“She would not take that at all well.” Norcroft grimaced. Helmsley had recently wed Norcroft’s cousin in what could only be called a love match, if one believed in such things. God help him.
“So.” Gideon chose his words carefully. “Let me see if I understand. You think Judith is not as she appears because she did not succumb to your charms?”
“No. I think Judith is afraid to succumb to any man’s charms. I think she is afraid to allow her true feelings to be seen.”
“I still don’t—”
“You haven’t told me what happened last night, and as much as that is quite admirable, the very fact that you have said nothing tells me a great deal. I have never known Judith to become involved with anyone this quickly.”
Gideon narrowed his eyes. “And?”
“And I think it’s entirely possible”—Helmsley met his gaze directly—” that you could break her heart.”
“Nonsense,” Gideon scoffed. “I don’t break hearts. Besides, Judith was very clear as to the limits of our relationship. Hearts are not involved, nor do I expect them to be.”
“Still, you cannot be certain of that.” Norcroft shook his head. “Matters of this nature take on a life of their own.”
“Oh, but I am certain, Jonathon.” Gideon met his friend’s gaze firmly, so there would be no question, no mistake as to his meaning. “I think the fact that you have found what ever passes for love in this life with a wonderful woman and will spend the rest of your days in wedded bliss something of a miracle, and I wish you well. Some of us have not been, nor will we ever be, as lucky. I do not believe I am”—he thought for a moment—” fated, if you will, to find the kind of love you have found. At some point, I will meet a docile, well-behaved woman who will make a suitable wife and provide an heir as is my responsibility.
“As for Judith, she might well be the loveliest thing that has ever happened to me. I thoroughly intend to savor every moment that I am privileged to spend in her company. But this is nothing more than an enjoyable interlude. And when it is over, I shall have what I expect to be extraordinary memories to sustain me through the remainder of a proper and civilized, if perhaps a bit staid and even dull, lifetime.”
“Good God I was wrong.” Helmsley’s eyes widened and he stared at Gideon.
“I daresay you have been wrong about a great many things today and will be wrong about even more tomorrow.” Gideon rolled his gaze toward the ceiling. “What in particular are you referring to now?”
Helmsley and Norcroft exchanged knowing glances.
“It’s not Judith’s heart that is in jeopardy.” A slow grin spread across Helmsley’s face. “It’s yours.”
Chapter 5
“S weet Phebe, do not scorn me; do not, Phebe; Say that you love me not, but say not so.”
Shakepeare’s words drifted up from the stage below but Judith scarcely noticed. She sat next to Gideon in a private box and cast a surreptitious glance at his profile in the darkened theater. On stage, a nicely done production of As You Like It was moving toward intermission. Not that Judith’s attention was on the amusing tale of multiple pairs of lovers wandering through a forest.
It had been two days since she’d last seen Gideon. She would have much preferred to spend every hour, day and night, with him, but a cautious voice in the back of her mind, a voice she had never heard before, had kept her from sending him a note or, God forbid, going to him in person. She had needed some time to consider what had passed between them. Perfectly logical as she had given it little thought beforehand. While he had sent flowers and a note asking her to accompany him to the theater to night, he had not appeared in person. She was at once annoyed and grateful, and wondered if he too had needed time to reflect upon what they had begun. Or perhaps if he regretted it altogether. Of course, her own reflection was colored by Susanna’s comments.
“I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine.”
Judith admitted that what ever this was with Gideon was different from the others. Jonathon had been her first lover, three years after her husband’s death. It had not lasted long, nor did the adventures that had followed. She and Jonathon had, on occasion, shared a bed in a friendly sort of way through the subsequent years, although she was hard pressed to remember the last time that had happened. Several years, she thought. Looking back, she realized, as she had not realized before, the preliminaries with the gentlemen she became involved with, the dance, as Susanna had so tactfully put it, had always lasted far longer than the affair itself. In truth, she couldn’t recall having shared any man’s bed more than a few times before she had pleasantly ended the relationship. Beyond that, it was never, well, serious.
