Daisy grabbed Jasper’s T-shirt, which she had doused with his cologne, pressed it against her nose, and lost herself in his scent. He’d always smelled so good, felt so warm, tasted so delicious. Daisy’s body tingled. She needed Jasper to fill the void.
“Close your eyes, Daisy,” Jasper’s voice whispered.
“They’re closed.”
“Turn around,” he commanded sensually.
“Okay.”
“You don’t mind, do you?” Jasper asked, placing a blindfold over Daisy’s eyes.
“Anything for you, Jasper. Whatever, however you want.”
“Lie back. Can I touch you? No, let me see you touch yourself. Daisy, show me where and how you want to be touched.”
An intense heat overcame Daisy’s body. Her hands became his hands. She moaned and arched her back as his hand caressed her breasts. The other played in her hair, massaging her scalp. Parting her legs, she begged for him. “Please, Jasper. Please,” she whispered as he traced his finger along the top of her panties, gradually working his way down the V of silk that separated his hand from her flesh. In one swift motion, Daisy lifted her legs and pulled her panties off. She groaned, throbbed, and cried. Jasper’s lovemaking had always made her cry. “So good.” Daisy bit her lip, his touch familiar as he gently prodded her and made his way inside.
“I’ll always love you, Daisy.”
“Tell me you’re mine, Jasper. All mine.”
“I’m yours. Only yours.”
Daisy sat up and looked around. Jasper’s words startled her from her ecstasy. They seemed too lifelike, almost as if he were whispering in her ear. Only yours, she thought as she reached for the remote. She searched frantically, switching between rewind and fast-forward. Daisy became angrier each time she heard Jasper lie. A total of eight times he had told her that he belonged to her alone.
Daisy jumped off the bed and grabbed her robe, hiding her nakedness from Jasper’s ghost. “How could you? How could you lie to me all those years? You loved me, right? Only me?”
Daisy sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed. So many lies, so many half-truths, had shattered her world. Everyone was right; she’d been deceiving herself. Jasper may have been wrong, but she’d been the fool to fall victim to his game.
What happened to me? What happened to Daisy Parker—not Jasper’s Daisy, but Daisy’s Daisy? How could I have been so wrong? How could loving someone so much that you give in completely be a mistake?
“You did this to me, Jasper,” she said out loud. “You took everything from me and gave me nothing but pain and humiliation.”
Deep inside, all those times Jasper hadn’t come home when he was supposed to, she’d known something was wrong. She’d always had a suspicion when Jasper conveniently had to be away most of the holidays. Daisy chided herself for not pushing to meet his family. What kind of man is with you for seven years and doesn’t introduce you to his mother? What kind of fool was I to believe that they didn’t get along, and not even ask why?
Daisy got up, went to wash Jasper’s scent off her.
Daisy set the table while she waited for Ming Li and Gigi to arrive.
The doorbell rang. “Hope you two are hungry,” Daisy sang, opening the door.
“Daisy Parker?” asked a smiling, friendly faced man dressed in a blue suit.
“Yes?”
He handed her an envelope. “Daisy Parker, you have just been served.”
4
Daisy, Ming Li, and Gigi sat around the dining room table eating silently. Daisy pushed her plate away. “What am I going to do now? I’m unemployed, and I’ve just been legally ordered to move out.”
Ming Li wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Good question. What about Jasper’s attorney? He had a lawyer, right?”
Gigi took a sip of chardonnay and dabbed her mouth. “Ming Li, I know where you’re going with this. Do you think…she can’t block the eviction, can she?”
Daisy sighed impatiently. “Can you two speak English, please? What are you talking about?”
Ming Li retrieved her flask from her purse, took a sip, and set it on the table. “If you think about it, Camille is Jasper’s wife—”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Daisy rolled her eyes, tired of being reminded.
“Listen to Ming Li, Daisy.”
“Well?”
“Hear me out before you snap. I know you’re tired of being reminded about Camille and Jasper, but technically, because she is…was his wife, she has legal rights that you don’t. This house, for instance. Because Jasper died, everything he owned in life she owns by his death, even his Escalade. Where is it, anyway? I thought you guys said Marcus left it here.”
