“I know that she believes Zoi should be queen. But she has wanted to see one of her children on the throne even before Ceren became what he is. It can’t simply be about birthright. Shouldn’t what’s best for the people matter most?”
“I’m surprised you of all people would question my mother’s motives,” Talin said. “She grew up under Ilarean rule, just like you did. She wants to make sure her people are safe. And she wants a peaceful Ilara.”
I could understand that, of course. It was the same thing I wanted. But there was a part of me that feared Talia had lost sight of her true aim. She was so focused on the throne she could no longer see all the people she would damage on her way to seizing it.
Rather than press the point with Talin, I said a half-hearted goodbye and stepped out into the night. Most people were celebrating Talia’s victory as I passed through the camp, but I went straight back to my tent to talk to Adriel. She was in her bed, trying to sleep but clearly frustrated by all the noise outside.
“Do you remember the vision I had in Riaga?” I asked her as I perched on the edge of her bed.
She sat up and glanced at my neck. “Of course.”
“Ceren wasn’t drinking my blood in that vision. I think it happened because my own blood was being spilled.”
She arched an eyebrow. “And?”
“He looked completely worn out and exhausted, as I told you. And that was before the battle. I have a feeling he’s out of blood.”
“Good. That should make him easier to defeat.”
“It should also make him desperate to get more of my blood.”
She eyed me suspiciously. “What are you suggesting, Nor?”
“Talin only believes diplomacy won’t work with Ceren because he isn’t willing to give up the one thing Ceren wants.”
Adriel folded her arms across her chest and stared at me. “You mean you, don’t you?”
My doubts about this plan had plagued me since I arrived at Talia’s camp. If I was wrong, I could foil her plans and put the Varenians in more danger. Even if I was right, I would still be forced to confront the source of so much fear and pain. How could I trust myself now, when every big decision I’d made leading up to this point felt like a mistake?
“I’m so lost, Adriel. I wish I had a compass to guide me.”
“You do, Nor.” She smiled and pointed to the center of my chest. “And as far as I can tell, it has never led you astray.”
* * *
We moved camp the next day, thousands of us packing up and crossing the distance to Old Castle. It was heavily guarded by Talia’s strongest troops, the ones who were actually trained soldiers. Some of us were moved into the castle itself, while the vast majority camped in tents outside the castle walls.
Old Castle had once been filled with nobles and royalty, but that had been decades ago, and it looked like what it had been for the interim: a garrison, mostly. The rooms we were given were full of faded furniture and dust. Those who couldn’t fight were tasked with making the place habitable, but there was only so much that could be done.
Adriel and I were given a room together since Zadie was with Sami. I hadn’t seen Talin after our argument, and I hated parting on bad terms. But I hadn’t been invited to any of the war council’s meetings, and neither had Grig and Osius. I could only assume that Talia’s plans remained unchanged, and for now, so did mine.
I went in search of the rescued Varenians as soon as we were settled. I didn’t know any of them well, but it was good to see familiar faces. One, a girl who had been in our choosing ceremony, seemed eager to speak with me. I invited her to have tea with Zadie and me, hoping she might be able to tell us something I could use in the coming days.
Blaise sipped her tea carefully. She’d had poor vision from birth, and therefore couldn’t dive for the bloodstones, which was why she was at Old Castle and not the mines. “The Ilareans who came for us had swords and arrows,” she said, bringing back painful memories of that day for all of us. “A few men fought back, but they were killed immediately. After that, everyone went into the boats willingly.”
“Was anyone left behind?” Zadie asked.
“A few people hid, I think. Some of the elders, and maybe a few of the youngest children. But almost everyone was taken, as far as I know.”
I wasn’t sure which fate was worse, to be a prisoner in New Castle, or to be left behind without food or water. “What happened when you were on the ship?”
“They chained the men and the strongest women. The rest of us stayed with our families. A man put those bloodstones on anyone who resisted, and it was like it turned them into sleepwalkers. Those with the jewels did everything they were told then, and the rest of us just went along with them. We were scared we’d be killed otherwise.”
“The man who put the bloodstones on the others. Was it Prince Ceren?” I asked.
Blaise shuddered. “He had long white hair and the palest skin I’ve ever seen.”
“That was him. Did he talk to anyone?”
“Not that I saw. He kept mostly to himself, I think. He didn’t tell us anything until we got to Old Castle. Once we arrived, most of us were weak and dehydrated, but he divided us into those who could dive and those who couldn’t. The others were taken away within a few hours. We’ve had no word of them since.”
“Your family?” I asked.
“They were all taken. Do you know if they’re all right?”
I sighed. “I wish we did. I’m afraid we have very little information about the rest of the Varenians. Our parents are there as well.”
“You’re going to save them, right?”
Zadie and I exchanged a glance. “We’re going to try.”
Blaise was quiet for a while, then turned to Zadie. “My mother said Nor scarred you so she could go to Varenia in your place. She said we shouldn’t trust Nor, that she’s wicked. But I saw you two throughout the choosing ceremony. You clearly love each other so much.” She looked at me again. “Why would you ever want to hurt your sister?”
