He didn't smile, but the way he was eyeing me up, I could tell it was a mutual appreciation.
"I was looking for you," he said as we stepped into the lobby area.
"What can I do for you?" I asked, not slowing my stride as I headed through what used to be the casino gaming floor.
Crash fell into step alongside me and Buzz fell back but not out of sight.
"I don't know where Cormac is, but I'm going back, with or without him. He can't just disappear and think we're going to wait. When we came back, the agreement was we would get reinforcements, not sit on our asses."
"It's barely been a day. He'll be here tonight." I hoped, because Crash wasn't going to be held off for long, and neither was I.
I eyed up the crowd as we walked. I was looking for wolves that seemed to be up to no good, but avoided any direct eye contact with the humans.
"Why do you walk through here when it makes you so uncomfortable?"
I stiffened. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh…I think you do."
I stopped in the middle of what had become the town center of our little civilization with all eyes on me. They were always on me, haunting my every step. "You want to get all chummy? Fine, answer some of my questions."
"Some, not all." He looked around. It was obvious we were the center of attention. "Here?"
"No," I said and started walking again. "There's a place on the seventh. It's a nonhuman hang out that…"
"I've heard of it."
"You work quick."
"Have to."
"Be there at ten."
He walked away without answering.
"What are you doing?" Buzz asked as he came up next to me.
"Getting info."
"Seemed like he was looking to get more than that."
"Just because he looked at me? Don't worry about him. I can handle this."
Chapter Twenty
This was the first time I'd come here since it had opened. It was Burrom's, or had been. He'd opened it a day or so after he had gotten settled, knowing instinctively that the Fae and wolves were going to need a place like this to blow off steam and try to feel normal. From what I'd heard, there was a similar place that catered to the humans somewhere on the main casino floor.
I got several looks as I walked into the place that used to house one of the many casino restaurants and I knew that I'd picked the right outfit. The small tight black dress hugged every curve I had, of which there were many.
I spotted Crash across the bar, hanging near a door that opened onto an abandoned balcony. It used to be the most packed area of the joint but the new view left a lot to be desired. When you were looking for escape, not reality, ruins could really dampen your mood.
His eyes roved over me as I approached, but not in a sleazy way. Just a man who knew his worth, letting a woman know he knew hers.
He wore a button down shirt and slacks, similar to what Cormac liked to wear and it made me sad. Crash was an attractive man, but he wasn't Cormac. The similarities in clothing just made me think of all the differences.
If Cormac were here, he wouldn't like this meeting even a little, but he was out doing his own thing, who knew where. I had to stop worrying about what Cormac liked. Fuck Cormac.
Crash smiled when I finally reached him. He straightened from where he'd been leaning against the doorframe and handed me one of the matching drinks he held.
I took the glass with no intention of drinking it and I nodded my head outside.
"You don't mind the rippers?" he asked.
There weren't any hovering nearby right now but that didn't mean they wouldn't show up at any moment. Even though they couldn't get that close to the casino, people tended to avoid the balcony because of the rippers as much as the ruins.
I shrugged, noncommittally, not sure if I should tell him I could make them heel, not that it mattered. I still hated the look of them and what they represented.
We walked over and I leaned on the balcony railing.
"You first," I said.
"He's got my daughter, Maggie."
I was taken aback at his open omission. "I'm sorry," I said, knowing nothing would be adequate or make that feel any better.
He leaned next to me. "She's all I have left. She's what you people call the changed."
"So you joined him?"
He raised an eyebrow at me.
"I didn't mean it like that." I stared out at the ruins before I spoke again. "I get it. It's easy to be idealistic when you aren't the one making the choices. You sit back from your safe vantage point and say what should have been done. Then, one day, you’re the one making the tough calls and you don't even know who you are anymore. You just keep wondering what happened, how you got there. And maybe the biggest question, how can you get the hell out of this."
"The closer I get to him, the closer I get to Maggie. Once I have her, I'll leave. There are settlements springing up in areas where the rippers don't like to go."
"Where is that?"
"Anything along the tornado wall. They hate being near it." He took a sip of what looked like scotch. "Your turn, why do you walk through the casino floors every day when you hate being there?"
"I used to stroll through the casino before everything fell apart. I liked the energy, the activity. Now I guess I do it to hold on to some part of what I used to be. If I start hiding now…" I swirled the liquid around in the glass but I wouldn't drink it. "If I hide now, I might never show my face again. Sometimes I feel like I'm a hair's width away from breaking." I regretted the words the minute they left my mouth. This guy was working for the other team and I'm telling him how weak I feel. What was wrong with me?
"You underestimate yourself."
I turned to look at him, mere inches away from me.
"People like you don't break." His fingers glided across the skin of my cheekbone. "You're like forged steel; the wounds only make you stronger."
I looked into his warm hazel eyes. This man would never tell me to get out when he didn't get what he wanted. He wouldn't push me to my limits. Being with him would be easy and the invitation was clear. Only thing was…he wasn't Cormac. And oh yeah, he worked for the senator. Was I really this desperate for someone that I'd even consider him?
