“You need to do something here, Travis.”
I knew it.
She knew it.
We all fucking knew it.
I just didn’t know what to do.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” I admitted. “I’m literally hanging on, doing everything I can, but it’s never enough.”
She didn’t come to me. Didn’t put her hands on me. Didn’t even twitch.
God, I wanted that so badly.
But Allegra had already proven that she would do just about anything to keep me exactly how she wanted me.
If there was an award for most awful ex-wife, Allegra would win it twice.
She didn’t want me. She divorced me a year after Alex was born, and that was a shocker.
I’d thought that everything was going great. Sure, I was a distracted man at times since I was helping grow a business with Dante, but I was still home every night by five, home on the weekends. She had a nice house, good clothes covering her back, and a cleaning lady that came in once a week to make sure Allegra didn’t have to stress herself.
Then, one day out of the blue, she’d decided to leave.
There’d been no convincing her to stay, and I’d been left feeling incredibly confused.
Alex had been, too.
And for her, I’d decided that the best thing to do was not to fight it. To get our lives back to normal—or as normal as two adults and a child could be when they were no longer a family—and make sure that Alex never wanted for anything. But she did that staying with her mother.
We’d worked out a visitation schedule without lawyers. We’d split as amicably as a man could when he didn’t want to leave his wife, and things had become our new normal.
Only Allegra was a bitch. This I found out over the next seven years as I started to get out in the world. To be happy again.
The moment that I slept with my first woman after Allegra, Alex missed her first Wednesday visitation with me. Because Allegra, supposedly, ‘forgot.’
It only got worse after that.
Chapter 2
I’m skipping the gym today because I already have a six-pack. At home. In the fridge.
-Things you probably shouldn’t say to your personal trainer
Travis
I woke up the next morning, my eyes heavy with sleep.
TJ hadn’t had a good night, and since Hannah had to go back to work tomorrow, I volunteered to help.
The problem was that the only thing I could really help with at this point was going to get him, changing his diaper, and handing him over.
Yesterday, she’d started pumping for him to have his meals at daycare. But I couldn’t feed him those in the middle of the night, otherwise he wouldn’t have any to eat while Hannah was gone during the day.
Hence why I’d only done the easy things and then handed him over.
When I’d walked into her room in the middle of the night with TJ in my arms, I’d frozen to the spot.
She wore nothing but a t-shirt and panties.
Her breasts were unbound, and they were pressing against the t-shirt (my t-shirt that she’d stolen when she’d gotten too pregnant to wear anything else but my shirts and her scrubs) with delicious intent.
I’d barely had the heart to wake her, but since TJ had started crying, effectively putting an end to anything I’d wanted, it hadn’t mattered.
“Do you know what I’m putting on my pancakes?” Reggie whispered conspiratorially in my ear.
I grinned and opened my eyes, rolling just my head on the pillow to see Reggie within inches of my face.
“No,” I rumbled, voice thick with sleep. “What?”
Had Hannah made a feast that I wasn’t aware of? Damn, that sure did sound nice.
Normally, though, Hannah only had time for the frozen silver dollar sized pancakes that came in packages of one hundred from the store. Though, that was more than Alex had gotten when Allegra was running late and in charge of breakfast. When it was up to her, she drove Alex by Sonic or McDonald’s, got her a biscuit sandwich, and called it good.
At least Hannah fed her kid at home.
“Syrup.”
I burst out laughing.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked. “What’s the big secret?”
She grinned. “Mama warmed it up in the microwave, first. Did you know, that on the new bottle, they have a little microwave window that tells you when it’s at the perfect temperature?”
I did, but I acted like it was the newest invention since sliced bread.
“No, really?”
I pushed up to my ass and slid my feet over the side of the bed, only then realizing that I was in my underwear.
Shit.
I tried really hard not to be caught so indecent in front of Reggie.
I didn’t want to give my ex-fucking-wife any reason to call the cops. Again.
Bitch.
I didn’t know how Allegra found out the stuff she did. I didn’t know who she had working in her pocket at the police station—although thank God that was no longer a factor—but she always seemed to find a way to fuck me over.
She had to have eyes everywhere, and I was halfway convinced that she was spying on me in my own place of business.
“Mama said to let you sleep,” Reggie continued, not noticing anything of my discomfort.
I leaned down and snatched up the sheet that’d been knocked to the floor sometime in between three in the morning and now, which was a little past six. The moment I had it around my waist, I walked into the attached bathroom and closed the door, immediately yanking on the pair of sweats that’d been there from my run the day before.
The moment I was dressed, I walked back out into my room to find Reggie on her belly, her face buried in my pillow, sound asleep.
I blinked.
Literally, the kid could fall asleep anywhere.
I envied her that.
“Is there anything you want me to get at the store tonight?” Hannah asked hesitantly.
I whirled to find her standing in the doorway.
Goddammit. I really hated that she was so fucking cautious around me now.
She wasn’t sure what to say. Hell, half the time I expected to come to the house and find her packed up and gone.