Zadie placed a gentle hand over Blaise’s. “I made Nor help me so that I wouldn’t have to leave Varenia. It was the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.”
I shook my head. “Zadie—”
“I’ve waited a long time to have someone finally want to hear the truth,” she said to me before turning back to Blaise. “I told myself I was doing it to help my sister, too, because she wanted to go to Ilara. And maybe if I’d managed to do it myself, I could have made that true. But I was weak, and I made her help me against her will.” Zadie dropped her gaze to her empty cup as she spoke. “If anyone should have been punished, it was me. I thought sacrificing my beauty was the bravest thing I could have done, but I should have done it long before the ceremony.”
“But then someone else would have had to marry that awful Ceren,” Blaise said.
I took my sister’s hand. “And nothing would have changed. We’d still be dying of thirst and starvation. Ceren would have finished his devices and forced the Varenians to dive. You did what you believed was right at the time, and no one can fault you for that.”
Zadie blinked, releasing tears onto her cheeks. “You always see the best in people, Nor. I wish you could do the same for yourself.”
I smiled and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. “I’m trying.”
* * *
Late that night, Adriel was lying back on her bed, reading, when she suddenly let out a startled shout. She’d fallen asleep, and the book had landed square on her nose.
“Are you all right?” I asked, trying not to laugh at the disgruntled look on her face.
“I told you this book was dangerous,” she said, rubbing the bridge of her freckled nose. Her eyes narrowed as she squinted at something on the page the book had fallen open to. “Wait. Did we read this before?”
“We’ve read every pa
ge in that book at least three times, Adriel.”
“Maybe it’s because I was just hit in the head with a heavy object, but this looks different to me. ‘To break a bond that blood has made, the price must once again be paid. Drink the blood of both as one, until the magic is undone.’”
“You have to drink our blood?” I asked, sitting up. “That can’t be right. Wouldn’t that just bind you to both of us?”
“Not if I say the right spell, apparently. But I would have to have Ceren’s blood to do it. If we’re close enough to Ceren to get his blood, that means we’re close enough to kill him and put all this to an end.”
“Not necessarily,” I said. “In the vision I had during the storm, Ceren was bleeding himself. It’s possible he has blood already available for the taking.”
“That would require sneaking into New Castle. We’ve already determined that’s impossible.”
“We have three days until Talia attacks New Castle. Thousands will die, and there’s a very strong possibility Ceren will come out victorious. It seems to me it’s worth at least trying to talk with him. If we send out an emissary to negotiate, someone he’s unlikely to harm—”
“Talin will never allow it, Nor.”
“No,” I conceded. “But his mother might. I have to at least ask.”
“You can’t go behind his back like that. You’d be pitting him against not only you, but his mother as well. He’ll feel like you’ve betrayed his trust. You will have!”
“I know,” I sighed. I understood that trying to fix everything on my own was not necessarily the right way to do things, but I also hadn’t heard an alternative other than all-out war. “Ceren won’t kill me, not if he wants my blood. If there’s any chance I can reason with him, I have to try.”
I pulled on a robe and stepped into the hallway. The castle was dark at this time of night, with a few soldiers posted in the halls, but they knew me by now. I walked toward the wing where Talin and his mother were staying. The soldiers would probably assume I was on my way to see Talin, but I was beyond the point of caring.
I passed his room and found the largest chamber at the end of the hall, guarded by two armed men.
“I need to speak to Queen Talia,” I said. “It’s a matter of urgency.”
“The queen is sleeping,” one of the men replied.
“It can’t wait until morning,” I insisted.
They looked at each other. “Wait here,” one man said as he disappeared into the chambers. He returned a few moments later and gestured for me to enter. Talia wasn’t sleeping, as it turned out. She was poring over a map while her daughter slept soundly in their large bed.
“I’m sorry to disturb you,” I said as quietly as I could. “I didn’t realize Zoi was here.”
“She hasn’t wanted to leave my side lately.” Talia looked at her daughter and sighed. She wore a simple nightgown, her hair pulled back in a braid, looking more like the mother I imagined Talin had grown up with than the warrior queen she’d become.
“That’s probably natural,” I said. “She must worry about you.”
“It’s all too much for a small child, I know. I would have left her back in the south if I’d trusted anyone to protect her as well as I can.” She rolled up the map and gestured for me to sit in the chair across from her. “What can I do for you at this hour, Nor?”
I took a deep, steadying breath. “I’d like your permission to attempt to speak with Ceren tomorrow. I know it’s unlikely he’ll be willing to discuss surrender, but I think it’s worth trying.”
“My son would never allow it,” Talia said, echoing Adriel. “And while I may not approve of his relationship with you, I also won’t go behind his back.”
“You don’t approve?”
Her head tilted, a sympathetic smile on her lips. “You’re both so young.”
“No younger than you were when you married.”
“That wasn’t by choice. And as much as I hate to say it, I’m afraid Talin may not be free to choose, either. To strengthen Ilara, Talin will need to marry a princess from another kingdom. Otherwise we’ll remain as weak as we’ve been for centuries.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You married into the royal family,” I said. “Your lineage is no better than mine.”
