Aside from family gatherings, she hadn’t had a birthday party since she was ten.
“I… This is lovely.” She looked around. Gabi, Kim, Uzuri, Linda, Beth, and Jessica were lounging on the U-shaped sectional. Andrea and Rainie had chairs. Cat, Olivia, and Kari were seated on the floor. Shadowkittens and Dommes. Quite the mixture.
“It’s about time you arrived,” Olivia said from the floor. “We’re critiquing porn techniques.”
Anne glanced at the wide-screen television where a fairly studly male was bending over a naked female. She frowned. “He’s going to kill the woman tying her like that.”
“See?” Andrea waved her hand at Kim. “That’s what I said. Scarves get too thin and dig in too much and are impossible to unknot.”
“True enough,” Kim answered, “And he’s doing it wrong. But I still think scarves are hot.”
“The bondage is bad enough.” Gabi tugged at her blue-streaked strand of hair. “But the dialogue? That’s seriously lame.”
“Birthday cake soon,” Sally announced to the room. “What are you drinking, Anne? I have margaritas, beer, wine, and sodas.”
Margaritas? Anne’s mouth almost watered. Dammit. “I’d love a margarita, but I can’t. An informant called, so I scheduled my bail bond recovery team to get together at four a.m. We’re almost out of time before forfeiture of the bond, so we have to get the skip now—which means no alcohol for me.” She couldn’t afford to be impaired.
“Aww, that’s too bad.” Sally gave her a sympathetic hug. “Diet Coke then?”
“’Fraid so.” Mistresses don’t pout. She totally wanted to sulk.
“Sit over here, Anne.” Olivia patted the floor beside her.
Anne navigated her way across the room, getting hugs and hand squeezes from everyone. By the time she sat down between Olivia and Kari, a warm candle of happiness glowed in her chest. Friends. A birthday party. Who knew?
“Oh, baby. Take me.” On the television, the actor pushed the actress’s legs apart with little finesse, accompanied by groaning—from the Shadowkittens.
Jessica joined the actor in another groan of “Oh, baby,” before throwing a potato chip at the television. “Gag me. They need better script writers.”
“It must be difficult to write sex dialogue, don’t you think?” Linda was around forty and often served as the voice of reason, even when well hammered. “I mean, how many of your men talk during the…act? I’d have to admit, Sam isn’t exactly chatty.”
Anne sputtered a laugh. Linda’s silver-haired rancher had terse down to a science—and he’d totally whip his submissive’s ass if he knew she’d shared. Not that anyone was about to tell him.
Ben wasn’t exactly talkative during sex either, although when he did speak… “Please. Mistress. I’d like to taste more.” “Did you know you’re abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous when you come?” Anne felt her bones begin to melt at just the memory. Too many memories, actually. She’d heard his rough voice in her dreams, felt his hands, his mouth—
Hooting laughter broke into her thoughts.
“How about if Studly Dumbass says something like this?” Gabi hit MUTE on the remote and turned to Kim, beside her on the sectional. “Cum-bucket, brace yourself.”
Kim blinked and leaned away. “What?”
Gabi pretended to unzip her jeans and withdraw an obviously massive cock. The waggle she gave her pretend-erection was truly obscene. In a deep voice, she announced, “My ginormous slit-eyed demon’s gonna invade your pretty pink fortress. Oh yeah, my cunt thumper’s gonna penetrate that cocksocket.”
Cheers filled the room even as Kim made a barfing noise. “You call that better?”
“Well, yeah. Far more imaginative than ‘Ugh, grunt. Ugh. Oh, baby,’ like a caveman.” Gabi punched Kim in the arm. “So, nay-sayer, you’re the female in the bed. See if you can do better.”
Kim studied the television where the actor was stroking his cock, preparing to do some serious work. “Right.” She pressed her hands to her cheeks. “Oh, oh, oh, look at you. My goodness, your Puff, the One-eyed Dragon is so tall and straight. I am overwhelmed with my womanly lust. My meat curtains are soaked. Fuck my love canal, now.”
The moans around the room almost matched those starting on the screen.
“Meat curtains?” Farther down the sectional, Linda stared at Kim in disbelief, turned to Sally. “Wooman, I need a really big drink.” She waved a hand a Gabi. “One that’s bigger than that cock.”