And she never remembered wanting to be with a man day and night.
“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”
This, what ever this was, was more akin to at first sight than anything she’d ever experienced. It was surely lust, admittedly lust of an intensity and power she’d never known before, but lust nonetheless. For what ever reason, Gideon triggered something inside her. Something uncivilized and insatiable and probably more than a little bit wicked. Sheer animal passion, perhaps, or unquenchable desire or voracious hunger, but love?
“Utterly ridiculous,” she said to herself.
Gideon leaned close, his gaze still focused on the stage, and spoke softly. “Of course it’s ridiculous, it’s a comedy.”
Horror swept through her. Had she said that aloud?
Gideon glanced at her and chuckled. “It’s not that bad really. One simply has to accept the absurdities that Shakespeare so cleverly concocts.”
“Yes.” She smiled weakly. “One does. How silly of me to have forgotten that.”
Gideon narrowed his eyes. “Is something amiss? Are you all right?”
“Fine. Really.” She cast him her brightest smile. “I am having a wonderful time.”
“As am I.” He took her hand and squeezed it gently. Her stomach fluttered at his touch.
A moment later, applause rang from the audience and the curtain dropped, marking an intermission. Gideon was still staring at her with a charmingly bemused smile on his lips.
“What ever are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that I have no idea how I came to be here but I am eternally grateful that I am.” He raised her hand and bent to brush a kiss across it, but his gaze remained fixed firmly on hers. “I would not want to be anywhere else with anyone else.”
She forced a teasing note to her voice. “What a lovely thing to say.”
“Oh, I say lovely things all the time. You shall have to get used to that.”
She resisted the urge to pull her hand free. “You do realize everyone in the theater is staring at us?”
He straightened but kept her hand firmly clasped in his. “I daresay every man here would cheerfully slit my throat for the opportunity to take my place.”
She laughed. “And what of the women?”
“I suspect the women would cheerfully slit your throat.”
She raised a brow. “To be with you?”
“Modesty forbids my agreeing with you but…” He grinned in a knowing manner that would indeed have any woman made of flesh and blood swooning with anticipation. “If I were to kiss you right here and now I would wager every woman in the theater would happily kill to be in your shoes.”
“If you were to kiss me right here and now there would be a scandal of immense proportions.”
“Indeed there would.” He flashed that wicked grin again and her knees weakened. “But well worth it nonetheless.”
She shook her head. “There will be enough for the gossips tomorrow simply because we have been seen together.”
“I didn’t think gossip bothered you. I thought you liked the reputation you have.”
“I do and it doesn’t,” she said quickly, then sighed. “It does a little, I suppose. I have lived my life to suit myself, and there is a price for that. Society
is not generally forgiving of those who do not adhere to its rules.”
“Yet you have lived that life in a discreet manner and have had few ill effects from breaking those rules.”
“No, I’ve been fortunate.” She had indeed been lucky. She had not been ostracized from society for a number of reasons. Discretion of course was at the top of the list. She was a widow, which allowed her certain freedoms. She’d never been knowingly involved with a man who was either married or betrothed. And she had a great deal of money. Any number of things in this world were forgivable if one had a great deal of money.
“And clever.”
She smiled. “Definitely clever.”
“I have always found the only thing I like as much as a beautiful woman is one who is as clever as she is lovely.”
“I don’t believe you for a moment.” She laughed. “You’re the kind of man who doesn’t want his opinions or anything else challenged by a mere female.”
He winced. “That’s rather unkind of you.” He grinned. “True but unkind.” He paused for a moment. “I will admit I never saw the appeal of an intelligent, in de pen dent woman until I met you.”
“You are entirely too charming, my lord.” She drew a deep breath. “It is a rather unsettling surprise, this continuing discovery that you are not at all as I thought you were.”
He gasped. “You did not think I was charming?”
“A blind woman long dead could see your charm,” she said wryly.
