by Skyler Wood
Vex slotted one of the spheres in place and it flashed a brilliant purple before ejecting into the air and beginning to spin. The image of a soldier appeared, a massive orc clad in armor covered in spikes, and he was wielding an enormous axe.
Cosmo took a deep breath, reminding himself that this was illusion magic. Taking a step forward, Cosmo put his hand through the orc. It met only the briefest sort of resistance.
"An illusionary soldier," Cosmo said.
"No, an illusionary army," came a voice from behind them.
Cosmo turned his head. The woman standing behind them had hair the white of fresh snow, and a dress that looked to be mostly made of ice crystals. The air around her swirled with frost.
Vex threw the wand at the woman but it was deflected with a barrier of ice that formed, spinning off to clatter on the floor.
"Don't try it. I'm not trying to kill you, not this time, but I will."
"You're the elementalist," Vex said.
"You can call me Taiga. Now let's go, we need to figure out what to do with you."
36
"So, you tried to kill us, but we got attacked by water and earth, and you're clearly ... uh ... frost," Vex said.
"Isn't frost water?" Cosmo asked.
"I guess it is, but that never made any sense to me. It's like people couldn't figure out what else to do with water. But really, thermal control for both fire and ice seems like it should be both," Vex said.
Taiga explained, "My elemental alignment shifts depending on the day, and the entire system is a pain in my ass. I couldn't get some sort of easy magic like necromancy. Nobody has to deal with things like that with necromancy. Just poof, corpse servants."
"So what are you doing with the illusionary army?" Cosmo asked.
"Spill all their plans?" Taiga asked with a faint grin. "It has some appeal. But not now."
A flow of ice pushed the glass spheres on the floor aside to make a path for them as they walked and Taiga led them to a bedroom. Once Cosmo and Vex were inside she waved a hand and a wall of ice formed, completely sealing the exit and locking them in. Beyond the ice wall they saw Taiga walk away.
"Well at least there's a bed," Vex said, sprawling out on it.
"Maybe you could do a little less relaxing and a little more escaping," Cosmo said, looking around the room.
Unlike most of the rooms on the floor, this one still had the furnishings. Given the lack of any dust that meant it was probably still in use. A look in the wardrobe revealed a lot of gray.
"Someone from the Assembly lives here," Cosmo said.
"Or visits. Unless you want us to find that mage, we need to give it some time," Vex said.
"Do you think you'll be able to melt through that ice wall?"
Vex glanced at it and shook her head. "It would be like when I tried to set fire to those carts. My weak magic versus stronger magic just isn't going to do anything at all."
The only room attached to the bedroom was a small bath. Cosmo was glad to have it in case their captivity went on for awhile, but it didn't offer any way to escape.
"Maybe the adventurers will come looking for us?" Cosmo said.
"And what? Stab her in the face? I guess that would work. This is direct magic working. Maybe once she gets too far from it and some time passes, it will start to melt," Vex said.
"And you figure she's headed back to the city to report what happened," Cosmo said. "We just have to wait and hope she doesn't come back soon enough?"
"Of course she is, and yes."
Perhaps so, but there wasn't a sign of anything happening. Then, a long eight hours later, the ice wall rippled and became one made out of stone. By that time Vex had started making serious escape attempts, wielding her considerable strength against every wall in an attempt to find a weakness. There wasn't one.
A full day had passed and they were getting very hungry when the barrier finally parted. Taiga looked far different than the last time. Dark brown hair and powerfully muscled, wearing an outfit formed of emeralds.
Vex was on her in an instant. With a negligent wave of Taiga's hand the demoness was flying across the room and, moments later, bound to the wall with shackles of stone.
"Enough, enough. I'm not here to kill you," Taiga said, settling down into a seat of stone that rose from the floor to meet her.
"Not that I'm not grateful to hear it, but why not? You tried twice before," Cosmo said.
"Is that what you think?" Taiga asked. "Do I seem like the sort of woman who has trouble dealing with you?"
The restraints holding Vex to the wall vanished and Vex dropped to a crouch.
"You flooded my house," Vex said.
"I did. Before I answer questions, can you pay for them? My employer's grand designs have come to a head and suddenly their compensation is ... lacking," Taiga said.
Cosmo shared a look at Vex. They didn't have much of a budget even to run the newspaper, and promising the queen's money to anybody seemed a quick way to earn her ire.
"You're a mercenary? We control the paper. We control what is said about you, how you are mentioned. We can give you something more valuable than gold. A reputation," Vex said.
"I think you will find me a woman of intelligence, which means I realize reputation is not more valuable than gold. Still, if it is the only coin you have we can work something out," Taiga said.
"We have powerful friends and if you want to hurt the Assembly we're the way to do it," Vex said.
Taiga gestured and a pair of seats formed. "Then let me play informant. My orders were never to kill you, just to put a scare into you."
"Why?" Cosmo asked.
Taiga directed a flat stare her way. "To get you looking for your killer. To get you against the Assembly."
Cosmo wasn't going to ask why again, he wasn't.
"Why?" Vex asked.
Cosmo reflected that it was good to have a partner.