And then, for someone like me who tried to swallow back their feelings at every moment, I realized what I was doing. I missed Cormac, and I wanted to fill the gaping hole he'd left behind with anything I could find and stop the bleeding. I leaned against the railing, feeling more depressed than ever. All Crash did was make me want Cormac more.
I tensed suddenly when I saw Cormac through the opening of the balcony door. I didn't know that he ever came here or I never would have suggested the place. He'd probably heard I was here with Crash and wanted to know why I was fraternizing with the senator's man.
"You sure you know what you are doing with that one?" Crash asked. "And don't look at me like that. It's very obvious there's something going on between you two."
"I'm not doing anything with him."
"He's a hard man. He'll hurt you if you get in his way. You know that, don't you?"
I knew that better than anyone did. I wanted to deny it, say it wasn't true, but I couldn't. So I said nothing
"You really want him?" Crash asked.
"Yeah, I do."
He smirked and took a step closer.
"I'm going to do you a favor." Crash's hand curved around my back.
"He's not going to care for those reasons. He's done with me. He just wants to know what I'm doing out here with you."
"No one looks at a woman like that if he's done."
"This isn't a good idea."
We were alone on the balcony and I took a breath and looked over to where I knew Cormac was standing by the door. But he wasn't looking at me at all, he was looking down at a pretty little cocktail waitress.
"Humor me," he said.
Crash's hand pulled me the rest of the way into him and I
let him. His lips feathered over mine in a teasing manner. He could be the best kisser in the world, but there was nothing Crash could have done that would've made me want him. There was no room left.
"Leave. Now." Cormac's voice was two feet away from us.
Crash opened his mouth to speak, took another look at Cormac and walked from the balcony. He looked back at me and winked right before he disappeared back into the bar.
He stared at me as if he wanted to kill me.
"The senator's man?" he didn't say anything else, just stared at me like I was beneath his contempt.
The spark of hope that this was jealousy crashed and burned. Yeah, getting hot and heavy with a guy that was with the senator wasn't the best move, but no one had seen me but Cormac. I was too hurt to care if it had been stupid. It was a kiss and now at least I had my answer. He didn't care.
"Yes, the senator's man. So what?" I knew it was a lame answer but I just didn't care right now. He was really through with me and the truth burned like a hole in my chest, making it hard to breathe.
"You're going to stand here and cavort with the enemy, in my casino?"
He took a couple of steps toward me and I didn't move an inch. His body radiated barely controlled rage and I didn't care. I just wanted something from him. Anything other than the cold disinterested looks I'd started to expect.
"Sorry, I'll make sure to leave your casino when I sleep with him. It's just that we currently have a lack of hotels in business, and well, I'm sure you get the…" the words died as I watched his control start to slip. Oops, I might have taken it a little too far this time I thought as I belatedly realized that even Cormac had a limit, and I think I'd just hit it.
His hand wrapped around my wrist and he pulled me along after him through the bar. A path opened up in front of us as anyone who looked at him for even a second skirted out of his way. Everyone watched us pass by and I thought I heard someone say, "Is he going to kill her?"
He dragged me after him into the stairwell and I tried to yank back control of my arm.
"Let me go," I yelled.
He ignored me and kept walking.
He didn't release me until we walked into the living room of the penthouse.
Dodd and Buzz were on the couch when we walked in.
"Get out," Cormac said, but it was unnecessary. They took one look at him with me trailing behind and they were already scrambling to leave.
I watched him stalk across the living room floor and I wondered how long it was going to take before he spoke. I didn't have to wait more than a few seconds. The moment the door clicked shut behind Buzz and Dodd, he exploded.
He turned to me, with anger pouring out of him. "I guess you don't care where you get it now?"
The words felt like a blow and for the first time, I didn't want to yell. I didn't have it in me to fight with him anymore. If this was what he thought of me, it was over anyway. There was no point.
"He's not the senator's man." My voice was flat and emotionless.
"Forget it." He shook his head and walked away from me. "You want to sleep with him, then go do it. Sleep with all of them. You can leave with them too." He moved around the room and grabbed some papers off the table, ignoring me already.
I should leave. He told me to get out. I'd leave soon.
"And stop doing that," he said when he looked up at me and I was still in the exact same place.
"Doing what?"
"Looking at me like that. Like I rejected you." The anger was seeping back.
"Haven’t you?"
"I would've given you everything I had and you didn't want it." He turned away from me and walked to the bar.
I had no argument. What was there for me to say? I only temporarily rejected you? I didn't want everything but hey, I was willing to sleep with you?
"Get out," he said again, not looking at me any longer.
He was so angry. Maybe he had never stopped being angry. I could see it in his every movement. Self-preservation told me to leave. I wasn't built for a relationship, my childhood had beat that out of me, and a life with him would never be easy.