I felt like an utter ass.
What I wouldn’t give to have her back to the way I first met her.
Chapter 3
Just once in my life, I’d actually like to see a liar’s pants catch on fire.
-Coffee Cup
Hannah
389 days ago
“Hello?” I answered, walking toward my car with Reggie holding onto my hand, trotting along behind me.
“You get settled in yet?”
I smiled as I looked at the door to my place.
“Yes, we’re settled…why?”
“Because,” I heard through both my phone and in front of me, “I’m here, and I want to make sure I’m not about to be sent away again when I’ve just driven two hours to see my niece.”
I looked up and immediately smiled at my brother.
“Hey, Michael,” I grinned.
“Uncle Mikey!” came my seven-year old’s screeched squeal. “You’re here!”
Michael shoved his phone into his pocket and took the stairs two at a time, making it three-quarters of the way down before Reggie hit him like a tiny little land piranha.
My brother scooped her up into his arms, buried his face into my girl’s neck, and pretended to eat her.
Reggie, of course, shrieked in glee.
She loved her Uncle Mikey with everything she had, and the day I took her away from him and moved to Uncertain, and then to Hostel from there, was the day that I ‘ruined her life.’ Or so she said, anyway.
She quickly forgot, but she didn’t forget how much she loved her uncle.
“You want to come eat dinner with me and watch a movie, Monster?” Michael asked he
r.
My lips tipped up at the corners.
“What kind of silly question is that?” my daughter shot back. “Of course, I do!”
“You don’t think your momma will care if I steal you away?”
God, please take her! my eyes said pleadingly.
My daughter was a beautiful, intelligent, delight of a child.
But, she was also a handful.
Beautiful, intelligent children who had an IQ as high as Reggie’s needed stimulation. My brain was tired.
It would be nice to get a few minutes peace and quiet.
My daughter looked at me pleadingly, and I changed my expression to one of contemplation.
“Mama!”
I rolled my eyes skyward and sighed.
“I think that she said yes.”
I laughed. “You would think that, wouldn’t you, Mikey?”
He winked at me, came down the rest of the stairs, and then threw his arm around my shoulder.
“I’ve missed you, sis.”
I closed my eyes and rubbed my face on his tattooed forearm.
“I love you, too, Mikey.”
Mikey didn’t do the sweetness all that often, but when he did, I savored it.
He was a badass SWAT officer. If he acted like he was a big ol’ teddy bear, then his reputation would be ruined.
Or so he said.
“Whatever,” he grumbled. “Go out. Get some food. Have some fun. Do what you said your co-worker asked you to do today.”
I snorted.
I was not going to a club and ‘unwinding’ with the sluttiest co-worker that Jefferson had to offer. It just wasn’t happening.
***
Three hours later, I was a little bit tipsy, and watching the most handsome man in the world from across the bar.
God, he was eye-catching.
He had the build of a runner. All wiry and lean. Though, that didn’t mean he didn’t have muscles, because he did. Those arms were to die for, and the tattoos? Those only made those muscles even better.
From across the bar, I couldn’t see what the tattoos looked like, but I wasn’t sure if it’d matter—as long as it didn’t say some long-lost love’s name, I was pretty okay with any tattoo!
He was wearing faded blue jeans, a gray t-shirt with ‘Hail Auto Recovery’ on the back of it in white vinyl letters. Underneath the lettering was a picture of a tow-truck…one that resembled the six tow trucks that I’d parked beside after pulling into the parking lot earlier.
Apparently, the entire Hail Auto Recovery crew was here unwinding after a long day of work.
Kind of like I was.
“Hey!” Wednesday cried out. “Are you going to drink that?”
I looked at the beer I’d been nursing for the last half an hour and shook my head.
“I was going to, but it’s warm now. Do you want it?” I asked, offering her the mug. “I was about to go get a refill.”
As long as the hottie at the bar moved.
I couldn’t walk up and ask the bartender for another beer with him sitting there. There was no way that I’d manage to do it.
I’d either A, walk up and trip, smacking my face on his barstool, or B, spill my beer on either him or myself. Both of which I’d done before.
I was what you would call an awkward woman.
I was an introvert, and on top of that, I found it hard to talk to anyone that wasn’t coming to see me in a medical capacity.
Why I could talk to patients all day long, and not talk to a man that was at a bar, I had no idea. But I couldn’t, and I’d long since decided that it was going to forever be that way.
I’d come to terms with that fact a long time ago...right along the time that I met my ex-husband.
A man that was almost as awkward as me, and quickly made me realize that I was just different.
Except, Joshua, my ex-husband, didn’t really think that. He thought I was odd, and that I’d get over my strangeness once I grew older.
When I didn’t and made an embarrassment of myself and him at a company party (his words not mine), he decided that it was time for him to leave and make it official with his co-worker, Mandy.