"You don't know how much they hate it, those people in gray. How much they regret the entire thing. Democracy—when the people put them in power, they think they can blame them for anything."
"You can't be serious. This entire thing is the Assembly ... what? Plotting the downfall of themselves?" Vex asked.
"The good king would never have allowed it. An experienced evil monarch would have seen through their schemes and might have interfered. This was the perfect time for them to act," Taiga said.
"She has to be lying, right boss?" Vex asked.
Disrupting the city and throwing everything into a state of chaos. Raising tensions and then revealing their own abuses. If this was their plan, it could work.
37
"So what about those orbs? What are you doing there?" Vex asked.
"That might be better shown than told, follow me," Taiga said, rising back to her feet. The chairs vanished as soon as she did so—it was a shame that Vex and Cosmo hadn't quite gotten to their feet yet.
"We just sat down," Vex said.
"And now you are standing," Taiga said.
"She gets hard-hearted when she's stone," Cosmo said.
"I actually do. Another reason elementalism is pretty much the worst sort of magic," Taiga said.
The tower looked different than when they'd arrived. The magical spheres that littered every portion of the floor were gone.
"They carried out their plan," Cosmo said.
"More they are in the process of carrying it out. I think you'll be impressed at what they've wrought," Taiga said.
Taiga led them to a room that looked much like the one they'd originally appeared in, another obelisk topped by a crystal sphere. Taiga gestured and suddenly they were elsewhere.
They were still high, at the top of a tower and open to the air. One of the watchtowers along the Pipopolis wall, with a view over the city.
"How many teleporters did Lady Vulpine have?" Cosmo asked.
"This is not actually one of hers, but I tied into the city network. The head of the guard hates stairs," Taiga said.
"Boss,
look outside the gates," Vex said.
Cosmo could see it. It wasn't an army of illusionary orcs outside those gates, but rather one of elves. Lines of elves in silver and white armor, and with bows in hand.
"And those aren't real either," Cosmo said.
"Stare at them. You'll see they don't really do anything apart from a minor bit of swaying. If they wanted full motion they should have paid more," Taiga said.
"So what are they hoping to accomplish with all this?"
"Done with the questions. Remember my write-up as the highly skilled mercenary that I am. I'm gone before all this explodes," Taiga said. She reached out to the obelisk and with a flicker was gone.
"That was not the villainous monologue we were promised," Vex said, glaring at where the elementalist had vanished.
"It was enough. Let's get back to the paper. We can figure out from there what to do about all of this," Cosmo said.
The streets were quieter than usual. Cosmo wasn't surprised, with what appeared to be an army not so far outside the gates. When they arrived at the Adventurers Guild the place was lacking in adventurers. They must have remained by the tower waiting for them to return.
The press was happy to see them at least, bouncing in circles around them.
"We've got a problem, boss," Vex said, handing Cosmo two papers.
Cosmo looked them over. They were both from today, although the date was all they had in common. The one had a headline concerning a raise in tariffs. The other led with a story about a plot from the Assembly to overthrow the queen, and the queen's expected response to squash it.
"Did they run two editions?" Cosmo asked.
"I don't think so, boss. Notice what is missing."
Vex was right. The edition with the tariffs had an armory coupon and more pictures of the new fashionable armor line. The edition regarding the Assembly did not.
"They didn't destroy the mechanical press. We thought they had, but they must have just moved it. They kept hold of it to do this," Cosmo said.
"They intended to do this all along. Maybe the queen got wind of it, maybe that's why she sent us to the paper in the first place," Vex said.
Maybe. There was no way to know that for sure, but it didn't really matter. Whether the Assembly had planned it all along or was reacting to events as they occurred, the end result was the same.
"What we have to decide is—are we going to do anything about it?" Cosmo said.
"Why wouldn't we? They attacked us, they're manipulating the whole city," Vex said.
"Because ultimately this entire plot seems to be for one reason. They are sick of having to govern, they want to restore the absolute power of the monarchy," Cosmo said.
Vex started to reply and then she slumped into a seat. "Which the queen might be all for—maybe. Although if she was, would she have sent us in the first place?"
"The time for figuring out what she does or doesn't know is past. If we're going to do something, if we even can, we have a narrow window to do it. If we're going to act, the time is now," Cosmo said.
"Who are we to make that choice?"
"If we don't, it's made for us by other people," Cosmo said.
"Telling the truth is maybe what the paper is all about. Or at least what we should aim for," Vex said.
"There are a lot of truths. Before that, we're responsible to this city," Cosmo said. "I think the queen is probably better for this city than the Assembly, but we aren't always going to have this queen."
"Then we stop this," Vex said.
"The plan has to be for one illusionary army to stomp the other. They'll bring in the orcs we saw and say the queen crushed their plans, just like the paper did," Cosmo said.
"Then stopping that army is first off. I've still got one of the spheres on me. If I get it to the bards maybe they can do something. They're good at illusion magic."
"Right, and I'll get to the palace. If they plan some sort of grand surrender it will be there. They'll try to work the crowds into a frenzy and not give the queen any choice but to accept," Cosmo said.
"Will you be able to get there? Riotous crowds are ... uh ... riotous," Vex said.
