused me to look up. Ev didn’t usually gush. But the look on his face said it all. Ev was in love. Again. He fell in lust on a regular basis and if the lusty get-togethers lasted for more than a month or two, he thought he was in love. He and another ogre, Marianna, had been seeing each other regularly for about three months, so it was time. I raised an eyebrow.
“Marianna and I spent the most wonderful weekend. Parties both Friday and Saturday nights punctuated by some of the best sex I’ve ever had.”
I lowered my eyebrows and wrinkled my nose. Eeew. Ogre sex. Not something I wanted to think about on a Monday morning. I told him as much.
He shrugged his shoulders. “What time is Sally getting here? I’m taking Marianna on vacation in a couple of months and I want to get all the arrangements made. Just the two of us in a woodland cabin for a whole week. I can’t wait.” (Sally was my assistant and part of her job involved handling the travel arrangements.)
I guffawed. “You? Vacation for a whole week? Five bucks says you can’t stay off the phone for more than two days. And as you well know, Sally comes in about one. Write everything down and put it on her desk.” I tore a sheet off my notepad. “Here’s your list of phone calls to make. Oh, and the Petrolino contract is up next month. Decide if you want to renew it as is or make changes. It’s been in your inbox for the last two weeks.”
“This time will be different. I really want to spend the time alone with Marianna, away from work concerns. You won’t hear a peep out of me the whole tim
e.”
I snorted as Ev turned to leave my office. My boss couldn’t stay away from work or the glitzy parties that long. I knew that whenever the vacation was, I’d be five dollars richer. I turned back to the paperwork on my desk.
Sally came in promptly at one, looking as always like a chic Valkyrie. I was continually amazed that a society matron wanted to work. But there she was in her designer suit and understated-yet-expensive jewelry, with her perfectly-coiffed blonde hair and ice-blue eyes, picking up Ev’s note and laughing. She came into my office.
“Did you know Ev wants to go on vacation?”
“Yep,” I chuckled. “I bet him five bucks he wouldn’t stay away from work more than two days. I forgot to ask him. When?”
“Last week in March. And a cabin? Away from the city and all the parties? I’ll go halfsies on the bet with you. There’s no way he’ll last!”
We both laughed again and went back to work. At the appointed hour – four o’clock, I shut down my computer and walked the three blocks home, anticipating my afternoon nap. Starting work at seven-ish gave me the perk of leaving early and getting a nice, long afternoon nap in before changing hats from administrative assistant to author.
I shared my dinner salad with a tuna garnish with my spoiled cat, Fudge, and sat down to do my least-favorite authorial task: editing. Oh yes, I had an excellent professional editor but all the changes she made were only suggestions. I still had to go through every single one, decide if they were changes I wanted to make and then do some rewriting to make it all flow. I’d much prefer if I could just write the stories and have them come out perfect the first time.
Normally, Fudge just curled up next to the keyboard and supervised when I wrote. Tonight, however, he wasn’t content to just sleepily oversee. Every time I positioned my hands over the keys, he batted them away. Twice, he knocked my cell phone to the floor and each time I picked it up, it was ready to dial Cassandra.
I sighed with exasperation, glared at him and put him on the floor. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you but I really have to work. I know you like Cassandra but she can’t come over to play tonight. Give it a rest, will you?”
Although I spoke to Fudge as if he understood English, he was just a cat. But this night, I swore he understood me. After glaring back at me, he heaved a sigh and, padding over to the couch and curling up on it, began to give himself what was probably his hundredth bath of the day. I finally could get down to – ick, editing.
Chapter 2
March had come in like a lion with a lot of snow. But only two weeks into the month, it finally felt like spring was arriving. The snow melted and dried up quickly. Early flowers started poking their stalks above the ground. The population started emerging onto the sidewalks and paths around the lakes like people waking from a season-long sleep. The morning of the vernal equinox dawned sunny and unusually warm.
I would normally have bemoaned sitting in an office all day but not this particular Tuesday. Instead of sitting at my desk, plowing through piles of paperwork, I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. It was the day of Cassandra and Tommy’s handfasting.
As the maid of honor, I had to dress and prepare not only myself but the blushing bride as well. In the preceding two months, I’d found out a witch/wizard wedding was pretty much like every other. Invitations, flowers, reception … the whole nine. About the only difference was what they said to each other. They even had to do the blood tests and courthouse thing to make it legal, which we’d taken care of on Monday.
I didn’t need to be at Cassandra’s until eleven but naturally, I was awake at my usual early hour, thanks to the fact that I couldn’t have room-darkening drapes. Fudge shredded anything decent. Being up that early gave me plenty of time to bemoan the fact that I wouldn’t be able to take my afternoon nap.
After checking the pile on the couch about a hundred times, still feeling like I was missing something, it was finally time to leave. I grabbed my dress, accessories and makeup and with loaded arms, walked the three blocks to her house.
It was already bedlam there. Gert, Cassandra’s cousin, childhood buddy and the other attendant, was in tears, sobbing how she’d never thought Cassandra would get married and that she and Tommy were so perfect for each other. Celeste, Cassandra’s mother, was on the phone, harassing the caterer. Cassandra was trying to calm them down. Tommy and his soon-to-be father-in-law, Marcus, had wisely left and were doing whatever guys do the morning of the wedding at Tommy’s father’s house.