“I let him take it to get cleaned up. Jasper’s blood was in it.”
“Marcus doesn’t have Jasper’s SUV. I would’ve seen it. I bet—”
“Camille! He gave it to Camille.” Daisy clenched her teeth.
“Let me finish,” Ming Li said. “Camille owns everything that was his, unless Jasper’s will states otherwise. Let’s not forget about Jay,” she added with a wink.
Gigi laughed. “She can’t overthrow his will, Daisy. Or his heir. Even if Camille has this house, as much money as Jasper had, you know you’re gonna be alright.”
“I hadn’t even thought of that. But…” Daisy held up her eviction notice. “Is this any good? Do I really have thirty days to vacate?”
Ming Li nodded. “Technically.”
“Call his lawyer, Daisy. Do you need me to get the phone? I gotta hear this,” Gigi said.
“Ming Li, give me a sip of whatever you have in that flask first, then I’ll go find the number. I have a feeling it’s stronger than this wine.”
“What’s in that flask, anyway? And how many sips do you take a day?” Gigi asked.
“Paradis, Hennessy cognac. And not that it’s any of your business, but I take about five or six swigs a day. It relaxes me.” Ming Li handed the gold flask to Daisy.
Daisy gulped it, twisted her face, and banged her fist on her chest. “Damn, that’s some strong stuff. What is it, again?”
“About three hundred dollars,” Gigi said, laughing.
Three calls to Jasper’s attorney but not one call back. Daisy tried to understand. After all, he was a busy and important man. But after the last unreturned call, Daisy became impatient. Gigi offered to try, and Ming Li said that she’d have her lawyer contact Jasper’s, but Daisy declined both offers. This was something she had to do for herself.
Daisy held the phone tightly and waited for the receptionist to put her through, tapping her foot. She felt confident that Jasper’s attorney, Kenneth Burgess, would tell her that everything was fine.
“Ms. Parker, this is Ronald Hayes. I’m a junior partner at the firm. How can I help you?”
Daisy sighed. “I’m calling about Jasper Stevens’s will.” As if you don’t know. “Was anything left to either his son or myself?”
Mr. Hayes cleared his throat. “I’m afraid all the beneficiaries have been contacted.”
Daisy’s heart pounded. “Are you sure? There has to be some sort of mistake. Maybe you sent something to a wrong address or called a wrong number. There’s no way he’d have forgotten his son. Will you please check?”
“Again, I’m sorry. There’s been no mistake. All beneficiaries have been contacted, and they’ve met in person for the reading and execution.”
Daisy dropped the phone.
She began pacing frantically. How could Jasper enjoy her loyalty for seven years and leave her without so much as a dime? Something had to be wrong. He loved Jay too much to leave him to fend for himself. She slapped her head. She’d been his fool. His whore. The woman he’d treated like his child. Don’t work, Daisy. What kind of man would I look like if my woman had to work? My mother didn’t have to work. None of my coworkers’ wives have to work. You’re going to shame me. I’ll always take care of you. Forever, Daisy. Me and you, forever.
Jasper’s lies raced through
Daisy’s mind. She’d done everything for him, and he’d done nothing for her. Moved her to a city where she had no relatives. Given her a home, which he would’ve had whether she’d lived there with him or not. Taken away her independence so that she’d be dependent on him. He had accepted her love and returned it with lies. And then he died and caused a part of her to die with him.
“Well, what did he leave you guys?” Gigi asked.
“Homeless. Penniless. Scared.”
As much as Daisy wanted to blame her troubles on Jasper, honesty wouldn’t permit it. Everything had happened with her permission. Jasper had never held a gun to her head and forced her to do anything. She’d willingly given him control of her life because she’d wanted him to have it—needed him to.
I’m in charge of my own life now. I can do this, handle this. I can. She battled the doubt that eased in. “Why?” Daisy whispered hoarsely.
Resting her head against the wall, she peered across the room at the heap of Jasper’s belongings that she had piled in the corner. Her first thought had been to burn his things, but her conscience wouldn’t allow it. She needed to cremate her memories, not his clothes. She stared at the pile. Jasper’s essence was in the room. Daisy couldn’t resist the temptation; she walked to the pile and picked up one of Jasper’s silk shirts. Rubbing the slick fabric against her cheek, she felt goose bumps travel down the nape of her neck to the bottom of her spine. Closing her eyes, she gave in to the softness of the silk. Her mind drifted to memories of Jasper’s hands caressing her. She held the shirt to her nose and inhaled.