So why wouldn't my legs move? Why did I have this overwhelming fear that if I left this time, it would be different, final? That if I ran from him this time, he'd just let me disappear.
"No." It wasn't an eloquent expression of love but I thought it got my point across. I hoped it did because I was having a hard enough time standing my ground.
I watched as he poured himself a drink. A vein pulsed in his neck. He threw back a glass and then another.
"I'm done with the cat and mouse game." He looked at me, letting me see what he was thinking. He still wanted me and with an intensity that scared me to my core.
It was a final warning.
And I still didn't move. I'd rather brave the storm than lose him.
Our eyes met and held. He put his glass down on the bar in a slow and deliberate motion and started walking toward me.
Five steps away, four, three…
He paused a mere inch from me.
"Last. Chance."
My mouth grew dry. I didn't say a word, just stood there. I was scared of what being with him would mean but more terrified of not having him at all.
He was so close but not touching me. His silver-grey eyes roved up and down my body as if I were a feast he was about to devour and a chill rushed through me. He laid his hands in unison on my waist and then slowly guided them upward, until they brushed the underside of my breasts, before they moved downward again. I was embarrassed because he'd barely touched me and my breathing was already heavy and my heart was beating rapidly in my chest. He didn't seem to notice or care.
His hands drifted lower, following the contour of my hips and then lower until they reached the hem of my dress. His fingers gripped it, sliding his hands back upward, with the dress in tow, until it bunched around my waist.
His hands reached around and cupped my ass, pulling me up on my tiptoes until I was flush against his erection.
"Do you think…"
"Shut up." His lips covered mine in an onslaught that made me forget what I even wanted to say. I was drowning in sensations. A small part of me poked its head up and said he was overwhelming me on purpose. The other ninety-five percent was drowning in him and didn't care. He ground against me and the last coherent part of my brain shut down.
I didn't even know we had moved about the room until I felt a cool surface of the bar underneath me and my hips were teetering on the edge, the pressure of Cormac against me, in between my legs, keeping me in place.
He pulled my dress over my head and pressed me back against its surface. Laying there only in a thong, his eyes roved over me and I started to grow self-conscious.
"No," he said pulling my arms to my side. "You don't get to hide after how long you’ve made me wait." His hands replaced mine as they cupped my breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth, then the other, until they were hard buds.
He leaned back, still looking at me as he started to unbutton his shirt. He had the most glorious body I'd ever seen, all dark tanned muscles.
Once his shirt was removed, he undid his pants and shed everything in one swoop. His large penis jutted out and panic shot through me as he stepped back in between my thighs.
As if he knew I was starting to panic, his hand reached in between us, one finger entering me as another rubbed between my folds. I heard myself moan as if I were a different person and I couldn't catch my breath. I felt him remove his fingers as something much larger pushed for entry, as his other hand never stopped rubbing my flesh. My legs wrapped around him, wanting more as my back arched.
He plunged all the way into me with one thrust, and then he paused. His face close to mine, he watched me.
When I nodded that I was okay, he withdrew slowly and thrust back in. His hands cupped my breasts before they moved into my hair, cupping my head and angling it as his lips moved over mine. His tongue delved into my mouth at the same time as his
hips pressed into mine.
I threw my head back as the pace quickly became frantic and overwhelming. My legs pulled him deeper as the intensity of the sensations grew. His hands gripped my shoulders, pulling me firmly to him, as I exploded. A last final thrust had him roaring over me.
I would've laid there indefinitely in my languor, without the smallest inclination to move, but Cormac had other ideas. Without withdrawing himself, he wrapped his arm around my hips and lifted me off the bar with him. He walked us both into his room. I fell backward onto his bed with him following me down.
"What are we doing?"
"You didn't think that was it, did you?" he asked. "I'm going to fuck you so well, that the next time you leave this room, there won't be any doubt left in your brain that you’re mine."
Chapter Twenty-One
I learned last night that Cormac didn't believe in a learning curve. It didn't matter. I hadn't wanted one. After waiting all this time, I wasn't looking for the b version. Cormac got under my skin in a way I couldn't explain.
He'd been gone when I woke in his large bed this morning. I was convinced he wasn't sleeping anymore. Something was going on with him, but I didn't know what; all I did know was that a normal man couldn't have done what he did last night.
When the devil himself walked into the living room, part of me wanted to freeze in a panic, now that the flesh of my memories stood before me. The "lusty me" of last night knew exactly how to act. That Jo wanted to jump all over him and go another few rounds. The "slightly awkward morning me" opted for casual nonchalance.
"What's different about you?" It wasn't the first words I thought I would be saying to him but it certainly broke the ice.
"I thought that was supposed to be my line."
"You aren't sleeping anymore and I thought men couldn't do it that many times in a row," I continued, blowing my laid back "I'm above it all" persona. I didn't sweat it too much. I would've blown that soon enough anyway. I was more of an in the trenches, getting dirty type.
Shattered (Alchemy Series Book #3) Page 14