Cosmo glanced at the press, still bouncing up and down, and he sighed. "I think I've got a ride."
38
People went flying as the press plowed through them. Cosmo had to give the press this, it wasn't one to let walls, crowds, or stalls of delicate glassware get in its way.
"Free press, coming through," Cosmo shouted, desperately hanging on with one hand while he waved his press hat with the other.
The crowds got thicker around the palace. It didn't deter the press.
The heavily armored orcs at the palace gates did a better job of that, finally bringing the press to a halt with a massive fist to either side.
Cosmo went tumbling off as it halted, rolling on the ground and coming to a stop at the feet of an elf.
"Mister Cogspinner. Her Majesty has been expecting you," Svenal said.
Cosmo was led into the throne room. There was already a crowd of peasants present, as well as a small delegation in gray, and a mage had conjured a projection of the scene outside the city with the elven army.
Vanya was lounging on her throne, her slouched posture showing that she was well into her lazy ruler role. Still, it didn't escape Cosmo how quickly her eyes flicked towards him at his arrival.
"Majesty," Cosmo said, executing an awkward bow.
"Mister Cogspinner," Vanya said with an exaggerated yawn. "I'm told you uncovered quite the conspiracy. The city is tearing itself apart over it. I suppose you are here to be congratulated."
"Not quite yet, Majesty. I know it doesn't look like it, but everything is under control. Just leave it to me."
Vanya studied him with a lingering look that showed she was really trying to decide whether or not to break her persona, and in the end she gave a half-hearted wave of one hand. "As you like, Mister Cogspinner."
"Nobody can help you," Unok said. The wizened old man looked just as friendly as the last time Cosmo had met him at Assembly Hall. "Although you need have no fear. This city needs only one government, but we have no intent of seeing you harmed. The citizens would never stand for that."
"We don't care that much," said one of the peasants in the room.
“Go ahead and kill each other all you want. Just not us, you know.”
“Definitely not us.”
Cosmo thought the entire thing a bit heavy-handed. It was the most risky part of the Assembly's plan though—if they gave the queen absolute power they put themselves all at risk.
At this point, the issue with the army was out of his hands. Cosmo's role, if he was to have one, would come later. For now he had to depend on his friend, his partner.
Twenty minutes later and Cosmo could tell that the representatives of the Assembly were starting to get jumpy. Outside the city the ranks of illusionary elves still stood, but nothing had come to face them.
Cosmo felt a hand rest on his shoulder and he looked up to find Moira leaning on him, a grin on the bard's face.
"You're in good spirits. I hope this means I'm not about to be executed," Cosmo said.
"I don't know about that, but we figured out those spheres and broke into their network. I made it here just in time, it should be any moment now," Moira said.
In the projection the army of elves shimmered and with a blink vanished.
Unok wasted no time in stepping forward, raising his hands. "The queen has disintegrated an entire army with her will! Truly you are more formidable than we'd have ever imagined."
The peasants muttered amongst themselves.
"Queen did that?"
"Wouldn't want to make her mad."
"Think she could do that to my cousin?"
Moira leaned in to whisper in Cosmo's ear. "The orc half are already flying throughout the city. The elvish ones will be joining them soon enough. We're sending out a feed of what is happening in this room."
Great, if
the entire city wasn't watching already, they would be soon enough.
Cosmo stepped forward. "Cosmo Cogspinner of the Daily Scroll. So you are claiming that army was real and not one made up entirely of illusions?"
Unok gave a sad smile. "Your own paper has been caught up in our schemes more than once. A great failure for us, to be sure, although a successful one for yourself and the queen. I fear you've outplayed us at every turn."
"Paper did do that. Just like the old one did, all about the Assembly's schemes," said a peasant.
"And them girls, the ones who weren't wearing much."
“Clearly a man’s idea.”
"Assembly is putting the whole city in danger they are. Stinking bureaucrats."
Unok had a smug look on his face. The only standing Cosmo had was the newspaper and Unok didn't see how Cosmo could do anything about that.
Cosmo walked over to Svenal. The elf had his arms folded and was looking disapproving of this whole affair.
"Would you tell me, Svenal, when you first met me, why was I at the palace?" Cosmo asked.
"You were under arrest for fraud, cheating, and lying to the guard," Svenal said with clipped tones.
"So lying in three different forms. And our queen, generous soul that she is, gives me a second chance by putting me in charge of the city paper? So what do you think I did with it?" "Reformed yourself into a tirelessly loyal agent who hunted us down no matter what we schemed," Unok said.
"I filled the pages of the paper with scantily clad women because I wanted to sell papers. This entire city is in a panic, because they believed what the paper had to say, but the people need not worry. No matter how dire the contents of the paper, the people need never be afraid—for you see, there is something wonderful you need to learn about. Something that makes the whole world a little bit safer, a little bit brighter. Fake news,” Cosmo said.
"Fake news?"
"Oh, there might be a little bit of truth. The Assembly did scheme, but really they weren't very good at it. The Queen is surely a little bit capable but not so much you need to worry. Fake news,”
Unok stepped forward. "You understate your capabilities, good gnome."