Dr Knight graciously bowed his head. “Many thanks,” he said in his boomy baritone voice. “I shall treasure it forever.” He tore open the parcel and pulled out the jersey. His smile was stiff as he looked at the thick, cable-knit sweater. In places Ilona had dropped a stitch or two. It looked like a moth-eaten llama. It smelt like one too.
“Put it on, Dr Knight,” begged Ilona.
Dr Knight opened his mouth to protest, but Doug clapped his hands. “Yes, Doc, splendid idea. Put it on.”
Dr Knight had no choice. He pulled the jersey over his head. It was very tight around his neck, but came down almost to his knees. He looked ridiculous – like a furry sausage with legs.
“Wonderful touch,” gushed Doug. “Jolly good, Dr Knight. Now let’s get the show started.”
28
Justus gets the itches
“All contestants for the Best Behaved Dog award, kindly take your places on the fountain lawn,” announced Mrs Todd over the loudspeaker.
Jamie’s heart was thudding as she lined up. She chose her spot right at the end of the line. Hopefully Fungi would see all the other dogs doing their tricks and learn what he was supposed to do.
Ilona, of course, had chosen a position right in front of the camera and the judge’s table. Justus was sitting smartly to attention, every hair perfectly in place. Mr Wart was on her other side with his smug little poodle, Mishka, already showing off by waving her paw at the judge’s table.
Jamie looked admiringly at the pretty head girl who was holding Mrs Jones’s pug, Esmeralda, on her green shiny lead. “One day maybe Mrs Jones will let me take her dog to a dog show,” she whispered to Fungi. “We’ll go together. When I’m head girl.”
Dr Knight puffed into the microphone on his collar and said, “Testing, testing.” He was sweating in the jersey. The camera man gave him a thumbs up, a light flashed on and beamed around onto his face, and the competition began.
“Round one,” declared Mrs Todd. “Sit and stay. Any dog who does not sit or stay on command will lose points. Contestant one, are you ready?”
Contestant one was a schnauzer called Philly. Her owner was an elderly gentleman with a big moustache. Philly had a moustache to match. Jamie thought she was adorable. She clapped as Philly sat beautifully on command. Philly got excited and began to wriggle.
“Oooooh,” went the crowd.
“Stay, Philly,” bellowed the old gentleman in his posh voice. “Stay, Philly.”
Ilona looked smug. Contestant one had lost five points. She and Justus were up next.
“Siiiit!” commanded Ilona, giving a short, sharp toot on her whistle. Justus sat. As his bottom was about to touch the ground he gave a yelp and jumped up again.
“Siiiiit!” commanded Ilona again, tooting the whistle louder.
Justus wanted to behave. He looked up at her with pleading eyes, sat down, yelped, and dragged his bum along the grass.
“Stay!” bellowed Ilona, tooting like a minibus taxi at rush hour. Justus tried to look at his rear end. Something was making it itch like crazy. He was whirling around, trying to bite and scratch his bum at the same time.
Meanwhile Dr Knight was feeling itchy too. The jersey was much too hot. He was sweaty, irritable, and his make-up was starting to run. Any moment now he’d start looking like a fool on national television. He grabbed the jersey and pulled it over his head. Unfortunately, the neck hole was a little tight. The jersey was stuck.
The sight of Justus chasing his tail and Dr Knight with a dog hair jersey stuck on his face was too much for Tick. He laughed so hard, he let go of Bieber.
The monkey came leaping out from the spectator stands and leapt onto Ilona’s head. He grabbed the whistle from her neck and bounded away with it.
“Get back here, you disgusting animal!” Ilona screeched. She dashed after Bieber, who was making for the fountain. As he reached the fish pond, she threw herself across the lawn in a rugby tackle. Bieber leapt out of the way.
Stuck under the jersey Dr Knight didn’t see Ilona thundering across the lawn towards him. He did not see her throw herself across the grass, although he felt the swoosh as Bieber jumped up onto his head and then shot over to the top of the fountain. Ilona’s head thundered into Dr Knight’s legs like a battering ram, and he bounced over backwards into the fish pond.
The jersey took on water like a sponge. It billowed around him like a carpet. Dr Knight slowly sat up. A lily pad was stuck on his head. Strands of green weed sagged across his face. His make-up was running. He looked like a sad clown.
Dr Knight staggered up, roaring like an angry elephant. “Someone will pay for this!” he roared.
“Ilona!”