Mandy, the woman that I’d cooked dinner for at my home. Mandy, the woman that watched my kid. Mandy, the woman that was also allergic to dogs, and didn’t like Mogley—our dog, that we were forced to put him away while she was over.
Mandy, the whore that had been seeing him on the sly for eight months before he admitted to me that I was no longer ‘his one.’
“Thanks!” Wednesday took the beer and brought it to her lips. “I can’t believe I forgot my wallet!”
I could.
Wednesday was always forgetting everything.
She was a good girl and a great nurse…but with her everyday life? She was the epitome of ditzy.
She was what every blonde joke was made up of.
Poor girl.
She gave the regular blondes like me a bad rap.
I watched her chug the beer, and then slam the cup down on the table, drawing the attention of not just those around me, but also those not around me.
I.e., the hot guy at the bar who hadn’t looked this way all night.
“I love beer!”
I would’ve laughed. Really, I would have, but the man’s eyes were on me.
They were enthralling.
I couldn’t look away and likely wouldn’t have, had Wednesday not thrown herself around me and pulled me bodily to the dance floor.
Slightly tipsy or not, there was no way in hell I was going to dance with her.
I saw how she danced—and that was uninhibited. There was no way that I’d be dancing around her, not with the way she’d garnered every single man’s attention tonight. And yes, that included the hot one that I was staring at for most of it.
“No,” I shook off her hand. “I gotta pee!”
And hopefully find a way to get another beer without hot guy being near.
“Okay!” Wednesday chirped. “Do you want me to save you a spot?”
Save me a spot? On the dance floor? How, exactly, would she do a thing like that?
Dance around in a bigger circle?
“No,” I tried not to laugh. “I’ll catch you when you get back to the table.”
“Okay,” she cheered and clapped her hands. “Sounds good!”
I rolled my eyes and made my way to the bathroom, wondering why the hell I’d agreed to come with Wednesday in the first place. Likely, it was due to the fact that she bothered me relentlessly about it, and I always had an excuse.
That, and she’d met me at the grocery store after Michael had taken Reggie, and I’d not had her with me to use for an excuse. After learning that I was child-free, she had invited me out and I wasn’t able to come up with an excuse fast enough and was forced to bend to her will.
Which sucked, because to be honest, it would’ve been incredible to have a few hours to myself without my daughter around. A bottle of wine and the last season of Blue Bloods sounded fantastic after a day like today.
As I got to the line for the women’s restroom, I pulled out my phone and started to read a book.
I’d made it about a chapter and a half in before it was my turn, and only when I was about to head inside, did I look up.
I blinked when I saw the man—the hot guy—standing across the hallway from me, staring.
The hot guy that I realized that I knew now that I saw him up close and personal instead of from across a smoky, dark bar. The one man that had watched over me—thanks to Wolf’s insistence—when a call for all medical personnel in the area had gone out months ago.
We hadn’t spoken then. There hadn’t been enough time. And when there had been time, he’d been gone.
For the life of me I couldn’t remember his name, though. I’d been so enamored with meeting the man in person—I’d seen him around town quite a bit—that I’d momentarily blanked o
ut.
When I’d come to, with my friend leaving me, he’d nodded his head at me and I’d gone to work at hearing a woman’s pained cry.
“You enjoying that book?” he asked casually.
I cleared my throat, nodded, and—like the introvert that I was—walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
“Shit!” I cursed, loudly enough for the woman at the sink to look at me.
“Sorry,” I apologized for my cursing. “Stubbed my toe.”
She looked down at the dusty cowboy boots I had on with my jeans, and ‘hmmed’ at me.
I chose to go into the bathroom stall before I said or did anything else stupid and embarrassing.
Once I was finished, I walked to the counter and washed my hands, inspecting my face.
I had a zit on the bottom of my chin. It was the size of Atlanta.
It hurt like a mother, and I was wondering if anybody beside me could see it. With the way it was positioned, I was fairly sure that nobody could, but that didn’t stop me from covering it by keeping my eyes pointed at the ground as I exited.
Though that likely had a lot to do with the fact that there might be the man out in the hallway again, and I really didn’t want him to see the zit that hopefully only I could see. If, on the off chance, he was still leaning against that wall.
But, the moment I arrived in the hallway, I glanced up slightly to study the area and was disappointed to find that the only people there were the women waiting in the line for the bathroom.
Shit.
But then, as I passed an open doorway, I froze when I heard that voice say, “Gonna wait right here for her.”
I sped up, completely saddened to hear that my hot guy was waiting for another woman.
God, why was I so stupid?
I was a single mother. I had extra weight in my ass and thighs. I had long blonde hair, and at this point, I only had a double chin when I looked down at my iPhone. I wasn’t anyone to write home about.
At least, I didn’t think so.
The guy that I’d been staring at all night? He was too hot for me.
I was a six on the attractiveness scale. He was an eleven.
Those two didn’t mix.
Not from what I could tell, anyway.
But, as I hurried past the open doorway and into the main part of the bar, I could hear hurried boot steps behind me.
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