“Of course not. But look where that got us. I’m fortunate my children grew up healthy, given how weak their father was, but we need to make ties with other kingdoms to improve our standing in the world. Kuven, perhaps, might have a suitable match for my son.”
Seeing Zoi on the throne was never going to be enough for her, I realized. She wanted power, just like every other Ilarean royal. The echoes of the Varenian origin story—of Princess Ilara, being forced to marry a neighboring ruler for power and wealth, rather than the prince she loved—were so strong she couldn’t fail to see them. “Talin will never forgive you if you force him into a marriage he doesn’t want.”
She was quiet for a moment. “I’ll make a deal with you, child. I’ll allow you to meet with Ceren tomorrow, with a dozen soldiers to protect you, behind my only son’s back.”
“If?”
“If you promise to let him go.”
I shrank back at her words. I wasn’t sure I was ready for marriage, but I also wasn’t ready to bargain away my future with Talin. “I can’t make that promise. I won’t.”
“I know I’m asking a lot of you. It’s clear to me that you love him. But do you really want to spend the rest of your life as a royal wife, with no real freedom of your own?”
I flinched involuntarily, and she eagerly seized on my weakness.
“Any girl who dares what you have dared, who risks everything for the possibility of adventure, isn’t going to be happy spending her time in a cage, no matter how beautiful it may be.”
“Talin wouldn’t ask that of me,” I whispered, my eyes pricking with tears.
“Talin will do what it takes to ensure his kingdom’s future.” She reached out for my hand. I was too stunned to stop her. “Sleep on it. If we’re going to arrange a meeting with Ceren, it needs to be tomorrow.” She glanced at Zoi, who had slept soundly through our conversation. “Let me know your decision by noon tomorrow, Nor. Otherwise we’ll have no choice but to attack New Castle, and once the battle has begun, I can’t guarantee that anyone will be safe.”
25
I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night, but I didn’t go to Talin, either. How could I force him to choose between his mother and me when he’d risked so much to get both of us back?
I woke Zadie before dawn and asked her to come speak with me in the courtyard. I needed her advice before I made any decisions.
“You can’t go through with this, you know.” Zadie watched me as I picked up a pebble from the gravel courtyard and threw it as hard as I could. It bounced harmlessly off a stone wall, as ineffective as I would be if I went up against Talia.
“I can’t just let Talia attack New Castle, not when there’s even the slightest chance that I can prevent it.”
“Talin will be crushed by the betrayal. And besides, it isn’t safe.” Zadie wore a new gown that Ebb had found for her, and her hair was braided in one of the intricate styles she’d worn back in Varenia. I couldn’t help noticing that she looked more herself than I’d ever seen her.
I’d settled for a simple dress with split skirts and a soft corset. Gowns felt restrictive and wrong, but I didn’t feel right strutting around in riding leathers like a Galethian. At least I could ride or run, if I had to.
“Talia said she’d send a dozen of her soldiers with me. I can’t imagine even Ceren would attack an emissary on the battlefield.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Can’t you?”
I threw another pebble, wishing I could shut out my emotions for once. Every time I tried to imagine Ceren as I’d seen him in our last face-to-face encount
er, bloodied and raging in the crypt, all I could visualize was Ceren as a child, sitting alone in a room full of broken toys.
“Talk to Talin, Nor. Tell him what you’re planning. Going behind his back and making secret deals with his mother will only drive a wedge between you. If you love him as much as I think you do, trust me on this.”
“I’m not even sure he wants to talk to me,” I said. “We fought the other night, and I’ve barely seen him since.”
She touched my arm gently. “Nor, people fight, and the people we love the most fight the hardest because they care the most.” She took the last pebble from my hand and dropped it on the ground. “Which is why I will fight you tooth and nail before I let you do something foolish tomorrow.”
I shrugged away from her touch. “I have no idea what you mean.”
She took my face in her hand and turned it toward her. “I have known you since you took your first breath. Do you really think I don’t know when you’re scheming?”
I batted her hand away, but it was half-hearted. “If I tell you, you’ll never let me go.”
“You think I’ll let you go if you don’t tell me? Please, Nor. If you’re going to do something foolish, at least one person should be in on it. Otherwise, there won’t be anyone to help you when the whole thing goes awry.”
We glared at each other for a long moment before I finally broke. “Oh, very well. But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially Talin.”
* * *
Zadie and I had talked for over an hour, and by the end of our conversation, we were both in tears. But we had a plan, and, admittedly, it was a better one than mine had been. Still, Zadie made me swear to tell Talin that I was going to see Ceren, and because she didn’t trust me, she arranged the meeting herself.
The library was as deserted as the rest of the castle, the furniture covered in dust sheets, the leather book bindings cracked and dry. I ran my fingers over the spines absently, my mind too focused on what I’d say to Talin to appreciate the titles. A clock chimed ten times somewhere, and I began to fear he wouldn’t come. I paced the length of the room, worrying at my lip with my teeth.
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