"Great? Now look what you've done." I hear Josh accuse Damien as the two pack wolves run after me.
I don't turn back. An invisible hand propels me forward as I navigate myself through the maze, trying to locate my shared sleeping quarters.
This competition was becoming too much for me to handle. I had already fought one battle, and I felt completely and utterly drained, as if I was a battery that was running on its last coulomb. This was a terrible idea. Why didn't I just let them kill me? Because when you're about to die, animal instinct kicks in, and you choose to fight each time.
I fling open the door of my room, and jump on the nearest bed, the soft white material of the mattress welcoming me into its arms. At least there was food and a proper place to sleep here. Out in the wild, you had to be used to surviving on the bear the minimum, but here everything was laid out for you like an 'all you can eat' buffet.
I curl my body into a ball as I feel the bed dip. Glancing up, I see Josh as he reaches down to stroke my hair. His fingers teased the strands as his feather touch tucked the loose tresses behind my ear.
"I don't think I can do it, Josh." I sigh as I begin to sit up on the comfy material. Azra was nowhere in sight, perhaps purposely giving us some space. "The Alpha Trials, I mean. I may be a rogue, but I'm not strong enough." I spill my insecurities. I'm not strategic. I win down to pure luck and that my will to survive outweighs my opponent's.
"Aurora, trust me, you're strong enough. You always have been: you just can't see it." Josh tells me, but I push away his hand as he begins to stroke my hair again. It was beginning to get a little strange.
I turn to face him, his eyes enveloping me in their beauty. I don't know how long I stare at them for, but as the seconds tick by, I feel as though I fall further and further into their fathomless chasm.
"Don't lie. I'm tired of people lying to me."
Josh's eyes betray the fact that he is hurt. A twinge in the deep mocha makes me realise that my words actually have an effect on him, but – as usual – by the time I realise, it's too late. "I don't lie, Aura." He stares at me with his steel orbs. "You are strong enough. You just can't see it."
"I-" I begin, but Josh holds up his hand for quiet.
"The strength you're looking for," He taps his breastbone, signalling to his heart. "It's in here. It always has been, and always will be."
I smile at him, not because his face was gorgeous, but because he was right. "When did you become such an inspirational speaker?"
Josh shows me his wolfy grin. "I was born one."
"Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that." I chuckle with a wink, sorrow dissipating.
At that, I roll my eyes and lie back down on the bed. After the events of today, my body felt as though it was slowly wasting away, my organs shutting down as my body became too drowsy to function. Even the battle with Damien hadn't been as exhausting.
"You get some rest," Josh whispered as he patted my shoulder, the bed rising once more as he retracted his body weight. "I'll see you in the morning."
His footfalls are so light, I don't know he's gone until he blows out the flame torch, leaving me in complete darkness. The only sound was the scratching of a mouse as the vulnerable creature skittered across the floor in the hallway, but it was comforting to be alone for once.
And just like that, completely and utterly alone, I fall into a deep slumber.
My muzzle sniffs the air as I tentatively glance into the shadows, afraid that someone would appear within the cloak of night. It was a full moon, and the only light was the moonlight streaming through the curtain of trees as I quickly darted through the foliage.
Each time one of my paws hit the cool and wet grass, I feel a strange sensation run up my spine. I was a shifting she-wolf. I could shift.
Being the only shifting she-wolf in the pack was dangerous, and it was a secret I would not be able to keep for long. When you've been stuck in a group of fifty people for all your twelve years of life, who know each other like the backs of their hands, word spreads fast. I just had to keep my discovery low key, otherwise I would soon find a wildfire brewing on my hands.
I shiver as my bones begin to crackle and snap, a howl of excruciating pain leaving my muzzle as I fall to the ground. This was my first shift, and the aching was unbearable. Everything was unbearable. Why did my life have to be so complicated?
After a few seconds, I feel my claws disappear to form five slender fingers on each hand, and within seconds the pain ebbs away. I am left exposed to the elements, with only the thin shifting garments my father was able to smuggle me sticking loosely to my sweating skin.
I nervously glance around, afraid that someone had seen me. If they discovered my secret now, it would be the end. They would kill me because they would be scared. Why? Because all the men here are sexist.
In this area, the grass was bright emerald in the day, but a gloomy midnight in the dark. Whereas others thought that this clearing was beautiful and mystical, it was not hard to see past the limited beauty, and to see the true horror that was disguised by poison ivy. The clearing bordered the pack's tents, the first shelter only being twenty meters away.
"You really thought that you could keep your little secret from us?" A voice snarls from the ghastly shadows. The owner of the voice wasn't much better in appearance as he slunk from his hiding place at the edge of the clearing.
I feel the blood in my veins turn to ice, and soon I'm unable to move at all, my body stuck in the same shocked position for what seems to be hours.
