Surprise Delivery

by Susan Mallery

  “Thanks, Heather, but I can’t. As you said, it’s late. I still have some work to catch up on before I can go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. Bye.”

  He was gone. She stared at the receiver, not quite able to believe that he’d hung up on her. Just like that. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but she didn’t like it. There had been something odd about his voice. Something that made her wonder if there was a problem between them.

  Had their becoming lovers changed everything? Had they crossed that line and was there no going back? Or was it something else? Was it about Brian and what he’d faced? Had Brian’s fears mirrored Jim’s own until he felt compelled to run and hide from her?

  Was this the secret she’d been searching for? Was this the reason Jim had never married or even been seriously involved with a woman? Fear of his past? Fear that he wouldn’t be enough?

  And how on earth was she supposed to be able to break through that particular barrier? Flo had said he was worth fighting for. Heather agreed. But there wouldn’t be much of a battle if one of the participants refused to show up.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “You’re avoiding me,” Heather said nearly two weeks later as she and Jim settled on her sofa. They had just enjoyed their first dinner together since the night they’d made love. “At first I thought you just weren’t speaking to me, but then it became pretty obvious you were avoiding me completely.”

  She’d practiced half a dozen opening lines, some funny, some charming, but in the end had decided on the truth. It had taken her a couple of days to figure out what was going on. In the trauma of dealing with the aftermath of Brian’s arrest and having the police search the hangar, it had been easy to let everything else go. But then she’d realized that the easy companionship she’d taken for granted had disappeared so completely it was as if it had never been.

  She couldn’t believe Jim had changed so much. Then she’d noticed him watching her when he thought she wasn’t looking. There had been something almost lost in his vulnerable gaze, and that unnamed, but pain-filled expression had persuaded her to step back and get a little perspective on the situation.

  Obviously, making love had been the catalyst for this change between them. There had been a fundamental shift in how they thought about each other and now they had two choices. They could either accept the change and go on from there, or they would have to work very hard to return to where they’d been before. Heather couldn’t decide what she wanted, but after a while that had ceased to matter. What was most important was that she’d lost a special friendship in her life. First she had to find out if there was a way to get it back.

  Jim angled toward her on the sofa. His gaze settled on her face and he studied her as if seeing her for the first time. She stared at his strong jawline, the firm yet tender mouth, the expressive eyes and dark hair. As she catalogued features that had become both familiar and dear, she wondered what she was going to do if he told her he didn’t want to be friends anymore. Her life, which had recently seemed so satisfying and abundant, would grow a little smaller and colder.

  She thought he might be angry, but instead he smiled at her. “I see you don’t believe in polite conversation first,” he said. “You just jump straight to the point.”

  “Our dinner was one of polite conversation.”

  “I suppose it was.” He drew in a breath. “You’re right. I have been avoiding you. It wasn’t the most intelligent or sensitive way to handle the situation, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

  At least she hadn’t been imagining things. “Because we made love.” She wasn’t asking a question.

  He nodded. “We both agreed that it was a onetime thing and that nothing else would change, but it’s not that simple.” He grimaced. “I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I want to be with you again. But I know that would screw everything up and our relationship is too important to me. I want you in my life. I want us to be friends, and yet I don’t want to hurt you. Until I could figure out how to make it work, it somehow seemed easier to avoid you.” He reached out and touched her hand. “That was selfish and shortsighted. I’m sorry.”

  She didn’t answer him right away, mostly because she couldn’t decide what issue to address first. He couldn’t stop thinking about their being together? Her heart fluttered in her chest. She had the same problem. Memories were keeping her up nights and she couldn’t afford to lose the sleep. She was also wrestling with the issue of maintaining their friendship.

  She wanted to move close to him and hug him. She wanted to beg him to make love with her. She wanted to make him promise that, no matter what, he would never again disappear from her life.

  “Thank you for being honest,” she said at last. “I was afraid you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. I was afraid you wanted me out of your life.”

  “Never.” His fingers curled around her wrist. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

  It was one of those rare statements that rang with sincerity. She sensed he was being completely honest. He genuinely was more concerned with her feelings than his own. She felt a flood of warm contentment flow through her.

  “You couldn’t,” she assured him.

  His gaze narrowed. “You’re wrong, Heather. I could hurt you very much, even though I don’t want to. Please remember that. Whatever happens, I’ll never hurt you on purpose.”

  She shivered involuntarily. “What does that mean?”

  “Just what I said.”

  But before she could pursue that line of questioning, Diane began fussing in her playpen. Jim rose and gathered her to him.

  “How’s my best little girl?” he asked as he cradled her in his arms. Her restlessness quieted instantly. “Feeling better?”

  Diane had spent the past several days battling an ear infection.

  “The doctor says she’s doing great,” Heather said. “Apparently, a lot of kids get this, but she doesn’t seem prone, thank goodness. But all the medicine and sleeplessness has messed up her schedule just after we’d gotten back on track.”

  “That’s all right. You’ll start another schedule, won’t you, sweet cheeks?”