The material didn’t smell like Jasper. It smelled like Camille.
Daisy’s stomach turned. She knew the thought was ridiculous; the shirt had been piled among Jasper’s other things for so long that it couldn’t smell like anyone. It was all in her mind. The mere thought of him was making her ill one day and aroused the next. As much as she was starting to despise Jasper’s memory, she still loved him. She was suffocating, trapped between love and hate.
She stood, wringing her hands, and took slow, deliberate steps toward the pile of clothes. Pain, anger, and grief took hold of her. Even in death, Jasper was controlling her. Daisy shook her head. She wouldn’t allow him to overpower her anymore.
“Okay.” She nodded, giving herself permission to rid herself of Jasper’s things. She retrieved a box of garbage bags from the pantry, made a beeline to the living room, and tossed them across the room toward Jasper’s stuff. Then she grabbed her keys, hurried outside, and backed her Jeep onto the lawn. She opened the top and bottom hatch, then went inside to finish her business with Jasper’s ghost.
In the living room, she hesitated. Boxes would be easier, neater. But I’m being put out like trash, so why shouldn’t you? May your spirit always be Glad. Daisy smirked as she stuffed Jasper’s belongings into the trash bags and piled them into the back of her SUV. She ran back inside to the guest room and grabbed the jewelry box from the dresser. She removed the promise ring that Jasper had given her. She held it, studied its intricate pattern of diamonds and rubies, then stuffed it into her pocket.
Daisy trudged through the grass toward Jasper’s massive marble headstone. The wind blew her hair and the leaves rustled, but Daisy didn’t notice. The inscription on Jasper’s gravestone held her attention: Loving and devoted husband, father, and son. His baby wasn’t even born yet. On the way to the cemetery, she wanted to shout, curse Jasper, and spit on his grave. But now, she couldn’t take her eyes off the chiseled words. She’d known she wouldn’t be included in the inscription. But seeing it like this was cruel, an announcement of just how unimportant she was.
“ ‘Lying, conniving, deadbeat dad, and two-timing boyfriend of devoted girlfriend’ is how the stone should read,” she sobbed. “I won’t ask why, Jasper. I know now. It’s written in stone.”
She knelt down, digging her nails in the earth until she had made a small hole. Reaching into her pocket, she retrieved the promise ring. “You gave me this once, remember? Promised me that one day…you said you loved me, that you’d always be true. ‘You’re the only woman in my life, Daisy. The only one for me.’ Do you remember that, Jasper? Hunh? You lied to me, gave me false hope, promised a lie. Now I’m giving it back to you. Take your promise and shove it up your rotting ass.”
Daisy looked around and saw that she was alone. She unbuckled her pants, pulled them down with her panties in one swift motion, and pissed on Jasper’s grave.
Daisy walked into the cluttered living room, stepping over boxes and avoiding bubble wrap. She’d done everything she could to avoid packing up the guest room and dealing with her demons, but she knew she had to. With every step toward the stairs, her neck stiffened and her temples throbbed. Tension spread through her back as her muscles tightened. I can’t. She grabbed the banister and sat on the lower step. She thought about home—her real home. She needed her mother.
She hadn’t called home since their last argument, almost a year before. She’d wanted to apologize, to kiss and make up, but she had refused. She was stubborn, and so was her mother. The ordeal hadn’t been Daisy’s fault. Her parents hadn’t agreed with her wanting Lani back and didn’t allow her to have her say. When she tried to speak out, her words fell on decidedly deaf ears as they sung her mistakes to her like spirituals. “You’re not Lani’s mother anymore, Daisy. How could you be? You gave her up. Do you honestly think it would be wise to step in and be her mother now?” her mom had said without hesitation or remorse. “But I am a mother. Damnit, I am her mother,” Daisy’d spat back. As angry as she’d been, she now wanted to hear her mother’s voice. Daisy wrapped her arms around her middle and cuddled herself. She needed someone to say that they loved her and mean it.