"I- I'm sorry?" I ask, gulping as the sixteen year old wolf saunters towards me, fists clenched so tightly it appears that his knuckles would begin to start bleeding soon.
Titus snarls at me. "You heard what I said." He raises his lips, exposing his pointed canines embedded within his crimson gums. "When were you going to tell us that you could shift?"
I ignore his question. How did he know? I hadn't sensed him at all when I was in my wolf form, so how had he suddenly appeared out of nowhere?
"I can't shift." I state defiantly. I was not going to let this arsehole spread the secret that I could shift.
"Liar." He spits as he stalks up to my frail body, his face so close to mine that I can see the saliva dripping from the corners of his lips like a bulldog. "I saw you shift." He leans back, folding his arms across his chest and laughing. "Just you wait until I tell them."
Being twelve years old, I feel complete and utterly exposed as the huge sixteen year old towers over, his muscles easily showing through the thin material of his shifting clothes. Just like all of the other males, he had shifted tonight, but the pack must've got back before I had arrived.
"You wouldn't dare." I hiss, but my words tremble as my body itself shakes with fright.
"You'd be surprised, bitch." His harsh tone causes me to flinch, and as I take in his strong demeanour and physical appearance, I feel rage begin to boil within my chest, threatening to explode into a furious attack that would ultimately result in my demise.
Come on, Aurora. You can take him. You're fast: he's not. I try to tell myself that it's ok. It's ok. But it's not ok. I would never escape this infinite circle of fear.
Instinct takes over as my legs propel me forwards so quickly that my actions are a blur. I muster all my strength into a single punch, but Titus grabs my fist and squeezes until he hears the disgusting crack of bones.
I can't help it: I scream.
Through the tears and the pain, I scream at the top of my lungs, releasing all the pain, all the anger, all the fear stored within every cell of my body.
And through the pain, I slide my eyes shut and fall to the ground, my hand throbbing as if it had been smacked by a wrecking ball. I grit my teeth, and let out one more yell before the memory subsides, and I slide back into the confines of darkness.
◆◆◆
I'm still screaming when I awake, eyes wet with tears, although the droplets have not formed. The memory still wracks my brain like a cannon, and
I effortlessly wipe my eyes using the bed sheet before anyone can see.
I wipe my sweating palms on the duvet as I take deep breaths, trying to sooth my aching throat. Why did I have to dream about that? Titus was the one person who had single handily ruined my life. Why would I want to recall his actions?
"Aurora." Josh calls softly from behind me, causing me to jump back into the cot once more. "What happened?"
I run a hand through my hair, trying to get a hold of the situation. "It was nothing." I say quietly, although the look he gives me tells me that he knows I'm lying.
"You were screaming, Aura. I think the whole castle heard you." He responds, tucking the sheets around my soaking body. I didn't want to think about how I looked right now, because the sight would be a horrendous brown haired girl with huge, looming black eye bags.
I shake my head, panting loudly as I try to regain my breath. Out of the corner of my eye I see Azra roll over and place a pillow over her head, trying to block out our conversation. "It was a nightmare."
"About who?"
"God, you are so persistent." I scowl, but I didn't have enough energy to follow it up with a snarky comment.
Josh nods, accepting my state. "Well, tell me if you need anything." He slowly peels himself from my double bed, and heads back to his own.
But as soon as he leaves, my body begins to shiver with dread and anxiety. When Josh was there, sitting with me, his presence made me feel safe. For some reason, I needed him. No. I craved him to stop the panic streaking through my blood vessels.
Just before Josh makes himself comfortable in his bed, I call out for him, my own voice surprising me as it slices through the silence. "Josh, wait."
He turns and studies me, my wolf senses picking out his handsome face in the dark room. Even now, it was easy to see that he had removed his shirt, and stood with his six pack exposed.
"Yes?" He murmurs softly.
"Can you stay with me, please?" I plead. Every brain cell was yelling at me not to let this stranger into my bed, but he soothed me. I needed him to stop the nightmares.
Josh nods once with a smile. "Always."
He crosses over to my bed and takes the other side, stroking my hair once more as I settle down to get the rest I needed to make it through the rest of the competition.
"Thank you." I whisper like a severe breeze in winter.
As he continues to carefully play with my hair, I feel my eyes droop and my body relax. My sweating ceases, and I am able to fold into sleep before the nightmares parade my vision once more.
After that, the nightmares never threaten to surface again.
6 | Ruptured
❝She wasn't looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword.❞
The next two battles flew past like a fleeting falcon diving through the sky. I had swiftly beaten both of my previous opponents, who were luckily smaller and more fragile than the monster William. I had not killed them either. It was wrong, and I did not want the other werewolves to portray me more as a murderer than I already was.
