ON THE LAST NIGHT BEFORE THE TRIP BACK TO Kansas, all the campers sat around the campfire, reliving the amazing experience they had on The River that day. Most were exhausted and ready to go home. Others, like Gabriel, wanted to stay.
His day of river rafting had taken him to another world. The River had captured Gabriel in a special way, and he wasn’t alone.
“Did you see how high Stink flew out of the boat at Widowmaker?” Jimmy slapped his thigh in laughter.
“Apollo 11 to the moon,” said Rollie. “We’re talking sky-high.”
Stink quietly stood up and took a gangly butler’s bow. “At your service,” he quipped, and everyone laughed some more. The conversations and story-swapping went on into the wee hours of the morning, their faces illuminated by the light of the fire.
By two thirty a.m., all the tired campers had finally turned in. . . except for Gabriel. His head was spinning from everything he had experienced in a few short days. His body was numb with fatigue, but his mind raced. He got up and moved to an old log next to The River. He thought about the stirring of the water. . . the white red-tailed hawk. . . the healing encounter on The River. Jumping off the rock at Mansion Turn with the girl who had stolen his heart, as well as riding the big water, had opened up a whole new world for him.
Nothing compares to what I’ve experienced here. How can I go back to my dead-end job after this?
“How come you aren’t asleep yet? Aren’t you exhausted?” Tabitha put her hand on his shoulder as she sat down on the log beside him. Gabriel thought she’d gone to sleep in her tent. He was thankful she hadn’t.
“I can’t shut my mind down. We don’t have much time left before we leave in the morning, and I want to take it in a little more.”
“That’s why I’ve stayed here. . . near The River. It’s all I know. It’s all I want to know, really. I never get bored here.” Tabitha stared ahead dreamily. “There’s always a new adventure, something exciting around the next corner. I’m sure I’ll see other places, but I’ll always want to be with The River, wherever I go.”
Tabitha spoke passionately. After a few moments of silence, she moved down to the sand in front of him. She lay back on the beach and looked up at the stars.
“Come down here.” She patted the sand next to her. Gabriel didn’t waste any time. He lay down next to her and looked at the starlit canvas above.
“It’s so clear tonight,” Tabitha said. “Doesn’t it look like there’s some sort of powerful light behind the night sky, like God poked holes in the darkness to give us a small glimpse of what’s on the other side?”
“You see things in such a unique way. . . like no one I’ve ever known.”
“Really? Maybe it’s because most people don’t take time to really see what’s all around them. My mother told me that when I was five years old, I’d walk around holding a pretend camera and take pictures of everything I thought was beautiful. She told me I’d say, ‘I don’t want to forget anything, so I’m taking pictures.’ I guess I’ve really never stopped doing that in a sense. The older you get, though, the easier it is to forget to use the ‘camera.’”
“Wow. That’s amazing. I think I’ve spent most of my life staring at mental pictures of the past. They weren’t good pictures, so maybe I’ve missed some stuff along the way.”
“I think all of us are guilty of that. My mother had a little poem she used to recite:
“Yesterday is gone and you can’t change it.
There are no guarantees for tomorrow, so save it.
The best stuff is now, so live today and don’t dare waste it.”
“Your mother sounds like a pretty special lady.”
“She was. I miss her a lot.”
Gabriel wasn’t sure what to say. After a few moments of silence, he asked, “She’s gone?”
“Yeah. She lost her fight with cancer eight years ago. I was thirteen. She was the most amazing person I’ve ever known.”
Gabriel’s heart sank for her. He couldn’t believe she’d lost a parent too.
Tabitha turned over and propped herself up on her elbows. She reached for a locket hanging around her neck and opened it.
“That’s her.” She held the gold locket up to Gabriel. He sat up and pulled the pendant in close.
“She’s beautiful. You look just like her. What was her name?”
“Alaina—Alaina Fielding. Everybody called her Laney. Her mother—my grandmother—was French. Grandmère told me Alaina meant ‘little rock.’ My mom went through a lot even before her cancer, but she never broke. I think her name reflects her character.”