29
Pandemonium
Up on the fountain Bieber gibbered and danced, blowing the whistle. He blew and blew. Poor Justus didn’t know what to do. He sat. He stayed. He scratched his bum. He sat on his hind legs. He died for the King. He dragged his bum a little more. Bieber was working him like a trained monkey.
The crowd roared. Hundreds of cellphones videoed him for YouTube.
Ilona was very furious. “Give that whistle here!” she yelled as she helped Dr Knight out of the fish pond.
Philly, the schnauzer, took one look at the dripping carpet emerging from the pond. It’s a monster from the deep, she thought, come to eat my master. It’s my job to save him. She rushed at Dr Knight, barking furiously.
“Stay, Fungi!” ordered Jamie as all the other dogs rushed at the vet, yapping and growling. Fungi sat quietly at her feet.
Esmeralda, the pug, had wriggled out of her collar and had run over to the table where the prizes were set out – twenty large bags of dog treats – one for every contestant. She grabbed the white linen tablecloth and pulled. A pile of treats landed on her head. The rest of the dogs went wild. They didn’t know which to attack first – the monster or the treats.
“Order, order!” yelled Mrs Todd over the loudspeaker. “Will all contestants kindly take control of their dogs. Any dog not obeying orders will be instantly disqualified.”
Jamie gazed in admiration at Fungi. He was sitting to attention at heel. His eyes barely wandered across to the scrum of dogs grabbing the prizes and wolfing them down. He didn’t even glance at Dr Knight, staggering across the lawn to the men’s bathroom, followed by a snarling schnauzer, hanging from the jersey by its teeth.
He certainly didn’t see Doug, the TV director, ordering the cameramen to keep shooting as Dr Knight finally got the jersey off his head. The schnauzer ran off with it, growling and snapping at anyone who came near its prey.
The head girl, Ellie, was almost in tears as she grabbed Esmeralda and tried to get her collar back on.
And still Fungi sat to heel, back straight, head erect. He didn’t move a whisker. Jamie had never felt so proud.
30
An unexpected champion
Finally everything settled down. Dr Knight hurried off to change his clothes. The owners gained control of their dogs. Bieber got tired of blowing the Magic Whistle. He jumped up onto the school roof and dropped it into the gutter. Arabella stepped in and put Justus on his lead. Mrs Jones called for quiet over the microphone.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” she began in her dignified voice, “as we seem to have lost our head judge, I shall take it upon myself to choose the winner of the Best Behaved Dog category. It is with great pride that I call upon Jamie Waine and her dog, Fungi, to come up and accept a cheque for R1 000 for the Best Behaved Dog.”
Jamie blushed scarlet from delight. Everyone cheered as she shook the cool hand of Mrs Jones and accepted the envelope containing her fabulous prize.
The competition was over.
“Let’s go and have a turn on the tombola,” said Pan. “Maybe you’re on a winning streak. We should enter all the raffles too.”
Arabella came running up to Jamie. “Well done, sweetheart,” she said, giving her a big hug.
“Poor Ilona,” said Jamie. The receptionist was sitting in a f
orlorn heap, alone in the fast emptying stands. Justus sat at her feet, licking his bum. He looked as miserable as her. Her jersey’s ruined, and the whistle’s gone, and Dr Knight is furious with her.
The TV director came bustling over. “Good day,” he said cheerily. “I am Doug Weston, and this is my chief cameraman, Fergus.” He waved his hand at the cameraman who was still chortling. “Your dog is just the sort of dog we are looking for to be the face of Petley’s Chum dog food. We’d love to have him in a commercial.”
Jamie couldn’t believe her ears. She stroked Fungi’s back as her mother and the director sat down on the stands to talk details. “Did you hear that, you clever boy? You’re going to be famous,” she whispered. “I knew you could do it.”
Fungi looked at Jamie with a pained expression on his face. Suddenly he started to whine and writhe.
“Mom!” shouted Jamie. “Mom, something’s very wrong with Fungi.”
Arabella raced over to Jamie’s side. By this time Fungi was squatting and howling like a wolf. A strange wheezing sound was coming from his bottom.
Arabella looked concerned. “I’m not sure what he’s doing. I’ve never heard that sound before.”
Over at the fish pond Ilona was squeezing the water out of the discarded jersey. She jumped up. “Hold on!” she bellowed. “I’ll call the real vet. Dr Knight will know what to do.”
31
The Magic Whistle returns
Fungi started to strain and shake. His eyes bulged and he groaned.