But the truth is that I am a killer, no matter what. It's as if I have a giant arrow over my head, signalling the horrific deaths I have caused over the past few days, because everyone stares at me intently and quizzically when I walk past. None of them smile, with the exception of Josh and Azra.
And sad thing is I want to kill Titus. He destroyed my life, slaughtered my parents, and tainted me. The mental consequences I never thought possible, were something I thought I could withstand. Now, I realise taking a life haunts you forever. I will never be ok with it, but I have to live with my terrible decisions for the rest of my life, carrying them like a crushing rock weighed on my shoulders. If I lose my balance, I will fall.
I scan the stands circling me, spotting the glaring azure eyes I was so used to. There, in the swarm of onlookers, stood my friend with a black eye and bruising around her neck.
Yesterday, Damien had beaten Azra in no more than two minutes. He had strangled her until she went unconscious, but he had luckily let her go before her life disappeared altogether.
Despite her anger after waking up, Azra had settled for defeat. She accepted the fact that she had lost to the strongest opponent left in the competition.
As the wind howls past my face, pushing the loose strands of my brunette hair behind me eyes, I look across the vast expanse of the battlefield towards my opponent. Whereas I had hoped to come up against Josh or Azra once during the competition, luck had not been on my side. It was as if we were repelling opposites.
With the ancient sword nestled in my grip, the brittle metal touching my skin, I squint my eyes at my opponent. Of all people, they had to pair me with Titus, the deliverer of all my pain. The one who single handily ruined my life by uttering a few words. The one who killed my parents.
With all the suffering and resentment boiling in my veins, one thing was clear: one of us had to die. And it wouldn't be me.
Apart from Azra being violently barged out of the Alpha Trials, Josh had managed to succeed and win his previous two battle to face Damien in the semi-final. I hoped with all my soul that he won, because going up against Damien would break me. I had fought him once, and even that one time was too much for my body to handle.
I blink away my trance, the battlefield drowning in a dull, hazy yellow regaining my attention. The meters between me and my opponent span out into kilometres, both of us at different ends of the universe. He was down in hell while I was on the ground, determined to slay my demons one by one, starting with Titus.
"You afraid, Rogue?" Titus snarls, the harsh whisper blowing across the hundreds of thousands of yards until it reaches my ears.
Everyone seriously had to stop calling me rogue. I had told them my name, and I did not appreciate being associated with the true bloodthirsty beast. I was a rogue, but I wasn't a true rogue. I thought that I had made that clear already.
I raise my chin, sword clenched so tightly in my grip, I'm afraid that I'm going to leave an imprint of my hand. "No," I say to my opponent defiantly, feet apart as I try to prove to him that I was strong. Hadn't the defeat of William shown that?
I was a little bit scared that I would not win, but my vengeance was bone deep, and I was sure that the raw emotions buried inside me wouldn't let me die by the hand of the devil.
"Fight one, Round four of the Alpha Trials. The match will last until one of you is unable to continue," The guard states in a bored tone before bringing down his arm, marking the beginning of the fight.
I gulp as Titus grins at me, clearly confident that he was going to win the fight. Could anyone get any cockier? The answer was yes: Damien.
The beginning of the fight was fast paced as Titus took the first move, sprinting towards me at full pelt, the meters disappearing to centimetres until he was right in front of me. His giant shadow consumed my body as he brought down his sword in an almighty swing.
I meet his weapon with my own, the metallic clang the only sound rebounding off the walls of the arena. I block out the crowd and the ground beneath my feet, only concentrating on my opponent in front of me. All that exists in this world is the swords in our grasps and our bodies as we float through infinity.
No one can touch us. We exist on the tipping point. If I let my sword slip even a millimetre, then we will crash and fall out of the tranquil empty space we have created, and I will lose.
"I will tear you limb from limb and make your death slow and painful, you disgusting rogue," Titus growls as I feel my arms begin to ache as I continue to hold down his sword.
I raise my nose as I hear a hiss form on my lips. "I'm no true rogue. You know that more than anyone."
Titus finally releases the grip on his sword and staggers back a few yards, the arena falling back into position, the gritty sand still below my footwear.
I glance around as we take a breather, my muscles aching from the few seconds of battle. God, how had I ever allowed myself to become so weak?
"You thought that
shifting she-wolves were bad," I point out as I desperately think of something to say. "But here I am, in line to possibly become the next ruler of this kingdom. She-wolves were never bad. You just wanted to pack for yourself."
Titus points his finger at me, his face scrunched with fury. "Don't you dare test me, rogue. I will just make it more painful for you."
"I'm not testing you," I mutter impatiently, my muscles finally feeling ready to battle once more. "I'm speaking the truth." Titus raises an eyebrow in fake confusion. "You knew you could never win against my father, so what better way to become Alpha than spread my secret and pretend that it was a curse? You knew that it was a gift. But you knew it would earn you the pack.
THE ROGUE WOLF Page 6