“You thought me arrogant though.” He heaved a forlorn sigh. “I was quite distressed by the charge.”
“You were not,” she scoffed. “You admitted it.”
“I did, didn’t I. You can attest then to my honesty.” He leaned a shade closer. “What else do you think I am?”
She drew her brows together. “Flaws, you mean?”
“Good God, no. I am all too aware of my flaws. Tell me how I am different than you expected.” His gaze searched hers as if he were looking for something quite, quite naughty. Or something special.
Without warning, the moment changed. The very air between them seemed alive with promise, with anticipation and desire. She could feel the beat of her heart in her chest.
“I thought you were cold.”
“I am exceptionally warm.” His voice was low and seductive.
She swallowed hard. “I thought you were aloof. Reserved.”
He leaned even closer. “I am as friendly as a new pup.”
“You are not.” She laughed. “But you are most amusing. I did not expect that. I did not expect you to make me laugh.”
“I very much like making you laugh.” In spite of his words, the look in his eyes had little to do with laughter. He leaned closer. There was scarcely more than a few inches between his lips and hers. “And making you sigh with delight.” She could, indeed, she should move back and put a respectable distance between them. But his gaze held her mesmerized and she had no desire to move in any direction but his. “And gasp with plea sure. And I especially like making you make that funny little noise you make when—”
A sharp rap sounded at the door of the box. Heat washed up her face and she jerked away from him. He smiled in an overly satisfied manner, as if he knew exactly the effect his words had on her, and straightened. The door swung open. A matronly woman of indeterminate age and indomitable attitude swept into the box like an avenging angel.
“Gideon, my dear boy, I had no idea you would be at the theater to night.”
Gideon rose to his feet in an easy manner. “Of course you did, Aunt Louisa. I mentioned it to you only this afternoon.”
“It must have slipped my mind. My memory isn’t what it used to be.” The lady heaved a dramatic sigh. “I’m getting quite old, you know.”
Gideon shook his head. “You’ve scarcely passed your fiftieth year, your memory is excellent, and nothing slips your mind.”
“Nonsense. My mind and my body are failing even as we speak.” She angled her cheek toward him. “Now do greet me properly as if you are pleased to see me and I am not simply an unwelcome intrusion.”
“Even if you are?” He dutifully brushed a kiss across her cheek.
“Especially if I am.”
“You know Lady Chester, I believe?” Gideon said.
“No, Gideon. I have seen her on occasion but I don’t think we have actually met.” The older lady favored Judith with a cordial smile. In spite of her agreeable manner, Judith had the distinct feeling Gideon’s aunt’s appearance was not merely a social pleasantry.
“Aunt Louisa, may I present Lady Chester. Lady Chester, this is my aunt, Lady Radbury.”
“It is a plea sure to meet you,” Judith said, her manner as cordial as the older woman’s smile and every bit as feigned. “Lord Warton speaks of you fondly.”
Lady Radbury snorted. “I can’t imagine Gideon speaks of me at all, let alone fondly.”
“When I do speak of you, Aunt Louisa,” Gideon said with a coolness that belied the amusement in his eyes, “it is with great fondness.”
“Only because I have a great deal of money.”
“I have a great deal of money.” Gideon’s voice was firm, and Judith had the distinct impression this discussion was not new. “I do not need yours.”
“More’s the pity.” Lady Radbury shook her head. “It’s a dreadful thing when a woman in my position can’t threaten her relatives with impoverishment to get what she wants.” She cast Gideon an annoyed glare. “You could at least let me have that simple joy, Gideon.”
“No doubt I should squander my fortune in an attempt to make you happy,” Gideon said dryly.
“That would be lovely and much appreciated.” She settled into Gideon’s vacated seat, her gaze fixed firmly on Judith. “Now then, be a good nephew and fetch us some refreshment. I should like a private word with Lady Chester.”
Gideon glanced from his aunt to Judith and back. “No.”