  His voice was low, soft, and to Heather at least, very seductive. Or maybe it was just the sight of this tall, strong man holding a small baby in his arms. Jim gazed at Diane with all the love and devotion of a father, and in many ways, that’s what he was whether he realized it or not.

  “Pretty, pretty girl,” he said to Diane as he carried her around the room. “You are so lucky. You’re going to have a wonderful life. When you’re six or seven, you’ll have a bike and suddenly you’ll be able to go places. Having your own wheels is a very cool thing. When you’re ten, you can have a horse, and by the time you’re thirteen, you’ll be a beauty just like your mother.”

  Heather opened her mouth to say she hoped her daughter would be much more attractive, then closed it. There was no point in sharing her insecurities about her own appearance with a man who would never, by virtue of his gender, understand.

  “All the boys will have crushes on you,” he went on. “I can tell. You’re going to be a heartbreaker.”

  “Did you have a crush on a girl when you were thirteen?” she asked.

  He looked at her and shrugged. “No. I didn’t discover girls until a couple of years later, although most of my friends had by that age.”

  “You don’t strike me as a late bloomer.”

  “I wasn’t, but at thirteen I didn’t have time to be a kid. I was too busy taking care of my mother.”

  He continued to croon to Diane, then said he would put her to bed for the night.

  Heather nodded weakly. She couldn’t speak. She’d heard the truth before and thought she’d understood what he was saying, but now she realized that, until this exact minute, she hadn’t absorbed the reality of all that Jim had been through.

  There were no secrets to Jim Dyer. She’d seen through to his soul. She knew his demons and how they preyed upon him and he
was still the best man she’d ever known. He was everything that he appeared to be—warm, loving, caring…and terrified that it was never going to be enough. He lived in fear that he wouldn’t be able to fix whatever problems life gave him in his personal relationships, so he avoided them rather than fail again. Because to him, failure meant death. First the death of his mother, then the death of his child.

  She walked into her bedroom and turned on the lamp. After pulling back the covers, she took off her clothes, then waited.

  It only took a few minutes for Jim to settle Diane. He walked out into the hall and glanced into her room. She stood naked in the soft lamplight. He stopped as suddenly as if he’d run into a wall and just stared. She might have been scared…okay, she was scared, but the bulge in his trousers told her that she hadn’t completely misjudged the situation.

  “I need you,” she said quietly. “Please make love with me.”

  His own need had become a tangible beast. Jim could feel its hot breath on the back of his neck. How the hell was he supposed to resist her? Even in a potato sack, Heather would be tempting enough to lead a saint astray, but now, naked and vulnerable, she was irresistible. Especially to him.

  He told himself it was a mistake. He told himself this was a place he couldn’t afford to go. Once he made love to her again, there was no going back. He would lose himself in her and then he would be lost forever. But he couldn’t resist her. Perhaps she’d been sent to him as a test. If so, he was going to fail, but in the most glorious way possible.

  He crossed to her in three long strides, then drew her into his arms and kissed her. There were so many sensations, each better than the last. He savored the taste of her sweet mouth and the way she opened to welcome him. Her tongue brushed against his, sending pleasure jolting through him. Her body was soft, warm and yielding. He traced familiar curves along her back, her sides and her rear. He cupped her and she surged against him, pressing her belly against his arousal.

  He wanted her more than he had before. This time he knew what kind of paradise awaited him between her legs. He knew how tight and wet she could be, how she could start to climax well before he was ready and that each ripple of her release would bring him closer until he plunged into her, spilling himself, feeling her muscles contract again and again around him. He knew how they would hold on to each other in the aftermath as their breathing returned to normal. He knew how an unnamed emotion would tease at the corners of his mind, tempting him with the one thing he could never have. He knew how he would have to leave her and that the leaving would nearly bring him to his knees.

  Even knowing what it would cost him later, even knowing that the sensible thing would be to walk away, he couldn’t. Perhaps if she hadn’t been naked. No, that wouldn’t have been enough. Perhaps if they hadn’t been alone together in the house. Was that the real reason he’d been avoiding her? That having once made love with her, he couldn’t be with her again without needing that intimacy as much as he needed to breathe?

  The answer didn’t matter, he decided, giving himself over to the sensation of her slenderness in his arms. She was here and she wanted him. If he died later, so be it.

  Her eager fingers tugged at the buttons of his shirt. He let her unfasten them as he kissed her jaw, then moved to lick the inside of her perfect ear. She giggled against his chest as she wrestled with the buttons.

  “I can’t concentrate when you do that,” she said.

  “Is that so bad?”

  “Yes.”

  He paused long enough to shed his shirt, jeans, boots, socks and underwear. Then he was as naked as she was.

  He put his hands on her waist and urged her to lie down. But when she lay on her back, he told her to turn over.

  “What are you going to do to me?” she asked as she settled her head on her folded arms and looked at him through the curtain of her blond hair.

  “Nothing you won’t like,” he promised.