Shoulders shaking, Sally headed for the kitchen. “Coming right up.”
Several hours later, butt still on the floor, Anne leaned her shoulders back against the couch. The noise level hadn’t abated, although fewer guests were in the room. Jessica and Kari had gone home to their children. Andrea had a cleaning job to see to; Cat had to go to work early. Jake had picked up Rainie and Gabi, leaving only Uzuri, Sally, Kim, Beth, Olivia, and Linda.
Laughter and conversation flowed around her, as cheerful as the bright helium balloons bopping on the high ceiling.
What a wonderful way to survive turning thirty-five. And how cleverly Sally had laid the trap. No wonder Galen and Vance were always half-complaining, half-boasting about how sneaky their fun-loving submissive was.
Anne rubbed her arm against Olivia’s, happiness a glow inside her as she glanced around the room. At one time, she hadn’t thought she could be friends with submissives. But, somehow, with these women, the Mistress-submissive dynamic had eroded over the years. She smiled. The last reserves had disappeared as she taught the Shadowkittens self-defense. Who could maintain a distance when delivering victory whoops for a subbie who’d finally succeeded in tossing the Mistress on her ass?
Yet—although she’d attended her friends’ birthday parties—she’d never thought they’d throw one for her. But they had.
She wrapped her arms around herself, so filled with the warm ‘n’ fuzzy feelings—as Gabi would say—that she had trouble containing them all.
“Hold’em up, ladies. Who’s empty?” Sally emerged from the kitchen. Holding a pitcher of margaritas, she topped off any needy glass on her way through. “I have another Coke for you, Anne.”
“Thank you, Sally.” She pushed herself up to accept the can, heard an “ooof” from Olivia who sat beside her, and realized her support was the Domme’s stomach. “Oops. Sorry.”
“If you were a subbie, I’d make you regret that. I think you took out my liver—despite the ample padding I have around it,” Olivia said in her crisp voice. Her gaze swept over Anne. “I don’t know how you stay so slender.”
“I still can’t believe she’s thirty-five,” Sally said. “I’ve always wanted a body like yours, Anne. We probably weigh the same and I’m four inches shorter.”
“Try getting a job where you have to keep up with walking, talking testosterone-factories.” Anne held up an arm and flexed her biceps. “But see? I have muscles.”
“Oooo’s” and “aaaaahhhh’s” filled the room.
Her mock-indignant glare had no effect. “I’ll have you know it takes work to maintain all that is me.” She gestured to her lean, mean fighting machine…and earned a barrage of popcorn. “But honestly? It’s only because being slower or weaker would put my teammates at risk.”
“I hate sweating. I think I’d rather have a few extra dimples around my hips. Besides, Galen appreciates them.” Smiling, Sally turned toward the massive U-shaped sectional. “Anyone else?”
On the right end of the sectional, Uzuri pointed at the television screen. “I keep forgetting to drink. Just look at that man.”
After the arrival of “meat curtains,” and the competition for worst penis slang, porn had been supplanted by classic chick flicks. Anne turned to see Patrick Swayze showing Jennifer Grey how to dance. Mmm-mmm-mmm. “Now that is one yummy boy. Makes me want to get out my cuffs and collar.”
Dominating someone with that bottomless self-confidence would probably be similar to doing a scene with Ben…and was incredibly tempting.
Next to Uzuri, Sally heaved a lusty sigh. “I bet Swayze could’ve taught even me to dance.”
“Doubtful,” Kim said judiciously, “although, at least, you’d have enjoyed failing.”
“Oh, rude!” Uzuri threw a kernel of popcorn at her.
“Hey, no throwing the popcorn.” Sally shook her head at the floor, littered with popcorn, chips, and colorful pillows. “Galen’s going to kill me when he sees this mess.”
“You shouldn’t have put on that really bad movie if you didn’t want popcorn thrown at the screen,” Kim said in a righteous tone.
“You diss my porn, foolish woman? I’m going to tell your Master Raoul what you called his cock.” Sally hummed “Puff, the Magic Dragon.”
Linda choked on her drink. Uzuri snorted. Anne and Olivia laughed.
Kim’s mouth dropped open. “You wouldn’t.”
Sally hummed louder.
