by Pat Dale
“Please take good care of Mom and Dad. I know you will. They always meant so much to me. And please watch over Amelia, too. She’s a wonderful lady and I love her like she’s my very own mother. About Brad, I need your help. I think you know how I feel about him, but I don’t know what to do. I think I may have lost him and I know it’s my own fault.
“I don’t know how to pray for you to help me overcome my stupid feelings. I know I shouldn’t be so impulsive, but I can’t seem to help myself. If it’s your will I go through life alone, or at least without Brad at my side, I guess I can accept that. But I pray that isn’t the case. Amen.”
Just as before, when the slight echo of her voice died away, there was no sound. She didn’t know whether to expect God to speak out in a physical voice. But the insidious pressure building inside for weeks seemed to be dissipating.
As she got to her feet, there was a lightness she hadn’t felt since she couldn’t remember when. And when she turned and headed for the outside door, something else was at work. An inner voice began to speak, something she wasn’t prepared for. Nevertheless, she stood still and listened as it reminded her of some of the wisdom Amelia shared. Then, there was something else.
Truth shall make you free. Find the truth and share it. Then you shall be truly free to live and love.
Still, there was silence in the church, but this time without the feeling of being alone. Somewhere deep inside, Hattie realized she would never be alone again. Secure in the knowledge she hadn’t been forsaken, she went back into the chill air and headed home with a song in her heart.
At home, she went to her closet and pulled out the bag with the old Leadburg Tigers mascot outfit. For long moments, she sat on the bed with the sealed bag beside her, her mind on those glorious days when she would become a tiger for a day. The teachers were good sports and didn’t complain when she wore it to class—so long as she refrained from wearing the head.
She unzipped the bag and carefully lifted the cloth tiger out. After laying it on the bed, she pulled the head out and placed it beside the body. Then she reached into the bottom of the bag and removed the paws, all four of them.
When Allene made something, anything, she did it right. This outfit, properly filled out, looked like a real tiger in every respect. Everybody had been impressed the first time Hattie wore it to school.
She turned on the vanity lamp and returned to the bedside. Would it still fit? That was the question Teresa had asked. She’d shrugged it off, changing the subject without answering. Because she was afraid it would remind her she was getting old? Or because it would bring back memories of Brad and his silly jokes about her being ‘Tigger’?
Hattie undressed slowly, not sure whether she was getting ready for bed or actually going to put the dumb thing on. When she was down to her undies, she lifted the costume and stepped into it. As she pulled the zipper up to her chin, she realized it still fit perfectly. Actually, better than it had when she’d been a giggly teenager. All the feminine curves of her more mature body made her look even more like a real tiger.
She sat down and worked the hind paws onto her feet. Made to look authentic, they were actually modified slippers. The front paws were made from a pair of cotton gloves, but when worn, looked just like feline paws. Right down to scary-looking claws.
Finally, she lifted the head and dropped it into place. Mom had had a time fabricating it so she could see out of it and move her head from side to side. When finished, it was quite realistic. She padded carefully back to the vanity and stared into the mirror.
“Rah! Rah! Sis boom bah!” she started the old cheer.
In the soft light, she gazed at the image of a petite animated tiger. There was no indication a human being occupied the fabric skin of the animal staring, glassy-eyed, back at her.
“Grrr!” she snarled, in her most tiger-like manner.
“Grrr!” the image snarled back at her.
“Are you a tiger or a Tigger?” she asked the image.
“I’m a tiger,” the image replied. “Don’t give me that Tigger business.”
“Right. Sorry.” She felt her face flaming inside the tiger’s head. Hattie yanked it off, mussing her hair badly. “This is stupid. Talking to myself like I’m crazy.”
Just before she unzipped and stepped out of the costume, she glanced back at the mirror to see the reflection of tears streaming down her cheeks. She repacked the outfit and closed the seal on the bag before putting it back where it had been for ten long years.
* * *
It was mid-morning before Hattie made her way to the store. By that time, Barry Goodnow had already called three times. Gerald was dying to know what was up. She invited him to her office and told him she was going to sell the lot and close the store.
“I’ll do my best to make sure all of you are given special consideration, Gerald. But I’m afraid that’s about the best I can do under the circumstances. I hope we won’t close until the new center is open. I feel so guilty about letting you guys down.”
“It’s okay, Miss Henrietta. Like I said before, we knew they had you between a rock and a hard place. We appreciate all you and your daddy have done for us through the years. How soon will this all take place?”
“Soon. Maybe today or tomorrow. At least I can see what they say about giving you first consideration for employment. Their reputation is good where employees are concerned.”
“Well, I guess this is it, then. Good luck, ma’am.”
“Thanks. I’ll need all the luck I can get.”
After he went back downstairs, she picked up the phone and dialed the number Goodnow had left. “Hello, Barry. It’s Henrietta McCall.”
“Good morning, Hattie. How are you today?”
“What?” Her mind had wandered, bringing up an image of the man she loved. “Oh, I’m feeling much better today.” She grimaced at her blatant lie.