Daisy held the phone, staring at the lighted numbers. Her hands were sweaty, trembling as she dialed. She swallowed hard as she waited for someone to answer.
“Hello?” It was her mother, Ms. Christine Parker.
“Hey, Mom. How are you?”
“Daisy?”
“Yeah, Mom. It’s me.”
“Daisy, is that you? Thank God, honey. I thought something had happened to you. You had me worried after the last time we talked. You okay?”
Daisy blinked back the tears and tried to blink back the memories of the fight they’d had over where her daughter should live. “I’m okay, I guess.”
“How’s Jay? And Jasper? Is he still treating you good?”
Daisy shook her head. “Jasper’s dead, Mom.”
“Oh, Lord. When? How? Are you and Jay okay?”
“I’m handling it the best I can. He’s been gone over a month now. Shot to death. I think his family is going to try to take Jay away.”
“I’m so sorry, baby. Why didn’t you call sooner? I know you must’ve needed me. I would’ve flown out there—”
“I know, Mom, but that’s not why I’m calling. I’m moving. I have to clean out my closet, and I can’t. I want to, have to, but I can’t.”
“What’s in the closet, baby? Why can’t you?”
Daisy wiped her eyes. “The papers. All those damn papers. I can’t do it, Mom. Please help me. I need you.”
“Stay put. Your father and I will be on the next flight out—”
“Just you, Mom. Just you, okay?”
“Okay, baby. Just me. Hold on. Be strong now. Call Gigi and your other girlfriend and have them come over and keep you company until I get there. I’ll be there as soon as I can. And call an ambulance if you feel one of those breakdowns coming on, okay? Daisy?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you. No matter what’s happened between us over the years, I love you. You’re my baby girl.”
“I love you too, Mom.” Daisy cradled the phone to her chest and cried until she had no more tears.
Knowing that her mother was coming, Daisy felt stronger. She willed herself up on her feet. I can do this. I can. She repeated her mantra. Preparing herself for what lay ahead, Daisy decided to clean house.
5
Daisy poured steaming water into the coffee cup and dunked the tea bag until the water became the color of mud. She held the mug under her nose, allowing the rising steam to tickle her nostrils and open her nasal passages. Too much crying had made her stuffy. She inhaled the peppermint aroma, held it in, then released the minty coolness through her mouth. She smiled and did it again.
She gazed out the window at the swimming pool. The aqua-colored ripples shimmered under the moon’s glow. The weeping willow swayed in the breeze. She’d forgotten about the pool in the midst of her turmoil. She promised herself that if she didn’t do anything else before she left the house, she’d have one final swim, one last moment to immerse her body in twelve feet of heated water.
Slipping out of her shoes, Daisy walked along the edge of the pool. Every other step she took, she’d dip her toes in the lukewarm water until tiny circles appeared on the surface. She thought of Jay. “Almost done, baby,” she said as she rolled up her jeans, sat down, and put her feet in the water. The house is almost empty; most of the furniture is in storage, and our clothes are packed. She closed her eyes and said a short prayer. She needed strength—they all did.
“Am I disturbing you, baby?” Ms. Christine walked toward Daisy holding two goblets of iced tea. “I figured we’d need these.”
“No, Ma. Come join me,” Daisy said, patting the spot next to her.
Ms. Christine handed Daisy the glasses, eased down, and stuck her feet in the pool. “Whew! Squatting gets difficult when you get older. Everything isn’t as easy as it looks, I guess.”
“You got that right.” Daisy handed her mother a glass. “Thanks for coming, Ma. And for helping me get it all together. I know you don’t like to fly alone. I appreciate it.”
Ms. Christine took a sip of tea and looked at the sky. “My, it sure is beautiful out here at night. You see that star right there, Daisy? That bright one?” Ms. Christine pointed. “That’s ours: mine and yours—our connection. When I was younger, around your age, your great-grandmother Ma Dear showed me that star the very night she died; the brightest star. She said it was our family connection, between the living and the dead. Kind of a stairway to those we love who are gone, and a meeting place for those of us who live far away from one another. I’ve watched that star for the past year or so, and I knew that you could see it too.”
Pushing Up Daisies Page 5