“Hey,” I yelled. “We still have three hours. That’s plenty of time to get everyone ready, everything together and get over to the park. Cassandra, is there any coffee left?” Gert’s crying subsided to a sniffle, Celeste hung up the phone and both just looked at me.
“Everything is on schedule and unless one of us is going to require more time in the bathroom than I anticipate, why don’t we all take a breath, huh?” I said a little more quietly.
“I just made a fresh pot. Help yourself.” Cassandra came over, took my things and gave me a hug, quietly saying, “Thanks for that. Mom and Gert are giving me a headache. I’ve told Mom things are under control but she doesn’t believe me, and Gert won’t stop blubbering.”
Just as I finished pouring my coffee, the doorbell rang. It was the florist’s delivery guy with our part of the floral arrangements. I took delivery of two boxes and three centerpiece arrangements. After confirming he was on his way to drop off the rest of it at Tommy’s dad’s, I opened the boxes to sort through, oohing and aahing to myself. The centerpieces were mostly white carnations and daisies with a scattering of deep yellow roses. Everything for the ceremony itself was white roses and rosemary. Although I’d never pictured using herbs in a bouquet before, I couldn’t help but be impressed with the beauty, not to mention the fragrance.
“Wow. They did a wonderful job with what to them was an unusual request,” Cassandra said as she came up behind me.
“I’ll admit it’s unusual to me,” I countered. “The white roses I get, but rosemary?”
“You know the roses signify purity. Rosemary is traditional in our handfastings. It means fidelity. The guy’s boutonnieres are the same.”
We moved the centerpieces to the dining room table and laid the bouquets and Celeste’s corsage on the hall table next to the door so we wouldn’t forget them.
Just then the doorbell rang again. Cassandra greeted Mark, the friend who was catering the reception, with a hug and, “You know your way around. I don’t think we’ll need the tent, do you? The centerpieces are on the dining room table.” Mark nodded and went back outside. I heard shuffling of feet down the sidewalk that led to the back gate and subsequently saw Mark and three others begin to transform the yard into an outdoor reception hall.
“Mom and Gert, it’s probably time you started dressing,” Cassandra told them. “I’ll want my bathroom in about twenty minutes and I’m sure Amy needs a mirror, too.” As the women headed upstairs, Cassandra plopped down on the couch with a sigh.
“We should have eloped or something. I knew it was going to be like this. They’ve only been here since yesterday and I’m already at wits’ end. Gert’s acting like once we’re married, I won’t be the same person. Mom still seems to think this is a full-on gathering of every magical person in the country. Even though she knows we can’t change the calendar or the way the solar system works, it’s inconvenient to hold the ceremony in the middle of the week. And she’s still pissed that we’re not going anywhere for a honeymoon so won’t let any of the family stay here.”
I commiserated with her. “It’s like that at every other wedding I’ve attended – including my own. It’s that ‘special day’ aura that descends on everyone in attendance except the bride and groom, I think. I don’t know about you but I’m going to enjoy my coffee while I watch Mark and his people set up. Once your Mom is out of your bathroom, we can go commandeer your bedroom and shut them out until it’s almost time to leave. Gregory should b
e here shortly after one. Ev said he was going to be dropped off at the park and just hang out people watching until the party started.”
I mused at that last statement. Ev hanging out in a park people watching? More like people would be watching him. At over seven feet tall with puce skin, he didn’t blend well.
We both stood quietly at the windows of her workroom sipping coffee and watching the crew set up the tables, chairs, and makeshift dance floor. Mark came in to get Cassandra’s keys to the deli. “The refrigerators over there are a lot bigger, as is the prep table. Since it’s right next door, I’m using it instead of trying to cram everything in here,” he told me when I raised my eyebrows.
Celeste and Gert finally came downstairs. “It’s all yours, sweetheart,” Celeste said as she smoothed the sides of her gown. “Are you sure I can’t help with anything?” She was almost pleading.
“Mom, all I’m going to do is put on my makeup and dress,” Cassandra answered with a big sigh. “Amy can help zip me up which, I think, is all the help I’m going to need. Have a snack. You know you get headaches if you don’t eat regularly. And for goodness’ sake, stay out of Mark’s hair. He really does know what he’s doing. We’ll be down in a bit.”
She grabbed my hand and hauled me up the stairs. “Do your makeup first, while I’m laying everything out. I’m sure I’ll also have to convince Merlin not to cover my dress with his fur.”
I’d totally forgotten the cat. “Where is he?”
“Under the bed. He headed there as soon as Gert started her sniveling. Tears bother him for some reason. Go, huh?”
I followed instructions, put on my makeup and emerged to find her hugging Merlin to her chest. He was only making a show of disliking his position. He was a snuggler at heart. “Mine doesn’t seem to be a problem but he won’t stay off your dress. I didn’t want his claws pulling threads or anything. Get dressed so I can put him down, will you?”
Upheaval! Page 1