“I’d like to finalize our position financially, Miss McCall, if you’re willing.”
She knew suddenly what she had to do. “Before we do that, I have one more question for you. Will it be possible for me to negotiate a favorable position for my employees here at the Mercantile? They’ve been with the store for a long time and I want to make sure they don’t lose their jobs.”
“Of course. We place a premium on good employees, as you may know. I’m confident we can include an employment clause in the sales contract, one you would find acceptable.”
“Good.” She’d been ready to tell him she’d sign on the dotted line. An image of Brad shaking his head and frowning clouded her mind. She had to talk to him before signing anything with Goodnow. “Now, before we get down to business, I need to talk to someone. It’s very important that I do that first.”
“I thought you were ready to proceed. Will it be today?”
“Yes. Today’s the day, one way or the other.”
“That would be good. I’m about to take up permanent residence here at the Inn.”
“Oh, I don’t think it calls for anything that drastic. I promise to talk to you later.”
She put down the phone and grabbed her jacket. It was time to find Brad and settle how she felt about him for once and for all. No matter how he felt, it was up to her to clear the air. And clear it, she would.
She’d started out of town when her stomach gurgled. With an impatient groan, she turned off at Neil’s and went inside. Chili would be good, but she knew it would take more than that today. She had a raging appetite and added a double cheeseburger and fries to the steaming bowl of chili, finishing it all in record time.
She was off to see the wizard. Or is he a lizard? No, definitely, a wizard. If anything, she was the lizard.
* * *
The office of the Gazette was neat enough, other than needing a good dusting off. Equipped with the cleaning tools he’d acquired at the local grocery store, Brad launched into the project with a vengeance.
The sun was just clearing the top of the building across the street when
he decided it was time for coffee. He glanced at his watch. Eight-thirty. At the rate he was going he would have all but the presses clean and ready by nightfall.
He drove to a local café and picked up a large coffee and a breakfast sandwich. The cleaning made him hungrier than he’d been in a long time. Then he had a thought about the past few days. He’d hardly eaten. No wonder he was so hungry. After a second sandwich, he returned to the paper and the job at hand.
He’d been back at work for nearly two hours when a knock at the front door interrupted him. When he turned the corner from the pressroom, he was astonished to see Hattie standing there.
Oh no! What’s she doing down here?
He unlocked the door and held it open for the woman, who was shivering. “Better get in here out of the cold, Hattie. Welcome to the Gazette, though it’s not quite ready for prime time.”
“Brad, I need to talk to you.” Before he could respond, she launched into a diatribe, something she hadn’t even thought of saying. “What you’re doing makes no sense! Your mother is beside herself with worry, Leadburg is without a responsible editor—”
“Whoa! Hold on, Miss High and Mighty. Since when is it any of your business what I do?”
“It isn’t. I just—”
“You just what? Had to meddle again? Oh, sorry. I forgot. Henrietta takes her position in our community very seriously. And who is lowly Brad Trimble to think he can make an independent decision without Miss Henrietta McCall’s approval.”
Her face had gone from red to white as he spoke. She sputtered and turned toward the door. When it wouldn’t open, she turned back to him.
“Are you going to let me out of here or what? I came to tell you something, Brad, something important. But it’s clear you’re not interested.”
“You just told me plenty, lady. More than plenty. Enough to know I did the right thing leaving Leadburg. One thing you can do, though, if you don’t mind. Leave my mother out of this. She doesn’t need you stirring her up any more than you already have.”
“Me stirring her up! Just what do you call what you’re doing? You’re the one who chided me when I had a lingering thought about leaving Leadburg. You said I should stay where I belong. And now, you run from Leadburg like it’s the very devil coming to get you. I swear I never saw such a bull-headed man in my life! To think I came here to—”
“To what? What did you come here for? To bedevil me?”
“Never mind! It was obviously a mistake. Goodbye, Brad, and I do mean goodbye. I sincerely hope you enjoy Farmville. Have a good life.”
She slammed the door he’d opened while she raged and raced to her car. He watched while she spun off down the street. Something inside had him in a vice grip. He hurried to the restroom and gave up the remains of his breakfast.
Chapter Sixteen
The frosty landscape rushed by in a blur as Hattie drove away from Farmville back to Leadburg. Her mind whirled like a kaleidoscope through all the things she’d wanted to say to Brad as she flew up the nearly deserted highway. The tears blurring her vision didn’t help.
Why hadn’t she told him what she came to say? Now it was over, really over, and she couldn’t do a thing about it. She’d really blown it this time.
She replayed the scene, realizing it had truly been one for the road. He hated her. That was clear. So it was time to make decisions and get on with what was left of her life. The first thing was to finalize things with Wilson’s people. They wanted to build in Leadburg, and so they would. But they’d pay handsomely. In her present mood, she wasn’t inclined to soften her stance with Goodnow. He’d have to come up with a little bit more.
Then she’d go to Tom and accept his offer to teach. It would be good to get back to something she knew. Something she could control. Fresh tears came to the surface as she recalled her late father’s face.