“So what does Tabitha mean?”
“Oh no. I was afraid you’d ask me that.”
“Come on, tell me.”
“All right, but don’t laugh. It means. . . ‘gazelle.’ I would have preferred something along the lines of ‘noble princess’ or ‘goddess,’ but hey, what can you do?” They both chuckled.
“I don’t know. I think the name suits you. Gazelles are fast, graceful, and visually stunning.” Gabriel couldn’t believe he was being so bold.
Their conversation was interrupted by a strange sound. Tabitha put her hand over her mouth as she saw what it was.
“Oh. My. Gosh.” Tabitha turned the other way.
Gabriel perked up and turned around toward the woods to see what was stirring. “Are you kidding me?” Gabriel started laughing.
There was Cig, staggering and belching intermittently, taking a leak on a tree.
“Thank heaven it’s dark,” Tabitha remarked.
“Yeah, nobody needs to see that,” Gabriel smirked. The two rolled over on their backs and laughed hysterically. After Cig retired to his quarters, Tabitha stood up.
“Come with me. I want to show you something.”
Does this girl ever stop moving?
He got up and brushed the sand off the back of his trousers.
“Here, turn around.” Tabitha helped him with the sand on his backside. Then she grabbed his hand and took him upstream along the beach and into the woods.
“I can’t see anything,” Gabriel said.
“Just follow me.” Tabitha spoke with confidence.
They carved their way through the woods by the light of the moon, dodging branches and stepping on fallen branches and twigs. After several minutes they came to a large rock jutting out into the calm water. They made their way out and sat on the rock, side by side, watching the moonlight reflect off the water with a soft glow.
“I can’t believe this trip is over. I don’t want it to end.” Gabriel looked directly at Tabitha. “These have been an amazing few days.”
“It doesn’t have to end,” she said tenderly.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean rafting season’s just about to start—you could come back for the summer.”
“I have a job in Kansas I have to get back to. My mom is there, and Mister Earl could use my help on the farm.” Gabriel was frustrated.
“We run the rafting operation and a guide-mentoring program all summer long. You could come back and work with me. There’s tons of stuff to do. The adventure camp is full of great people who have a terrific time all summer long. It doesn’t pay much, but you’ll be here, with me. . . at The River.”
But what would happen to his mom? How would Mister Earl survive without the extra hand on the farm? And he’d have to tell Mr. Baggers at the Five & Dime that he was quitting.
But he wanted to be with Tabitha. He wanted to be with The River.
His mind was in a tug of war. This was a crossroads in his life. The River had opened up a whole new world to him. Tabitha seemed too good to be true. A girl who saw past his insecurities and reached out to him with strength and grace.
Yet it was those same insecurities and self-doubt that rose to the surface once again.
“I don’t know. You’ve been with me for only a few days. You may not want me around that much. Besides, I don’t know anything about working at an adventu
re camp.”
“Well. . . it’s up to you. . . but I’m telling you, we would have so much fun. Don’t you want to run The River again? There are so many parts of The River you haven’t seen.”
“I know. I’d love to run it again. . . and again. After today, I don’t think I could ever get enough.”
Tabitha looked deep into his eyes. “Don’t you want to see me again?”
“Of course I do.” This time Gabriel didn’t hesitate to respond as he looked right back into her eyes. “It’s just that—”
Before Gabriel could finish his sentence, she leaned in quickly and kissed him on the lips. Then again. . . longer this time. His heart pounded, and he felt his whole body flush with adrenaline. The way she smelled, the way she tasted. A girl had never kissed him like that before. He didn’t know what to do. He was frozen. Tabitha leaned away and pushed her hair behind her ears. The silence was deafening.
“I’m sorry. . . I just thought. . .” Tabitha couldn’t finish her sentence. “Good night, Gabriel.”
She got up and started to leave.
“Wait!”