“No?” Lady Radbury raised a brow. “What do you mean, no?”
“I mean absolutely not,” Gideon said smoothly. “I don’t think that’s particularly wise.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, my boy. I do not intend to eat her alive and I daresay Lady Chester can take care of herself.”
“Indeed I can although I doubt I shall need to.” Judith’s gaze met Gideon’s. “I think a chat with your aunt will be most delightful. Besides, I find I too am somewhat parched.”
Gideon shook his head in a warning manner. “This is not a good idea.”
Lady Radbury huffed. “I don’t know what you think I’m going to do.” She nodded at Judith. “I am generally quite well mannered. Indeed, I can be extremely charming when I wish to be.”
“See that you are.” There was a distinct threat in Gideon’s voice. He looked at Judith. “Are you certain?” A hint of concern showed in his eyes. The loveliest feeling of warmth washed through her.
“I am.” Judith cast him a brilliant smile.
“Very well then.” He glanced at his aunt. “Behave yourself.” He nodded at Judith. “I shall not be long.”
“Do close the door behind you.” Lady Radbury waved him away.
Gideon cast a last glance at Judith and then took his leave.
“Are you enjoying the play thus far?” Lady Radbury asked.
“Indeed I am. It’s quite well done,” Judith said with a smile. Idle chatter was not what she expected from Lady Radbury. This was no doubt a preliminary. “I always enjoy Shakespeare. As You Like It is one of my favorites.”
“Really?” Lady Radbury’s brow furrowed. “I find it a bit silly. All that ‘who ever loved that loved not at first sight’ nonsense.”
“You think it nonsense?”
“Most certainly.” She pinned Judith with a firm stare. “Don’t you?”
“Not at all. I find it…” Judith thought for a moment. “Hopeful, I think. Promising. Very much an ideal.”
“Perhaps.” Lady Radbury nodded in a thoughtful manner. “You’re looking lovely th
is evening, my dear, but then you always do.”
“How very kind of you to say so,” Judith said, wondering when the older woman would dispense with pleasantries and get to the true purpose of this chat. Unless she planned on discussing the weather next.
“Although we have never met, I am well aware of you.”
Apparently the weather would be dispensed with. Judith braced herself. “Is that good or bad?”
“Both.” Lady Radbury studied her for a moment. “Before I continue, I should tell you that while I have been a widow for these past twenty years, I have not spent the last two decades entirely without male companionship.”
“Really,” Judith said faintly. This was not at all what she had expected.
“We have a great deal in common, you and I. We both have the means, financially, to live our lives exactly as we see fit. And to do so without the undue interference of men. We are extraordinarily lucky.”
Judith nodded slowly but remained silent. Better to hear exactly what Gideon’s aunt had to say.
“So you see, my dear, I understand you far better than you think. However.” She caught Judith’s gaze and leaned forward slightly. “I think you are entirely wrong for my nephew.”
“Do you?” Judith said slowly.
“Yes I do.” Lady Radbury settled back in her chair. “First of all, you are far too intelligent for him as well as too in de pen dent. He needs a woman who will, without question, live her life for him and him alone. And be eternally grateful in the process.”
“Lady Radbury, I—”
“Beyond that, you’re really too old for him.”
“Too old?”
“Yes.” Lady Radbury’s assessing gaze swept over Judith. “You can’t be more than a year or two younger than he is.”
“I’m thirty,” Judith said faintly. “Barely.”
“Exactly. Lord knows, I have tried to introduce him to proper young women through the years but thus far he has not been especially interested. In truth I have not seen him taken with a woman, any woman, until you.”
“We have scarcely—”
“He brought up your name more than a month ago.” Lady Radbury met Judith’s gaze directly. “Oh, he was very casual about it, as if it was of no significance whatsoever, but he is not as clever as he thinks and I am far more clever than he suspects. To night is the first time I can recall his being seen in public with a woman in a very long time.” She paused as if debating the wisdom of her next words. “What do you know of Gideon’s past?”
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