Oh, Daddy, I’ve let you down. I’m so sorry. But I hope you understand retail isn’t for me.
* * *
Henrietta had no more than sat down at her desk when Brad appeared, breathless. “I thought I said goodbye, Brad. What part didn’t you understand?”
“Any of it, where you and I are concerned. I know I was wrong today. I’ve been wrong about lots of things. But there’s one thing I’m not wrong about.”
Something in his eyes made her choke back the insult she’d been ready to hurl his way. Tears shone on his cheeks. She’d never ever seen him cry.
“What is it that you’re right about?”
“You and I belong together.”
“Together, you and I? That’s a laugh. We’re oil and water. We don’t mix.”
“I thought that, too. But that isn’t the problem.”
“Really? Well, go on. I’m waiting for a plausible explanation of what our problem really is.”
“You and I have both let our pride get in the way of the truth for all these years. I can’t speak for you, but I’m sorry for that. The truth is, we’re so much alike it’s scary.”
“Scary works. Try insane.” Inside, though, the words pride and truth triggered an inner sense of knowing that made her hold her tongue.
“Hattie, please. I’m trying to apologize.”
“That’s interesting. This morning when I went off on you, that’s what I’d come to tell you. I’m sorry for letting pride and jealousy get the better of me. I’m sorry. So very sorry.”
“About what? That you thought I was running from away home?”
“No. I thought you were playing house with Sheila.”
“Is that why you’ve kept asking those silly questions?”
“Yes. I’m sorry for the stupid way I charged into the Gazette. I know it really wasn’t you with Sheila.”
“No. It wasn’t me. I have a good idea who it was, though. Chuck Manley.”
“Really? Somehow, that figures.”
“Yeah, but if we can get past whatever it is that’s been keeping us apart, we’ll have a chance to get even with him and his big-city backers. Have you finished your negotiations with Goodnow yet?”
“No, but today’s the day, one way or the other.”
“Good. Remember the official notice from the city? I made sure Sheila will print it in this week’s paper. Now all you have to do is get Goodnow to buy your store when he buys your land.”
“I get it!” She guffawed at his idea. “I sell, and then, after the ad is printed, the city will come in here and close Wilson down. Oooh, that’s sweet!”
“I thought so.”
“There may be a problem with that, though. Goodnow told me he’s ready to build in Farmville if I don’t accept his final offer.”
It was Brad’s turn to laugh. He guffawed.
“What’s so funny about that?”
“He’s already been to Farmville.”
“He has?”
“Four months ago. They ran him out of town.”
“So he’s bluffing, huh? That’s sweet, too. Okay. I can handle that. Brad, I’m terribly sorry for being jealous. I should have known better.”
“Yes, you should. Jealousy can be a bad thing. But I have to ask you a question. Who is that blond guy I saw you with?”
“Blond?”
“Don’t play innocent with me. I saw you kissing him right here in the store. And then the two of you went up and parked on the building lot.”
Her mind finally caught up with him. Tom! He was jealous. Hattie mouthed a silent prayer of thanks. “So you think I have a boyfriend?” she teased.
“A boyfriend, yes. Or maybe a lover.”
Sparks flew from her eyes, but she kept her tongue under control this time. Instead of the retort that might have popped out, she smiled. “Would you like to meet my so-called lover?”
“No! Uh, yes. Well...I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, I do. It’s time the two of us cleared the air totally. Come with me, please.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to take a little drive. I want you to me
et my big blond hero.”
“I’m not sure I want to.”
“If you don’t come with me now, you’ll never know the real truth. You mentioned truth a moment ago. Remember the old saying the truth shall set you free? Well, it’s high time you and I were both set free. Come with me. I need to speak to him anyway.” She led him out to her car. “I’ll drive if you don’t mind.”
“Whatever.”
He settled into the passenger seat and watched with fascination as Hattie aimed the car south down the old road. He wondered where she was going, but was damned if he’d ask. She’d been properly remorseful about her misconceptions concerning Sheila.
Was he going to be put in the same position?
Her posture mesmerized him. Her big blue eyes stayed on the road as she drove with great purpose. A surge of desire swept through him. The first hint of real peace settled over him he watched her drive down the old road. It seemed at first she was headed for Farmville, but then she turned to the southwest. Within a half-hour they were speeding down the modernized portion of Highway 21. He watched as they skirted Pilot Knob, and then drove slowly through Ironton.
Hattie kept silent during the journey. She glanced his way from time to time, wondering what was going through his mind. Maybe it was unfair to keep him in suspense this way but it was fun.
She enjoyed his defensive posture. The uncertain look in his eyes made her want to giggle. Now, the odd warmth enveloped her again when she realized he was staring at her. As though she were a favorite meal. Or something even more delightful.
“Where in the world are we going to find this hero of yours, Hattie?”
“Patience, my doubting Trimble. We’re almost there.”
She turned into the long drive of Arcadia Valley High School and parked in the nearest visitor space. “Come on, Brad. There’s someone I want you to meet.”