She kept walking.
“Tabitha. . . please. Don’t leave yet.”
She paused for a moment and looked back. Her eyes were red and watery. “Good night,” she said.
What did I do? It all happened so fast.
It was four o’clock in the morning. Gabriel sat on the rock, bewildered at what had happened. He had dreamed of a girl like her and a kiss like that. Then he played over and over in his mind why things had ended on such a bad note. He thought about her offer and whether Kansas was still the place for him.
He was still thinking when the sun came up.
A cloud cover and light rain moved into the canyon as they began packing up their tents and gathering their belongings. The cool drizzle seemed to symbolize the sadness of having to leave The River. Jimmy didn’t waste any time corralling his guys to get loaded up and on the road.
“Okay, I think that about does it. Stink, did you get all our pots and pans?”
“Affirmative, sir.” Stink saluted.
Rollie finished saying good-bye to one of the chiquitas he had met on the trip. Their heads looked like they were joined together at the mouth. Cig was in the front seat, leaning back with his hands on his head, moaning from tying one on the night before. Jimmy got in the driver’s seat and slammed the door.
“Ouch! Not so hard, man. My brain is hurting.”
“What’s the matter, Cig? A little tender this morning?”
Stink leaned out the side door of the van.
“Gabriel! Let’s go, man!” He turned to the others. “What’s he doing? Does he not realize it’s raining?”
Gabriel was standing at the water’s edge, staring out over The River. He turned around slowly, pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, and made his way back, looking around the beach for any sign of Tabitha. His heart was heavy.
Surely he would get to say good-bye, but there was no sign of her anywhere. Maybe she had left with one of the first cars when he wasn’t looking. Glancing around the beach one last time, he turned and climbed into Jimmy’s van and shut the door.
Jimmy started the van and put it into gear. “Back to Kansas, boys.” Just as he began to pull out, they heard a banging on the side door.
“Hey! Hold up!” Tabitha shouted.
Gabriel was thrilled to see her. Jimmy stopped the van.
“You can’t leave without saying good-bye,” she said. Gabriel could barely hear her through the closed window because the rain had begun to pick up. He opened the door and hopped out.
“I didn’t know where you were,” he said. Then he realized all the guys were watching.
“Guys, can you give me a minute?” Gabriel asked. He steered Tabitha away from the van.
“I’m sorry about last night. I just. . .”
“It’s okay. But you have to come back, Gabriel. My offer still stands. Come spend the summer with me at The River. Guide Camp starts in two weeks. You won’t regret it.” The rain was dripping down her face.
Tabitha lunged into his arms, and they embraced for several moments, oblivious to the deluge.
After saying good-bye, he wondered if Tabitha. . . and The River. . . were seeing the last of Gabriel Clarke.
He had some big decisions to make.
SIXTEEN
Good-bye and The Journal
GABRIEL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I NEED THOSE soda cases stacked before you get out of here!”
Gabriel knew his daydreaming was a source of frustration for Mr. Baggers. Ever since his arrival back in Cairo a couple of days earlier, he had trouble kicking it into gear at the Five & Dime. He couldn’t get the trip to The River out of his mind. At home, he found himself staring at Miss Collingsworth’s painting and mentally reenacting those amazing days on and off the water.
It was nearly June, and he had only a few days to decide what he was going to do about Tabitha’s invitation. He missed her terribly, but he hadn’t summoned the courage to call her. There was so much to consider and it was driving him crazy.
Returning to his old life wasn’t holding much appeal.
Everything was different. He’d experienced something greater than himself, and he wanted more. This was his destiny. His father’s words echoed in his ears: “We Clarkes, we were made for The River.”
But something was keeping him from taking that step of faith.
“Did you hear me? Are all the sodas packed away?”
Gabriel interrupted his reverie. “All done, Mister B. Can I go now?”
“I guess so.”