“Hey, it’s my turn to make Anne a toast.” Beth put down the recliner section of the couch and struggled to her feet, swaying slightly.
“I don’t know what you’re going to toast to, Beth.” Anne smiled up at the slender redhead—one of the most courageous women she knew. Actually, she was proud to call each and every one of the women in the room a friend. “So far, I’ve been wished a long life, wealth, happiness and”—she grinned at Sally—“and great, inventive sex, at which, just so you know, I’m already superb.”
Sally threw a popcorn at her.
“You threw popcorn!” Uzuri eyed Sally narrowly. “I’m going to tell your Masters. They’ll have you cleaning the place on your hands and knees.”
“Naked,” Olivia contributed.
“Oh yes. Definitely naked.” Kim waggled her eyebrows. “Master R has a very…aggressive…reaction if I get naked to scrub the floors.”
“Really?” Sally’s response was so intrigued, everyone laughed.
“Ahem.” Beth lifted her glass. “To Anne. May you find your ultimate man and may his needs match what you want to give, and vice versa.”
“Man?” Kim grinned at Beth. “Girlfriend, haven’t you noticed Anne prefers pretty boys?”
When Beth hesitated, Anne said warmly, “That was a lovely blessing. Thank you.”
Beth dropped onto the couch with a bounce and put her feet back up. “Nolan said Anne played with Ben, and he’s sure not a boy.”
No, he certainly isn’t.
“I’m still surprised that Z didn’t kill you for messing with his guard,” Olivia said. “But, since he didn’t, will you be taking Ben on as a slave?”
Sally planted herself on the arm of the sectional beside Uzuri, looking expectant. Linda leaned forward.
“What a nosy bunch. I should string you all up to a cross and beat on your butts for a while.”
She only got grins back along with a muttered, “Just try it, chickie,” from Olivia.
“There’s no respect left in the world for over-the-hill Mistresses,” Anne said mournfully. Then again, she’d listened to all of their stories, had lent a shoulder for tears, had given advice.
She just wasn’t used to sharing her own.
Military brats made casual friends at the drop of a hat—and learned how much it hurt to lose the close ones. She hadn’t had a girlfriend since she was ten. But she had several now. And friendship was a two-way street, wasn’t it?
She still had to draw in some air before she could speak. “No, I won’t take Ben on. Olivia, you were right. Messing with Z’s guard dog isn’t a smart move.”
“Does he not suit you?” Linda asked in her beautifully melodic voice. “I saw some of your scene and you both looked…complete.”
The sweet remark and the memory of the sheer…rightness…of the scene silenced Anne for a moment.
Kim grinned. “Cullen talked to Raoul about it. He was all worried you’d squish Ben’s balls or something.”
“He was?” Anne winced, the hurt as unexpected as a paper cut. Surely, Cullen knew she’d never give a submissive more than he wanted—and sometimes not even that.
“Ohh, squish the balls. Please!” Sally bounced on the sectional. “You know how Ben’s so picky about our shoes. Almost nothing is good enough, so then you get the growl. ‘Take those shoes off.’ But once Anne finishes torturing his manly bits, he’ll sound like this”—she pitched her voice to a high falsetto—“Take dos shoes oooff.”
As the women broke out in laughter, Anne choked on her drink and grinned. She’d have to tell Ben what Sally had said.
Or not. Distance would be best.
How pitiful that just hearing his name had sped up her pulse. She still remembered the feel of his callused hands caressing her breasts. And wouldn’t she just love to tie him to a cross, so she could run her own hands all over him.
Stop. Now. Stay in the real world, not fantasyland. “You do realize, if a subbie could still talk, I’d feel as if I fell down on the job.”
“Oooh, poor Ben,” Sally said, doing a mime where a speechless Ben motioned to Uzuri to remove her shoes.
Uzuri blinked her imaginary confusion and pretended to hand Ben her thong instead.
Sally gaped and flung the thong from her in mortification.
“Oh, that’s too realistic.” Linda clapped. “Isn’t it cute how poor Ben still becomes embarrassed?”
“He blushes beautifully. I must say, he’s quite the hunk, if you prefer the masculine gender. And, from what I saw when Anne had him, he has a lot to squish.” Olivia’s cupped hands showed poor Ben had watermelon-sized testicles.
Poor Ben had better never hear how the women discussed him or he’d be blushing for a month.