  Her more subtle curves were still new to him, and while he’d always found joy in the softness of breasts, hips and buttocks, there was an ethereal beauty in Heather’s slightness. Other men might not take the time to notice the perfect porcelain quality of her skin or the fact that her small breasts were exquisitely sensitive. She was his prize…his princess…and he was grateful for her generosity in allowing him to be with her.

  He straddled her thighs, then bent over and pushed her hair away from the back of her neck. Then he kissed the tender curve and felt her catch her breath.

  “That tickles,” she whispered. “But in a good way. Don’t stop.”

  If he had his way, he would never stop, he thought as he kissed and nibbled and licked down her spine. He ran his hands along her sides, the long, smooth strokes a counterpoint to the shivery touch of his mouth and tongue. When he reached her waist, he shifted so that he could lick the backs of her knees. She started suddenly and gave a tiny scream. He pinned her with his greater weight and strength so she could only wriggle but not escape.

  “Jim, please.”

  “Stop?”

  “No. Never. I want…” He gently bit her rear and her breath caught. Her sentence died in an exhale of delight. “What are you doing to me?”

  Making you mine. But he didn’t say that. He just turned her over and went to work on her ankles.

  From toes to thighs, he touched and licked and kissed until she was tossing her head and begging him to stop, not to stop, to please just touch her there. But he didn’t. He avoided the heat and sweetness of her, even though the very thought of it made him throb. If she even brushed against him, he would have exploded against her, spilling himself like a seventeen-year-old boy. Tasting and smelling her, learning what made her moan and cry out and sigh was the most perfect experience of his life. He wanted to know all of her. He wanted to know her better than anyone ever had before. He wanted to learn the details, the tiny, nearly insignificant things that would make her come apart in his arms.

  When he’d discovered all he could about her legs, he shifted so he could kiss her mouth. As his lips pressed against hers, she wrapped her arms around him and hauled him close. She was insistent. She attacked, plunging inside him, nipping him, pulling him closer and slipping one leg between his so she could rub herself against his thigh.

  She was wet and hot and all things wonderful. He wanted to bury himself inside her right then, but it was too soon. He wanted more for her.

  So he broke the kiss and licked his way down to her belly, then lower to the dark blond curls, damp and glistening with desire. Her legs fell open in anticipation.

  “I in no way take responsibility for anything I’m about to say,” she said, her voice low and breathless. “I know it’s going to be incredible. Just please catch me when I fall.”

  “Always,” he promised, and pressed his tongue against her most sensitive point.

  Her upper body came up off the bed and she gave a strangled moan. He loved that tiny place, circling it, licking around it in a slowly steady rhythm. She tasted salty and sweet, so uniquely herself. He could feel the muscles in her legs clenching and unclenching. It was as if he was connected to her and could feel what she felt. He knew how fast, how often, and even before she thought how much she would like it, he slipped a single finger inside her and pressed up.

  He stroked her from the inside with a rhythm matching what he did with his tongue. The response was instant. Her entire body clenched, then released in a series of spasms as she climaxed. Her feminine core clamped down on his fingers, contracting over and over, drawing him in, massaging him. He continued to lick that tiny bud, moving faster and lighter until she sagged back against the bed in consummate surrender.

  When she was finally still, he moved until he was next to her. She turned into his arms and he held her close. Several more shudders rippled through her and she breathed his name with each one.

  “Not bad,” she said at last.

  He chuckled. “Now there’s an endorsement. Would you be willing to say it was nic
e?”

  “Very nice. It was as if you knew what I was feeling even before I did, then responded to that.”

  “I did.”

  He hoped she wouldn’t ask him to explain it because he didn’t have any answers. It had never happened to him before and he doubted it would happen again.

  Her warm hand brushed against his chest and moved lower until she encircled him. She propped her chin on his shoulder and looked into his face. “I want to do to you what you did to me. The kissing all over your body, the touching. It was incredible. But I read this article.”

  He was having trouble concentrating on her words, especially when her fingers were teasing the top of his erection, circling around the sensitive head and running up and down the length. “Uh-huh.”

  “The article said that once a man thinks he’s going to have sex, all he cares about is his…” She paused delicately. “His, well, organ being inside the woman. That if there is any foreplay for him, it’s this voice in his head screaming, ‘Touch it, touch it, touch it.’ Is that true?”

  Despite how much he wanted to be inside her, he had to grin. “That about sums it up.”

  She sighed. “I was afraid of that. So I won’t bother with all that unnecessary kissing and nibbling. I’ll just tell you that I want you inside me right now.”

  She turned toward her nightstand and pulled out a condom, then opened the package. He fumbled with the protection, his need making his fingers tremble. Then she was on her back with her legs spread and he was entering her, nearly gasping at her wet heat and the way he fitted her so perfectly.

  His tension increased by the second. “I’m too close,” he gasped.

  “It’s okay. Just go for it.”

  Her choice of words made him smile. “Not yet.”

  Even though his entire body screamed in protest, he pulled out of her and rubbed himself against her pleasure point. Her breath caught instantly. She pulled her knees back, and when he slipped she moved him so that his steady strokes hit just the right spot. Then she was pushing him inside her. As he entered, he felt the first ripple of her release.