Gabriel got into his old Ford step-side and headed back to the farm. It was a warm, lazy Thursday evening in Cairo. He pulled up to the barn where he usually parked his truck. He stepped out and whistled for Rio. Usually his faithful dog ran to meet him at the front of the property, but the last few days he’d been a little slow. Rio loped around the back of the barn with his tongue hanging out.
“Hey, buddy. You feeling all right?” Gabriel knelt down and grabbed him from behind both ears and scratched his head. Rio perked up a bit but still seemed lethargic.
“He might have eaten something he shouldn’t. He’s done that before.” Mister Earl showed up from behind the barn as well.
“He sure doesn’t seem like himself.”
“Well, he is gettin’ up in years. Who knows exactly how old he is.”
“Dinner’s on!” Miss Vonda squawked from the front porch.
“That woman’s voice carries to the next county.” Mister Earl shook his head. Gabriel chuckled. “We better get in there.”
Tonight, dinner was one of Maggie’s favorites—buttermilk fried chicken and biscuits. One of the bright spots of living on the farm all these years was sharing meals and getting to enjoy Miss Vonda’s cooking. Miss Vonda always prepared fresh green beans cooked with bacon and some kind of pie for dessert with this meal.
Maggie was helping set the dining room table when both men arrived. “Did you gentlemen wash up?” she asked as she put the last two glasses of iced tea on the table.
“Yes, ma’am,” the two answered in unison.
The four of them sat down at the painted white farm table. Mister Earl took off his John Deere hat and tossed it toward the sofa, the signal to bow their heads in concert as the older man said grace.
“Lord, we thank thee for this meal. May it nourish our bodies for thy service.”
“Amen,” they chimed together.
The Cartwrights weren’t very religious, but they never missed thanking the good Lord for his bounty and provision whenever they sat down together for a meal.
The sound of serving utensils clanging against the various plates of food filled the dining area. A few minutes into the meal, conversation finally broke out.
Miss Vonda was cutting into her leg of fried chicken when she turned to Gabriel. “Tell us about your trip with those boys. We haven’t seen much of ya, and we’d all like to know. Y
ou stayed out of trouble, didn’t ya?”
“Yeah, honey. I’m dying to hear about it,” Maggie chimed in. She sensed Gabriel’s distance, but he seemed like he was in a good place, so she didn’t want to push things.
“It was a good trip.” Gabriel kept eating, but a huge smile took over his countenance. He couldn’t contain his joy.
A mom’s intuition told her there was more. “You’re not getting off that easy. Your face says it all. Come on! Tell us what happened.” Maggie was excited to see him so happy.
“We camped. . . hiked a little. . . no big deal.”
“You’re hiding something. I know it!” Maggie kept at him as she buttered a biscuit. Mister Earl and Miss Vonda just listened.
“Okay! Okay! I met a girl. It’s no big deal.”
“If it’s no big deal, then tell us about her.”
Gabriel’s face turned red from embarrassment. He sought to change the subject.
“I rafted the big water. That was huge. You can’t imagine the canyons and beauty of The River. At first I didn’t want to do it, but Tabitha convinced me to go. . .”
“Tabitha. . . so that was her name, huh?” Maggie spoke with a jealous smile.
“We jumped together off of a forty-foot cliff into the water. She was in my raft. We went through Class V whitewater, which can be super dangerous. You should have seen Stink fly out of our raft. That was amazing.” The sentences were gushing out of Gabriel’s mouth. It was like he wasn’t coming up for air.
Maggie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. My Gabriel? Making friends with a girl and rafting huge whitewater?
“This girl must be something if she got you to do all of that!”
“It wasn’t just Tabitha. . . even though she was definitely amazing. The River itself was spectacular. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I mean. . . there’s too much to explain. I felt like I came alive or something.”
Gabriel’s passion escalated. “I had these moments where it was like The River spoke to me. I know it sounds weird.” He shook his head. “To feel the thunder of that whitewater lift you through the canyon, and then fifteen minutes later swim in calm, swirling eddies. . . it’s like no other place.”
The River Page 13