Olivia continued, “I also noticed you didn’t push the pain when you scened with him. Did he make that a hard limit?”
“No.” Anne took a sip and studied the color of her drink. “I just didn’t have any urge to make him scream. I haven’t needed that in a while.”
Silence.
“But you were with Joey, and he’s a total pain-slut.” Sally yelped when Uzuri elbowed her in the ribs.
“You’re being impolite,” Uzuri scolded. Despite being a covert prankster, she was also the most respectful and courteous of the Shadowkittens.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t—”
“It’s all right, Sally,” Anne said. “I’m over Joey.” Although she had to admit his absence had created an aching void in her life. But, no matter how delightful he’d been, Joey’s dependence had become exhausting. “He wanted a full-time Mistress and, as you said, a higher level of pain.”
Olivia tilted her head. “I’ve noticed when your scenes contain more dominance than sadism, you appear most satisfied.”
“If your scenes are changing, are you changing as well?” Linda asked softly.
Changing. The foul word chilled Anne’s skin like the spray from a sleet storm. On the screen, Jennifer Grey was confronting her father for the first time. “Baby” was growing up, becoming a woman. I’m already a woman. Way past all that.
“You know, I really hate that word—change.” Anne’s voice came out thin. Small.
“Oh, Anne.” Linda slid from the couch to sit on Anne’s right, close enough that their shoulders rubbed as she said softly, “The earth is all about change. The seasons move from summer to winter. The continental plates push up mountains that the weather slowly grinds back down. On this planet, in this universe, nothing stands still.”
Change. Just the thought set up a queasiness inside. “Some of us prefer to stay in summer.” She managed a half a smile. “And prefer that our scenes don’t shift under our feet.”
“Sam said part of the power in your scenes came from anger, and you chose slaves who fed off that anger and the pain.” Linda stopped, letting her silence ask the question—is that what changed?
“That’s the problem.” Anne swallowed the rest of her drink, wishing it were alcohol-laden. “I’m not all that angry at men. Not any longer.”
“How come you were so mad?” Uzuri asked. “Did
something happen that…” Her dusky skin darkened with her flush, and she turned her gaze to the television.
Anne twisted around to study her uneasily. The girl was going to have to talk about what had happened in her past one of these days. Z’s patience with the submissive’s so-called hard limit on her history wouldn’t last much longer. He’d given her a deadline, which was approaching fast.
But this wasn’t the time. She softened her voice. “No, Uzuri. More like an accumulation of job and family frustrations.”
“Family can sure mess with your head,” Sally said under her breath, her mouth twisting with unhappiness.
Remembering what Sally had shared about her unloving father, Anne squeezed her hand, hurting for her. “Hey. In the past, right?”
“In the past.” Sally managed a slight smile. “So what did your family do?”
Needing to take the pain out of Sally’s eyes, Anne offered up more than she would have normally. “My father was career military and totally old school. Dad believes girls are to be protected. They don’t fight, and his baby certainly shouldn’t be doing anything where she could get hurt.”
“Bugger that.” After a second, Olivia pointed her finger at Anne and smirked. “So, because your daddy wanted to protect you, you instantly signed up for danger. First as a Marine, then a cop.”
Stunned, Anne stared at her. “I-I never quite thought of my career choices in that light, but”—she tossed Olivia a salute—“probably it was a part.” Although the overprotective gene that ran rampant in her family probably also played a part.
“I knew you’d been a police officer, but you were a Marine too?” Uzuri’s eyes were big.
“Tough jobs, you had,” Kim said. “So, is bounty hunting more fun than being a cop?”
“Not really.” Her brothers and Dan, a police officer in the Shadowlands, had discovered why she’d left law enforcement, but she’d never discussed it with anyone. But…here…here, she could share and receive only sympathy. The realization created a lump in her throat.
She cleared her voice, feeling as if she were uncovering an old wound. “I loved being a police officer, and I thought I’d like the people I was with. Unfortunately, in the station I got, if you didn’t have balls, you were mostly an irritant.” She imitated the lieutenant’s whiny voice. “‘Female cops put real cops’ lives at risk and take up paying jobs needed by men supporting families.’ As far as the lieutenant was concerned, women officers were only good for fetching coffee or possibly retiring long-dead cases.”
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