Dr Knight came running out of the refreshment tent. “Stand aside,” he ordered. “This is a medical emergency.” He lifted Fungi’s lip and looked at his gums. He shone a light into his eyes. He felt his stomach. Fungi yelped.
“Help him, please help him,” Jamie cried.
Dr Knight stood up. He looked worried. “It’s a full-blown case of Molteno straining disease,” he said.
“Mom!” cried Jamie, pointing at Fungi’s bottom. A red bulge was appearing, then disappearing again. Each appearance was accompanied by the weird squeaking sound. “What’s that?”
“It’s his intestines,” said Dr Knight. “The poor animal is suffering a prolapse. He will have to be put down.”
“No,” wept Jamie, dropping to the ground and hugging Fungi. Everyone had tears in their eyes, even the cameraman.
“You have to be strong,” said Dr Knight. “I’ve got my medicine case in the car. I’ll just get the syringe.”
“Mom!” cried Jamie. “Don’t let them kill Fungi. Can’t you fix him?”
Fungi wriggled out of her arms. He squatted on the grass. His eyes were bulging almost out of his head. The whistling from his bum grew louder and louder, until suddenly he gave a huge push, and a long red rope emerged from his bottom.
The string grew longer and longer as Fungi strained.
“The worst case of Molteno straining disease I’ve ever seen in my life,” Dr Knight muttered. “I hope you’re capturing this on video. It could make veterinary history.”
Finally Fungi gave a huge grunt. His eyes bulged. His tongue hung out. He whimpered from one end and whistled from the other, and out came … Knight’s Magic Whistle!
“My whistle!” shouted Ilona. “Your damned dog swallowed my whistle!” She looked like she was going to explode.
Fungi turned around and examined his poo proudly. Then he jumped on his hind legs and licked Jamie’s face.
“That stupid dog stole my whistle! He has to go!” yelled Ilona.
Arabella looked calmly at her and Dr Knight. “I hardly think that’s necessary. After all …” she looked at the whistle lying gleaming on top of the steaming pile of dog poo, “he’s given it back.”
Jamie and Pan doubled up with laughter.
Arabella put her arm around Jamie. “Come along, love, let’s find your brother and go and buy this fabulous dog a nice, big steak.”
Ilona and Dr Knight were left alone, mouths gaping like goldfish.
The only person happier than Jamie that morning was the director. He had the whole thing on video. His programme was going to be a hit.
Jamie wants to impress her headmistress, but with a family like hers it’s going to take more than straight A’s. Luckily the dog show is coming up and Jamie has a plan. Fungi, her bouncy, scruffy, underpants-stealing dog will be the Best Behaved Dog in the competition. That means she needs Doctor Knight’s Magic Whistle, but first she has to get past Bieber, her brother’s monkey. As if this isn’t enough, her irritating, allergy-prone cousin, Fifi, is coming to stay for a whole week and her brother Tick has discovered the recipe for itching powder … Jamie’s mother is a vet and life among all kinds of adorable pets is never dull. A humorous, fun-filled story with a wild streak of raucous entertainment, bursting with adventurous animal antics.
Other publications by Helen Brain are: Who’s Afraid Of Spiders, My hart klop muffins, Fly Cemetery and other Juicy Stories and Will and Joe and the Great Pirate Rescue. In addition to writing books, Helen regularly writes feature articles for magazines, and is also a freelance editor. At present she has a website where she gives information and tips for new and established authors. Helen lives in Mowbray, Cape Town.
Nicky Webb is a practicing vet and lives in Port Elizabeth.
Rico Schacherl is known as illustrator of the very popular and iconic Madam and Eve strip cartoon. He has also illustrated children’s books for overseas publishers.
First English edition in 2014 by Human & Rousseau,
an imprint of NB Publishers,
a division of Media24 Boeke (Pty) Ltd,
40 Heerengracht, Cape Town, South Africa
PO Box 5050, Cape Town, 8000
www.humanrousseau.com
Copyright © 2014 in text by Helen Brain and Nicky Webb
Copyright © 2014 in illustrations by Rico Schacherl
All rights reserved.
No part of this electronic book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including photocopying and recording, or by any other information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher.
Cover design by Rico Schacherl and Tracey Witbooi
E-book design: Trace Digital Services
Available in print:
First edition in 2014
ISBN: 978-0-7981-6757-4
Epub edition:
First edition in 2014
ISBN: 978-0-7981-6758-1 (epub)
Mobi edition:
First edition in 2014
ISBN: 978-0-7981-6759-8 (mobi)
Jamie and the Magic Whistle Page 6